Autistic child coming to play with pony, what do I do with them?

DizzyDoughnut

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My friend asked if she could bring her husbands autistic nephew to see my shetland because she thinks it might help him.... i said ohh yes of course bring him down whenever you want.

Now I'm not good with children, they scare me, they are fine at a safe distance but I have no idea what to do with them which wouldn't be so much of a problem except my friend is also rubbish with kids... was hoping the childs mum would be coming as well so i could just do the pony bit and the mum could do the child handling part but sadly thats not happening.

The pony did have another small child that came to play but he was quite happy to tell you what he wanted to do and spent about 2 minutes on the pony and the rest of the time chatting to her and leading her around jumping in every puddle he could find, while the pony walked him to the next patch of grass.

So my question is what on earth do I do with the child? brush the pony, ride it? what else?

Help
 

Rebels

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How old is child? It would depend on which end of the spectrum he is on and how communicative he is. Maybe he could take the pony for a walk either ridden or led and you can point out anything interesting. Or lay a simple treasure hunt like find a round stone, piece of straw etc
 

B_2_B

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Everything :)

I'm sure he will let you know if he does or doesn't want to do something.

Let him have the chance to put headcollar on, definitely lead pony around, grooming, ride.
Can you set up a sort of course maybe slalom in and out of cones, mini jump to lead her over? We do little activities like that with the kids doing Equine therapy.

I don't know your pony, but you may well find she'll act a bit differently with him, take the lead and hopefully they'll become best friends :D

Lovely thing for you to let him come up to meet her, ponies can be the ultimate medicine for kids like him :)
 

Enfys

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You concentrate on the pony, let whoever brings the child down look after him, if they expect to leave you to look after the child and you are uncomfortable with it, don't do it:) Simple.

As for what to do, be led by the child, it depends on his age and the extent of his disability, I would just treat him the same as I would any other child and do everything.
 

Theocat

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I'd ask your friend if it would be okay to telephone his mother in advance, just to say hello and find out a bit about him and ask these sorts of questions ... and ideally try to arrange for her to be there as well, although I don't know the circumstances. One parent really ought to be IMO, unless your friend knows him very well.

I would be guided by the child - just start off very gently and as long as everyone involved is safe and happy I'd take the child's lead; don't feel you ought to be doing anything specific.

Be prepared to call it a day if you, the pony or the boy seem at all unhappy or uncomfortable with anything.
 

FionaM12

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It all depends on how severe his disability is. A lot of people with autism are quite able to tell you what they want to do. However I work with two ladies who can't speak at all. It's a broad spectrum.

In my experience with people with autism, the main thing is to speak quite plainly. Say what you mean, avoid hints or confusing expressions. People with autism tend to take everything very literally. I've also found that small talk, or filling the gaps with attempts at humour is a bad idea, that tends to cause confusion too. Being quiet together often works best. :)

Every child is an individual, it's not really possible to give much advice for that reason. :)

I'm sure you'll be fine. What a lovely thing to do. There's lots of good stuff being found out about the therapeutic effects contact with horses can have.
 

Springy

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Everything :)

I'm sure he will let you know if he does or doesn't want to do something.

Let him have the chance to put headcollar on, definitely lead pony around, grooming, ride.
Can you set up a sort of course maybe slalom in and out of cones, mini jump to lead her over? We do little activities like that with the kids doing Equine therapy.

I don't know your pony, but you may well find she'll act a bit differently with him, take the lead and hopefully they'll become best friends :D

Lovely thing for you to let him come up to meet her, ponies can be the ultimate medicine for kids like him :)

^^^^ this

My friend has an autistic son very high level yet round horses he is great.... a real natural horseman.

