Calling all horse psychologists - help needed please

[deb_l222]

I'm very new to the forum but could really do with some advice, suggestions or just an online shoulder to cry on

How much do you think all the comings and goings of other horses on a livery yard messes with another horses head?

At the moment I'm at my wits end as my mare is refusing to leave her stable in the morning and go out into the field. She's gone from practically opening the door herself to just going and standing at the back, as soon as she sees the headcollar coming!!

Over the last few months (since September ish) there's been 9 different horses come and gone in her field and I now think it's starting to mess with her head - well I know it is. She's had to cope with 2 riggy geldings trying to mount the mares, a youngster that used to break out of the field (caused by the rig attacking him) and the death of her beloved mare best friend. Plus the other general comings and goings.

There's one mare that is a constant in her life but she doesn't go out as early as Lucy in the morning and I think this is why she's wanting to stay in (she's stabled next to her). I can put her out with Lucy as well (with owners permission) but my question is - am I just making the problem worse by doing this? Or does she need stability right now?

Sorry this is a long first post but I feel so bad for her as she's gone from a very lively happy girl, who thrived on her routine, to looking quite depressed most days (although when she is out with the other mare she is very happy).

I really don't want to leave my current yard as it's literally 2 minutes away from home and everything else is perfect, apart from all this faffing about!!

Deb

 

[ThePony]

Goodness, sounds like she has had alot to deal with! One of our mares gets quite upset and unsettled with horses coming and going on the yard, and she doesn't even have to share a field with them!!

Is it possible for her to have a more consistent set of field buddies? As a short term solution, maybe turn them out together to help her find more confidence in actually leaving her stable. Hopefully the herd will settle down, or you will be able to sort out something suitable longer term regarding a consistent set of turnout friends for her.

 

[amandap]

To be really honest I think getting someone professional out to see you both is the best way to go. It's so hard to see clearly when there is so much going on and you're naturally worried and upset. I would recommend someone off this list. Many do travel so contact your nearest. It really is worth the money getting someone independent and experienced out.
http://www.intelligenthorsemanship.co.uk/specialist-horse-training.html

There are other great people out there but I have used someone off this list.

 

[Wagtail]

I think you already have your answer: she wants to be with this other mare. I would do my utmost to accommodate that. Turn them both out together if you can. A week or so of this consistency and I'm sure you will have your lovely outgoing mare back.

 

[Rouletterose]

Turn her out with the othr mare for a few weeks until she gets her confidence back again, she has had an awful lot to deal with and she needs the comfort/security of the other horse she knows.

 

[Tammytoo]

Welcome to the forum.

Your poor mare - her world is constantly changing and if she needs the security of her stable mate then do turn them out together. Some horses cope better than others with the comings and goings of different horses and if she is missing her late friend, it would seem common sense to reduce her stress as much as you can by allowing her to be turned out with her new friend. I also find that having a good regular routine helps to re-assure them, if they know that some things, like feed and turnout , are always going to happen at a certain time, it helps them to cope more with the unexpected.

You certainly won't be making the situation worse so do whatever it takes to make her happy again.

 

[soulfull]

Welcome to HH we are all mad though

I agree with the others that turning them out together, you may even have to turn the other mare out first so yours wants to go out (hopefully) this would also tell you for sure if this is the problem

Once she seems settled I would then alter things gradually so she doesn't panic. I would alter them though otherwise you run the risk of her being totally dependant on the other mare

 

[Puzzles]

I agree with the general consensus that turning your mare out with the other mare may help to reduce her anxiety and stress levels. Her experiences sound very unfortunate, but at least they aren't still present problems themselves. I'm sure that over time, with a regular routine and quiet, civil companions, your mare will begin to develop more positive associations with being turned out.
Good luck

 

[Ladyinred]

Mares are much more sensitive than geldings (not anything against geldings here) and also often quicker to let you know they are not happy. I agree to turning her out with the mare she knows to rebuild her confidence. Once she has relaxed again go back to turning her out on her own and lengthening the time before you turn out the other mare until eventually she will realise that she will be OK and that the other mare will be there at some stage.

Try to be careful that you are not projecting your feelings about the comings and goings onto your girl. Tis easily done!!

 

[Goldenstar]

I think you already have your answer: she wants to be with this other mare. I would do my utmost to accommodate that. Turn them both out together if you can. A week or so of this consistency and I'm sure you will have your lovely outgoing mare back.

I aggree this is what I would do first and see what happens .

 

[amandap]

If this yard is going to remain so 'busy' something else to consider is moving to a more stable quiet yard.

 

[deb_l222]

Thank you all so much for your comments - couldn't agree more that mares do seem to be more sensitive when it comes to herd structure and instinct.

I think my mare may well have answered the question for me:-

Yesterday I made her go out - didn't have to use force or anything daft. Just had to encourage her from the back of the stable. Sophie (her stable mate) was still in.

Today I've left her in and gone back after lunch to see if Sophie had been turned out - indeed she had and there was Lucy raring to go out!!

Yes, I think the answer is to put some stability back in her life and ask Sophie's owners if I can turn them both out together for a while.

I do wonder as well if a lot of this is about losing status in a herd as well and she's just getting fed up of having to stamp her place in the hierarcy every few weeks - who knows?