Bit of a rant...! Most annoying woman ever

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Troyseph

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Recently moved to a new yard closer to home...
There is the most annoying woman there ever and I'm not kidding lol
she owns moorland type ponies, they're just ornaments really. Not backed or anything. She is about 50 and has way too much time on her hands!

A few examples!

Were up the yard poo picking our field...she comes over to talk...first question y your horses eating hard feed?! They don't need it...plenty of grass in here! (there is not much grass at all IMO) my response. "he's a wb x and he doesn't keep weight on well and the welshie (sec b) is having a little chaff so she's not left out..." "oh right" then I mention about needing hay "u don't wanna be buying hay for at least 3 months there's plenty grass in here" at this point I'm getting so annoyed lol.

Now, there is 3 of us in the field. She is talking to me and 1 other and my friend is about 10 metres away with the wheelbarrow poo picking... Ignoring the woman as she has no time of day for her...

Woman begins to talk about she the owner of the welshie, and starts to bitch saying she had to give up her precious field so the welshie could go in there ...

My friend heears this and says u mean me? The woman goes no the owner of the welshie., my friend goes that's me!!!the woman looks embarrassed b says sorry didn't recognise u with ur hair down!!?!

Next thing "your welsh ain't very friendly is it? Friend says no, she not keen on strangers. Wman says "well I can't get close to her to check her over n check her feet for stones etc it's not very good..." my friend at this point trying to bite her Tongue was like you don't need to check her I'm here twice a day thank u....

Woman ignores her carries on about how we must get over a gate lmao...

Sorry I'm waffling now. I'm so pissy because my coloured is stupidly friendly...:( to anyone, I don't like the fact she's checking on them and checking their feet etc, she's just a livery with too much time.....!!!

Would u complain to the yard owners?...xx
 
No I wouldn't complain to the yard owners. I would take the lady to one side and explain that, while it was interesting to hear her views on horse care I wanted to make it completely clear from the start that under no circumstances did I want her to check my horse in any way. And that I was categorically telling her to leave my horse's feet alone.
I'd do that if I was 100% certain that there would never be a day in deepest, darkest winter when my car would let me down and I'd have trouble getting to the yard and need this lady to throw out some hay, make sure my horse was OK and maybe cart some water for him to drink.
She sounds like a pain, but harmless.
 
TBH i think you will find a person like her at most yards. i think its quite nice that she checks your horses for you, i think thats really lovely :) if she annoys you that much id just let it all go in one ear and out the other.
 
Have to agree with you OP this would annoy me immensely. Not only that but what if this woman was hurt by one of your horses? Horses that she hasn't asked permission to touch.

If she wants to check them I would tell her to feel free to have a look at them from outside the field and get in touch with you if anything is wrong
 
I can understand your frustrations but at the end of the day she is only trying to help. You say you've only moved to this new yard recently so you need to give her a chance. You might find that as time progresses, that you like her and if you get to know each other better then you may be able to go to her for help and vice versa.

At my old yard, there use to be an elderly lady who use to talk and talk and talk and she did really annoy me at first but once I had settled in and actually started listening to her, she gave me some really sound bits of advice and helped me out when I couldn't get to the yard.
 
Im all for horses being checked as much as poss. It's just the constant questioning more than anything!

Why are u putting a rug on
Why are u hard feeding
Why this why that.

I also mentioned I might be looking for a part sharer for winter, she asked now much I said umm £10 she was like what! That is far too expensive u only pay £10 a week livery, I told the yard owners to charge u newcomers more money!!!"

...cheek !!!

I then replied"it's not just livery like your ponies! It's livery, hard feed, farrier, insurance, my insurance is around 45 pound per month alone. She just ignored me when I told her that!

Tiny pony the yard is so close I can see it out my back window...xx
 
If you don't want your horse checked by anyone else just say so. Politely. To the other livery and your YO.

TBH though it just sounds like a well-meaning person who you don't take to.

