At what point do you realise your horse isn't the 'one' for you?

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Sophstar

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I need advice, a slap or reassurance to my sudden realisation today that my horse is not what I want at all.

Bought him in April as project who just needed bringing back into work. Was told he was 'looky' but safe hacking and this is ultimately what I want...a happy hacker who can do local shows, sponsored ride and generally have fun on. Brought back into work and up until October was being schooled and hacked at the weekend with company. Ditched twice on the road and 3 times in the school (i reacted quick enough to stick the numerous other attempts) with no pattern to the cause other than he's sharp, melodramatic and a real handful. He cld ditch you then let you get back on and continue as though nothing had happened. Vet check over all clear.

On the yard we had made progress but he's hard work and today it took over an hour to wash his legs because he was brought in on his own, something we had done everyday through summer and were improving steadily but he was just a nightmare. Walked him round the yard and he starts bucking on the end of the rope because he's like a coiled spring and he can't bear being out of sight of the others.

I haven't been able to ride him for a few weeks because he had cut his legs and was still slightly sore on one and now he's got so much energy , i hand on heart haven't got the guts to get on him because I know he'll explode, even after a good lunge and i value weekends without concussion and bruises! He won't stable on his own and even in the field I put my pony out to keep him company whilst his herd were brought in for a groom and he races round calling.

I came to the realisation today that this is no longer fun, i don't find myself eager to get to the yard, every time I get on I'm not certain if I'll be in 1 piece by the end and I don't trust him and he's just too much. I can't hop on for a weekend ride because I need company more for my safety than his sake and the lifestyle I offer clearly isn't suitable for him. He needs to be at a yard worked every day and a strict routine to offer consistency and I don't have the time or facilities to offer this and I'm now reaching the point that I just don't like him. It's just not clicking. It's mentally draining.

Advice, slap or reassurance that my sudden awakening rings true with others?!
 
At what point?? When u couldn't care less if u found them with all fours in the air in the morning! ;). Seriously OP it's meant to be fun, being dumped on the road isn't fun! I took a "project" on a few years ago. I nearly killed myself and it took a lot for me to admit it wasn't right, I had bitten off more than I could chew etc etc.. He found a better home for him and I got myself my horse of a lifetime. It's fun again!
 
think you have answered your own question trust me when I say I know how you feel just done 6 years with extremely difficult horse tried so hard but it was not fun and very nearly made me give up but have new horse now and I am enjoying horses again remember its meant to be fun we all work very hard to keep our horses you must enjoy it or whats the point good luck
 
If you don't look at your horse and your heart leaps then you have the wrong horse op. You seem to have given him every chance to improve. It is meant to be fun, if it's not then you have the wrong horse. Being dumped on the road is not fun!!
 
You have my sympathies - I've been ditched on gravel (hurt) and more recently dropped on Tarmac (saddle slipped but not a complete slip so trying to work out what to think of it). Broke my hip. Mine is totally different in that she's not sharp or silly - she's a very good hack BUT when she doesn't cope she really doesn't and it comes from nowhere. She's also v good to handle - though not nec fun to be around as she can be a complete grump. She's a real Jekyll and Hyde! I have enjoyed maybe 6 months of the 2 years I've owned her. I want to get to the bottom of her issues but whether I ride her again is another matter - I remember a time when riding my horse was fun and uncomplicated not an exercise in risk assessment. I'm lucky, I keep her at home so no hardship to spend time working it out. If I was in livery or limited in some way space wise etc I suspect I'd be considering calling it a day.
 
I still remember the relief when I sold a horse I'd had no fun with for four years. He wasn't particularly dangerous or difficult, he just would not consistently be told what to do, at what pace, when. It was bliss coming home from the performance sale I took him to with an empty lorry. I've never regretted it, I should have done it long before.
 
cptrayes said:
I still remember the relief when I sold a horse I'd had no fun with for four years. He wasn't particularly dangerous or difficult, he just would not consistently be told what to do, at what pace, when. It was bliss coming home from the performance sale I took him to with an empty lorry. I've never regretted it, I should have done it long before.
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^^^^ This, if you`re not enjoying it, it`s time to move on. It`s a hobby, we spend money to enjoy it, if you`re not enjoying it you may as well pay someone to just give you a slap or two instead lol ... ;)
 
I look at people who just don't enjoy their horse and wonder why they persist. Well, no, I don't, I know, cos I love mine to bits, but I should have bought a taller, older, less spooky horse, but I doubt after six years I could sell him. Is anyone's horse perfect for them? Maybe they've resigned themselves to having a horse that won't load/jump high enough/is too spooky.

