Balancing horses and toddlers

[Cutgrass]

Has anyone else felt like horses are too much while they've been looking after toddlers?

I've had a share since last summer but it's 4 days per week and I'm struggling to manage the share, my older daughter and 30 hours of work per week. The toddler feels like the straw that's breaking the camel's back. The family we have nearby can't help with childcare atm due to the virus. She used to sit happily in a pushchair at the yard but there's no chance of that now, so I'm ending up squeezing my time into a dark hour here and there before/after work, and barely riding. I know that the owner wouldn't be happy with me reducing the number of days per week so I'm thinking of handing in my notice and just riding at a RS for the next year or two until the little one is more independent. I just feel like a bit of a wimp as I know people out there with two or three little ones who are happily horsing on!

 

[HeyMich]

Unfortunately, you aren't Superwoman and can't do everything. Kids, especially when they're young take a lot of your time and attention, and rightly so - they're only young for a tiny time - I know it's a cliche but it's true! My kids are now older, and we can go out on adventures with the horses/ponies together, but there was no way I could have expected that when they were really wee. Give yourself a break, you aren't invincible! I know you may feel like horses are your downtime, but if the arrangement is too stressful or it turns into an obligation and not a joy (the owners being so unmovable would stress me!), then it might be better to leave it for now and find another share when the kids are older. You need a relaxing, enjoyable way of de-stressing right now, not another chore.

 

[CanteringCarrot]

Logistically I have no idea how anyone manages a toddler, works 40 hours a week, and rides regularly. I couldn't do it. Especially because we have no family to aid with childcare and OH often works 50 hour weeks. No idea how people with multiple kids (younger kids) just horse on.

I think going to a RS for a lesson on a set day and time would be easier. Still get a wee bit of horse time to keep with it, and more time for your toddler.

You're not a wimp, you're just being practical. You only have so much energy and hours in the day.

 

[Joeyjojo]

I have managed a two/three horses and small children but a) I have horses at home so I can fit them in as and when I have time plus I get to dictate the routine so I can make it as easy for myself as possible b) I don't work. Even then it's still really hard. One thing I would say though is you've just struggled through the worst time of year for horses. Soon the clocks will change, it will be light in the evening for riding after work and horses will seem way more appealing. I'd give it a few more weeks before making a decision. I've often questioned my commitment to horses at this time of year, but a few weeks can make all the difference and with a bit of sunshine everything can seem manageable again.

 

[tatty_v]

I completely agree with @Joeyjojo - I’m currently juggling a toddler plus work and two horses, but they are at home and I can work my timings accordingly. It’s still really tough though! I would give yourself a couple more weeks as spring is coming, it’s getting lighter and the workload eases. If you’re still finding it tough then there’s no shame in just riding once a week in a lesson - remember, at the end of the day we do this for fun!

 

[Cortez]

Here's what you need:

Seriously though, don't beat yourself up; I cannot imagine juggling work/horses/child.

 

[Nudibranch]

You can't do everything. I have 2 horses but at home and one isn't ridden. I dropped to part time work when I had a baby. And the ridden horse is ridden when I can fit it in. Sometimes more, sometimes less. She lives out 24/7 so she doesn't care. When I was pregnant or with a new baby I didn't ride at all. Just did the care side.
I wasnt prepared to sit my toddler in a pushchair while I rode so I fitted it in around childcare (ie OH). They're only little for a very short time and their welfare and development trumps riding a horse.

 

[Not_so_brave_anymore]

It's really hard! I don't understand how other people make it look so easy. I have one pony at home for my older kids, and it was fantastic last year when the big kids were off school and the little one would still nap 2hrs at lunchtime. But now she's 2.5 and doesn't nap any more, but she's still a total liability around the pony and I can't really take my eye off her for a second ?

 

[spookypony]

Since you're working nearly full-time...what about the toddler's dad? Can he take care of his daughter during that time? If that's not possible for some reason (and there might be many), a yard I was at had a type of "baby jail" (a big fenced-off playpen with toys in), since there were several people with toddlers. That seemed to work ok.