Bad fall XC ... need help

[Bubblegum]

I watched my daughter and horse suffer a bad fall XC recently. It was not nice. It really scared me.
She went XC on her little pony at the weekend at a local low key event, and I literally shook and had tears in my eyes the whole time she was riding.
She is not nearly so shaken by this as me. I have booked her in for a XC lesson with a BE trainer at a BE course on Thursday.
But I feel lost..... daughter and I really love our XC riding.
I do hope this feeling will pass.
Does anyone have any experience of this? I would appreciate any constructive opinions..... thank you.

 

[carthorse]

You poor thing , I remember when my daughter was young the feeling of helplessness and relief as she went round.
I am sure the BE trainer will help but you are going to have to be brave

 

[TiaPony]

You have to remember that falls are part of riding - especially when we are younger. Take the positives from the situation: 1) She is physically and mentally fine 2) She will know how to deal with the situation should it ever arise again

 

[Jade2007]

I can't really help because being 13 years old I don't have that kind of experience

But my mum was like that when I first jumped at Towerlands, even my Dad was - in the video you can see that his hand was shaking

.

Very sorry to hear about the fall, but atleast she's not too shaken by it and not hurt.

Unfortunatly, these thigns happen with horses. I assume you will get used to it the more she goes out competing, otherwise my mother would have had a heart attack by now!

The trainer will help, and be brave and have faith in her & the pony! It will not always go badly, trust me.

x

 

[sueandtoto]

I know how you feel

, I hate watching my daughter go round , especially when they dissapear through woods etc , but if your daughter is happy doing it and enjoys it then let her do it and try and be brave and not let her see that you are worried , good idea about the lessons , that will help you both

 

[Bubblegum]

Thank you THE_c .. I am trying to be brave!!!!
Lady T... she is fine... horse is very battered after spending 10minutes trapped under fence.... but he is on the mend.... it was a rotational fall and I hope she never has to deal with it again!!!! I couldn't see that she approached the fence wrongly... horse just missed... and head first over fence.
Jade-R... you are very wise... my daughter is 14... so not much older than you. Thank you for your kind words.
sueandtoto... you really do understand! She is happy to keep going... she was just up to PN level... this is much more about me than her... I hope I can get over it! I thought by letting her have an easy ride on her little MGA pony at the weekend I would be fine... but I was still very scared!!!! I am being a wimp!!!
Must try harder!!!!

 

[rara007]

I sympathise with how you feel, I am only young

, but I hate watching my Dad, with what feel like my ponies go round driving XC. I am pretty sure with time you will find it less nerve wracking. Your much braver than my mum- she won't let me do and jumping atall with her watching, not even 2 foot SJ clear round!

 

[TiaPony]

I suffered a rotational fall earlier this year - luckily no horse got stuck but still a horrific experience. Bigs hugs to you, horse and daughter!

 

[Bubblegum]

Thank you Rara... I know that we parents should 'set you youngsters free' ... but it's harder than it may seem!
Anyway... you have achieved so much in your young life..you are a star in your own right!!!!

 

[SpottedCat]

I think TFT (for you!) could really help with this - have a look at www.jo-cooper.com

Jo is lovely and will be very understanding, it is well worth a go.

I am glad your daughter and her horse are ok - better in some ways that it's only your nerves shot to bits not hers!

 

[Bubblegum]

Thanks Lady T. Scary isn't it?
So glad that you are both ok..... Good Luck at your event. xx

 

[TiaPony]

Oh terrifying

. Thankyou

 

[Bubblegum]

I agree. It is better that its me.. not her. She seems fine about it. But I hope the lessons will reassure me that she is riding safely... as I think she is...but I need to be sure.
I have looked at website briefly. Thank you. I will read it all later.
That is exactly the sort of help I hoped I may be able to get if I was brave enough to post this subject on this forum. Thank you.

 

[Rosiefan]

Think you may have turned the corner by being able to talk about it on here. Your daughter has moved on and so will you. I truly believe this, honest

 

[Thistle]

No help really, but it would be a nightmare for me too. Have you tried rescue remedy (or a large gin and tonic!) for yourself. can you stand with a friend whilst your daughter rides?

 

[Bubblegum]

Thanks. Thats kind. You understand. xx

 

[Bubblegum]

I hoped you would read my post, Thistle. I wondered if you had had experience of anything like this.... Yes, my husband is going to come with us next event. I think I may need a bit of moral support! I really don't want to make a big fuss in front of my daughter... I know that would be wrong.
But I have had a real wobbly over this.
I agree... lots of extra help for a few times will be a good idea. Thanks.

 

[HammieHamlet]

Im in my 20's, but still to this day my mum cannot watch me go XC (im only at PN level) - she just finds it too nerve wracking. My dad on the other hand doesnt seem to care at all, and just enjoys it without worrying about the 'what ifs'....

