Bullied and Accused to the point of ending everything. Help

Hetsmum

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Nothing to add to the excellent advise you have been given but I just wanted to say we all have your back. You have been an inspiration to me in the past and are a wonderful person. The scumbag will get her dues! Stay strong for your girls xxx
 

ebonyallen

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Once again thank you everyone for your sound advise and support, have to say I went to bed without sheading a tear and had the best nights sleep I have had for quite a few months. What has come out today is that her horses which are in a different field to us have been interfered with and the note said the police have been informed, no doubt they have been up and fingerprinted the horses in question lol, do not mean to make light of this but again she is telling porkies and to top it all the other livery daughter drove past and caught her daughter listening by the outside of the barn which really none of us would have a reason to go down that track if it was not so sad it really could be funny But on the plus side taken on board all your replies and will be speaking to Police and also have a had a couple of lovely people come forward to offer me a place if it all gets too much, What can I say again you truly are amazing xx
 

Orca

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Her behaviour is just beyond belief! I'm glad the other livery caught her daughter out and that you've been offered some other options if need be. There's nothing worse than feeling stuck in a situation like that.
 

Patchworkpony

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Ebonyallen I am so angry for you that I could hardly eat my supper. First of all remember you are the better human being - she is worthless scum which is why she needs to bully people. However it is time to take control!!!!! You need to find out her exact address and phone number and then you plan a long, long, long course of revenge. There are so many way to do this without it ever being linked to you - just put 'revenge websites UK' into Google and you will see what I mean. If you feel you can't do this then PM me with her details and I will undertake the whole operation for you - this may be your best option. I used to be an international journalist so I have plenty of tricks up my sleeve. I won't tell you anything so it won't be linked to you but be assured she won't get away with what she has done to you. I hate bullies and have dealt with many in my time. Please call the Samaritans if you feel really desperate - they are excellent, very kind and talk a lot of sense. I will truly help you fight this woman if you need me to - but DON'T let her drive you to the brink. It is always best to take action rather than feel afraid - in fact it is very empowering to fight back.
 

Slightlyconfused

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Ebonyallen I am so angry for you that I could hardly eat my supper. First of all remember you are the better human being - she is worthless scum which is why she needs to bully people. However it is time to take control!!!!! You need to find out her exact address and phone number and then you plan a long, long, long course of revenge. There are so many way to do this without it ever being linked to you - just put 'revenge websites UK' into Google and you will see what I mean. If you feel you can't do this then PM me with her details and I will undertake the whole operation for you - this may be your best option. I used to be an international journalist so I have plenty of tricks up my sleeve. I won't tell you anything so it won't be linked to you but be assured she won't get away with what she has done to you. I hate bullies and have dealt with many in my time. Please call the Samaritans if you feel really desperate - they are excellent, very kind and talk a lot of sense. I will truly help you fight this woman if you need me to - but DON'T let her drive you to the brink. It is always best to take action rather than feel afraid - in fact it is very empowering to fight back.

Remind me not to get on your bad side.......

Hugs op. Some great advice.
 

LadyGascoyne

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I'm another who thinks you are just amazing and loves your updates. You are a remarkable, strong and inspirational person.

Can't add much to the advice you've been given, except to say that it is important to remember that what you are going through is real; it is legitimate, it is not overreacting. It is a problem, and you will be able to solve it. It is not your fault, or your imagination. We are all in agreement on this. You have every right to feel all that you are feeling.

If you can keep in mind that this is one, horrible event - an isolated one- and that this is not your whole life, nor an example of how you usually cope, then it may not be so overwhelming. Any one of us, with or without our disabilities, would not be able to cope with this level of animosity AND a sick horse. You are not weak, in fact you are far stronger than most of us, and you've demonstrated this time and time again in your amazing attitude to your leg.

I have so much respect for you.
 

Spiritedly

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Just remember that you are stronger than her and that you have support from your friends...and a bit more support on the yard, I promise to try and keep my hands off your saddles ;)...The odds are now in your favour and the pd and gb won't know what hit them if anything is said when I'm around x
 

ester

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Ebony you are amazing and inspirational and I don't think anyone on here would disagree with that so never forget that.x
 

Holly Hocks

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Have you tried suggesting to bully bitch that if she keeps getting her things nicked then maybe she should move yards as she is obviously not happy there. You are strong and you will not let her get you down. She isn't worth it.

Why is that loads of yards - IME DIY yards, seem to have an oddball who goes around making wild accusations but when challenged they generally can't provide evidence or proof of anything - usually because it has never happened. What they never seem to realise is that they just look like attention-seeking idiots to everyone else.
 

LD&S

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Terrible behaviour and why should you have to think about leaving somewhere that you are happy with just because of her.

I think you can say to her you are concerned that her saddles went missing and you were not involved so if you were not involved and neither was the other livery it must have been some stranger and you are worried about your things going missing so are going to speak to the police and the YO about improving security at the yard, including perhaps installing camera's in the locked tack room and other areas on the yard. You can also buy saddle racks which have something that folds over them and is lockable so you can suggest that you can purchase these to make all your tack more secure.

