Bit of a rant, need opinions.

Lucky Snowball said:
Could you suggest that full livery is getting hard for All of you. Get them to agree diy only then set a date and stick to it. Ensure the diy people really are diy, contract re poo picking etc.
Click to expand...
We have tried, we only just about managed to get them to agree to DIY on weekends.
But we have this argument every winter, as its all rosey in the garden during the summer, and once winter comes and the cold, wet mornings mucking out come my father in law ends up hating the whole set up.
We are hoping this will be the last year of Full livery tbh.
 
Widgeon said:
Totally agree. Before raising the issue, I would make a spreadsheet with livery costs (at market price) on one side, and the time and value of your labour on the other. See what comes out, and that should help you decide what you really want.

Is cheap / free livery the most important thing to you, or would you rather pay closer to market price and stop having to do all the work?

If the in-laws are pocketing the livery fees paid by all other these other owners, then I agree the arrangement's a bit "off". It would be entirely different (in my mind) if you were getting a clear, pre-defined cut of any profits.

Finally, would the livery yard actually break even if they were paying a freelancer minimum wage to do all these tasks? If the answer is no, and it's only solvent because of your free labour, then there's a bigger and more difficult conversation to be had.
Click to expand...
I would rather not pay and help them with any chores(as Im doing it anyway and paying) and no the yard would be making a loss if they hired a freelancer as they are not even charging the correct livery fee.
We have tried to make them up the price but they say its unfair on the other liveries... They are very hard people to deal with.
 
I think the difficult bit is- if they weren't your in-laws - where would you keep your horses?
I would go into this very carefully. Are you planning children/got children? You need to present them with a reason other than 'I don't want to pay you anymore' as that is hard for anyone to swallow their pride from
You do benefit by having horses next door. I hazard a guess you may benefit from the land more than you think - assuming you don't have your own land as that would be the most straightforward thing -that you simply open your own livery yard? In which case - it's important to appreciate that they are bringing a sizeable amount to the arrangement.

I'd present it as because of x (unrelated reason to livery yard) I need to review my finances and labour, I'm wondering if we could review what I do here and how we split it all - or possibly get your husband to present it as they are his parents.
Alternatively he could approach it as I've now been married to x for x number of years. I would like to bring her fully into the family fold and not be charging her money, we're happy to run the livery yard for you and you get x amount of it, we get either free livery or a guarantee of future inheritance etc etc. to emphasise if its a family business it needs to have family benefits.
 
I would just say that you are struggling with the time it takes to do all the poopicking/responsibilities for the liveries with your other commitments and would like to be able stop doing it, but appreciate that puts them in a difficult situation so wanted to discuss it with them and see if you can find a solution.. you're wanting to take on a few more hours at work cost of living etc.. and would need to be able to drop the time you spend sorting out the liveries to do it- what do they think?

I'd present it as a problem you have (separate to them) and are needing to make some changes but the change in your behaviour will impact on them and so you wanted to talk to them about it first... then ask for their thoughts/ideas

I'd be very careful about putting things across in a confronting/direct way as family tensions are difficult at the best of times and as interlinked as your lives sound I'd want to stay on as good terms as possible. Sounds like your set up is lovely otherwise and I wouldn't want to forfeit that if I were you
 
SusieT said:
I think the difficult bit is- if they weren't your in-laws - where would you keep your horses?
I would go into this very carefully. Are you planning children/got children? You need to present them with a reason other than 'I don't want to pay you anymore' as that is hard for anyone to swallow their pride from
You do benefit by having horses next door. I hazard a guess you may benefit from the land more than you think - assuming you don't have your own land as that would be the most straightforward thing -that you simply open your own livery yard? In which case - it's important to appreciate that they are bringing a sizeable amount to the arrangement.

I'd present it as because of x (unrelated reason to livery yard) I need to review my finances and labour, I'm wondering if we could review what I do here and how we split it all - or possibly get your husband to present it as they are his parents.
Alternatively he could approach it as I've now been married to x for x number of years. I would like to bring her fully into the family fold and not be charging her money, we're happy to run the livery yard for you and you get x amount of it, we get either free livery or a guarantee of future inheritance etc etc. to emphasise if its a family business it needs to have family benefits.
Click to expand...
No children(had hysterectomy last year) My husband is one of 4 kids, he is the only one who gives any help in the yard, fencing, poo picking, mucking out when his parents arent able, or on holidays.
We always dig in when theres any work to be done, or if his parents are sick or want to go away.
We do have our own land which I also graze during the summer, I use the arena maybe once a week at most.

I have been married 12 years now and with him nearly 20, and as I said, I never paid any livery before the livery yard as I gave his mum my ex event horse to ride and compete, but once she got the use of him and he as retired it was like I had no other use.
 
emilylou said:
I would just say that you are struggling with the time it takes to do all the poopicking/responsibilities for the liveries with your other commitments and would like to be able stop doing it, but appreciate that puts them in a difficult situation so wanted to discuss it with them and see if you can find a solution.. you're wanting to take on a few more hours at work cost of living etc.. and would need to be able to drop the time you spend sorting out the liveries to do it- what do they think?

I'd present it as a problem you have (separate to them) and are needing to make some changes but the change in your behaviour will impact on them and so you wanted to talk to them about it first... then ask for their thoughts/ideas

I'd be very careful about putting things across in a confronting/direct way as family tensions are difficult at the best of times and as interlinked as your lives sound I'd want to stay on as good terms as possible. Sounds like your set up is lovely otherwise and I wouldn't want to forfeit that if I were you
Click to expand...
Thats a great Idea. They know I am struggling financially so maybe saying that I wont be able to do any of the work as I need to work extra hours to pay the €200 a month may actually make them realise thats it's better to have me helping than the money.
 
CastlelackSportHorses said:
I would rather not pay and help them with any chores(as Im doing it anyway and paying) and no the yard would be making a loss if they hired a freelancer as they are not even charging the correct livery fee.
We have tried to make them up the price but they say its unfair on the other liveries... They are very hard people to deal with.
Click to expand...
Ok, so the actual issue seems to be then that your labour is actually subsidising other people's horse ownership...yeah that's tricky if they won't see that/will come down on the side of trying to keep things cheap for the liveries.

Trying to persuade them over to pure DIY does seem like the least confrontational way out, but will you still end up doing poo picking if the diys start flaking on responsibilities?
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top