Can someone PLEASE give me the kick up the backside I need

phantomhorse

phantomhorse

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but don't seem able to give myself :(

I need to loose weight. Im DESPERATE to loose weight. But for some reason I just cannot stop eating. Its driving me nuts. Wheres my self control gone? I get the munchies and just never feel full until I feel sick. Then I spend the rest of the time feel sick, bloated and tired. All completely self inflicted.

I have a 16.2 TBx four year old that I NEED to ride but Im afraid Im too heavy for him so havent ridden him all summer. This is ridiculous. Im feeling really depressed about it - and feeling terribly guilty about my horse not being ridden and getting the experience he needs at this age.

Ive had horses all my life but have never been overweight. Im now in my mid forties and am about 5 stone too heavy for my height. I just HAVE to get myself sorted or I may as well give up and sell my poor horse.

Kick up the ar&se appreciated. Please form an orderly queue.
 
Loosing weight is hard, but you CAN do it!! Its all about the will power, if you want to do it enough then you will.

Maybe keep reminding yourself of the health implications it can cause, not just on yourself but your horse! If you think you're to heavy for him and want to actually be able to ride him surely thats incentive enough!!

YOU CAN DO IT!!! Now put down that piece of cake you're munching on!!!! :D
 
I refuse to give you a kick up the arse!

You have to change your mind set and become more positive. Set yourself a small weekly goal, start with very simple changes and stick to them until they become a habit and move on to another. Maybe for 1 week you have a small salad with every meal, or only have 1 small glass of wine in the evening...

You can also try using a smaller plate? use smaller cutlery? drinking a sip of water between mouthfuls? not watch TV when you're eating, so you concentrate on your food? chew a certain number of times? Have a weekly menu that you eat from and ONLY have that stuff in the house. I also find that if I get a craving then hot orange squash makes it go far far away!! (and it makes you suck your cheeks in so you look really skinny!)

My mum has exactly the same issues and she lost 6 stone simply because her head was in the right place to do it and she was feeling more positive about herself.

Think about yourself as you think about your horse... You never pull your horse along, you always push from behind! You need to stop beating yourself up and be more positive so you can surge forwards!!!

Also I am looking for a walking/ swimming buddy if you're anywhere near Lincolnshire?!
 
I'd recommend Slimming World, I never had a weight problem until recently and didn't fancy the idea at all but a few friends were going, all with huge success, and the accountability every week really makes you focussed. I lost just over a stone in 3 months and only stopped because of being hospitalised following a nasty fall and long recouperation. Would really like to do another stone and feel I may have to go back to focus myself again. They are really non judgemental and teach lots of useful slimming tips and I don't know anyone who hasn't lost their goal weight. Good luck, sounds like you are in a bad place and once you start losing you will feel so proud of yourself which will inspire you even more :-)
 
Health implications... yes, Ive started wheezing and puffing when I walk up the stairs. God, how bad is that????? :eek: I feel like Im 80 not 44.

I think Im set in some sort of self-destruct mode. What else could it be? Ive had this horse since a foal and have waited 4 years to back and ride him. Youd think that would have been incentive enough. Whats the matter with me :(:mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:

When I backed him in April he carried me fine (Im 13 stone) as we only rode for very short periods, but whenever I passed a window and saw my reflection I just saw a big fat cow riding a beautiful horse. I just felt embarrassed looking at myself :(
 
In all honesty...you're half way there just by posting. That's half the battle won already, so that should already be making you feel more motivated and positive about the situation. I know what you mean about not feeling full, I'm the same, but I'm very lucky in that I'm not currently overweight, I just respond quickly when I see it coming on. You have got the will power, you just don't trust yourself to use it. Apart from the horse, consider your health, which will suffer. And maybe start by just knocking a bit off each bit you eat, and for everything you eat, you have to walk for 5 minutes. That's a useful way of introducing a little control, and getting some exercise.
 
I'm pretty sure that the more you focus on not eating food the more you want to!

I'd second the smaller plate size and also making meal times just that, make yourself sit down at the table, focus on just eating - not watching tv or reading and allow yourself to enjoy your food without feeling guilty, guilt will just make you want to comfort eat even more. If you are genuinely hungry in between meals then have something healthy.