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Horze-Sto...table-Accessories-/150988300022?hash=item2327

I think that is a brilliant idea as is asking for the incident number. I hope that the livery moves sooner rather than later, as you have said there aren't many yards on the flat like that but you never know if you decide to look elsewhere you may find somewhere with better hacking, the lane though not busy is very narrow.

I hope you sleep well again tonight

 

moosea

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Sounds shocking ... moving tack? horses interfered with .... I'd be telling this girl that if anymore incidents occur then you would need to install cctv.....
 

maree t

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Hi , I live fairly close . Please let me know if I can help . I bet she is known locally and will probably have been thrown off most local yards . pm if you prefer
 

ozpoz

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Just read this and I'm so shocked and peed off for you. I'm happy to see h+H rally round and there is some very good advice here. Please follow it up. : )
Don't let this weird person hold you back. You inspired lots of people with your lovely photos.
 

Irish gal

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What has happened is horrific OP. This person has obviously got deep problems, I hope you can find a way now not to let her have such an effect on you. Just because she is unhinged, I know it is extremely hard and so stressful worrying about her spreading rumours, but you must protect yourself.

I second a lot of the great advice here, is there any counselling service you could avail of without it costing an arm and a leg. There are often subsidised services out there that you could use quite cheaply. The counsellor will be able to give you techniques to let what this woman is saying go over your head, so she has less power to distress you. Is very upsetting to hear of such a kind person as yourself being targeted in this way. Please stay strong and don't let her destroy your life - we are all behind you. Hugs xx
 

figgy

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Sending you a hug, please don't let this horrible lady make you give up on what you love. ......I would go to the police and also set up CCTV .
I'm not a million miles away....I know we don't know each other but Im happy to come to you & help in anyway I can.
Keep your head high & stick two fingers up the her !!!!!! Xx xx xxxx
 

hairycob

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Gosh Ebony, if you were in my area I would wonder if we knew the same person. The one I knew had been at the yard town's & I only found out once we were there that she had driven loads of people away. Luckily it turned out that we & the other people who came just after us just ignored her spiteful ways (though one of her antics did lead to me being injured) & in the end she had a mega tantrum & did a flit the next morning. Hold on in there. Just keep saying "oh dear, let me have the incident number son if I get any useful info I can pass it straight to the police". Dark glasses to avoid eye contact & earphones so you can pretend you can't hear are also useful tactics. If you have a smart phone put it on voice record & pop it in your pocket if you think there might be a confrontation. Good luck.
 

luckyoldme

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i moved yards because of someone who sounds very like the ops problem person!
I did nt really like where i was so it was a no brainer, and for a long time afterwards i felt sick when i saw her. Last year she started visiting the house next door and one night just walked straight into my house. In a way it was a turning point for me, I made it known i was bored of her behaviour and any more I would be going to the police. I know i would nt be the first. I think one of the strangest things she did was phone the yo and tell him i had opened the stable doors and let the horses out, (the horses were all in their boxes) When i proved she was lieing she turned the water works on and somehow managed to convince the yo i was a bitch for going out of my way to prove her wrong! She approached my husbnd and tried to convince him i was a bitch, turning on the charm and telling him she did nt have a problem with him! He told her that if she had a problem with me she had a problem with him.,
I have no idea what drives these people, they put a lot of time and energy into making other people unhappy, but i suspect the root of it is jealousy . All i know is i was not the first and most definately won t be the last..no doubt there is someone out there right now who s life she is making a misery,...what a way to live your life!
 

fatpiggy

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I have no idea what drives these people, they put a lot of time and energy into making other people unhappy, but i suspect the root of it is jealousy . All i know is i was not the first and most definately won t be the last..no doubt there is someone out there right now who s life she is making a misery,...what a way to live your life![/QUOTE]

They must lead incredibly petty, boring lives I think and as you say, are jealous of those they see who apparently have "normal" lives. I do think it is a form of mental illness, although that is not to say it automatically excuses them. I've twice had people tell the yard owners that I had done things (which were so ridiculous) to spite them. One said I was preventing people from using the tap outside my stable - since I was at work all day and it took me nearly an hour to get there after work so almost everyone else was finished and gone before I arrived, had I padlocked it or something, and the other claimed I was only putting water in the field for my own horse - in a large trough which could be accessed from two sides, so how could I have prevented her horse from drinking it? To my face though of course though, they were both all sweetness and light because they were both making very good use of me. Weird people and having spent 5 years at an all girls school, not uncommon in the female of the species I'm afraid.
 

Luci07

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She has serious mental issues and I would suspect that an earlier poster got it right when she suggested this woman is jealous of you. She is an awful creature and please don't let her win.

So glad you are fighting back and good suggestions on here. Could I suggest you get this thread moved to the club house though so it can't be found on Google?
 

DD

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^^^^^^
this.
What a Bl&&%^m Awful woman!!!!!! Shes a complete nut job, fruit cake.
Do please tell the Police.
((((HUGS))))
 
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Clodagh

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She has serious mental issues and I would suspect that an earlier poster got it right when she suggested this woman is jealous of you. She is an awful creature and please don't let her win.

