Asked to leave livery yard

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cavalier123

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I had a falling out with another livery at the weekend and it was in front of other liveries and the yard owner. There was no swearing or shouting, but it was still not very nice and I do feel bad about it. However, yard owner has decided that I need to leave and reason is that one of us has to go if we can't get on and the other woman has three horses there so it makes business sense to her that I need to leave, as I only have one! I have had no other problems on this yard with anyone or with this woman before now. Because of where I live close to a city there are very few suitable yards around and so leaving would mean moving house (something I am considering), but don't really want to unless I have to as it's a bit extreme, maybe?!? I really want to stay on this yard as it suits me and have apologised for my part (arguing), even though I know I am not in the wrong. I don't have a contract and have always paid my rent on time, can she make me leave in this case?I.E because she makes more money from the other woman? Any advice would be much appreciated.
 
I'm afraid that the YO can ask you to leave for any reason or no reason whatsoever, they should give you suitable notice time, though, so if you pay monthly, that would be a month, if weekly, it would be a week.
 
It is totally down to the YO as to who she has on her yard and why. If you've apologised and she still wants you to leave unfortunately that is that. As Martlin says, you should be given the proper notice. Hope you find something else soon.
 
Unfortunately I think it's a case of her yard, her rules. I don't blame her at all for choosing you, I'm sorry to say. A really horrible situation for you though but I don't think there's really anything you can do. Have you made up with the other livery? And how did things get so nasty? Has the YO given you a deadline to leave by?
 
Sorry to hear that you might have to move
was it a heat of the moment thing which will blow over
could you explain to YO that it was heat of the moment and you wont let it happen again ? If your right is it something YO could set straight depending on what it was about

people have fall outs around horses all the time, I have both witnessed and been involved in yard "fights" and it blows over in time
 
I would imagine she can definitely make you leave it is her property. Tbh if you do not get on with person why would you want to stay, surely it will only create more amnimosity between you and other liveries will feel the backlash of it too. What caused such a public arguement?
 
Well it is a shame but yes you have to leave, she should give you appropriate notice (as it was a falling out rather than a pitchfork throwing duel). I hope you find somewhere soon. I have had 'disagreements' on yards and we have usually sorted it out between ourselves but actually it is nice to hear of a YO taking firm action rather than been weak and wishy washy (although bad luck on you).
 
Get your grovel on! If you don't want to move then try to apologise. It's a little hasty for one little argument, but as you are the on standing to loose you need to be the one to suck up.
 
Wow - thanks everyone for so many quick replies :) I guessed this would probably be the case. To answer some of the questions. Apercrumbie - Have you made up with the other livery? I have tried to make it up with her but she's not interested, I wrongly bought up the problem in front of others - case of legitimate reason to be upset but over emotional reaction at wrong time... And how did things get so nasty? Got involved with sharing jobs, did her horses whilst she was on holiday for a week and asked her to return favour one night - got there the next morning and horse had NO bedding and had been given small morning net over night, no apology when I asked if there had been some confusion, just oh I forgot. Has the YO given you a deadline to leave by? Not yet, just to try to find somewhere else.
RubysGold - I've apologised, explained it was heat of the moment and has never happened before and won't happen again, we will never do each others horses again and there's little else to fall out about.
KTJ1891 - You're right, it isn't a nice situation to be in for anyone, but as explained moving would involve moving house or putting my horse somewhere I wouldn't be happy with.
Shysmum - No contract as this is just how the yard operates, I did try to get one but wasn't up for it. I wouldn't have gone there without if there was somewhere more suitable.
 
Equi - it's certainly the approach I am trying to take, it's the best yard around by miles and I have made other friends on the yard too, so really don't want to move if I can avoid it.
 
If she has just asked for you to try to find somewhere else 'if you cant both get along' then it might be worth keeping head down and looking elsewhere, but if you haven't been able to find anything suitable by the weekend perhaps going back to YO and explaining the difficulty you are having.

