Buying a foal and starting a family - Am I mad?!

[HannahBella]

Hi All, I am thinking about buying a foal and having a baby at the same time - Is this a mad thing to do?! My OH and I have bought a house with paddocks and very basic stables and I have a huge urge to fill it! We are trying for a baby at the moment and I just wondered whether anyone had experienced being pregnant/having a baby and trying to bring up a foal. If all goes to plan my baby would be about 3yrs at the time of backing. Is this a crazy idea?! Thanks all

 

[Pearlsacarolsinger]

It's a crazy idea if you are only intending to have a foal on it's own. If you would have a small herd, with another youngster and an older horse to teach them manners and generally look after them, it could work but you might find that there is too much maintenance to do at the same time as looking after a baby/toddler

 

[Widgeon]

Ooh heck the thought fills me with horror and I have minimal experience of both babies and foals! The foal will need the company of other foals, so you'd really need it on youngstock livery at a local stud or breeders'. So your setup doesn't sound ideal for that reason alone (regardless of how nice your facilities are). Also surely you will be moderately knackered with your own baby / toddler, so even if you bought an older youngster, would you be able to commit to the regular sessions it would need? And there's always the risk of getting decked, which you wouldn't want to do with a baby to care for.

Could you contact the Blue Cross and foster a couple of older ponies instead? They have loads of cute little hairies that could live in your paddocks and need basic care and cuddles.

 

[honetpot]

The biggest thing with young stock, is suitable company for them, and the cost of keeping them until they are four, not every youngster is suitable to be broken at three. They need to be out socialising with a suitable companion, so depending on your land you need to plan that at least the two will have the same management system. Mine live out or in open sheds, they only come in for the farrier or the vet, in their bubble.

 

[PinkvSantaboots]

I would aim for 2 older well behaved horses that will be less work, please don't keep a foal on there own, there is a thread on here about a 2 year old that has just had an accident that is living on her own.

 

[Littlebear]

I had my baby and put my mare in foal so the foal and my child have grown up at the same time, the foal did grow up in a foal herd (I wouldn't have done that any other way) it timed out that my child would start school at the time mine was ready to come in and be backed etc and that's worked really well.
If you are prepared to not have the foal at home and let it be somewhere else or similar arrangement then it could work x

 

[Lipglosspukka]

No I don't think it's mad. There is no reason your 3yo child shouldn't be in a half decent enough routine by then plus they will be starting play school which will give you more horse time.

I echo others though, babies do need other babies to play with. That said, I barely touch my youngsters. I have them in the stable a few weeks for halter breaking, getting used to a bucket etc and then they live out with not much more than a daily kiss on the nose, so I don't see why you couldn't have two, let them grow on together and then sell one when you are ready to start the one you want to keep.

 

[AUB]

Not at all. I bought a young horse when my son was 15 months. Has worked out fine!

 

[HeyMich]

I wouldn't get a foal if I were you, trust me, when the baby brain kicks in you'll barely remember you name, let alone manage to look after a young, possibly needy foal, plus it's companions.

If you really want to fill your stables, why don't you get a couple of Shetland ponies. That way, when Junior is 2 or 3, you and Junior could spend time grooming and sitting on them, which will be lovely and less stressful than a stroppy youngster going through teenage years!

 

[ihatework]

If you have enough experience, time, land and money to look after 2 foals and an older nanny then maybe.

But your post doesn’t read as though that’s what you were planning, so no it wouldn’t be a good idea.

I like the idea of getting a couple of charity fluffies if you feel you need the paddocks filled

 

[gallopingby]

It depends how much experience you have! Good idea to plan ahead but if this is new to you better to go with older and easily managed, much more fun that way.

 

[HannahBella]

Hey All, thanks for your replies. I already have two resident fluffies so the foal would be number 3. Really helpful comments but I still can't make a decision!

 

[Equi]

Buy some chickens, they always add entertainment value. If this is your first baby I think you underestimate how time consuming it is and looking after three horses (one being young and needing literally every bit of learning from you) will be very very time consuming.

 

[Maesto's Girl]

I bought a foal this year (i have had her for 3 weeks) and am starting to try for a family next summer so similar. However the foal will be almost 2 by the time a baby arrives and that's if I fall pregnant straight away. I made sure i had the right set up though. She is currently out with a foal of a similar age, and an older mare is arriving next month so will act as a bit of a 'nanny'. Both the babies have the same routine and care needs so it works well, and the owner of the other foal also goes down daily. I was in the fortunate position that everything fell into place. I would say yes, you can get one but it would need to be somewhere else with other babies

 

[sport horse]

If you have never had foals/youngstock before I would not have thought it very sensible to start while you have a baby. It is one thing having young children about ponies/horses but absolutely not with youngstock whose behaviour can be, to say the least, unpredicatable.

