Brow Beaten Father!

[Sit]

Afternoon all,

I am the father of a horse mad 9 year old girl, she eats, sleeps and dreams horses and if given the chance would spend every last minute wathcing 'This Esme' or 'Imogen Grace Eventing' and her knowledge (self taught!) never ceases to amaze me! At the age of 9 she has already followed in her inspirations footsteps and started her own YouTube channel posting videos with advice and tips that she has picked up along the way.

Prior to Covid she road twice a week having 1to1 lessons and has been riding since she was 2, she is a good standard and always makes us very proud. My own mother encouraged her into horses (thanks mum!) and has helped along the way with various things. My mum has always been 'horsey' and was kind enough to find a 'part loan' local to us last year for them to share, however the size of the horse was probably a shade too big for our daughter in order for it to be suitable for my mum to ride as well. To cut a long story short the loan didn't work out and we parted on amicable terms with the owner, our daughter was extremely enthusiastic throughout and never once moaned about having to go down and turn out, muck out etc. she truly impressed us.

So having had a 'taste' of it this has only spurred on her enthusiasm and desire to 'own' her own pony which she can care for and ride. As parents of an only child it was very much the idea that we would do everything we could to give her all the opportunities that we can and this is clearly something she dearly loves.

It was simply a stroke of co-incidence that whilst out on our daily cycle ride came across a beautiful field for sale about 5 minutes from home with a recently constructed double stable and attached storage area, totalling 3 acres with water already onsite and a lovely peaceful location. I have for many years been quite keen to buy a plot of land, not for any specific reason other than I think its quite nice to own a patch of land and in the future feel it would be a wise investment. Find myself often thumbing RightMove looking at plots of land near to us that we could buy and use for nothing more than a bit of enjoyment.

The opportunity to satisfy my desire to buy some land coupled with our daughters passion for the equestrian world has got us thinking about maybe buying this patch of land. Prior to Covid we were looking to move house but that was out of want rather than need, bit more space, change of location but our existing house is perfectly adequate and manageable especially staring down the barrel of a recession. That being the case we thought that perhaps rather than moving we stay put and instead invest in this plot, somewhere we can all spend time together and hopefully nurture our daughter with her desire to own a pony/horse.

I have done a bit of reading on H&H about pasture management, space required, considerations etc. and it has been really informative. The reason for my post is to hear from anyone that might have done anything simmilar?? Your advice/experience/words of encouragement or otherwise would be most welcome. I was lucky to beenfit from opportunities from my parents when i was growing up and would like to do the same for our daughter. I know that owning your own horse is very different to turning up for a lesson twice a week but as I said when we were involved in a part loan she entered into it with gusto and I am confident the responsibility would be a good thing for her.

Are we making a mistake, is this too big a thing to take on, I am guessing everyone has to start somewhere.

Anyway thats me, a proud dad trying to do as much as he can to help his daughter realise her dreams.

Si

 

[HappyHollyDays]

Welcome to the forum.

There is another father on here who has done what you want to do for your daughter but for the life of me I can’t remember his user name at the moment. If I can find him or someone else can remember his name maybe have a chat with him via PM.

Will be back shortly.

 

[HappyHollyDays]

Found him, it’s Darbs from Worcestershire. He comes across as a thoroughly nice chap and his daughter is a cracking little rider.

 

[Sit]

Found him, it’s Darbs from Worcestershire. He comes across as a thoroughly nice chap and his daughter is a cracking little rider.

Superb thank you so much, I will touch base and see what advice he can offer - thats really useful and thank you for such a prompt response. I always find forums a bit hit and miss and never really know what to expect but thats ace!

Si

 

[splashgirl45]

it sounds ideal and i wish my parents could have afforded to buy me a pony. however, having a pony on your own land is a big responsibility , the pony will need company as they are herd animals and you/your daughter will need to know how much grazing the pony should have, be able to pick up any illness or lameness etc.... i would suggest it would be better to buy a pony with the help of her current instructer who will know her capabilities and keep it at a good livery yard where your daughter will have people on hand for advice and also company for her to ride with....and if you can afford it, buy the land with the idea that when her and the pony are working as a team you move it to your own place and maybe get a small companion for the pony. good luck and i hope it all works out well for your family..