I'm in my mid forties too and find that it is much easier to put weight on now, and much harder to get it off, I'm pretty sure that hormones have a part to play and a small amount of weight around the midle is supposed to help with the menopause as it stores a source of oestrogen, so I do think that our bodies conspire against us at this time.

Another thing is to make sure you are properly hydrated and try to up your exercise, and never go shopping when you're hungry! :)

Good luck, I'm sure you can do it.
 
I find that telling myself im on a diet makes it worse! :mad:

I was in the same position as you - i was unfit and found climbing stairs agonizing (have to do stair checks in work which involves minimum 5 sets at 150 stairs a set. some checks are 9 staircases at around 20 steps so 180).

I've started exercising :rolleyes: I drag my fat ass to the gym minimum three time a week on top of riding five times and I hired a personal trainer to make sure I'm not slacking :o he made me cry today!
Now I just need to sort the diet but it's do-able if I'm organised :cool:

Small steps :)
I couldn't run the length of myself last year :o and I can now leg press 110kg so chin up! If i can do it, so can you :)

If you're looking for a "diet buddy", then feel free to PM me
 
Have you thought about having a bit of counselling. My husband is very overweight (4/5 stone), it has been building up over the past years with stress, young children etc. He has never been able to get his head in the right place to deal with it (and he also pressed the self destruct button). He always said his weight issue is in his mind and having been to counselling for the last few months, has now got his head straight to tackle his weight. He feels the NHS would be better off offering people counselling than gastric bands, diets etc.

Good luck. Husband has now joined a gym and has booked himself into classes and appointments with personal trainers etc so that he has strict times to adher to rather than just "going to the gym" because he knows he will have an excuse not to go. He is getting very motivated now and is noticing the change quite quickly.
 
You can do it, but i agree you have to change your mind set. It is difficult when there is so much temptation in the way. I too had a similar problem when i took the pill, it made me feel hungry all the time, put on 1 1/2 stone. its been months since i stopped taking it but its taking longer than it usually does to shift :mad:.

Now when i'm tempted to eat something i know i shouldn't, i take my self out for a brisk walk instead. Also i don't go down the sweety or cake or chocolate or crisp isles in the shops anymore :( Sometimes i don't even bother going into supermarkets cause everything you see is junk.

Also i read somewhere that in winter(nearly here) that if you dont put your heating on it helps you lose weight cause your body burns more fat trying to keep your body temperature up.

But you can do it, weight watchers seem to be popular, but avoid their own branded food cause even though they are low in fat the are crammed full of sugar making it pointless and rotts your teeth.
 
Trouble4125 said:
It sounds like your confidence has suffered a huge knock- a TB will carry 13 stone no problem! You're not racing him!
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Yeah, youre probably right although I am conscious that hes still very much a baby. Wouldnt be so bad if he was somewhat older and fit. And I know 13 stone on some people, TALL people!, wouldnt look too bad; but Im 5'2 and it looks BADDDDD. I look like a troll sat up on my horse. No joke. And you want to see me trying to mount with my fat, stubby little legs. Poor horse. Thank God hes patient at the mounting block, but God forbit if I should ever need to remount when we're out hacking one day. Ill be walking him home.

I think my main problem is the AMOUNT of weight Ive got to loose. I was ill a couple of years ago and was put on steroids for a few months. At the same time I was house bound, and 3 stone just piled on before I knew it. I was already 11 stone before that happened (so still 2.5 stone over my comfortable weight, but was wearing a size 12/14 still and happy(ish)). Now wearing a M&S *whispers* 20 or 22 sized tops and size 18 or 20 STRETCHY jeans I just feel over whelmed.

I HAVE GOT TO GET BACK TO A SIZE 12.
 
touchstone said:
I'm pretty sure that the more you focus on not eating food the more you want to!
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Totally agree with this!!

I'm feeling the same as you at the moment. The change of season doesn't help either I think!

You've made the first step by posting here and asking for advice all you need to do now is use the advice and think positively. You can and will do it!!