Keep that in mind!
 
at our yard which we've been at 10 years, the farmer does charge new people more then we pay. too right lol! She sounds like the no fuss type. leave her to it, it obviously works for her and her horses. sometimes the 'older' generation have the best advice.. prehaps if you listened you might learn something from her :)
 
She's probably lonely and doesn't realise she is being a nuisance.

It's probably best to ignore her or try to tell her diplomatically that you don't need her advice. I wouldn't go to the YO. You may just cause resentments. I bet the whole yard finds her annoying.
 
I can see peoples point regarding her being harmless
But that would annoy me immensely! I dont like people doing anything with my horses without me expressly saying so. And I hate being questioned about how I look after them
 
I think generally there is the 'nosey-brown-nosed' people on every yard, I nearly put the general criteria down for being one of these people but just incase I offend some people I won't... lol

In my opinion, for what its worth, Id take no notice of questions.. I doubt she means anything from them, and by the sounds of it, she'd be one of these people who you could be blatantly rude to and it'd go straight over her head. My she asks because she doesn't actually know and is quite sincere in why she asks...

For checking your horses, I guess the best way to look upon it is as her doing you a favour, and its kind of sweet that she seems to enjoy spending so much time just looking at and after the well being of horses. If she gets hurt well she didnt have your permission to be there, you didnt ask for her help, so its her fault...

xx
 
Thanks for all the input. I do think she is lonely possibly, but so annoying! I will try be more tolerable!! :-) (however hard that may be and how much I wish I could just literally zip her mouth shut!!:D)
 
you think that is annoying?! how about a group of children constantly asking the same questions eg. why are you brushing your horse? why are you picking its feet out?
and when i say: please move away from her, she's not very keen on children (as horse is laying its ears back and making faces at them) they just ask 'why?' 'because she's not keen on little people and she might bite you' children still standing right by her door asking yet again 'why?' this drives me up the wall, because one day, the horse will get very annoyed and bite one of them and then of course i will get the blame, she's not soo fussed when they stand next to her quietly, makes faces but won't bite but she hates their high pitched 'awwww you're so cute!' and screaming and other noises as they run past her stable multiple times at full speed :mad:
or the best most annoying question EVER! 'are you riding?'
'no thats why i'm fully dressed in my riding gear standing on a mounting block with my horse tacked up standing next to the mounting block, no i'm not riding, i'm just standing there for fun' :rolleyes:
 
I often ask my livery friends if they are riding!!! But mostly because then we could go together!! Sometimes I even text that to them to arrange it, I must be really annoying!!! Although normally we do ride together lol.

There's a older lady at my yard and I found the same problems when I first moved in. I soon realised she is just trying to be helpful and she will always check them over. It makes her happy and no harm is done. I was worried a while ago when she said she would lead the 2 youngsters in together (they can be upredictable and she is 73!!) and she was going to put my sharp mare on the walker which may of been a recipe for disaster!!

Her heart is in the right place though and she has turned into a good friend, she always asks if mine need feeding or haying and she often does it for me. I will help her too if she's riding, I'll muck out and I schooled her mare once a week through the winter.

Your lady does sound slightly more annoying but my lady used to drive me up the wall and now I really like her and know she just loves the horses. So it might get better!!
 
Eurgh, the actual helpful ones sound great but I can fully sympathise with the annoying ones. I loaned a horse last year at a yard with two others loaned by wonderful teenagers from a lovely lady who had bred all 3.
There was a woman who rented a field for her sheep down there who had ponies in the past (one of which died from lami) who didn't leave us alone. She actually scared one of the girls to tears telling her the pony she was loaning clearly had lami (didn't and had no history of it what so ever).
 
I think you need to accept that all people are different.

You also need to accept that for some people it's the caring of the animal that's important - not riding it. And quite frankly it's non of your business what she chooses to do with her ponies, as long as they're well looked after.