 

[dogatemysalad]

What a lucky little girl, your daughter is in having a dad who is so willing to get involved. People do buy a first pony for a child and keep it on their own land and sometimes it works out very well.
Things to consider are; if you live off site, is the field secure from walkers who leave gates open, let their dogs chase the pony (It's happened to me ) and in the event of injury or illness, how long will the pony wait to be discovered?
Will your daughter been able to ride in the field all year round without a menage and is it possible for her to hack on bridlepaths without boxing up or riding on unsuitable roads ?
Horses prefer company, you'd probably need to buy two ponies.
Your daughter may miss having company of other children to ride and hang out with if you go it alone.
Livery yards are imperfect, but they can be a great source of support for first time owners especially when problems arise.
Whatever you decide, I hope your daughter has a wonderful experience.

 

[ycbm]

You sound like the dad every horsey little girl wants!

A note of caution on the land, youngsters often get on better with other kids and ponies around and she might initially prefer to be in a livery yard. But it's probably a good long term investment, you can rent it out until she wants horses 'at home', that kind of thing doesn't come on sale very often and if I were you I would buy it if you can also add £30k to build an arena, sooner or later. (And get planning consent).

.

 

[Equi]

Oh wow your daughter is a lucky little lady! I echo the others in that kids generally do better with other people about so unless they have horsey parents it can be a bit lonely on their own. But buying land is never a bad investment esp if its about 3 acres...if you got planning permission on some of it you can build a nice house and still have enough for future yard/fields for the inevitable ponies lol

 

[Sit]

Thank you all for your kind replies and pointers, its really useful; I am not horsey although willing to learn and do my bit - I quite enjoyed the part-loan we had! I just think that I would rather occupy her with hobbies and interests than risk her being bored and falling into the wrong things/groups.

We are lucky that we live in Wedmore which is a beautiful rural village in Somerset just South of Cheddar and have some fantastic riding country around us not to mention Badgworth Arena which is an equestrian school which runs all sorts of events and suchlike. I hear the advice about being good to start on a yard and I think thats really valid, a friend of hers at school lives on a farm which does DIY livery for £40 a week including hay and they have an arena and plenty of acres to ride/hack out on. So perhaps we could cut our teeth there and whilst doing that I can ready our own little slice of equestrian real estate which she can move to when she is ready.

I just want to give her the chance to do these things, if it doesnt work out then buying a bit of land I don't think will ever be a bad investment with lots of other scope as people have pointed out.

Well I will keep you posted on how things progress.

Si

 

[OldNag]

I would honestly go with livery to start with. Having others around to ride with makes a heck of a difference.
Mine were 7 and 5 when they got lmtgeir first pony and they learned so much being on a livery yard - and had so much fun too.

Your daughter is one lucky girl

 

[P.forpony]

I had my own from home from the age of 11, stables built (by mum and me!) in the back garden and grazing a mile down the lane.
Mum loved the idea of ponies but practical knowledge was not her strong suit.
Idyllic childhood, I used to bike down to the field and bike back home with a pony on each side.
Never bored always busy!
The livery yard starting suggestion is a good one, but starting at home is completely possible.
The biggest thing you could do to help is join the pony club. Find the right one and you’ll never be short of help and support, other horse dads might be your new best friends!
Budget for a trailer/lorry to make sure you can get to rallies and lessons so your daughter can continue to learn.
Also in terms of land maintenance find your friendly local farmer. We used to pay pennies for harrowing/rolling etc and he used to put sheep in the paddock to keep the grass down in spring and summer. Win win.

 

[MrsMozart]

Welcome to the rest of your life!

I've not read all the replies as I've not had tea yet so am not concentrating... bear that in mind!

Buy the land if you can. Have a pony at livery for now.

You'll learn how to manage the land whilst your daughter should, hopefully, learn and benefit from knowledgeable people around her and you.

When you move to your own yard you'll need a companion. Three acres will take two so long as stabled part-time. You'll need something steady that won't object when you take the other pony out and about.

Get CCTV up and plenty of signs. A container makes a pretty secure tack room, though they're not infallible.

Research local farriers, vets, equine dentists. Learn about worming options and field rotation.

Read as much as you can about what tools and equipment you'll need for the care and maintenance of the land. If you have a quad bike you'll need to triple your security.

Go round the fencing with a fine tooth comb. Apart from not wanting your animals to get out and hurt you'll be liable if they damage anything.

