Bit of a dilemma, right horse wrong time!

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1abs

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Sitting here tonight racking my brains....

Been horseless for around 16 months now, decided to take a short break from owning/loaning. Fast forward to now I am desperate to have a horse of my own back in my life, have not been actively looking, until purely through Facebook a random for sale ad on one of our local equine pages caught my eye. Picture of said horse was only a head shot, nothing special but it just jumped out at me, sounding totally melodramatic but something inside me just knew he was the one. So out of interest I messaged the seller.

Next thing we've arranged a viewing...went to see him, took him in the school and hacked him out, on paper he is absolutely perfect, a bit overweight and unfit, but a lovely nature. I've owned several horses in the past and don't remember feeling this way about him.

He is in my price range, lives out, very low maintenance and generally a lovely horse.

But...my personal situation is that I have 2 young children,one 4 months and the other a 3 year old. I am also in the middle or purchasing a house. The children's father and I had a very traumatic split beginning of this year, last year I was also seriously ill, so generally had a #### time and am only now rebuilding my life. Do I go for this horse or is it the complete wrong time to be even contemplating it?

Just needed to bounce my ideas off and look forward to the opinions of HHO!
 
Sorry to hear you've had a rough time. I guess it comes down to a couple of things:
Do you have the finances to support a horse?
Do you have a support network around you which will give you enough time to spend with a new horse or might it be easier once the children are a bit older?

I know how hard it is with young children (well, child in my case) but I've been lucky to have support in place to allow me to continue with my horse. Not always able to spend as much time as I would ideally like with my horse and I've sacrificed the amount of competing we do but I have been able to make it work.

Good luck with whatever you decide.
x
 
Cazzah said:
Sorry to hear you've had a rough time. I guess it comes down to a couple of things:
Do you have the finances to support a horse?
Do you have a support network around you which will give you enough time to spend with a new horse or might it be easier once the children are a bit older?

I've been doing calculations over and over and am pretty pretty certain I can make this work, I am since with a new partner (knew him well before we got together - he was the one who encouraged me to view the horse) and came with me for moral support. Daughter attends nursery twice a week, sees her dad at weekends and family help occasionally.

Competing is likely to be a no no at the moment, due to time. Luckily he is the kind of horse that will not require daily riding to keep him sane so if he's not worked everyday it won't matter.

I suppose the only thing which would affect my decision is my parents. They've supported me a lot over the past year, unfortunately with me having to fork out several thousands in legal fees against my ex they gave me money to 'top up' my house deposit. I have also been able to save hard and add to my growing savings - but would me going and spending let's say a couple of thousand on a horse be a bit disrespectful to them? Because of how they are they would just tell me not to go ahead ( they are not horsey at all), I kind of feel like a child but I'm a grown adult and am giving this a lot of thought
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I would go for it. After having a rubbish time of it this may be just the thing to help you get some confidence etc back. Maybe have a chat with your parents and see what they say?? Xx
 
If I were in your shoes I would be talking it through with my parents first as I would hate for them to think I was taking the pee by buying a horse after all the support they'd given me. I'd also be offering to pay them back either with the money you were using for the horse or in installments.

For all you know they might think a horse is a great idea after how rubbish that last year has been for you but you won't know until you speak to them about it.
 
Go for it, I have an 11 year old and an 8 month old and I have recently got my horse back after selling him due to a traumatic divorce 3 years ago, I sold him as I thought I couldn't cope, biggest regret ever, spend 3 years chasing him around the country and now finally had the opportunity to get him back, grabbed it with both hands. Wasn't great timing, I'm only a part time groom so money is tight but my partner agreed that he thinks its good to have a hobby, bit of escapism, but I had to fund it as he pays all the bills, we had just moved to a new area and baby was only 7 months but I brought a back pack carrier for the baby and every morning I pack the big boy off to school, load the baby up and off we go up the field, its great, baby LOVES it and so do I. The big boy helps me poo pick in the evenings and at weekends I get to ride and have some me and horse time. lots of fresh air for you and kids, cant go wrong. Go for it :) xx
 
GG2B said:
If I were in your shoes I would be talking it through with my parents first as I would hate for them to think I was taking the pee by buying a horse after all the support they'd given me. I'd also be offering to pay them back either with the money you were using for the horse or in installments.

For all you know they might think a horse is a great idea after how rubbish that last year has been for you but you won't know until you speak to them about it.
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Absolutely agree with this. They may think it's a great idea but you must talk it through with them first. After all, you don't want them resenting the horse as you may need them to take care of your children occasionally so that you can take care of the horse.
 
Thanks for all your replies.

As an update I spoke to my father today about the situation and his thoughts on whether I should buy the horse or not, was totally open about it and voiced my concerns on whether it would be disrespectful to them considering they had given me money to top up my house deposit. I told him that if he didn't agree then I wouldn't do it, as I'm close to my dad and respect his opinions... And he said to go for it and make an offer! To the point he then offered to pay half of the asking price - which I flatly refused on the basis that im doing this off my own back and hes helped me enough all my life.

I was humbled enough by the fact that the money they previously gave me they do not want back, as in their words it's a home for their grandchildren. And with all the trauma of the past year to see it as a'reward' for getting through it all. Really humbled.

So had better get livery yard hunting!
 
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