Buying a horse with my boyfriend - ownership?

[Marilyn91]

Hey forum folks, I need your wisdom ?

My boyfriend and I have a lovely horse on part loan and the owner has asked if we want to buy her. She's amazing so we said a big fat yes! But here's the confusing part.

I own a 6 year old mare and my boyfriend started taking lessons just over a year ago. The idea was for him to lease a horse at the same yard where mine is kept so we could ride out together. He has ridden her a few times but due to a foot injury (not horse related) he has been out of action for a while so I have been riding my own horse and the loan horse.

On one hand, since I already have a horse it would make more sense to let him have the second one. On the other hand, I've really fallen in love with her myself. He can only afford her if I help him out, whereas I could afford to buy her outright, and I think a lot of the work and responsibility will be down to me. I feel like I have more of a bond with her, but maybe I'm being selfish by wanting both horses for myself.

We've been together for 7 years so in a way it shouldn't matter who owns her on paper. I'm also considering co-owner ship but I'm not sure that's a thing.

What do you think? Anyone else bought a horse with someone else - how did you handle it?

 

[ihatework]

The commitment-phobic in me says avoid joint ownership, one or the other. Cleaner for all concerned in case of break up.

If he can’t afford to buy outright then I’d suggest the horse is in your name.

 

[The Xmas Furry]

if you felt you could cope with all the physical and financial implications of a 2nd horse, then buy for yourself.
Split ownership very rarely works out well, even with 'water tight' contracts.

 

[smolmaus]

I am making an assumption here that he started riding because of you and your interest. If the relationship (God forbid) was to end at some point in the future, would he still want to have his own horse and would he have the money, time and skills to care for her? If the bulk of the responsibility will be yours I think the horse should also be yours on paper.

Joint ownership sounds like a nightmare honestly. I think one person needs to have final say.

 

[exracehorse]

I bought Beau many years ago. That was joint ownership. They has separated at sale. When I went to change his passport to my name it was complicated as he needed to sign as well. Which he refused. The lady had to write to the passport office to advise she was separated from her husband. But if he had contested I.E sale of horse. It would have been messy.

 

[Barton Bounty]

Agree…. On one hand your really lucky he likes to ride and wants to come with you… on the second joint is a bad idea… so just you own her and he can be on a loan basis with your bf!

 

[JumpTheMoon1]

Together for 7 years and not married ??? Relationships can turn sour even when you think they never will.Never share ownership as all can be fine one minute and all hell breaks loose the next - then you have a heap of problems.
Buy the horse for yourself - he can still ride it once the injury has healed.

 

[PinkvSantaboots]

I would say it would make more sense if you bought the horse and he just helps you and rides with you a bit like a sharer and help with the cost of keeping them both, joint ownership is tricky have known lots of fall outs and arguments occur in the past it doesn't always end well.

 

[paddy555]

my boyfriend and I bought our first horse together. Neither of us could afford it alone. Problem was then that neither of us could give up the horse so we had to get married.

 

[sunleychops]

I speak from experience.


Don't do it

 

[JBM]

I have a joint owned horse but literally everything is left to me..it works out well as joint ownership was only decided so the other person could learn..horse is in my name and 0 problems because I’m doing all the work
Horse needs retrained before she can even ride him

 

[Squeak]

If you hadn’t been together long then I would definitely have said don’t do it but assuming you are fairly happy and settled together I’m not sure it would be a bad idea to joint own.

It depends how serious your bf is to ride though. If he is serious about it then chances are he’ll feel more involved if it’s his horse too and more likely to do more with it. I have a horsey oh and being able to go out on rides and support each other training and competing etc is great.

 

[PurBee]

Mine are joint owned with very longterm partner of 20+yrs - we did that because if anything should happen to either of us, the other is legal owner of them and has full rights what to do next. We’re both on the same page about horse-care ideals etc and he knows how to care for them, and can do all the work himself if he had to, although i mainly do the work now, make decisions, he helps a lot too, and has learnt so much along the way.

Your partner sounds very inexperienced about their care, and that would be a concern, should you, god forbid, split-up and you know he has a horse he cant really care for and there’s nothing you can legally do for the horses well-being.
How much does he do/pay for with the current loan horse?- if he’s day-to-day involved in paying and caring for the horse already (before the foot injury) - is it safe to assume he’ll be equally as involved once the horse is bought, especially if he part purchased her with you? Those questions id need answering to make up my mind, in your situation.

If he is going to be paying for the horse purchase, the upkeep costs, and doing the work to care for the horse, its only fair he should be a named owner.

 

[Pippity]

I used to work with a woman who bought a horse with her boyfriend. He had the money and she had the knowledge. Unfortunately, they split up a year or so after buying the horse. She couldn't afford the horse; the boyfriend absolutely adored the horse and did his best to learn enough to keep her, but she was a sharp ex-racer who'd gone straight from her last race to the couple, and he couldn't cope. It was a disaster for all concerned.