 

[HannahBella]

I think I've made my mind up that its not a good idea. Its just so frustrating. I am totally horse mad and have never been able to totally fulfil my love of it - its like an intense itch that I cannot scratch! My family were not horsey and I spent my childhood at boarding school from 7 - 16 so never had the opportunity to ride much. In the holidays I worked as a racing and eventing groom and rode at every opportunity. As soon as I could afford it at 18 years old I got a weekend job and got a horse on loan as had no capital to buy. Since then I've been on the career path, working 70 hour weeks and producing young event horses in any spare time I could find. Now, I'm part time, I have space, time and the money and I still can't do it. There is always something in the way! Thanks all

 

[Widgeon]

I think I've made my mind up that its not a good idea....Now, I'm part time, I have space, time and the money and I still can't do it. There is always something in the way! Thanks all

Do you have to buy a foal though? Could you buy an older horse, maybe a capable cobby type who you could have a nice time hacking and doing low level competing as and when you can as the baby grows up? Then once your child is older you can always trade in for a more sporty and capable model if you have the time and money. If I was in your situation I would go straight out and start looking for a nice established sensible riding horse (haha! it sounds so easy!) so you can have some fun without the pressure of needing to ride something sporty every day.

 

[HannahBella]

Do you have to buy a foal though? Could you buy an older horse, maybe a capable cobby type who you could have a nice time hacking and doing low level competing as and when you can as the baby grows up? Then once your child is older you can always trade in for a more sporty and capable model if you have the time and money. If I was in your situation I would go straight out and start looking for a nice established sensible riding horse (haha! it sounds so easy!) so you can have some fun without the pressure of needing to ride something sporty every day.

Good plan but a cobby type just doesn't do it for me haha! I would rather not ride than ride a plod. It would also cost me more initially to buy something established. I had my eye on a Hanoverian dressage foal. Perhaps a middle of the road would work like a connie x - sensible but with a bit of zing?! Or . . . I might start saving up now and then in 4-5 years time I can buy something with more dosh behind me. Why can't I be into golf or something?! I would be so much easier haha. A little more patience could be my friend here. Thanks so much again. So so helpful

 

[Littlebear]

I think I've made my mind up that its not a good idea. Its just so frustrating. I am totally horse mad and have never been able to totally fulfil my love of it - its like an intense itch that I cannot scratch! My family were not horsey and I spent my childhood at boarding school from 7 - 16 so never had the opportunity to ride much. In the holidays I worked as a racing and eventing groom and rode at every opportunity. As soon as I could afford it at 18 years old I got a weekend job and got a horse on loan as had no capital to buy. Since then I've been on the career path, working 70 hour weeks and producing young event horses in any spare time I could find. Now, I'm part time, I have space, time and the money and I still can't do it. There is always something in the way! Thanks all

I do both, its fine! I think the only thing i would be concerned about is how you will feel after having the baby, you cant really know yet some people cope really well and have easy babies and others can suffer with depression, have more tricky babies to deal with etc its a total unknown for you at the moment.
I will say that you wont believe how much your child is going to want to be involved with the horses especially from age 2 upwards, they want to stroke them, brush them, sit on them and everything else, plus they will be doing all sorts of gesticulations that might spook them, your priorities will change toward your child also, more than you can believe until you have one.
A sensible older horse is a good idea but as i said, its worked fine for me, i had older ones (one spanish, one warmblood so no cobby types here) The foal is a German wb also so similar to what you are after. They are all absolute total gems with my child, he learnt to ride on my bigger ones, did fancy dress and kids classes on my wb, they look after him so well, they change demeanour and are very careful. It is absolutely do able, its just the keeping of a foal away from other foals would be my only concern out of all of it.

 

[Widgeon]

Perhaps a middle of the road would work like a connie x - sensible but with a bit of zing?! Or . . . I might start saving up now and then in 4-5 years time I can buy something with more dosh behind me. Why can't I be into golf or something?! I would be so much easier haha. A little more patience could be my friend here. Thanks so much again. So so helpful

That sounds sensible (I know cobs aren't for everyone!) - thing is if you buy a solid horse you can always sell it on if it turns out to be not working for you - a nice Connie x would always sell easily. I guess I just mean, don't entirely write off other options if specific route of buying a foal isn't going to work for you right now. I do agree with Littlebear, it's the idea of keeping the foal without other foals that seems like the biggest logistical problem

 

[Not_so_brave_anymore]

Is your OH competent? And/or would you have anyone on hand to help if you were incapacitated for weeks (months?) on end by morning sickness, or a C-section, or PND? You will almost certainly need more help than you think- which is not a bad thing at all as long as you can afford it!

