Asking for Loan horse back Vs Upsetting people

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Hi, Im looking for some advice.
2.5 years ago i put my special mare out on loan after having the part loaner at the time leave me in the lurch. She went on full loan to a competition home as she is a competition mare and i could not have asked for a more perfect loan home. I had another horse at the time i was bringing on and couldnt juggle the two as the new one was quite hard work.
My mare was/is perfect in the sense that she was a finished article so to speak.
Fast forward 2.5 years and in that time the second horse i was bringing on has been retired for pretty much the 2 years due to ongoing issues and i started looking for another horse as i was becoming quite depressed not being able to ride. I found a rescue case and whilst its not what i was looking for i took a risk and brought her home, she is lovely, so quiet and gentle but having assessed her over the last 8 weeks i think she needs to be turned away to gain some more weight and mature as she is quite a stressy horse and after the life shes had needs to just be a horse for a while.

All this is going on and in my head i keep thinking of my special mare and how i would love to have her back yet i am torn at knowing it will devastate the loaners, they have asked to buy her many times and i have refused. I will never find another horse like her and i promised the day i bought her after hearing about her appalling background that i would never sell her.
I know shes not out competing as much at the moment as the loaner has A-levels not to mention she had a nasty accident last summer as well, plus from what i can gather she is obviusly enjoying being a young teenage girl going out/boys etc.

I dont know what to do for the best, do i leave them be and just suck it up for the moment and accept the fact i will have a summer doing groundwork and the odd hack or do i upset these lovely people to have my mare back so i can go out and do things like i want to?

Thankyou in advance.
 
Upset them. Take her back.

I once loaned out a perfect competition horse, to a good home. Decided I wanted him back but they were devastated so I said they could have another year.
2 months later the horse was dead having had an accident. I'll never have another horse like that and I'll now never get him back.
If I could go back in time I'd definitely put myself first.

She's your horse, she's on loan hence the people know she could be taken back. If you want her back, take her back. They'll find something else.
 
Why don't you have a chat, maybe even arrange to pop over and speak to them face to face and see the mare. I think you would be in a much better position that way to make an informed decision.

Personally if I was loaning the mare i would be gutted if you asked for her back BUT its a loan, this is what can/ does happen and when you take on a loan you take on the uncertainty that comes with it.
I'm a soft sod as well and if they were perfect and had offered to buy her more than once I would be inclinded not to terminate the loan.

Stretch your budget, stop taking on unsuitable 'rescues' and get something you can get out on this summer and leave the loan mare where she is. For what its worth thats my opinion but horrible situation for you to be in so good luck :)
 
Sorry but it's a no-brainer for me - she is your horse, so you ask for her back.

The only issue is that they have fed and kept her for a horribly long wet winter, so you could give them a few months' notice so that they can have some fun time competing. But if the girl is doing exams then that won't be until the end of June, so it might not make enough of a difference to them.

It is always tricky, but that's the downside of a loan.
 
Antw23uk said:
Why don't you have a chat, maybe even arrange to pop over and speak to them face to face and see the mare. I think you would be in a much better position that way to make an informed decision.

Personally if I was loaning the mare i would be gutted if you asked for her back BUT its a loan, this is what can/ does happen and when you take on a loan you take on the uncertainty that comes with it.
I'm a soft sod as well and if they were perfect and had offered to buy her more than once I would be inclinded not to terminate the loan.

Stretch your budget, stop taking on unsuitable 'rescues' and get something you can get out on this summer and leave the loan mare where she is. For what its worth thats my opinion but horrible situation for you to be in so good luck :)
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Almost all my horses have been rescues and normally they become little superstars but i agree, i think this time i took one on that needs more time than i perhaps realised. Its certainly my own fault.
 
Why not pop round to see them, and your girl, and perhaps suggest you could help them through the exams and revision time by offering to exercise the mare a few times each week. You may find that it gets you through the waiting time for your new one and may lessen the impact on loaner of taking her back at some point if they are having less daily contact and responsibility.
 
Ask for her back but do it kindly and gently and give them time to get their heads round it .
They are going to be upset can't stop that .
 
is your mare not close enough to share? If not then she is your horse give them 2 months notice and take her back!! Its not like you've done it after they've put loads of work in and had no fun

she IS your horse, why should you miss out
 
Sunshine said:
Why not pop round to see them, and your girl, and perhaps suggest you could help them through the exams and revision time by offering to exercise the mare a few times each week. You may find that it gets you through the waiting time for your new one and may lessen the impact on loaner of taking her back at some point if they are having less daily contact and responsibility.
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Im going to ask to go and see her, im due to visit anyway as its been abit longer than i would normally leave it.
I dont think they would appreciate me offering to exercise her though, she is kept on their land/yard so they dont need my help in that respect. I know the mother rides her as well to keep her ticking over but doesnt compete her.
I could ask to ride her when i visit but i do think that might come across as a tad weird and im not sure what reaction that would spark from them.
 