As for checking on the other ponies - fantastic. It's very reassuring to know that people care enough to take the time to check on the health and wellbeing of others horses. Had that happened a little more on a yard I was at a collapsed horse would have received treatment several hours before it actually did, and may not have had to have been destroyed.

Perhaps her questions to you about rugging, feeding etc. are her way of trying to get to know you - perhaps she's genuinly interested in horse management and the way others do it because she'd like to 'learn'. We all know that having horses is a constant learning curve.

Maybe it would be nice for you to take the time to get to know her - rather than bitch about her on here and with people on a new yard that you really don't know.......

Poor woman, I feel quite sorry for her.
 
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amymay said:
I think you need to accept that all people are different.

You also need to accept that for some people it's the caring of the animal that's important - not riding it. And quite frankly it's non of your business what she chooses to do with her ponies, as long as they're well looked after.

As for checking on the other ponies - fantastic. It's very reassuring to know that people care enough to take the time to check on the health and wellbeing of others horses. Had that happened a little more on a yard I was at a collapsed horse would have received treatment several hours before it actually did, and may not have had to have been destroyed.

Perhaps her questions to you about rugging, feeding etc. are her way of trying to get to know you - perhaps she's genuinly interested in horse management and the way others do it because she'd like to 'learn'. We all know that having horses is a constant learning curve.

Maybe it would be nice for you to take the time to get to know her - rather than bitch about her on here and with people on a new yard that you really don't know.......

Poor woman, I feel quite sorry for her.
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i think in all fairness this is a situation that you'd need to personally meet the said woman and the way she says things, she doesn't say them nicely by any means, and I'm not bitching, I am allowed to express how I feel and I did say above i would tske on board other people's input....which I will.

You wouldn't feel sorry for her if you met her. I can guarantee that.
 
Troyseph said:
i think in all fairness this is a situation that you'd need to personally meet the said woman and the way she says things, she doesn't say them nicely by any means, and I'm not bitching, I am allowed to express how I feel and I did say above i would tske on board other people's input....which I will.

You wouldn't feel sorry for her if you met her. I can guarantee that.
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Well it's all part and parcel of being on a livery yard. You get all sorts, some you'll get on with, some you won't. The art is to get on with everyone, without becoming involved in yard politics or bitching (which yes you are doing).

Or maybe find a yard where you're the only occupant.:cool:
 
agree with amymay
she's probably been on the yard years and is maybe being a bit spiky as you're newcomers ans she's being a bit territorial.

i know it maybe hard but try to bite your tounge and just nod politely if she's giving you a lecture on your horse care that you find annoying, my bet is it really will tail off once you've been there a few more moths and you've settled in.
Try not to burn your bridges with her by being rude or pissing her off in the meantime, yes i know its hard! ;)
you do all have to get on , you're all on the same yard.

Try to ackowledge she's been there a lot longer than you may be feeling put out (re her comment about the welshie in her feld) but she'll settle down and you may find a time when she's useful in the future so remember that even if it feels unlikely now.

goodluck and take. deep. breaths!
 
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I have someone just like that where i am! She is at least 60, hasn't had horses for very long, retired and think she knows everything when infact she doesn't! She tries to tell me what to do with my horse, when she leaves hers on a concrete floor with a hand fall of shavings and thinks he is fat, when he isn't! She always questions everything i do, when i have been around horses for years, infact have 2 degrees in them and worked in a variety of yards, so like to think i have an idea of what i'm doing...i don't know everything... no one does! She is going to get me on a bad day, i get up at 5 during the week...so not the happiest person!

But i am going to take her aside and just kindly ask her to butt out and it's my horse and i can do what i like! I don't make comments about what she does with hers...but it is very annoying and frustrating when you feel you are being judged for everything you do by some people!

Rant over hehe!
 
jesus, why is it so hard to just smile pleasantly and just ignore people..let it go over your head?
i just dont get it. stop getting yourself so riled up, life's too short.
 