Rambling, sorry. I think if you know he's not for you and you're getting hurt, it's time to re-evaluate and move on.
 
Sold one many years ago that I'd lost my confidence on. Wasn't fun any more and I felt like crying at times he made me nervous. I'd had him four years but I wasn't enjoying riding him. He'd reared and come over backwards on top of me, goodness knows how I escaped with just badly bruised ribs. Previous 6 months to that I'd got a mouthful of hoof and lost 2 front teeth turning him out in the field. Loved him but had to let him go.
 
A sharp, sensitive horse will always be a sharp, sensitive horse, and the choices are to up your game and learn to deal with that and give the horse a lot of consistency, not ride the horse, or sell the horse. Even if you send it to a trainer, you still need to be able to ride the horse when it comes back, so while it might be better trained, it can quickly become nutty if you're not. If you're not happy and not enjoying the horse, or don't particularly like it, then doing the first is a chore and probably expensive, if it involved trainers. I know quite a few people doing the second -- they're afraid to ride it, but won't sell it -- which I find kind of mystifying and I am not sure horse or person is that happy. It seems to me that the third, selling the horse, is the best choice. Lots of people like sharp, spooky horses. Someone out there might really enjoy your horse.
 
Another vote for selling- and soon, before he injures himself again.
Next time he might do himself permanent damage, then you would be stuck with him
 
Yes, its a no brainer, I would advertise and send him to a trainer to sell. The trainer is better placed to assess the horse for the purchaser. You are more likely to get a competant rider this way, and secure a good home. Better to be upfront, you are overhorsed., for the right person he may not be a problem.
 
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cinnamontoast said:
Is anyone's horse perfect for them? Maybe they've resigned themselves to having a horse that won't load/jump high enough/is too spooky.

Rambling, sorry. I think if you know he's not for you and you're getting hurt, it's time to re-evaluate and move on.
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Yes my horse is perfect for me!! She doesn't have any issues. At her worst she can be a little sharp/bouncy when she gets excited. But without this she wouldn't be the forward fun sensitive ride that I love. Even her movement is perfect for me as it means when she does have a sharp moment I can easily deal with it (she is a welshie not a bouncy WB )

Op. I sold my last horse as he was not safe for me. The day after I found do who is so perfect :)
 
Sukistokes2 said:
If you don't look at your horse and your heart leaps then you have the wrong horse op. You seem to have given him every chance to improve. It is meant to be fun, if it's not then you have the wrong horse. Being dumped on the road is not fun!!
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so sorry for you but i agree with^, my friend is so scared of her horse dumping her, she comes and rides one of mine, this is not the answer to her problem but she chews my head off if i tell her to re home her horse , she keeps thinking he will improve but he doesn't, they also know exactly what you are feeling so if you don't like him perhaps it's time for him to move on too.
 
I have one that wasn't right for me. I had some wonderful times on him but only ever when we were out doing something like hunting or xc. General day to day hacking I didn't enjoy. I still have him. He has some DJD in his hocks and although he could manage a bit of hacking I don't bother. I used to dread riding him some days. So he's a retired pet now at the grand old age of 13.

He's a lovely horse to be around though. So loving and friendly. He was never malicious when ridden. Just too much of a big, strong horse for me most days!
 
So many times in our first 6 months I wanted to sell Jack to Tesco to make lasagne. He has now come good though, and while he is cheeky, he is never dangerous (his version of a bolt with a friend resulted in trotting a big circle and sticking his head in a bush). The reason I didnt get rid of him even when i was weeping in the saddle because I really didnt want to ride the pony was in my heart of hearts I knew he wasnt a monster and if i just let him in, he would look after me.

I think you have to look deep at what you want, and in that I think you have answered your own question. If he is ditching you, and generally being dangeous, its not worth putting yourself through heartache and danger. You will find one you really like, and while its hard, it will be worth it. Hell, you may not click with the right one straight away, but you will know its right even through the frustration and doubt.
 