I think a visit is a good idea .
See your horse in situ on their yard and then decide if you want to move her so you can ride .
 
Why would it seem weird for you to expect to ride your own horse when you visit? Don't tiptoe round them too much - this is your horse, they've had her and I'm sure enjoyed her for a reasonable length of time. If it's time for you to have her back, then so be it. Just stick to the terms of your contract where it comes to notice periods etc. I can see you don't want to upset them but from what you've said it sounds like the girl has other interests and commitments at this time anyway and at the end of the day it is a loan and they must have understood it would have to end sometime.
 
How far apart do you live? Would it be possible for them to share from your yard?

If not, just bite the bullet and give them notice. It's sad for them but it is the nature of the loan and you have made it perfectly clear in the past that the horse is very much yours and will never be sold to them so it probably is in the back of their minds that this might happen at some point.
 
I've got a lovely little mare on loan............... she's been with me now for two-plus years and my boy loves her to bits, they're field companions.

I know that she's here on long-term loan and the owner is quite happy with that: BUT, unfortunately this is the problem with loans, the owner just might want the horse back at some stage and that's the way it is.

Perhaps you could, as has been suggested, pop round and say hi to the loaner, keeping things very casual. IF she's doing A levels then she's not going to be doing a lot with your mare at the moment anyway is she, and presumably after A Levels there may be a possibility that she may be off to Uni????? Sooooo........... yes appreciate you'd like your mare back NOW but what I'm saying is that all you might have to do is wait just a few months and then the problem might be solved for you anyway????

IF the mare has been happy in her loan home and been well treated, she's given enjoyment to a kid who wouldn't otherwise have had the chance to ride.......... plus, it has suited YOU as well for the mare to be with the girl - and personally (OK so I know I'm as soft as a baby's bum) I'd be a bit reluctant to "demand" her back ASAP to be honest, when it just might be that you could compromise by say, offering to have mare back with you while girl is doing A levels so as to give her more time for study etc (i.e. being tactful:)), OR you could ask if you could go over to ride/compete your mare from the loaner's yard??

I'd proceed with sensitivity TBH: yes I know it is your mare and yes know how much you might want her back, but as I say, this situation might well be solved in a few months anyway without you needing to do much, if you see what I mean.
 
Will you still want to keep her when the new horse comes back into work?

If yes, then have her back.
If no, but she's happy where she is, leave her there.
If no, but she's unhappy where she is, have her back.
 
Faracat said:
Will you still want to keep her when the new horse comes back into work?

If yes, then have her back.
If no, but she's happy where she is, leave her there.
If no, but she's unhappy where she is, have her back.
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I agree with this it would selfish to remove her from this home if you are not going to keep her with you until the end .
 
Faracat said:
Will you still want to keep her when the new horse comes back into work?

If yes, then have her back.
If no, but she's happy where she is, leave her there.
If no, but she's unhappy where she is, have her back.
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I also think you must be sure you want her back, full time not just as a stopgap, finding another perfect home is not easy.

Go and visit, talk to them see what they have in mind if daughter is doing A levels, is she off to Uni in the autumn. That could change things.
 
If the loaners wanted the security of ownership, they would not have entered into a loan agreement in the first instance.
If you can do the horse justice with time and work, have her back but do it kindly but clearly.
 
It is your horse, I don't know why you would feel uncomfortable about riding her when you visit, or asking for her back. There is a nice way to do it, thank them for looking after her so well for you (gift/card perhaps?) give adequate notice, offer them the opportunity to keep in touch/visit etc. They may well be upset but as long as you don't turn up one day with a trailer and whip the horse off them, their upset is not your problem - they chose to loan and not buy.
But good loan homes are hard to find so I would only go ahead with taking her back if I was absolutely sure I wanted to have her back longterm.
However don't leave her where she is just to avoid upsetting them, that is just daft.
 
Ditto if you want to have her for more than just the summer then have her back if you think you might loan her again after then poss let her stay where she is.
 
I had my dream loan horse taken back when I was 14. Yes I was devastated but I had a wonderful 2 years with her for which I was grateful. It's your horse, do what is right for you and don't miss out at the risk of just upsetting someone else
 
In your shoes (and assuming I was wanting the horse back long term) I would speak to them face to face and let them know (gently) that at some point in the future you will be asking for your horse back.
I'd probably say that to thank them for looking after her so well would they like this summer with her and you take her in September? That could ease the blow a little and give them time to prepare, alternatievly you may find they think it easier to give her back sooner so daughter can concentrate on exams, in which case their choice and you win.
 
Ditto Faracat.

If you just want her back to have some fun in the summer, then want to re-loan her next winter when you other one needs attention then I think that would be pretty mean on them, loan or not.

