bitchiness to a new level!

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michelleice

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is it bad that I'm thinking if this yard doesn't go well on Thursday i might get rid of my boy had yet more rubbish today with that yard and Ive not even been up there yet! its like school yard tattle tales "such and such said this" "she said that" and to top it all off now heard i apparently on Sunday threw my self at a guy that works at a horse supplies for free feed! funny how i was spending day with my OH and kids at a nature reserve and shop ain't even open on a Sunday! and my feed bins are full!

had enough its getting me down and driving me crazy now
 
Can you not just go do work/care for your horse and ignore everyone else?


When I had my horse on livery I ignored everyone else there and focused on my horse. It was quite easy to do considering I was not there to make friends but to be with my horse?

people suck..I know
 
Which is exactly why my horses are on a yard a rent for me and me only!!! Saying that I took my daughter to try a horse yesterday and half the island know now I'm sure!!!! Anyway I did buy it and its home already!!!
 
Poor you! I was at the point of getting rid of my pones recently due to all the bitchiness.

When you go down just spend some time with you boy and you'll soon realise why you put up with it. Is moving yards an option? Chin-up hun, I'm sure things will improve.
 
cripes, they sound like a load of schoolgirls. no way would i give up my horse for a group of immature bitches.
as my father used to say, "consider the source." if it's someone whose opinion you really really do not give a rat's **** about, ignore it completely, they aren't worth your attention. if it's someone important to you, i would openly ask them about it, preferably with an audience. one good tactic is to turn it on them, to calmly ask something like "what is it in you that gets so much out of trying to hurt me?" or "why would you say something so untrue and so deliberately hurtful?" and persevere until you get an answer... if they have one!
must admit, it's 1 of the best things of not having to keep horses at livery any more! as Sartre said, "hell is other people"....!
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Oh boy, they really do take the biscuit... I think you need to think positively and hope that Thursday will go well and you'll be away from there soon when you can enjoy your boy. If you get rid of him you will regret it forever.
 
cant ignore them as i get calls/txt's notes left! apparently my horse is 25 funny his passport says 16 and his back broken!

girl at my yards loan pony is now up for sale because i said she was looking for others???? so they are selling it

goes on and on and on and I'm at wits end now! i thought owning horses was sap post to be fun and rewarding? all i get it people having a go at me and taking the pi** sorry I'm fuming now if my OH wasn't so understanding it could of finished us!
 
well try and ignore them in a different way. Simply do not read the notes or texts.... you have that power. Just ask the YO to contact you if there is an urgent matter about your horse and leave the rest of those lunatics alone is my advice.



You also have the power to speak to them in an adult fashion and ask that you kindly be left out of gossip or nagative speak and that you only want to be contacted if there is an emergency about your horse. They will respect you more for it and I bet you 100% they will leave you out of the gossip after that. Plus you get the added bonus of seeing them red faced and shocked when you stop them dead in thier tracks being silly gossips.


In the mean time try and find a private yard or at least one with more adults present


btw.... owning horses IS fun and rewarding if you focus on your horse and not silly people surrounding you
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Why are you keeping your horse at this yard? Surely there must be others.

Urrm why didn't the loan horse owners speak to the loaner instead of taking other people word for it.

TBH you have a few choices
1) Move yards
2) Confront the worse offenders, firstly nicely just asking for clarification on what has been said, asking them what their problem is etc. Keep all notes/texts etc and if this chat doesn't help then you could threaten to go to the police about harrassment http://www.opsi.gov.uk/acts/acts1997/ukpga_19970040_en_1#pb1-l1g1
3) Sell your horse and let them ruin your life.
 
Bloody hate that sort of stupid shite stirring.
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When I was looking at another yard, "some" arsehole told the yard owner that my pony had kicked all the other horses in the field where we are at the moment
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, "totally untrue", I was bloody fuming
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, yes he isn't a saint, but then how many are, some of the injuries we get are from them playing at wild stallions etc
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, the reason for most occaisional nasty injuries are bloody public feeding them at the fence at which they "all" get feisty,
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I made it very well known to the yard owner that I was not happy at the individual concerned, fortunately I had decided not to go there anyway as they have very poor grazing all year.
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im posting under a different user name ill admit because i know people associated with my yard keep tabs on me via here

but i know exactly how you feel, i get notes left, theyre all two faced and ive found out a lot of nasty things have been said about me and my horse
and all ill say is keep your chin up, ignore them get on with what you need to do, try to enjoy your horse and just keep yard hunting
 
YM is one of the ones stirring (man)Ive been looking at other yards and hopefully this one on thursday will go well i can only pray! if i does on Monday I'm off even though I'm payed up till end of month i don't care!

everyone was so helpful and nice when i moved on was a smoke screen to the real life up there! i refuse to go up there alone now meaning i can only go u[p at 7.30 pm ish when OH home from work as i don't want to speak to anyone alone now.

i why i would throw myself at a man! i do not know i can afford feed! let alone while im pregnant is beyond me

grrr thank you girls calming down slowly have no patience i want on new yard now!
 
oh and loaners said they aren't having horse back over winter so because i mentioned i was looking at horses for her i didn't know it was a secret and i though she was keeping both they went and done it, i feel guilty ofc i do but they asked me as if they knew!
 
