Baby & Snow & Horse = Guilt

Hippophilia

Hippophilia

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Saskatchewan, Canada
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Not really expecting any answers here, just need to off-load a little. I had my first child in May and have been finding childcare and horses really difficult. My mare is out on grass livery so I don't need to check her every day but due to a combination of a teething sleepless baby, no childcare and terrible weather I have not been out to the yard in a week. It is a 30 min drive on a road which today (for example) is covered in blowing snow and described as 'critical' :(. My YO is fantastic and I know M has everything she needs (good rug, automatic drinker, shelter, a big round bale to stuff her face and buddies) but I still feel awful and neglectful. The summer was easier as my OH was at home and could either take care of mini-Hippo while I went to see M or we could do a family trip and she would enjoy seeing all the horses and sleep on the way back (massive bonus, that). Winter has been very hard and I really only get one or two chances in the week to get out and for the last few weeks those have been the days that terrible weather has blown in.
Anyhoo, bit of a pointless post but I just need a bit of reassurance that M won't be feeling abandoned and is probably quite happy doing eff-all. I think I feel worse about it all as M has been out of regular work for about a year now as I stopped riding when I was pregnant and when I got the go-ahead to ride again she got injured and took an age to come right, then winter got really bad and well, here we are. Both horribly unfit and spending all day eating...:o
 
I know exactly what you mean. Mine are on DIY, and although I have a friend who turns out for me in the morning (there's no way I can be organised enough in the morning with a toddler!) I still have to go up late afternoon to muck out, bring in, rug change and feed.

I need to take my toddler with me, and that's fine when the weather is half decent as he can potter around, but it's been so so cold that he is screaming and crying non stop while I'm busy. There is nothing I can do, occasionally I can find someone to watch him while I go to horses, but there aren't any other liveries where I am so I am the only one able to do horses.

It's not fair on him at all, all I can do is wrap him up warm, and if it's really bad I take a bag full of toys up with me and sit him in the tack room with the heater on, and hope he stays put long enough to let me get things done!

I know this post is no help whatsoever, but I just wanted to say I feel your pain, and I would much rather have a lovely YO who I trusted to keep my horse happy rather than drag my child up there in this weather :(

Roll on Spring!
 
I feel guilty too! I am going up every morning still, feeding and haying, they are out 24/7 but I work full time, and do the gym and hairdressing in the evenings, not been home before 8pm any night this week. after getting up at 6am! I'm working in a salon on a saturday and this sunday I have two cuts and colours today, at 2pm, so won't be done before it gets dark! so I have no time to do anything with the horses! I'll be spending the morning catching up on the poo picking i've not been able to do all week! :( Its really depressing at this time of year!

I also have a very hard to handle 2 yr old that I need to work with daily really, and not been able to do anything for a week and a half now :(
 
My poor son has had too do the horse twice a day pretty much every day since he was born. But he's 8 now, and doesn't really mind he sits in the car and plays on his ds (it's the only time he's allowed to play on games-good trick that one!) while I do the horse, ride, muck out etc. it does work and my lad comes along to everything will me, although he doesn't like horses, don't think he will have a horsey girlfriend when he's older though!
 
I hear your pain!!!!

Again have an amazing yo that will either turn out or check hay and water morning and night. I just have to go up daily muck out, sort all my hay nets etc. once I muck out I let little one - 2 year old help with haynets and water buckets but its so icy and skippy she is in pushchair the whole time and we have had tears after tears :(

Roll on warm weather or my mum to take early retirement!
 
I understand entirely why you wouldn't want to drive on dangerous roads in the snow op, & I'm sure your horse couldn't care less if its needs are met. But if you actually feel you would like to see & do more with the horse, then when its not snowing just take baby with you, rather than worrying about needing childcare.
 
I would have just had my daughter in the car while I popped up to be honest. Now I let her watch a DVD in the car when I need to do something she can't be involved in or the weather is horrible. Only allowed when car is stationary so the novelty doesn't wear off...
 
Have to say if I'd tried keeping my 2yr old in a buggy she would have spent the whole time screaming too. Just leave child loose, if its icy drag them behind on a sledge. Or stick them in a clean bedded down stable. But mainly just let them join in.
 
Littlelegs said:
Have to say if I'd tried keeping my 2yr old in a buggy she would have spent the whole time screaming too. Just leave child loose, if its icy drag them behind on a sledge. Or stick them in a clean bedded down stable. But mainly just let them join in.
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Yes agree mine wasn't in a buggy from about 1 when she started walking. Toys in car if its very cold or helping you if not.

The sooner you get them in a routine where you can get things done without them creating, the better (and this from someone who was trained by my baby to never put her down for her first 6 months :o)
 
Hi,

I'm sure your horse is happy being a horse and when you can ride again both of you can get fit together - riding is fab for the old pelvic-floor and will tighten up those muscles loosened though child-birth.