Figure out where hay and bedding will live. Must be accessible, dry, and have an airflow.

Consider a winter trash paddock dependent on what the soil and drainage is like.

Take out your location from you post. You've been a tad too precise.


Edited because I still can't spell or proofread properly... ??

 

[HashRouge]

If you can afford it, I'd buy the land but start your daughter off at a livery yard. You could always rent the land out if you find someone trustworthy to take it on. Starting at a livery yard would be better for her I think - when you're younger it's more fun with other people around and there will always be someone around to help too. I was a pony mad child with unhorsey parents and that is how I started out when I first started loaning a pony (aged 10). I was on a great yard for kids as there were a couple of other girls my age and most of the rest of the liveries were surprisingly willing to hack out with a 10 year old. You sound like the perfect dad for aa horse mad girl - if you've got any other questions, please ask us and we'll do our best.

NB I do agree with MrsMozart - I'd take the name of your village out of your post if you can still edit it, or ask the moderators if they'll remove.

 

[ycbm]

Three acres will take two so long as stabled part-time

Got to disagree with you there, sorry. Three acres of almost any ground will keep two ponies without any stabling. Most land of that size would keep two large horses.

.

 

[MrsMozart]

Got to disagree with you there, sorry. Three acres of almost any ground will keep two ponies without any stabling. Most land of that size would keep two large horses.

.

But do the stables, drive, parking, etc., take up some of the three acres? And what is the soil and drainage?

 

[Pearlsasinger]

Excellent advice from MrsM.
If your mum is going to be involved perhaps she would like to own her own horse and keep it with your pony eventually. It sounds as if your intention is to be involved but your daughter will need lots of adult support whether the pony is on your own land or at DIY livery

 

[Sit]

Morning all - once again thank you so much for all the replies and advice, it truly is invaluable!

I can’t edit that post - do I need to message any moderator in particular?

Indeed I only had the conversation last night about my mum taking up the other stable which is a very real possibility. It sounds like I have as much to learn about paddock management as my daughter does about owning your own pony! It’s exciting though and something I really want to be part of.

There’s no shortage of friendly farmers where we live, most of them are friends through the school so they side of things should be taken care of. The stable block has 2 stables and then a storage room on one end, assuming this will be suitable for storage of hay etc. it’s roofed over but has an open door for airflow.

I like the idea of a container for secure storage, I would also need to look into perhaps getting electric onto the site, it’s not their at present but the lane has large detached dwellings spread along its length so it won’t be far away.

She is a member of Pony Club although that was through a riding centre she used to ride at and clearly didn’t own her own, I would imagine it’s a totally different thing when you have your own. Her friend from school (who has the livery) regularly holds Pony Club events at their farm and camps so hopefully could get involved there.

Si

 

[DabDab]

Electric is a massive help, but solar power and leisure batteries actually make a very usable alternative these days. You can buy all the components for a stable light system for about £300

 

[Pearlsasinger]

Electric is a massive help, but solar power and leisure batteries actually make a very usable alternative these days. You can buy all the components for a stable light system for about £300

Indeed our stables are at home and when we moved here there was electricity to the yard - plugged into a socket in the bedroom! when we had the house rewried we opted to use solar power for the yard/stables.

 

[MrsMozart]

Send a message to The Fat Controller to get your post amended.

Solar and wind are grand, but check with your vet as some of their diagnostic equipment, i.e. xray, needs mains. Mains electric will add to the value of the land, but might cost a surprisingly eye watering amount to get hooked up. You can get a free online quote, which in my limited experience was no-where near the actual quote!

Your storage room will probably take small baled hay. The large rounds or squares (the latter actually being oblongs) will work out cheaper. At first you can get pallets to sit the bales on and tie tarpaulin over the top and sides.

If daughter is at livery at first she'll probably have access to a school and hacking buddies. No school and nobody right next door to ride out with will likely limit her riding time.

 

[Red-1]

Welcome and congratulations to your daughter for having such a thoughtful father!

I am another who would at least start off with livery, so many problems can be sorted out with the company of others, kids have a great social time (well, I did!) at a livery yard. We had treasure hunts, took turns 'teaching', swapped horses if someone was having a problem and generally had days of picnics etc.