Hopefully if things quieten down, and the other livery isn't demanding you leave, then perhaps the YO will let you stay. But do not get into any discussions with other liveries about the incident and be polite but keep your distance from the other woman so that there is less chance of an atmosphere or any friction continuing.

Good luck
 
I would keep your head down then and be an impeccable livery. Definitely keep grovelling and avoid that livery!! For what it's worth I would have been very upset too. I hope the situation is resolved or you find a suitable new yard.
 
I would keep looking for somewhere else, but really keep your head down, keep quiet and hope it blows over. not fair m, no, as I think you had a valid reason to bring up your grevience, but if its a yard that you really want to stay at, you might just have to bite your tongue!!
 
Have you explained to the YO exactly what had happened? Surely she would understand your anger? Maybe let her know that it won't happen again?
There are a couple of ladies at my yard that don't get along and our YO says as long as they keep it to themselves he doesn't care. This was after a blowout argument too. X
 
These things happen and unless the other lady appeals on your behalf, which shows a high level of forgiveness, there is not much you can do. She may, or may not be aware how much difficulty it is causing you, she may be willing to forgive and forget.
I can understand you getting angry.
 
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Thanks for the advice Sunshine, it's exactly what I am going to try to do. Keeping my distance is hard though as we have stables next to each other and staggering times so we don't cross is practically impossible :( I have thought about asking to swap stables, but I think YO will just take that as me being a nuisance so not sure it's a good idea or not...
 
YO knows exactly what has happened, but isn't concerned about lack of care for horse, just that other woman is very busy and these things can happen, he won't die it was a one off. True it's not the end of the world as a one off, but still upsetting :( I knew there was the potential for this to happen when I started sharing jobs, but eventually got drawn into it, really really regret it now.
 
I've never been on a yard with a contract either and I believe they are true fiefdoms, fairness really doesn't come into it, popularity, perception and money is where it is at. That said, it's not like you murdered and ate her puppy or anything so really if you have made an apology and continue to be polite (even though it shouldn't be you apologising) I would hope that it would blow over.


eta, I once forgot to turn out someone's horse, it wasn't someone I shared jobs with though, just someone who couldn't get there in the mornings whose horse was on a different part of the yard from mine. I was mortified that I had forgotten and if the owner had blasted me I would have totally understood.
 
This is not a yard that you can rely on to look after your horse in your absence. If it were me, I would want to move asap, but I would demand written notice to quit first.
 
I would also keep your head down. Maybe buy a card for the other livery and leave it in the stable. In it tell them why it made you so upset and again apologise for airing your grievance in public (and if you think in hindsight that you did go over the top apologise for that, too). If something might be making you a little more sensitive then say so, but not what it is if personal. Finish by saying that you won't bring it up again, but that you wanted to just reiterate how sorry you were for your friendship to end like this (as it does sound like you were friends before). Don't mention it to the yo and if she mentions it to you then tell her how much being on this yard means to you. Tell her you really want to work things out with your fellow livery. Unless they're both prize cows I don't think this situation is beyond rescue. That's what I'd do in your situation, anyway.
 
cavalier123 said:
I don't have a contract and have always paid my rent on time, can she make me leave in this case?I.E because she makes more money from the other woman? Any advice would be much appreciated.
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Yes, sadly YO are a fickle lot and will ask you to leave on the drop of a hat. I live in constant fear of this happening to me, as it has been suggested more than once to people at my old yard and I have actually been told if I don't like it "you can pi** off" before now at one yard. It had actually made me ill with worry and I used to suffer from anxiety attacks due to the worry of being 'chucked off' which I knew would happen one day, probably in response to when I let rip at some incident or other .

In the past when my horse was been injured through lack of adequate care and safeguarding measures I was told it was my horses fault as he has been messing about, it really upset me as my horse was off work for a long while before the incident with an injury and had only just become sound following costly and lengthy treatment to get him right after the injury and we were back to square one again. I was heartbroken at the re-injury, but more so because if the response from the person who I thought I could rely on to help me. I didn't want payment or assistance with vets bills, all I wanted was an admission of guilt and an apology.