Whilst your little one is very little and happy to sleep/or sit happily in his/her pushchair/pram - make the most of it and take little one with you (i'm sure he/she will find the yard of interest :D ) - once they are older (and toddling) then you may have more problems and need the child care - use your car for feeds, sleeps and changes if need be for now.

xxx
 
Its hard work but gets easier from my experience. My 2 year old has always helped me do my horse, she has her own little fork for poo picking which we do daily and have invented i feel an ingenious way of poo picking! She helps make up horse feeds, attempts to carry hay out to the fields, loves cleaning buckets, sweeping etc Currently loving crunching in all the ice filled ruts and is kitted out in full ski wear - if she gets really cold i make her a hot chocolate in a mug she can hold to warm her hands up

It sometimes takes much longer but if she is happy and i still get to do my horse everyones a winner. In the grand scheme of life its such a short time when they are little and i think where there is a will there's a way hang on in there till the spring!!
 
Don't fret..been there too & being a mum equals guilt! When weathers a bit better you can maybe take small person along in pushchair..I cld do a heck of a lot of horsey jobs pushing my dtr round with me. The fresh air did her good & cos I kept moving she was happy / often fell asleep. Now she is 4 & incredibly active I try & hold her interest joining in some of the yard tasks..she loves to help making up feeds / rides in the wheelbarrow/she has her own little muck fork...today she was ecstatic when I dragged her out to the field in a builders sack..along with the hay for the horses!
 
Don't worry, you'll both be fine. It does get easier (eventually!) with children. And the snow you have is no doubt the real stuff, unlike the couple of inches that has brought UK to a halt - as usual! And, meant to say, you know horsey is being looked after, so bring on spring to enjoy her again!
 
Hippophilia said:
Not really expecting any answers here, just need to off-load a little. I had my first child in May and have been finding childcare and horses really difficult. My mare is out on grass livery so I don't need to check her every day but due to a combination of a teething sleepless baby, no childcare and terrible weather I have not been out to the yard in a week. It is a 30 min drive on a road which today (for example) is covered in blowing snow and described as 'critical' :(. My YO is fantastic and I know M has everything she needs (good rug, automatic drinker, shelter, a big round bale to stuff her face and buddies) but I still feel awful and neglectful. The summer was easier as my OH was at home and could either take care of mini-Hippo while I went to see M or we could do a family trip and she would enjoy seeing all the horses and sleep on the way back (massive bonus, that). Winter has been very hard and I really only get one or two chances in the week to get out and for the last few weeks those have been the days that terrible weather has blown in.
Anyhoo, bit of a pointless post but I just need a bit of reassurance that M won't be feeling abandoned and is probably quite happy doing eff-all. I think I feel worse about it all as M has been out of regular work for about a year now as I stopped riding when I was pregnant and when I got the go-ahead to ride again she got injured and took an age to come right, then winter got really bad and well, here we are. Both horribly unfit and spending all day eating...:o
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YO is worth weight in gold, don't beat yourself up over it we'd all love to be able to spend lots of time with our horses but the reality is if its dangerous to travel and you have a YO doing the basics then you protect yourself and your family. Your no good to your horse dead.

Roll on summer when a little more light in the day and a warmer day will be much nicer for you and babe to be bobbing about with your horse ;)
 
Thanks for all the replies, makes me feel a lot better :)
I would be happy to take the baby along with me to do chores but it really is too cold at -20 for the last few weeks with wind chills of -30. Remind me again why I moved here?!
 
Oh gosh I was about to say, when I had my last child I was running a livery yard and had horses on full livery so I either had the child in a pouch whilst I was mucking out, or in the pram. Business didn't stop just because I had a child. However I see you are in Saskatchewan. Makes a huge difference. No way can you subject a young child to temperatures as low as -30. So it sounds like you are doing all you can. Summer will be here in a few months, your child will be older by then and the freedom you will have will make up for you feeling a bit down now. Have to say, having children didn't stop me from getting on with doing what needs to be done but you do have a bit of an excuse!
 
Hippophilia said:
Thanks for all the replies, makes me feel a lot better :)
I would be happy to take the baby along with me to do chores but it really is too cold at -20 for the last few weeks with wind chills of -30. Remind me again why I moved here?!
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Oh did you just add your location, didn't see it before. That's a bit different then. Roll on the spring :). And meanwhile don't beat yourself up.
 
just wanted to say I really sympathise. Our babies are the same age ;) Ditto what someone else said, that 'this too will pass'. It's not forever and Spring is not far away now. By next winter your lo will be toddling about and by the winter after that he/she may well be going to a play group of some sort so you WILL get your time back. Hang in there.
 
Neither did I see your location..doesn't show up on my phone...but having lived in Canada for a few years I have some idea of what you're up against! Visit horsey when you can & have someone to look after baby but don't feel guilty in the meantime..his needs are met & you're priority is your babies needs...it will get easier..but enjoy what you have now..when you look back it will only seem a short time & its so precious!
 
It is hard when you have a baby but the summer will be a lot easier and by next winter your child will be up and walking and will enjoy going to see the horse with you. Don't despair it will get easier and you are really lucky to have such an understanding YO. :)
 
As long as your horse is being cared for daily by the YM then they'll be fine.

However, even a horse on grass livery needs to be seen every day.............
 
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