Do you want her back permanently? If so think about it. I know the weather isn't your fault, but it seems very hard on them even if it is the latter to take her back just as the weather improves. Okay she isn't doing as much due to a-levels, but maybe she's been working hard with the dream of getting her reward of riding this summer as the motivation? Yes the horse is yours, but playing devils advocate when it suits you for someone else to pay & care for your horse, the price you pay is they aren't there for you to ride.

If I loaned a horse (which I did with my first one for 2 years before I bought her), I know the owner can ask for them back after notice. However, if I was giving the horse a brilliant home I'd hope the effort I had put in would be appreciated & the owner wouldn't ask for them back just because they wanted to ride that summer & their other horses were out of action. It suits you now to take her back (for your gain, not the horses - you've said she is well cared for), will it still suit you in the autumn when you have 3 to do & 2 to ride? Why take on a rescue horse that isn't ready to work when you wanted to ride?

Trying to see the other persons perspective. There's what is legally fine, & what is right.
 
If she was so special you would not have put her out on such a long term loan, i think you are feeling like this because you want to ride and cant and think at the back of your mind you do have another horse, let them buy her and use the money to buy another special horse. After all they and her know each other better than you know her, 2.5 years is a long time to be apart.
 
putasocinit said:
If she was so special you would not have put her out on such a long term loan, i think you are feeling like this because you want to ride and cant and think at the back of your mind you do have another horse, let them buy her and use the money to buy another special horse. After all they and her know each other better than you know her, 2.5 years is a long time to be apart.
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I think that this is a bit unfair to the OP. She found a good, responsible loan home rather than selling her because she thought the horse was special. 2.5 years is a long time to be away from a horse, but we have no idea how long she has owned this horse for, so I think it's wrong to say that they know each other better. As has been said, the loaner will probably want to give the horse up when she goes to university anyway. The OP has no obligation to let them buy a horse just because they like it- after all it sounds like she put some of the work in to make the horse so nice.

I think it might be a good idea to have a chat to them about the future. It's unlikely the girl will be able to keep riding as much if she's going away to uni soon, so if they are thinking of giving her up at some point anyway, then it's not unfair to ask for her back a little earlier. Ultimately it's your horse, and they could have bought another on if they wanted to, so if you really want the horse back, then take it back with the required notice period.
 
putasocinit said:
If she was so special you would not have put her out on such a long term loan, i think you are feeling like this because you want to ride and cant and think at the back of your mind you do have another horse, let them buy her and use the money to buy another special horse. After all they and her know each other better than you know her, 2.5 years is a long time to be apart.
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Sometimes you can write the most foolish responses.
 
Thankyou to all the replies.

Firstly, yes I would be having her back to keep. This is the first time she has ever gone out on full loan, I've had sharers in the past as I work shifts so It worked well at the time but she's never left me until she went on loan.

The other two horses I own, the ine that I initially was concentrating on went lame about 3 months after my mare left and has remained lame ever since, her chances of coming sound are minimal but i am fortunate that she can remain a field horse as I love her dearly. The rescue, not my greatest idea, granted, will probably need to be brought on next year but again there is no real rush and he's a small pony not a competition horse so I won't feel the pressure that I felt with the other horse. Plus, I think I also need to lessen such pressure on myself anyway.

I've owned my special mare since we re backed her and started her again after she was abused. I've owned her for 9 years so no, the loaners do not know her better than me. All the work put Into her was from me and she is by far my greatest achievement with 4 legs.
I have refused to sell her to them because I do not want to, loan or not. They are capable of buying a horse like mine twice over as they have the funds but they are attached to her and I understand why because she is just that type of horse.

I'm going to have a hard think about the replies and what is the best for my girl, for now though I have arranged a visit to go and see her :)
 
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OP - I have just done the reverse.
I had FLF on a 'long term loan'. However, CF hit me between the eyes & when I knew I was buying him, I had to let FLF's owner know she was coming back - with about just over 3 weeks notice. Owner was fine about this & appreciated that while I had had a good time, her mare needed to return home.

CF had been on loan when I brought him, via his owner, as loaners had given notice to end agreement due to finances. He was apparently very much loved by loaners.
When CF arrived 3 weeks ago, he was clean on the white bits, tho he had a bad case of Mallenders on 2 legs, his rugs were filthy, his tack stiff as a board & filthy, and had not been ridden more than twice since xmas apart from when I tried him..... draw your conclusions as to how much he was loved in the past 2+ months....

What I'm trying to say, is that this is YOUR horse you are discussing, not someone elses....
What notice period do you have for terminating the agreement?
Please dont try to buy more horses instead, dont make concessions to the loaners, if you do want YOUR horse back, then politely let them know with a due date for collection.
 
quite frankly if you wanted you could just drive p there now load her up and take her home without a single word to them..........its your horse...they know that shes on loan and that is how a loan works, they are not your problem, if they have offered to buy her then they can obviously afford to buy/loan another one.
 
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