Back after 10yrs away, really nervous!

[horzezagain]

Hey all,

First time poster, where better to seek advice?
Just got back into riding after 10 years away (scary moment back then, horse tried to rear up).

I used love it, and spent years although now I just can't seem to get around the nerves! Can barely even lead the poor things back into the stables.
The horses are picking up on it too, which is kind of compounding things really.
After about half an hour they get pretty fed up of this nervous load on their back (and then we almost had another rearing up moment).

Any advice???
Thanks x

 

[Echo24]

Have you gone back to a riding school to have lessons? Probably the best thing to do to get your confidence back, and the horses will be used to nervous people and remain relatively calm and placid

A friend had a horrible accident where her horse fell on top of her whilst she was hacking and she completely lost her nerve. For her, the best thing she found was getting back to the yard and being around horses to build up her confidence. Maybe offer to help groom and muck out at a local riding school until you feel more confidence before venturing back in the saddle.

 

[Keen]

^^^ good adive - if you can find a pony who will tolerate cuddles and grooming, maybe jsut spend time with them, hang around the stable etc.

Good luck - you'll soon regain confidence and wonder what you were worried about!

 

[Archiepoo]

you could try some rescue remedy that really helps with nerves

 

[Pippity]

I was in a similar situation (broke my back in a bad fall; my first time on a horse afterwards, I fell off and broke my hand/wrist; gave up for a decade or so). I made a couple of attempts over the years to start up again, mostly by riding friends' horses, and spent most of my time hunched nervously over the pommel, waiting for the horse to explode. I had one riding lesson but the instructor was a shrill, panicky sort and just made it worse.

When I decided I was damn well GOING to get over this fear, I looked around a couple of local riding schools, and settled on the one with the best reputation. I explained when I booked my first lesson what the situation was, and my instructor was really good about it. The horse I rode for the first few lessons is one of those, 'I will only move out of a slow amble if you REALLY force me' ones, which helped!

I'm still riding the not-at-all-difficult horses, but I'm cantering and working up to jumping again. My instructor pushes me gently but listens when I say I'm not comfortable doing something.

Thinking about it, she trains me like she trains her horses! Pushes me *slightly* beyond my comfort zone, then lets me come back to where I feel safe and confident, and each time I ride, my comfort zone is slightly further on. She's also teaching me to be a far better rider than I was before (I learned by hoolying around on ponies) so I'm feeling far more in control of the horse and far more secure.

So, really, for me, it's been down to finding a good instructor, with a selection of solid, patient, unimaginative horses for me to ride. I'm sure that if you post with your location, people here will be able to suggest a good riding school in your area.

 

[TrasaM]

Welcome back to riding HorZezegin how many lessons have you had so far?

I took up riding in June 2011 aged 52. I was more anxious about looking stupid and getting it wrong than I was about falling off. It took me 14 months to fall off. The mare I was on tripped and activated the ejector seat and I ended up with a broken collarbone which had to be pinned. I've got over that but now wear a body protector, just in case

My first year I had weekly or twice weekly lessons and the horses were always tacked up and ready to go and then whisked away afterwards. I then made friend's with a couple of horse owners and started to hack out with them. At this point I was quite comfy with my ability to ride but was really nervous about handling horses on the ground and had never tacked up or groomed before. The horses sensed that I was a bit wary and took advantage of it so I had to man up pretty quickly. I must be getting braver as i stood in front of the TB who was trying to get into the yard yesterday and refused to give way to him A year ago I'd have climbed up on the fence to get out of his way

I think I deal with the whole nerves thing by blocking out thoughts of what might happen when things go wrong. This coupled with trying really hard to improve my riding so that my learned responses to issues that might arise are as good as possible.

I think that as your riding improves your confidence will come back. Practice with your breathing whilst riding and also learning to relax you muscles both on the horse and off. It's not always our state of mind they pick up on it's the changes in our body that the fear or anxiety triggers.
If you can or have access to horses outside of RS get comfortable handling and grooming them and this will also help rebuild your trust and courage.
And above all ...Enjoy.

 

[horzezagain]

Hey all,

Thanks so much. Yes I've started lessons again, only three so far but I feel as if I'm going backward. The first lesson was when I seemed to do best so far.
The horses and ponies in the school are lovely, and yes Pippity I bloody well will get over these nerves!
Isn't it awful how we become so over cautious after years away? The yard doesn't allow those who don't work there to groom (think they had problems with somebody before).
This week wasn't too bad, although balance is an issue again, ugh!
Archiepoo, I considered something stronger than Rescue Remedy on my first week

 

[Tarbs]

I was the same (still am nervous riding). After a no riding period of over twenty years I started having lessons again. I also put an ad on preloved asking if anyone needed help in exchange for some groundwork experience and I ended up meeting a new friend too! Helping turn out, groom, lead etc helped massively.
Have got my own horse now and even though he can't be ridden at the moment, I love every minute of having him!

 

[horzezagain]

ps TrasaM, ejector seat! Ha, great, same production line as the horses with springs in their hooves?

 

[TrasaM]

ps TrasaM, ejector seat! Ha, great, same production line as the horses with springs in their hooves?