Very upsetting for you, I really feel for you, but I don't think you have any ammunition in your fight other than appealing to her better nature.

The best thing to do is if you have to leave look at it as a challenge. You can build a new future with your horse somewhere else. Your horse will adapt quickly and so will you, and who knows you might even end up enjoying your new yard better. I was devastated to leave my first yard but it was a complete hole, and although I had been there for four years the care of the stables, fields and yard was well below standard. When I asked if anything could be done I was told to leave! On the day I was told I couldn't buy any hay from the YO to take with me and my horses hay net was cut in my stable! I left in floods of tears, but a week later I was VERY happy at the new yard with peace, quiet, and a safe secure environment for my horse and we had both settled really well, so its not the end of the world, it really isn;t.

At another yard I was insulted by the YO and told that my horses deaths were my fault even though I wasn't present at three of them!

So I am well used to the level of abuse and lack of respect metered out to liveries by YO's who have absolutely no respect for the way they conduct business and talk to their clients.
 
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Why should a yard have to look after your horse in your absence though? You should have a back up plan of your own, be it family, friends or a good freelance that could cover for you IMO.

It does sound to me, even though your post sound calm and reasonable now, that for the YO to say what they said (as in he won't die etc) that you were more stressed and angry than perhaps you think you were?

I would go back to the YO calmly, say you're sorry again, say you really like the yard and if you promised to not get involved in any shared jobs arrangement and just did your own horse quietly would she give it another try?
 
If you really dont want to leave then you need to sit down with YO and explain what you have said to us- that although it wasn't a life or death situation at the time it upset you as you had done her favours and her blase response niggled you.

I would suggest possible moving stable if there is space or opportunity to and confirm with the lady you had an arguement with that you apologies and want to move forward on civil grounds and maybe for the short term try and avoid being up at the same time.

If neither YO or fellow livery wants to here it unfortunately you have no alternative but to move. Anyways you may find that in fact you do find a nice yard that suits you just as well, so try and see the positive in it and that everything happens for a reason!
 
Yes sadly a YO can ask you to go and as you have no contract you are at their mercy.

I know a friend who was asked to leave a yard because of a row but both involved were asked to leave and while I think she didnt deserve it at least both were given equal blame and the same treatment.

I have always had a contract which involves both the livery and the YO giving the other notice of leaving.

If you have apologised and explained there is not much more you can do other than apologise again and try to mend bridges and explain why you were so annoyed. It will be hard but maybe worth it to stay at your yard when you are happy there and there are no other suitable yards in the area for you to go to??
 
cavalier123 said:
YO knows exactly what has happened, but isn't concerned about lack of care for horse, just that other woman is very busy and these things can happen, he won't die it was a one off. True it's not the end of the world as a one off, but still upsetting :( I knew there was the potential for this to happen when I started sharing jobs, but eventually got drawn into it, really really regret it now.
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Move. IMHO, a YO who isn't prepared to be fair (as in have the wisdom of Solomon - I do know how hard it is), isn't worth your time. If your YO knows what happened and is still prepared to sacrifice you, he/she isn't worth sticking around for. There ARE other yards . . . trust me, I know.

Hugs.

P
 
Honey08 said:
Why should a yard have to look after your horse in your absence though? You should have a back up plan of your own, be it family, friends or a good freelance that could cover for you IMO.

It does sound to me, even though your post sound calm and reasonable now, that for the YO to say what they said (as in he won't die etc) that you were more stressed and angry than perhaps you think you were?

I would go back to the YO calmly, say you're sorry again, say you really like the yard and if you promised to not get involved in any shared jobs arrangement and just did your own horse quietly would she give it another try?
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Regarding caring for the horse, firstly the YO presumably has a duty of care to ensure that all animals are adequately provided for? And the OP had cared for this other livery's horses previously: they were sharing jobs, and the livery forgot/cba to do the horse properly for the OP.

I agree with the rest of your post though, aside from asking to stay :)
 
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