It sounds like money is not a primary concern, so my advice would be slightly different as regards the field. Being as you had thought about moving house already, I would see if it is at all possible to get a property with horses on site. At 9 years old, she will need constant supervision. By 11 years old, if the horses were at home, you would be able to get on with your own life in the house to a large extent while she plays ponies. Much safer then, when she is older, than dropping a child off in a rural area alone, with dangers not even involving horses. I would personally wait for this, plan on 4 years at livery, then horses at home.

If your mum is really keen than I guess that could also work, with her and mum sharing the stables, but if mum was ill then do you have other cover to go and spend time at the stables?

I keep my horses at home, some would say it is less than ideal as we have 2 acres (total plot size, less than 1 1/2 acres of grass) for 2 large horses and only a very small arena. But, it works for us, we can use the arena for winter turnout and also for riding. Riding from a field means no riding at all in the week for many months of the year (due to darkness) and also many horses/ponies, if they are not ridden for a week, would be safer ridden or lunged in the arena first before riding.

At a livery yard, there will likely be an arena with floodlights so riding can go on all year evenings as well as weekends.

If you fancy land then buy it, it may be possible to have livery for winter when it is difficult to keep horses (many winter threads from dedicated people on here about feeling like giving up) and summer with a couple of ponies on your own land. We did a couple or 3 years like that. I felt like my horse was my own, it was idyllic as a teenager (with a driving licence) even though I still had to pay to reserve my place at a livery yard for the next winter.

But, for me, I would plan on 4 years at livery, with time to plan for, and find a way for, keeping horses at home.

 

[splashgirl45]

you sound like a great dad and your daughter is very lucky....another thing to remember is that some young girls can lose interest in horses when boys arrive on the scene, so buy the land if you can afford it as it will be an investment for the future but i wouldnt put electric in as it will be very expensive and you may never use it if your daughter doesnt want to carry on with horses. solar panels work very well and so does a car battery if you need lights...i think most of us on here caught the horse bug when we were young and never grew out of it .i know even when boys came along they couldnt shift my passion for horses which i still have in my 70's so your daughter may be the same, who knows....

 

[Darbs]

Found him, it’s Darbs from Worcestershire. He comes across as a thoroughly nice chap and his daughter is a cracking little rider.

Thanks for that! Thats the nicest compliment I have received in a very long time!

 

[Darbs]

Welcome to the equine cash pit of doom that daughters seem happy to drag us in to!

I’ll give you the benefit of our journey over the past 8 years that has followed a very similar trajectory to yours; we have made plenty of mistakes, but have learned from them so it’s not been wasted effort.

BUY THE LAND! TOMORROW! Whatever happens you won’t loose on it. That size patch is always desirable. Even if you decide short term with livery it will be great to have your own land and yard for the future, if it doesn’t work out with horse’s long term you can sell it or rent it out. Livery yards can be great, or they can be hassle, it’s all about who runs them and the other people on the yard. There are plenty of threads on here about great yards and those that should be shut down. Personally I like having a set up I can influence and change for the way I want it to be, plus I am very tidy and like things the best they can be, some people don’t work that way.

Going to a livery is not a one way street and you could try it out to see how it goes, but it would be great to have the land set up if you decide to give them a go having them local. It is more effort having them at home, but it’s not rocket science, and as long as you plan ahead and have things set up like hay supply, farrier, muck heap collection etc, Interestingly there are some very good books on keeping horses, I read a few and it cut through all the myth and legend! I took the approach that common sense goes a long way and don’t be afraid to question things that don’t feel right.

Looking after them yourself is hard work, and you’ll never get a full night sleep again worrying about something that you have forgotten, it’s more hassle than I have ever experienced before, but I wouldn’t change it. Oh and be prepared for the poo picking, it will dominate your life every day forever (Especially in winter with a head torch!)

Also definitely join the local Pony Club branch, that is probably the most important thing, you’ll meet people who have the same aims; we wouldn’t be without Pony Club.

We have made plenty of mistakes, including some costly ones (don’t buy a young horse for a child...ever!) but I really feel the ups and downs have built the structure and approach we have today.

One further point, (and not to put you under any pressure), but after sitting through hundreds of riding lessons, listening to it all so I can try to give our daughter some guidance when she is riding, I felt I had to see it from her point of view, so I learned to ride. This was a real leveller, as I now know that sometimes when I suggest that she does something, I know for myself it’s not that easy! It has been great learn to ride, and we now ride together occasionally, which a great for us to do and she certainly shows me up, although I think I have surprised her a little bit that I am not quite as clunky as she thought I may be!