:D
 

Partridg3

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My son is autistic and was very frightened at first. Just try a little stroke and a brush and perhaps a bit of mucking out. Not too much at once. A little brush might be all he can cope with initially. Look out for signs of stress...getting worked up, sweating etc. good luck. My son is very calm round my horses
 

B_2_B

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The suggestion of seeing if you can speak to the mother first is a good one, find a little bit more out about him, if only to get permission to take some photos, it's highly likely the cuteness will demand photographs :D
 

DizzyDoughnut

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Awww thanks for your replies. Should have said the child is 5, its not so much that hes autistic that worries me its that hes a child hahaha

Really wish i was better with kids because I'm 30 going on 3 myself and now thinking about setting up a handy pony type obstacle course more for my own amusement than anything else. The shetland is great with anything and anyone so she will happily do whatever weird thing i think of next. Might wait till the second time he comes before i start getting him hanging up washing from the back of a pony though just incase it turns out he doesn't like ponies. In the mean time i shall hang out washing and jump through things myself.

So maybe for the first time... meet the pony check he actually likes ponies first then brush/get to know the pony and maybe go for a wander in lane and see what he wants to do? does that sound ok?
 

Pearlsasinger

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As others have said, it will depend on the age of the boy and the severity of his disability. Talk to him, he might appear to not be listening but he will be. Tell him how the pony's fur feels when you stroke it, explain that when you brush the bristles go into the fur and smooth it out, keep it logical and simple. Show him what the pony eats and where it lives. Don't expect the boy to answer questions, such as 'what do you think.......?' until he knows you better, as he may find this stressful. Be prepared to keep the session very short, with no riding - although he may want to spend ages with you and love to ride.
 

DizzyDoughnut

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Ohhh yes i forgot my main reason for letting kids come and play with her is the opportunity to get cute pictures she is so cute and can't resist a photo opportunity, her last small person still has a picture of him with the pony on his fridge and apparently tell anyone who comes over that thats his pony and she likes apples... hes only 4 bless him.

So yes i will ring his mum to find out more and also get permission to take many photos

I work with a couple of autistic people so have learnt that they tend to take things literally its just that hes a small person and small people worry me.
 

B_2_B

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Awww thanks for your replies. Should have said the child is 5, its not so much that hes autistic that worries me its that hes a child hahaha

Really wish i was better with kids because I'm 30 going on 3 myself and now thinking about setting up a handy pony type obstacle course more for my own amusement than anything else. The shetland is great with anything and anyone so she will happily do whatever weird thing i think of next. Might wait till the second time he comes before i start getting him hanging up washing from the back of a pony though just incase it turns out he doesn't like ponies. In the mean time i shall hang out washing and jump through things myself.

So maybe for the first time... meet the pony check he actually likes ponies first then brush/get to know the pony and maybe go for a wander in lane and see what he wants to do? does that sound ok?

Yes perfect :)
And you should have just as much fun as him and your pony do so get designing the best handy pony course you can ;) :D
If you're having fun too, it will relax everyone :)
 

Pearlsasinger

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Really wish i was better with kids because I'm 30 going on 3 myself


You'll be absolutely fine, that's the best way to relate to children, on their level.
I'm an Infants teacher, in my 50s and my sister says I'm still 6, which isn't to say that I can't take control when I need to but thinking like and dealing with children on their level is the way to enthuse them.


So maybe for the first time... meet the pony check he actually likes ponies first then brush/get to know the pony and maybe go for a wander in lane and see what he wants to do? does that sound ok?

Sounds good to me.
 

Foxhunter49

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Not all autistic children take to horses at once.
Good advice has been given, encourage, don't expect to much and give him a chance to find his own way with the pony.

As for being frightened of children, just realise that they love to have a job to do Give a toddler a hose and tell them to fill a water bucket and they will do it. (They will also fill their boots, wash the dogs and take about an hour to get a 1/4 bucket of water but they are being 'helpful'

Start them young,

barrow3.jpg


Work them hard

Barrow.jpg


and life will be peaceful!

AsleeponATV.jpg
 

Nickijem

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My 4 year old autistic nephew came up to the yard for the first time last Sunday. He met my friends little 11.2hh pony and was quite nervous but watched me brush her then had a little go at brushing her himself. I know my nephew can freak out quite easily so we just made everything fun but encouraged him to try things by explaining everything we did.
I'm sure you'll both be fine and he'll have lots of fun. Just be patient and be aware that autistic children's senses are often much more sensitive than ours that is why they may freak at loud noises and strange sights. Just understanding that can help if the child flips at something.
Have fun and well done for doing something that may really help this child.
 