My pride hurt almost as much as my shoulder.. one second we were about to start a dressage practice the next I was airborne. And we were just trotting And on a tiny pony! Very embarrassing I'm sticking to the bigger ones in future, there's more to grab hold of.

 

[pudz02]

Hi,
Lovely to hear your back in the saddle!
Do you wear a body protector when you ride? I never used to own one and went on a farm ride with my old loan mare and some friends, friends were all in body protectors and i suddenly felt very vunerable! as soon as i bought myself one i felt instantly better!
Obviously it wont work the same for everyone but it might be an idea, it also makes me sit up lovely and straight as its like wearing a brace hehe!!!

Im also a nervous nelly mainly when it comes to jumping but you'll get there!
In a years time you wont know what you were worrying about!!!

 

[horzezagain]

pudz02 thanks!
Yes definitely! I bought a brand new hat and body protector straight away, I'd be too wary of riding without it. I feared I'd be the only one at lessons with a BP, however when I got there they all had them.

Thanks so much, love that I'm back really!

 

[Pippity]

A quick thought - are you having private lessons or group?

I had a group lesson after a couple of months back (an hour of being on a horse, for the same price as half an hour? Bargain!) but found that it was a really bad experience. With the private lessons, the instructor's focused entirely on me, and we do what's best for my riding on that particular horse. With the group lesson, I felt I was being bundled along for the benefit of other people. It might have been twice as much horse time, but it was far less productive.

Another advantage of the private lesson - fewer people to laugh at my terrible riding! One day, I will master the art of keeping my arse in the saddle when I canter. I'm sure I shouldn't be able to sit better at trot than at canter.

(Also, my riding school didn't let me do anything other than ride the horse for the first few lessons, but I'm now trusted to tack/untack/brush down/rug up, after being supervised the first time. You may find it's the same with yours.)

 

[pudz02]

pudz02 thanks!
Yes definitely! I bought a brand new hat and body protector straight away, I'd be too wary of riding without it. I feared I'd be the only one at lessons with a BP, however when I got there they all had them.

Thanks so much, love that I'm back really!

Well you sound very positive, its all about attitude, you know your capable of doing all these things as you've done them before so try to tell yourself you can do it!!
I read somewhere once that if you envisage how your day/ride is going to go it usually will go to plan (obviously not always!!) i.e dont go to sleep the night before your lesson thinking what if this happens what if i do that.... think about how good it would feel if you managed to do the things you'd planned to do. I do it before dressage test or loading (she doesnt like loading lol) etc and it really helps me.
No matter what anyone says we all get nervous so its only natural, take things slow and enjoy your time with the horses

 

[Scaty_Bird]

Combination of making myself ride diffferent (calm!) horses, time and right instructors helped me. Think baby steps and be positive about all the good things you've done - one week you may have a little trot, then a longer trot and before you know it you'll be wanting to do more. I had to push myself out of my comfort zones and just remind myself that I could do it! I now love a good gallop when out hacking!

P.s. with the rearing - if your nervous watch that your not gripping up, over shortening your reins and putting too much pressure down your reins as you might be making the horse walk back/feel nervous.

All the best, keep going - you'll get there x

 

[Oberon]

Hey all,

Thanks so much. Yes I've started lessons again, only three so far but I feel as if I'm going backward. The first lesson was when I seemed to do best so far.
The horses and ponies in the school are lovely, and yes Pippity I bloody well will get over these nerves!
Isn't it awful how we become so over cautious after years away? The yard doesn't allow those who don't work there to groom (think they had problems with somebody before).
This week wasn't too bad, although balance is an issue again, ugh!
Archiepoo, I considered something stronger than Rescue Remedy on my first week

You have been away for ten years after leaving things on a bad note.

You are riding horses you don't know.

Be fair to yourself and don't expect to be Pippa Funnel after 3 lessons

You need to give yourself some time and then be able to trust the horses you are interacting with. Then you will begin to relax and start enjoying yourself.

Just remember to focus on breathing and let things happen in time.

I had 5 years off when my son was young and I was too poor to keep Obi - I had to put him on loan.

When I got him back I was barely able to put a headcollar on without my hands messing things up

 

[labruyere]

have been searching for some time for a method which would help my riding clients to overcome their 'memory based' nerves...

btw I agree with much of what has been said about lessons - private sessions with an empathetic trainer who encourages you and understands just how far (and when) to push you out of the comfort zone, plus has suitable horses that will rebuild your confidence
also TOTALLY in agreement that turning up to a tacked horse and leaving a tacked horse is NOT how people should be introduced to riding - my clients are shown how to groom day 1 and gradually trained on to catching, hoof picking, tacking and un tacking - even the 4 year olds (people not horses that is!!)

but with regard to major wobbles, having looked into various techniques I have now found one that actually WORKS

the technique interested me as it is used very successfully on Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) cases...

as I won't use anything I haven't tested on myself first, I gave it a go, and despite not having jumped for a couple of months, instantly put 4 inches on my SJ

I used a cut down version as a quick test on a couple of clients this weekend (one on lunge and another starting canter work)
and was totally wowed by the 'instant' results - as were they...

I am currently putting together details for distribution via my training newsletter - available via either of the links below...
.