The horse world seems full of them, if you listen to the local gossip my yard has been sold - yes true, and we where being throwen off - not true as I have just sighned a new contract with new owner. Proplem is it has a knock on effect as I cant seem to get liviers as they all think the yard is sold!!!! Wish people wold keep there comments to themselfs unless they know the truth. and riding is meant to be fun!!
 
blimey girl....i don't understand the horsey world....I've been to some terrible yards in my time....these days I keep myself to myself do my horse and go....i say hello to be polite but thats about it really....
I do know how you feel though - cricky I've been assulted in one horrible yard....that the police got involved with and wouldn't arrest the person til i moved my horse.....
Honestly though keep positive and if it were me....i'd be looking at moving pronto and keeping my horse...no-one would ditate to me about that thats for sure!
Why can't we all as horse lovers get along with each other...we don't have to be best of friends but at least don't start nasty things....life is sooo cruel sometimes!!!

Please keep positive and get you and your horse a new home!!

Hope all goes well for you all....and stay strong....don't let them win!!!!!
xxx
 
your right i shouldnt get rid of my boy because of them! depending on thursday if that doesnt pan i could move him to a temp yard somewhere else ok its £250 month and full livery which i dont want! its no kids allowed so kids would have to stay at home or in car but it would be better that where i am now
 
£250 for full livery isn't too bad....really....i hope the move on Thursday does go well for you both....you have a lovely horse that needs it's mummy to keep enjoying him for years to come yet!!

Best of luck....please keep us upto date....
 
reallyfeel for you dude your yard sounds worse than mine, dont sell your boy though just because of a few idiots i felt like that 2 for a day or so but i know i'd regret it chin up. this thursday yard sounds hopefull just get him shifted and tell them youwant livery for rest of month back xx
 
You poor thing, that sounds hideous, those people are pathetic and clearly have no life, unlike you who actually does, try ignore them, holding your head high and repeating to yourself what a sad bunch they are. And if it persists then consider moving
 
I would get out as fast as you can! And if the YM is one of the people stirring and if he put it about that you have bene throwing yourself at other men I would pay a visit with my OH and make it very clear that what was said was slander and you both take a very dim view. In light of which, you want you rmoney back for the rest of the month. That is appaling behaviour and I would confront whoever was spreading such terrible rumours, its not funny. That's the kind of thing that can break people up.
 
I hope when you do find somewhere else to go you stand in front of each and everyone including yo and tell them to f*ck right off some people are utter sh*ts,you always get some degree of bitching on yards but picking on someone is out of order and especially by the one person that is supposed to be in control of things. If i was close by i would come up and kick off some proper sh*t for you.Sorry for all the **s but it gets my back up
 
Sounds like where I was. YO was the main stirrer. I got out and never looked back! DON'T sell your boy cos of it. Don't let them do that to you....... try and find an alternative....
 
I'd still give it a go. Its amazing how people change their tune when a bloke comes walking onto the yard demanding to know about the rumours being spread about his pregnant wife. At the end of the day, they are MAKING you leave. Its not just disgusting to spread such slander about innocent people but also to put a pregnant woman under that kind of stress! Does the feed merchant have a family who could also be hurt by these rumours? Oooh, my blood is boiling - if you want a hand I'll happily come round and administer a few slaps or pretend to be a solicitor. Fighting is on my CV, listed under "Hobbies".
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I really feel for you too,
I ve have been through similar on three occasions in the past few years and its truely terrible and utterly debilitating. I was on the verge of selling my horse and slitting my own throat because of the nastiness I experienced.
If you have the choice to move then go.
Your horse is supposed to be your leisure time, not sheer purgatory.
I do not know why this level of bitchiness is so prolific in the horsey world but it sadly is.
I think it has a great deal to do with jealousy, and low self esteem, often found regretably amongst women.
Try to rise above it, but move away as soon as you can as this is not good for you, your horse or your baby.
If you have any support at all from anyone at the yard, make the most of it. I made a great friend who really stood up for me and she made all the difference.
People who bully and bitch like this are really sad idiots with no life and are beneath contempt, but they can do a lot of damage to your mental health, so please nobody underestimate them.

Good luck
 
I totally sympathise. I've just moved from a yard due to nastiness and bitchiness, yard had great facilities but other than that had feck all going for it. I'm still upset by one of the people involved as I thought they were a friend, but hey, i'm away from it now and am somewhere quiet with just the old ym and her pony for company...it's nice not to have the stress anymore. Chin up, and get looking for somewhere else. Xxx
 
Try just laughing at it. These are very sad people of low intelligence. I've just found out that the two newest liveries on my place have been systematically slagging everybody else off. Unfortunately they were stupid enough to gob off to a person who has cheerfully told us all what was said about each of us so now we know the truth and have swapped notes amongst ourselves as we get on just fine. That doesn't mean to say we never comment about someone else, but they are observations, not necessarily critisisms and we accept that people do things differently. They aren't necessarily doing things wrong. Alienating everybody else just isn't sensible - when they need a hand with their horses, these two won't get a single volunteer for a start now!

Unfortunately , I think this is common on yards simply because they are largely female environments. I had the dubious pleasure of 5 years at an all-girls school and you could cut the atmosphere with a knife most of the time. It was just a constant bitch-fest and the fights that broke out were pretty spectacular!
 
QR the bitchiest people I know are those with the least going on in their own lives, and/or the unhappiest. Try to feel sorry for them, it'll help you inside.
 
[ QUOTE ]
QR the bitchiest people I know are those with the least going on in their own lives, and/or the unhappiest. Try to feel sorry for them, it'll help you inside.


[/ QUOTE ]

This is so true.
 
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