I lost weight years ago on Weight Watchers but don't like the new points system so I think I'm going to try Slimming World. Does anyone know how much it is?
 
YOU DO NOT HAVE TO GET BACK TO A SIZE 12!!!

You have to be a healthy weight which is appropriate for your height and shape! Get back on your horse and stop being so hard on yourself.

Your head only works positively! You need to focus on something fun, like aqua-aerobics, or roller skating (help me out here guys!!!) or try a new sport like welly wanging and enjoy yourself. You never acomplish anything without a sense of humour!!!
 
I think what you need is a weight loss buddy who you can talk to and go through the motions with. No one is saying weight loss is easy because it really isn't. The reason that Weight Watchers and Slimming World work is because it is much easier to stick to something when you have people egging you on and helping you to stick to your goals.
Start with small things like small portions and chewing your food lots. It's a scientific fact that the more you chew the more your body thinks it is full. So chew your food for twice the length of time you would normally and you will find that your hunger pangs will lessen.
I also recommend finding a form of excercise other than riding that you really enjoy. I recently started Zumba which is a form of dance aerobics. It's hard work but great fun and there are people of all shapes and sizes in the group so I didn't feel that self-conscious at all, even though I'm really not a great dancer. For those who were less fit they would sit out a couple of songs when they found it a bit hard and then go back in.
Good luck, I know how horrible it feels when you're stuck in a rut but start with little steps and you can get there.
 
I was in exactly your position 4 months ago.

I've got a young horse to back next year, was having back problems etc etc. and felt my old horse may well be struggling with my increasing weight :(

I've now lost 2 stone 5lbs since July, have gone from a size 18/20 to a size 14 and feel absolutely brilliant. Got another stone at least to go, but should have lost that by Christmas :)

Have a look at the Dukan diet - on line and you can buy the book for about £5 - it's not like the atkins, but is high lean protein and vegetables.

I highly recommend this diet as you never go hungry and the weight does come off relatively quickly.

Have a look - it's the best diet I've ever been on - and believe me I've done them all!!!
 
Plan your weekly meals in advance, buy only what you need for those meals. As for snacks allow yourself 2 snacks a day and make them healthy ones (carrot sticks, some mixed nuts etc). That way you only have healthy food in the house and if you eat bigger portions then you won't have any food left at the end of the week.
Are you exercising? If you get public transport to work then get off a stop earlier and walk, if you drive park in the furthest spot from the door etc. When you do housework put on an upbeat CD and make it into a workout (also makes the housework more fun!) - I am getting the scene from Mrs Doubtfire in my head as I type this if you have ever seen that film (if not why not it's awesome!)?
 
phantomhorse said:
I think my main problem is the AMOUNT of weight Ive got to loose. I was ill a couple of years ago and was put on steroids for a few months. At the same time I was house bound, and 3 stone just piled on before I knew it.
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OMG, I could have written than myself. :(
I had always been slim and fit, around 8st and 5ft 2ish, but after various life changes, I had put on a bit, so was definately closer to 9st, but then had an illness, did very little exercise for nearly a year, had steroids, and before I knew it I was over 12st.
By just doing a bit of exercise (poo-picking mainly!!), and trying to eat earlier in the evening, I lost over a stone, so now hovering around 11st. I still want to lose at least another stone, but heard yesterday I will need more surgery soon, so part of me feels like just giving up. :(
BUT I won't, I want to feel healthy again, so it's not so much about the weight, its how I feel. Lately I have been trying to regiment myself to a decent breakfast (porridge is good!) a substantial lunch, and a good but smaller dinner, this last meal heavy on protein, trying to use less carbs, and eaten before 7. (Tricky to fit in with the horses though) Have a think to see if you fit this into your day.
If you can fit in a class of some sort that would certainly help, I have heard Zumba is great, and I will be doing Pilates now the evenings are getting too dark to ride. Exercise releases endorphins that make you feel good too. :)
Also if you are tempted to snack, eat fruit (melons are my choice right now) and avoid at all costs things that are high in sugar - as it will give you a blood sugar spike followed by a drop, and make you feel hungry, or craving more sugar, not long after, which can be a vicious cycle.
If possible, NEVER keep things in the house that are bad for you.
So sorry, no quick fix, but total empathy, and vibes that you can find something to help with your head - as that is where it has to start. xxx
 