4faults said:
Have to agree with you OP this would annoy me immensely. Not only that but what if this woman was hurt by one of your horses? Horses that she hasn't asked permission to touch.

If she wants to check them I would tell her to feel free to have a look at them from outside the field and get in touch with you if anything is wrong
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I would be pissed off too, I hate people who interfer its my biggest pet hate busy bodies!

the thing is if she checks your horse loose in the field one day and something startles him and he tries to gallop off and knocks her flying then no doubt she will claim against you.

Try and ignore her even thought its terribly difficult
 
Sounds like her heart is in the right place, and tbh if I am catching a horse in and someone elses comes up closely to me, I will run a hand down its legs and pick the feet up and give it a quick check.
Could never forgive myself if I was at the yard and a cut or something went unnoticed even though I was there!

Just be gentle. She sounds like an older lady who's heart is in the right place but she is set in her ways. Remember she doesn't need hard feed and hay etc, so she probibily finds it strange that you feed yours and she doesn't.

Just be diplomatic and subtle.
 
lula said:
jesus, why is it so hard to just smile pleasantly and just ignore people..let it go over your head?
i just dont get it. stop getting yourself so riled up, life's too short.
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^^^ This. Agree with AmyMay too I am afraid. She sounds harmless and whilst she may be anoying - she may turn out to be a mine of useful information and help. If she doesn't - well never mind:)
 
I agree with Amymay, I'd button my lip and not get involved with bitching about her to the other liveries either. I certainly wouldn't be running to the yo about her, it could well be that she needs to get to know you all and feels a bit pushed out at the moment.

As for her having plenty of time and moorland ponies that are just ornaments then I really don't think that is relevant, you too will be older one day and may just want to keep horses to look after rather than ride. It doesn't necessarily mean she hasn't done plenty in the past.

Looking at things from her perspective she is probably concerned that your horses are getting too much hard feed if they are on good grass - she owns native types so is probably well aware of overfeeding and any grass is probably good to her ;) Ditto the hay, perhaps she is concerned about your horses becoming overweight?

She might also feel that the 'unfriendly' horse needs more handling and is trying to be diplomatic.

I imagine she comes across as not saying things nicely as she is aware of others talking about her?

Anyway, she can tell you want to do with your horses till she's blue in the face, it doesn't mean you have to do it, look on it as a lesson in developing tolerance and smiling sweetly and carrying on. She might actually be quite nice if you make the effort to involve her and get chatting.
 
I sometimes worry about people like this, we've got one on our yard that knows best about everything, you try and tell her but really the only way she learns is when disaster strikes.
We've had a couple of horses on the yard that have issues with back feet being picked up, 1 had a sugar intolerance that caused spasm's in his hind quarters especially when getting his feet picked out (sugar was cut out from his diet but by this point he thought he was going to fall over when you picked his feet out), you had to keep the feet very very low to the ground, basically touching the ground and there was really only 1 other person than me that could manage it, another horse with really bad shivers in both back legs, again would fall over if you weren't really careful and one that I have no idea what has happened in the past but is really iffy about his back legs. This person was told on several occassions not to pick out the back feet that myself or my friend would do it, so what does she do try and pick out the shivers horse in the field when he was loose, kicked out at her several times (probably because the leg was too high), I appeared in time to see the horse crash to the ground, I did go ballistic at her as she had been told not too, but no she knew better, she managed to really upset the sugar intolerant horse in the stable because again she kept asking him to pick up his legs and the horse got really stressed and then of course it takes ages to get the confidence back.
I would ask politely for her to leave your horses alone, but I have the feeling it will take something to happen before she actually does.
 
Our old YO is a bit like that, they absolutely mean well and have a heart of gold but it did get wearisome at times, we didn't want to hurt her feelings so we used to just listen to what she said, thank her for the advice and follow what suited and disregard the rest
 
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