In your case, as you have both the money and the knowledge, I'd suggest that the horse is yours and your boyfriend loans her from you.

 

[Peglo]

I don’t think your being selfish. If you can afford 2 horses I think you should buy her. You can always loan to your BF if he wants more responsibility and to do the daily work. If he isn’t that bothered then you own a lovely horse and have a great hacking partner.

on the other hand I’m not very good at sharing my pets. I’ve been with OH for over 12 years and engaged for 8 but the cats are all still mine.. even though they only cost me £40 ? I could likely give him a cockerel if he really wanted. ??

 

[Widgeon]

He can only afford her if I help him out, whereas I could afford to buy her outright, and I think a lot of the work and responsibility will be down to me.

If that's the case - particularly the financial bit - then you should buy her and perhaps even have a formal "loan" agreement with your partner. She'll be dependent on your for the provision and financing of her care.

 

[AntiPuck]

I would suggest you buy the horse (if you genuinely want to), and then loan her to your boyfriend until he has the funds to buy her off of you (should you then want to sell her to him).

Can he cover the running costs on his own, and does he plan to do all of the work? Could you cover the costs and do all of the work on you own if he were to lose interest?

I'd want all of that clarified ahead of time, because you are taking on the risk of vets bills etc. if you are the legal owner.

 

[Mrs. Jingle]

Together for 7 years and not married ???

My goodness how very rude and judgemental - you sound just like my late MIL! I have no idea what the marital status of most posters on here is and really do not think it is any of my business.

 

[The Xmas Furry]

My goodness how very rude and judgemental - you sound just like my late MIL! I have no idea what the marital status of most posters on here is and really do not think it is any of my business.

Mrs J, that poster is wandering into many threads and throwing in a one liner - usually insulting in one way or another. Shame some of the schools are out, as its obviously a bored teen looking for a rise, or DR back again.....

 

[Mrs. Jingle]

Thank you for the heads up Ff, I am a bit behind with forum who's who lately but catching up now

 

[meleeka]

Put the horse in your name and loan to your OH. Just explain that it’s easier if you buy and he pays for the upkeep.

 

[Barton Bounty]

my boyfriend and I bought our first horse together. Neither of us could afford it alone. Problem was then that neither of us could give up the horse so we had to get married.

I love that!!!

 

[Jenko109]

Together for 7 years and not married ???

My partner and I have been together 8 years and never married. We are also about to start trying for a baby.

I bet that really grinds your gears.

 

[Annagain]

Do you own a house together? If not, maybe the best way to phrase it so you don't upset him is he needs to keep his savings so they can go towards a deposit for a house so it's best if you buy her on your own as you need to contribute 50-50 to a future home?

 

[Barton Bounty]

wish my hubby would come riding

 

[smolmaus]

My partner and I have been together 8 years and never married. We are also about to start trying for a baby.

I bet that really grinds your gears.

I get the feeling that poster doesn't have many gears to be working with tbh.

 

[Marilyn91]

I am making an assumption here that he started riding because of you and your interest. If the relationship (God forbid) was to end at some point in the future, would he still want to have his own horse and would he have the money, time and skills to care for her? If the bulk of the responsibility will be yours I think the horse should also be yours on paper.

Joint ownership sounds like a nightmare honestly. I think one person needs to have final say.

He got into horses through helping me with my horse. He's pretty serious about it though, up til his injury he was taking lessons 3 times per week! I'm sure he would continue even if we split up. In fact it's probably the best way to meet a new woman ?

He can afford the running costs, but because of his job I'm not sure he really has the time for his own horse. When we negotiated the loan agreement he wanted to only ride at the weekend, whereas I'm at the yard nearly every day. The horses are at full livery and out in the field all day, so I guess he doesn't need to be there every day, but especially in winter I'm not sure how he would manage without me (or another sharer).

The horse needs a new saddle and the chiropractor, for example, and I'm sure it will be me handling these things because I have the time and the contacts. But maybe I should give him the reins and let him learn.

 

[Marilyn91]

Together for 7 years and not married ??? Relationships can turn sour even when you think they never will.Never share ownership as all can be fine one minute and all hell breaks loose the next - then you have a heap of problems.
Buy the horse for yourself - he can still ride it once the injury has healed.

Haha, I've actually never been interested in marriage (or human kids) mostly because I don't like weddings but situations like this do make me wonder if it would make sense. Then again, I've always been a bit sceptical because I've seen other people get married, and divorced, and married again, and... You get the idea.

 

[Marilyn91]

my boyfriend and I bought our first horse together. Neither of us could afford it alone. Problem was then that neither of us could give up the horse so we had to get married.

Oh wow, congrats! Glad that worked out.

 

[meleeka]

The horse needs a new saddle and the chiropractor, for example, and I'm sure it will be me handling these things because I have the time and the contacts. But maybe I should give him the reins and let him learn.

Will you be willing to do most of the care? I don’t think it should be a case of you reluctantly helping him out with his horse. If you are happy to do most of the day to day stuff, I think you should probably own the horse.