I recently sold a horse I'd had for five years he was great to hack but didn't want to do dressage anymore and I did. I've now got a horse that i really enjoy and I just wish I hadn't kept my old boy for so long as he's in a lovely hacking home doing what he loves and I'm doing what I love. Your horse sounds unsuitable for you, get rid and find something you enjoy but please be honest about the horse you are selling.
 
What vet checks has he had? If merely a vet come to look at him, do a couple of flexion tests, and say he's ok, may be worth checking for KS, ulcers etc
 
I sold mine a few months ago, and it was a relief to be honest (had him 4 years)... I think it hits you loud and clear, when you're lying on your back on the floor looking up at their chin.. mine was a bolter, and very spooky, very sensitive, and the rearing was just annoying...and in the 4 years I had him, his behavior did not change...he was very difficult at shows (was an unexploded bomb). I spent a lot of money getting him thoroughly checked by vet, full body xrays, got the perfect saddle fitted to him (and checked every few months)...tried different bits, different feeds, calmers, trainers...nothing helped...I even resorted to a horse whisperer (money down the drain though!). When I was having trouble in the first 6 months with him, I kept thinking it would get better...in a sense some things improved - his level of training and fitness improved a lot - from zero training to Medium level dressage - but the underlying character traits did not change, they stayed, and it made training very challenging and not much fun for me. There was the occasional "good day", when I thought hey, if only we'd have more of these...but sadly they were rare. If you've done all the usual checks, and the problem is really only in the horse's brain, there's not much you can do to change this. It's hard to cut the losses, but if your own safety is at risk, then it's clear what you should do. I sold him for next to nothing, with the full story of his behavior...it was a very big financial loss, but it had to be done for my own safety.
 
I eventually realised mine wasn't the right one for me 100% when I was sitting at the top of a very steep hill with a broken leg watching him canter gaily down the hill having bronked and bronked until I was hurled out of the saddle like an exocet missile. My worst fears were confirmed that day - this was perhaps not the most suitable equine for my requirements, a sensible ladies hunter. He is now a huntsman's horse and hunts hounds all day twice a week. The amount of work I could put into him before work every day was not anywhere near enough required to keep all four of his feet on the ground. And that was despite just living off hay and grass!!
 
This was me earlier this year. I had my previous horse for about 6 months when I realised that he wasn't the horse I wanted or should even have. I decided to give it another few months, mainly for my own sake so that I knew I had given it a good go.

Thankfully, I never experienced half of the problems that many of you have. He didn't rear or bolt, never seriously injured me. He just made me very nervous and it wasn't fun at all. I had him just over a year in the end.

Luckily he was on full loan to me, so returning him to his owner was fairly straigtforward. He was actually rehomed from my yard. As far as I know, he's now doing really well in his new loaner. And it wasn't long after he went that I found and bought my B. And I've never looked back. I actually get excited about riding these days!

If you're asking the question, it's pretty clear that you already know the answer.

Best of luck, OP.
 
I think all the above comments say it all. Sell him now before either of you have any more accidents! Next time take a lot of time and great care in choosing a horse and make sure it is exactly what you want.
 
If its not fun then its not worth it, I'm with the others and say sell/ rehome him. Life is too short to be miserable and a rude, badly behaved horse on the ground is just an accident waiting to happen.

My horse has one fault in that he hates being clipped! Every other inch of him is pure perfection :)

I see people struggling with rude and bolshy horses and it makes me nervous just watching. I've also owned a highly strung TB who needed work every day or he would turn into a ticking time bomb and it makes you miserable. I would NEVER have a horse that couldn't be brought on to a yard on its own, that's just crazy!
 
I had an Arabian youngster who was far, far too much for me. He only ditched me twice but both times I knew I had no chance of staying on him. I had to gird my loins to get on him, and it was a constant battle every time I did anything with him. The second time he ditched me I knew I wouldn't get on him again and had palpitations just thinking about it.

I sold him to an endurance rider at a big loss but you can't put a price on a clear conscience. He was given a huge amount to do and forged a great partnership with his new owner, and is now doing 75k races. He's tired enough now to be a total dobbin. And I got my girl who is my joy, who calls to me in the field, who I can hack on the buckle, and with whom I laugh when we canter. I would have had my boy pts if I hadn't found the right home because he was very much a challenging ride, but I would never subject myself or another horse long term to a partnership that's not working. It costs too much and it hurts when you hit the deck!
 
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