Can I improve his ad?

R

Ranyhyn

Well-Known Member
Joined
21 November 2008
Messages
21,273
Location
Funny farm
Visit site
http://www.horsemart.co.uk/advert/13_yrs_16_2_hh_chestnut_irish_sport_horse_glamorgan/58875

Hope this link works. If I cannot find a decent sharer or loaner for my boy soon, he will have to be sold
frown.gif


I haven't had much interest from his advert, is there anything I can do to make it better, as after all you guys are the best critics.

Kitty
grin.gif
 
Need better photos! And more details of how he has done in SJ/XC competitions - ie goes clear and at what height (presume the 3'3" is the height he is jumping at home)?
 
he looks nice
pictures could probs do with a change
the jumping ones seem quite dark and shadowy (mite just be my computer) also what about putting a flatwork picture in if he goes nicely on the flat
does he have the potential to do some dressage? is he well schooled?
maybe change your main pic to one where he is showing himself better?
smile.gif
 
Ed has taken part in fun rides, sj, xc and shows. He's hunted for seven seasons in both the UK and Ireland. He is jumping 3ft 3 tracks with scope to go further. Ed is confident, bold and scopey over a fence but is still easy to ride. Excellent to hack, load, clip and shoe. Ed is vacinnated, passported and is happy to live in a mixed herd or a group of gelding. A five star home where this lovely lad will be loved is essential.

Much the same as you've put but half the wording and more to the point. I take it the 3ft 3 you say he is jumping is over tracks and not a single fence at home! Personalising your horse by calling him a 'lovely lad' and by mentioning his name a few times in the advert pulls at the old heart strings so the fact that he is 13 won't be considered such an issue. You could maybe put 13 years young and open to full vetting (if appropriate) as this will always encourage people. I for one, and this is only my personal opinion you understand, wouldn't want to buy a 13 year old as a competition prospect, I would much rather have a seven year old, so you need to maybe mention price due to age, although I know 13 isn't considered very old these days. Maybe add something about tack/rugs included to add value.

Good luck, he looks a lovely chap.
 
'Ed has SJ/XC/HT and done local fun rides and shows. He has hunted for 7 seasons in both the UK and Ireland. He is jumping up to 3ft3 with current rider with the scope to go futher. He gives you great confidence and is bold and scopey over a fence. He is a bombproof hack alone or in company, past all traffic. He loads perfectly on a box or trailer and falls asleep to clip and shoe. He is fully vaccinated and passported. He can live in or out with geldings or a mixed herd. A 5* home is a must for this much loved horse.'

have tidied it up a bit. and changed it to hunted!
flatwork, no mention off and no pics either.
I would take off passported as he has to be so irrelevant am thinking of anything else!
 
jumping pics aren't very clear

if you say jumping 3'3 with rider I would like to see a pic of him jumping that, - cant tell height of jump in the roof pic he looks to have a lovely jump and I don't think those pics are doing him justice.
 
Why not put that you would also consider loaning or LWVTB???

He'd probably suit an adult first time owner at that age if he is reliable but still has a bit more potential and LWVTB might appeal to that category of buyer as it gives them (and you) an extra safety net. He sounds like the sort of horse that lots of first timers should look for rather than buying a 5 year old they can't cope with!
 
Ok thanks everyone, I do agree photos are cacky, I have one of him HTing (should I add?)

If the right person came I would considering loan with a view, as his home is paramount and I was given a similar chance when I bought him. I will add open to full vetting as he flew his previous one. I also have back and teeth reciepts from 05 (is anyone interested in these i wonder?)

He;s a gem, I am truly gutted to even have to think of selling him, but competent loaners/sharers seem to be hot property at the mo, still, I have a lady coming on Sun and hopefully she will be ideal and I can take him off the market
grin.gif
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top