DizzyDoughnut

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hahaha love those photos.

this is about 2 weeks after we got her, she arrived completely wild and within a week was already anyones best friend couldn't have wished for a more laid back easy going pony and she actually jumped those sheep hurdle things one day, was quite impressed, would have been even more impressed had i actually wanted her to do it
556261_3729796844580_1024340375_n.jpg
 

joeanne

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Stiggy is on loan to an autistic child.
I agonised over it, but it was clearly the right thing to do as the wee terrorist only bites me when I go to do his loan checks.
You will likely find him a sensitive soul which in turn will likely endear him to the pony (he will be less inclined to pull fur ect like a standard 5 yr old!).
I am really looking forward to a post telling us how it went!
 

Holzdweaver

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My little sis is Autistic, she was diagnosed at only 18 months old and didnt speak until she was 5. I took her up to see my horse when she was about 8, shes now 14 but at the time she wasnt as socially aware or at ease with new surroundings as she is now. She loved it though, she was totally fearless and seemed to pick things up very quickly. I had her riding round on her own in the school within a few hours of being up there, and she did a fab job of it! Id post pics, but dont want to tread on toes hehe :)

As long as your pony is quiet Id wait and see what he can cope with, with no pressure towards the wrong or right way for now, let him enjoy the experience and enjoy it yourself x
 

Crugeran Celt

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I would insist that the first time the child comes a parent comes with him. There are many levels of autism but you won't know what you are dealing with until the child arrives and I don't think that should be your responsibility.
 

Slightlyconfused

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Also beware he might want to touch everything as sometimes they need the sensory input to deal with a situation. It he could he the other way and have certain things, like slimy cumumber type stuff, that he really can't touch. We have looked after children with both.

And give him plenty of warn
Inch of what you are going to do, don't just spring it on him.
 

_GG_

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I am with Crugeran Celt.

If a 5 year old without Autism got scared, it would make matters ten times worse not having someone there that the child trusted. Depending on where this child is on the spectrum, that could be massively enhanced.

5 is young to expect any child to cope in a new situation with strangers and a few people he knows (but are not carers for him).

I love all of the suggestions and I think it is a wonderful thing to do, but personally, I would insist on a parent being there.

Not just because the child isn't your responsibility, but but because a parent is what that child will need most if things go wrong or get stressful.

Good luck and do tell us how you get on.
 

Shysmum

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I found that if the parent is there it distracts the child so much - they find it hard to concentrate on the parent AND the pony. We often had to ask parents to leave if the child was having a tantrum.

OP you need to play it by ear, take it very gently, and just see how the child reacts.
 

Toby_Zaphod

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I have 2 x 16h 2" horses & one in particular, altrhough he can be very loving, can be a bit bolshy & a handful. We were at a yard & I had him tied up outside the stable & I was doing something when a yound child, the child of a new livery who I'd never met, suddenly appeared & had his arms around my horses front leg & was hugging him. I was mortified & initially just wanted him away as I was sure my horse might hurt him. My horse just looked down at him & kind of nuzzled him & stood rock still while the child was there. It was as though the horse knew that this child was somehow different & he was alright with that. I moved the child away & took him back to his Mum. it was then his Mum told me he was autistic. The horse went back to being bolshy again.

I always thought horses had different senses to us & this encounter was quite wonderful. Let the child play with your pony but keep a watchful eye, you may find it lovely to see. :)
 

_GG_

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Shysmum. I understand that.completely...but this scenario sounds more like two very nice people that are not that confident with children doing this. The parent doesn't necessarily need to be right there with the child, but I do think, at least on the first visit that a parent or perhaps a grandparent (someone the child had total trust in) take the child and be available just in case it doesn't all go swimmingly.
 
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