(I don't mean to sound doom and gloom! People have babies all the time and get on with it. But it's not always as easy as they make out)

Would it just be easier just to save for three years and then buy a ready-to-back youngster (if you still feel like you want it!)

You might find that actually you want two kids close in age, and that it makes more sense to get a youngster once your family is settled.

Of course, if you buy something nice (and you don't screw it up royally!) you can always sell it on if it's all too much.

 

[HannahBella]

I think I would either feel guilty that I am not giving my baby/OH enough time or that I am wasting my horse! I would also worry about having an accident. I don’t have too much help around me but could pay for it occasionally. Full livery costs are wayyy out of my reach.

Do you think my mini shetlands wouldn’t cut the mustard in terms of company for a foal? They are very sweet.

Thanks again everyone! You have given me a firm but fair reality check

 

[Pearlsacarolsinger]

You might not be so keen on a mount with a bit of zing, when you are a parent. It's not the case for everyone but some parents become very risk averse when they realise that their own children rely on them 24/7.

 

[Nudibranch]

Trust me, your sense of self preservation will increase massively once you have a baby. You become very aware of their dependence on you and the overriding urge not to make them an orphan kicks in. There are loads of alternatives to buying a foal. And the baby WILL take up a lot more time than you expect.
There's also every chance they might not be particularly interested in horses themselves. Mine isn't! He's happy to plod around on the lead rein but that's all, and I'm not going to force it on him. Makes my life easier if he isnt horsey tbh!

 

[Tarragon]

I thought it would be a good idea to buy a two year old when I had a six month old baby, thinking that it would be nice for them to grow up together. Pony was on livery at a stud, so pony's welfare was sorted, BUT I found I didn't have the time I needed, so no, it wasn't a great idea for me. It didn't work out as I had imagined.
Plus, as the baby was 6 months old, I already knew she was a healthy and uncomplicated baby! And then I was pregnant with number two before 18 months was up.

 

[Not_so_brave_anymore]

How about getting a nice pair of well established (ie a bit older and cheaper) been there done it driving ponies?! Big enough that you can break them to ride, small enough to make a great LR/FR for a potential child, old enough to be chucked in a field for a few months if necessary without "going backwards".

(just thinking this might be a nice horsey project to get your teeth into, probably something new to learn, something you can continue enjoying with a child, and something you can pick up and put down as necessary unlike a foal/youngster)

 

[rascal]

Not all cobs are plods, i had a couple who were a long way from that, someone we know had a cob who did cross country and working hunter classes, another was a real handful, not quiet or a plod at all, depends on the horse.

 

[CanteringCarrot]

I would stick with what you have now. If you've had the baby and things are going well and you think you can take on an additional animal, then do it then.

Or you can buy a foal and toss it into a herd of youngsters at a stud and not be bothered with it for a few years. They really do need suitable company. Some have put a weanling with a companion horse that is older, and sometimes it works I suppose.

Then if you should be in bed rest or have anything else that prevents you from being active, can your OH sort them out daily without your assistance?

I would wait though. See how you feel after having a child. See what you actually have time, energy, and mental capacity for.

 

[sport horse]

You say you cannot afford to buy something older but have you any idea of the prices of a 'hanoverian Dressage foal'? If you are as experienced as you say maybe someone would loan you a high level competition horse in need of a lower level lifestyle? You also would serioulsy not want a top class dressage youngster with a child about - they can be quite highly strung! If none of these ideas appeal then yes, save, save and save some more now and then budget will not limit your choises when you finally go shopping!!

 

[HannahBella]

You say you cannot afford to buy something older but have you any idea of the prices of a 'hanoverian Dressage foal'? If you are as experienced as you say maybe someone would loan you a high level competition horse in need of a lower level lifestyle? You also would serioulsy not want a top class dressage youngster with a child about - they can be quite highly strung! If none of these ideas appeal then yes, save, save and save some more now and then budget will not limit your choises when you finally go shopping!!

That’s the problem! I’ve found one that I can afford that looks perfect. Beautiful temperament and great bloodlines. It’s hard to say no when it’s just within my reach. But I absolutely agree that it would be a too young, big and powerful horse to have around children. I do ride for a lady up the road too - it helps but it’s not the same. I think I was excited by the prospect of bringing up a foal. The connection training, the games, the bonding etc. Its something I find fascinating. But again, maybe I need to continue to be patient and save and then it will be even more rewarding when the time is right. I think bringing up a family and a foal might send me over the edge haha. Thanks your thoughts - super helpful!