Beaconhorse in hospital

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Pidge

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I know this shouldn't really be here but more people come in here.
After Dee went hunting last weekend, she has been in hospital since Monday because it wasn't a chest infection she had it was a blood clot on the lung! She is chirpy but bored so could do with some cheering up please? Am going to see her again at the weekend so if you have any jokes or stories or just want to wish her well reply to this post and I'll print them off for her. She may have to have an operation but will find out more tomorrow.
 
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Super_Kat

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Meep, poor BH
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Theres jokes all over the soapbox which she'll love!
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Heres hoping for a speedy recovery and I hope she doesn't get too bored laying there
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Weezy

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EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!!!!!! And I took the piss a bit too Whoooops!!

Hope she gets better speedily - its sooo boring being stuck in hospita

Give her my love xxxxx
 
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truffles

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EEK really hope she is back on form asap!! Agre with Super_Kat, the jokes in the soapbox are DEFINFATELY pootersprayers.
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I hope you have the speediest of recoveries!
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xx
 
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Pidge

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Will do, have took her lots of horse mags tonight, she has to be wheeled everywhere (even the loo) to minimise the chance of the clot moving. Can't believe how chirpy she is given the seriousness of it. She's missing Beacon like mad, luckily her sister is looking after him for her.
 
Hornby

Hornby

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Blimey! I thought she was tough to be hunting sounding so bad but I hope they are now able to get her better. Tell her she is not missing anything here!
 
Alibear

Alibear

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eeek blimey. can you pass on best wishes from me please?

Hope she makes a swift and complete recovery and that the nurses are being nice to her.
 
SirenaXVI

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OK here we go - sorry best I can do on short notice
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A couple is lying in bed. The man says,

"I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world."

The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."
-----------------------------------------------------------

"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"

"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.
-----------------------------------------------------------


He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight?

She said - That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart.
-----------------------------------------------------------


Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?

A: A rumor
-----------------------------------------------------------

A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish.

The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.


Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.

The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger...

Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!!

Gotta love that fairy!
-----------------------------------------------------------


Dear Lord,

I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.

AMEN

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Q: Why do little boys whine?

A: They are practicing to be men.
-----------------------------------------------------------

Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?

A: Trustworthy.
-----------------------------------------------------------

Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?

A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
-----------------------------------------------------------

Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?

A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe.
-----------------------------------------------------------

Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?

A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"
--------------------------------------------------------
 
P

Pidge

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cool jokes thanks Sirena!
Thanks everyone for the messages will print them off and take them up to Dee tomorrow.
 
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guisbrogal

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Poor thing. Hope she is feeling better very soon.

Echo the advice about listening to the Drs with this one. It is not something to be messed with.

Some jokes....albeit not very good ones!
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As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."

She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"

A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".
------------
A champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a new horse. The horse's trainer meets him before the race and says, ''All you have to remember with this horse is that every time you approach a jump, you have to shout, 'ALLLLEEE OOOP!' really loudly in the horse's ear. Providing you do that, you'll be fine.''

The jockey thinks the trainer is mad but promises to shout the command. The race begins and they approach the first hurdle. The jockey ignores the trainer's ridiculous advice and the horse crashes straight through the center of the jump.

They carry on and approach the second hurdle. The jockey, somewhat embarrassed, whispers 'Aleeee ooop' in the horse's ear. The same thing happens--the horse crashes straight through the center of the jump.

At the third hurdle, the jockey thinks, ''It's no good, I'll have to do it,'' and yells, ''ALLLEEE OOOP!'' really loudly. Sure enough, the horse sails over the jump with no problems. This continues for the rest of the race, but due to the earlier problems the horse only finishes third.

The trainer is fuming and asks the jockey what went wrong. The jockey replies, ''Nothing is wrong with me--it's this bloody horse. What is he--deaf or something?''

The trainer replies, ''Deaf?? DEAF?? He's not deaf--he's BLIND!''



I did warn you they were bad!
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beaconhorse

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Thank you everyone!! your well wishes worked and I am home and riding already
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Can't believe it myself when Dr said I could do what ever I like
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Just have to convince dad to let me go SJ on Sunday
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dad being a dad is so over protective bless him
 
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