I am happy to give you any benefit from our experience, please feel free to give me a shout, we started from almost zero, and I like to think that we have got to the stage where if we were buying a horse to come to us, we would be recommended as being able to provide a happy, safe home.

Good luck in the cash pit of doom, keep in touch, especially about the land.

 

[splashgirl45]

lovely to read your update and pleased it has all worked out for your family even though you are now likely to be broke

 

[Darbs]

lovely to read your update and pleased it has all worked out for your family even though you are now likely to be broke

I am not sure it ever works out, I am certainly never relaxed with the situation! It seems to be constant up and downs (as we all experience). My daughters pony was injured at Pony Club camp last July and he is just back to fitness, thankfully he was insured and PetPlan were great, but its now made me paranoid about every slight swelling, hop, sneeze, cough, trip etc, etc!

I stupidly did a rough tot up of what its cost, and I reckon I could have had a new Range Rover sat on the drive, but thats not fair, because as we all know this is a way of life. Our pony is part of our family (he'd be sat on the sofa watching TV with me if I had my way). We do so much together, its taught my daughter a lot, both good and bad, Pony Club is great, we are super lucky having a great branch, and have made some fantastic friends.

But perhaps as we all do, I am constantly wondering what will be the next hassle, drama, excitement, fun etc etc!

 

[splashgirl45]

you are braver than me darbs, i didnt ever tot up how much it cost me and as i had horses for over 50 years i dread to think how much it would have been over that time and i would be living in a big house with no mortgage rather than a tiny cottage with a mortgage that will only be repaid when i pop my clogs.....however i wouldnt change my lifestyle for one of exotic holidays and loads of money, although loads of money would be nice now!!!! sounds like you are enjoying yourself even with the upsets which is nice to hear...

 

[ycbm]

Sit i feel I should offer the advice I give every parent who asks me whether to buy their daughter a pony.


Go to a bank and withdraw £1000. Take it to a toilet and flush it away one note at a time.

If you can get to the end, buy the pony.

.

 

[Darbs]

Sit i feel I should offer the advice I give every parent who asks me whether to buy their daughter a pony.
Go to a bank and withdraw £1000. Take it to a toilet and flush it away one note at a time.
If you can get to the end, buy the pony.

Agreed, I sometimes wish £20 notes were edible as I could cut out the middle man and feed them to him directly!

 

[Sit]

So update time!!!!!
Thanks to everyone that replied with their advice and experience.

Lots has happened since my initial post - more Covid, house move, job promotion, new school for daughter - it’s been a busy time.

The land idea seemed a winner but trying to negotiate the minefield of raising funds especially with finance houses having super paranoid Covid concerns, the field in question sold.

Possibly a blessing as we did manage to orchestrate a house move - all be it only 6 doors down the road!!! However we are now in a 10 year house minimum and remained in the same village/rural location.

So funds absorbed into the new house means land purchasing is on the back burner for the minute. Reading a lot of the advice, it seems livery has become an attractive option. Not least because of the (relative) low cost compared to buying land and starting from scratch but also from the point of view of all of us being able to learn from others.

We have also been spending £200 a month to travel 15 miles for her to have a 1 to 1 lesson which has brought her on loads, but I can’t help thinking she needs her own horse now.

A friend of our daughters parents offer a beautiful livery which is only a 10min cycle from our house, they have land that can be ridden, a beautiful arena you can book and also a small horse lorry which you can pay a daily charge on to use should you wish to. In going up to her new school we now find they have a school equestrian team, another girl in her year liveries at the same yard who she is friendly with and all things point towards taking up a spot at the yard too.

The next hurdle to overcome is finding her a horse, I think initially we would loan one giving us the ownership experience to sample without the full commitment of spending hard earned on an unknown quantity.

In terms of loans where is the best place to look for these? I guess the in’s and out’s of these agreements need to be scrutinised - is there a standard loan agreement which can be used as a template??

I am trying to learn as much as I can but ultimately don’t want to end up taking something on that doesn’t suit her and puts her off wanting to ride. I almost need a local horse whisperer!

Anymore advice would be welcomed, trying to do this the right way, invariably we will make mistakes but I just want to give her the chance.

Si