So glad you are fighting back and good suggestions on here. Could I suggest you get this thread moved to the club house though so it can't be found on Google?

It wouldn't do the bullying cow any harm to read this and to se what people think of her and her behaviour. There are far too many of these people around.
 

el_Snowflakes

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What a shame- I really feel for you. No idea why some people like to make other miserable but it really says more about her than it does about you. I've only ever had one person try to make trouble for me by telling lies & still have no idea why but I was lucky to be able to cut all ties with that person & put it down to malicious attention seeking behaviour & strangely enough the person disappeared.

Having achieved so much in life, do not let a person of this calibre bring you down. People like this always get caught out. Best wishes x
 

mcnaughty

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OK - I'm not going to pussy foot around here.... She very obviously has some serious issues and you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself and deal with this before it really gets you down. Can I suggest you confront her about all the lies and tell her that you are going to speak to the police to clear up the stories. Its all very well everyone saying poor you and yes they are right but you need to make a decision as to whether you are will for this lady to force you out or if you are going to fight back? Get all your facts together and confront her. It really is the only way with bullies and if you need anyone to stand at your shoulder then make sure they know all the facts too ad that they are intelligent enough to stand their ground without raising voices. Do not go down the route of a shouting match!
 

Merlod

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I had similar happen to me :( even now I am still to scared to put it out there for fear of repurcussion. I typed it all out and then deleted it though I am happy to share it by PM, but here are the best tips

-Don’t move yards or back down (I put my name on a waiting list for another, yard the woman found out so I thought even if I move she’s going to make my life hell still)
-keep evidence of EVERYTHING, I printed off every text message, every facebook status about me, everything about her horse (ie how crippled it was, but the next week she rode it up town, and then how crippled it was again but never a vet visit!)
-Do not retaliate on social media or text, if you do have to reply make it very formal.
- Hand a copy of the evidence to the police and report the threats.. they will give you an incident number and you make damn sure this POS knows that you have this incident recorded against her.
-Lock up as much of your stuff as you can.
-Even though the farmer doesn’t want to get involed (mine didn’t either) keep them updated but don’t get emotional
-This one is really stupid, but the presence of a man does help!
 
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Echo Bravo

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Name and shame her on here and let the rest of us sort her out and does the other livery not realise if you go she will start on her plus the farmer will be losing a good livery after 26 years. Do what the others have said write it all down and contact your community police person and they will give you an number, I know that you are having a bad time with your new mare but seeing what you have gone through over the years and had the guts to carry on when a weaker person would have given up, you will sort this lady out and face it many people on here know you in real life and see you at shows so they know what she says is not true. Chin up and kick ass:)
 

hackedoff

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I would second the idea of getting a police incident report number, and keeping calm and not commenting publicly. I had an awful incident a few years back.when someone decided she didn't like me and assaulted my pony when I tried to ride past her to escape her deluded ranting. I have a police incident number in case of a repeat and now ride with a go pro. I stupidly shouted at her a few months afterwards which made me look like the loose screw as of course poor pony can't back me up by saying that the person grabbed her bit ring and hit her round the head. Aren't some horse "lovers" awful.

Edited to say this made me very stressed about hacking out but then I thought stuff it, the other person would have win their little sad game. I hope you come out the other side of this stronger .
 
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ebonyallen

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Sorry for the late answer, was so tired yesterday went straight to bed. I do feel stronger about everything now and have really taken my time to read through all your great advise that has been given on here and I will make notes now of everything that has happened. Did forget to say because I have no proof of this but a few weeks ago I went up to bring them in for the night and drove up the lane and was met by my two girls and the other nice livery horse which are all in the same field charging down the lane towards my car............. this was horrific and again with the one leg I am not very quick and do not find it easy to walk far, they shot past my car down the road, so I parked up and rang a good friend who lives in the Village lucky for me she was in and came straight away and we got them in I felt sick this has never happened in all the years been there. Then have found both Ebony and Dallas bolts have been undone and tampered with but again no proof mention this to farmer who said it was me who did not close things properly as no one would do this. If you have a problem with me fair enough but to endanger the lives of the horses WHY........... Some of you have said she is Jealous why the hell would she be jealous of me, some days even I do not want to be me lol. She has a way of just getting people to think she is telling the truth and I start to think is it only me that can see her for what she really is, but I did think she was nice until all this started so I was pulled in and then well and truly spat out. A previous livery who has left because of her had her stuff stolen along with hay, feed etc but she just continues to make out she is the victim and people believe her. She put advert up saying selling all horses as giving up because of all the trouble at the yard, which she has caused but again people feel sorry for her and taken in by lies. All I ever did was stand up to her and say please do not accuse me of stealing your tack to her face and since then its turned really nasty Not seen her for weeks as she always comes after dark and really early in the morning, makes you wonder why is sculking about in the dark. All my tack and expensive stuff is either in the car or at home which is a pain but at least I know its safe Thanks again everyone
 
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