phantomhorse said:
And I know 13 stone on some people, TALL people!, wouldnt look too bad; but Im 5'2 and it looks BADDDDD. I look like a troll sat up on my horse. No joke. And you want to see me trying to mount with my fat, stubby little legs.
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Oh yeah, and I SO feel like this too, and everytime I see myself in family photos, I doube take, and for a split second think, ooo who's the short dumpy person.... oh yeah....its me. :rolleyes:

My height has never bothered me in the slightest before, but it doesn't take much added padding to make you feel like a Hobbit. :D
 
My hints and tips would be:

DON'T diet, yes really, don't diet, instead cut back the food you eat to what you really need calorie wise and add in some extra exercise, be it poo-picking, helping mates muck out, walking round the field once instead of going to get your horse straight away, take horse out for walks in-hand etc etc, little bits which are helpful for both of you but not really 'real' exercise if that makes sense. Dieting can lead your metabolic rate to slow down, so when you go back to normal eating you pile it back on twice as fast.

Swap some foods about, if you like pasta, choose wholemeal instead of normal, it fills you up better, is better for you and tastes no different.

Instead of two biccies have one plus a bananna or something, like someone else said little changes in managable chunks make a big difference.

If you drink fizzy juice, swap it for proper fruit juice (not fruit juice drinks) instead, often just as tasty but half the calories and good for you :)

If you can stand the texture, porridge in the mornings really does help stop you craving food during the morning and its really good for you. Nice with honey or extra fruit added.

Good luck, let us all now how you get on!
 
You are making it really really hard trying to do it on your own ..... things like Weight Watchers, Sliming World, etc really do make a difference!! I used Weight Watchers online (but threatened myself with the classes if that didn't help).

An option would be to join WWO, and don't slim for the first week just log everything you eat, really Every Single Bite!!! It does make you understand what you are eating and also it makes you exercise more as you get more points for exercise.

Regarding your horse - I think you need to separate the Weight and the Horse for the moment, it sounds as if you are almost eating so you don't have to ride?? Just for a little while take up another fitness hobby (Yoga, Tennis Club, Walking Club or whatever) and then bring riding back when you feel fitter (not necessarily lighter, just fitter!), it makes a hell of a lot of different to how you feel about riding if you have a bit more confidence and stronger core muscles?

Anyway, good luck, sure you will get there ..... if I managed it anyone can!!
 
I can not give you the professional advice that you need, A few friends have had a lot of sucess and fun at weight watchers, might be worth a go - like minded people etc.

Only advice I can give is the advice I give my liveries with horses that have a weight problem.

Take it steady, take it slow and change everything about the (your) lifestyle, not just food, (clothes), habits, exercise.... everything so that being on a diet is not the only thing on (your) mind, and before you know it a new and better all rounded (you) will emerge.

Like everything in life it's about being confident to make a change... go for it !!
 
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when I was a teenager I was 13stone3 and at 5ft3 I was a big girly!! Luckily I am now down to just under 10 stone. I was down to 9stone7 so I'm on the goal to get down to 9! I have just brought myself a swimming costume and will be going swimming once a week atleast. I have a friend who I'm doing it with so if one of us is trying to pull out we can push each other on.
I find I need to write a diet for the week. I work out what I'm going to eat each day and I find I stick to it. Annoyingly I also stick to times aswell. I also make sure I have no goodies at all in the house as I also cant say no. If we ever have the odd treat like a chinese, my boyfriend even has to portion my meal out for me because if I like the taste of something I will eat and eat until I feel sick.
I blame my eating on the way I was brought up. Parents worked alot so we were quite often left to fend for ourselves for snacks and lunches in school holidays. I would eat hole pizzas for lunch, and after school every day I would eat one of those share sized bags of malteasers because I liked the taste. Food in my family has always been very important but I was never taught portion or when not to eat things.
 
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