Ive given up on asking my mum to come to events - before reading this post I thought it may be just because she would rather do other things, but now I realise that she may actually be telling the truth about finding it too scary

The compromise that we have come to is for my dad to video it, then she can watch at home knowing that im still in one piece!!

 

[Bubblegum]

LOL... she IS telling the truth. You never stop being a mum... I have a 21 and 20 year old too... and worry about them far too much!
You are lucky to have a supportive Mum & Dad.
I just need to get my husband handy with the camcorder and head for the beer tent at the appropriate time I think!!!
Seriously, though, I do hope I can get over this.....

 

[jellybaby]

My Mum used to hide herself away in the lorry, tidying and cleaning whilst I went XC - the only time she actually watched, she had been bribed with wine by my trainer - she watched me at my first JRN and she pooped herself the whole time I was on course - I think its just a mother thing TBH!

So, I'd suggest wine!!

JB xx

 

[kirstyhen]

My mother never seems to worry, my Dad on the other hand feels very sick when I go XC, and I don't do over 3ft!!

I think my Mum just decided a long time ago that this is what I was happiest doing, and she would rather something happened whilst I was happy, than crossing the road etc. I know she wasn't always like that, my horse dumped me the first time I tried him, and my mum didn't want me to go and try him a second time.

Sorry not a lot of help, but I don't think you would be a parent without feeling some digree of nerves, even parents that say they don't must feel something!

 

[Thistle]

BG, where are you next few events, if I am there and not busy I will happily come and natter at you whilst she is XC.

B has had one bad fall but luckily i didn't see it. She was at PC camp warming up for dressage (terrible dangerous sport that it is!) when W slipped on wet ground (B was 11 and couldn't do studs) and apparently went right over trapping B underneath, looking at the state of B's jacket most of her was squished. B was adamant she wasn't hurt and remounted after her and W were checked over. She rode the test and then did 1m SJ course. I arrived after lunch to jump judge XC and was told she was fallen. B admitted to me it did hurt and I had a poke around - her collar bone was completely snapped and was at a funny angle! She decided not to go XC and I took her to a&e. It was the day of the Robbie Williams concert at Knebworth and couldn't get into nearest hospital as everything was gridlocked, so has to go further afield.

Now I know she is a very tough kid and never believe her when she says she is ok - it makes me worry more.
I have every faith in W pony to keep her safe, after a 5 year partnership they know each other inside out, W is very sensible with a silly streak to make her fun. I still hold my breath when she goes XC on F but it's getting better. F also has a brain and a 5th leg.

 

[Bubblegum]

Crikey! B is tough isn't she....and brave too. Poor girl - that sounds mighty painful to me!
Thanks for your offer of help. I appreciate that. The events we were looking at to finish the season are Burnham Market, Keysoe, Oasby & Holdenby, all PN. It is a shame but we are away for Lt Downham. I haven't entered any yet as I thought I would wait to see what Tina advises tomorrow after the lesson. So I will be in touch.
Thanks again.

In fact... Thanks to everyone who has replied. It means a lot to know how much people care. This forum is just great!!

 

[Thistle]

It's quite likely that we shall be at most of those events too, probably at Nov though. Tina will help lots. B is away on geog field trip for Downham too.

 

[little_pink_piggies]

I had a really bad fall xc at Berrington a few weeks ago (if you look at previous posts i posted the sequence). I went XC schooling once, then went back to do another event of the same level so not to make a "big deal of it", however I did take it steady xc and rode lines where the ground was best etc. I had a silly stop and tons of time, bt i stayed vertical and it gave me so much confidence, I was in pieces before i went! I think I did the right thing going back at the same height as my fall was nothing to do with the height of the fences, and had I done a smaller class it would have psychologically implied to me that it was, and then stepping back up to novice would have been a much bigger deal than it was! If that makes sense? Alot of schooling helps get confidence back, and like I say not making a "big deal" of it, no matter how much it rattled you deep down, I don't know I may be wrong but i feel thats what worked for me

good luck, I'm sure she'll be fine, and if it was a fluke accident, lightening doesn't strike twice in the same place, it's all I kept telling myself!!

 

[henryhorn]

I saw my daughter and horse have a bad fall last year, and didn't move until I saw both stand up.
I'm probably calmer than most due to years of teaching, the format always was if they are screaming loudly they tend to be not seriously hurt, if they're still and don't move, run..
The majority of falls are one offs, and unlikley to happen again, the secret of course is to make sure your daughter isn't over faced by height or pony, and get her as much XC help as possible.
The BE trainers are great, down to earth and very knowledgeable. Exlain the problems then go and stand out of sight of your daughter, hide behind a tree!
I can't keep still when mine is riding, I leap about muttering instructions and swearing under my breath, but I never do it where she can see me..
It will pass but until it does, don't let your daughter see your worries, it isn't fair on her.