Can you have it all??? Career, horses, relationship, life??

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Sunny08

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Just a thought for reflection really. I have a brilliant life, I have an enjoyable, good career, which comes with a good pay cheque, but demands a lot of me. I am getting married next May and have the best fiance I could ever wish for, we have lots of hobbies though and I enjoy doing them with him, including mountain biking, hiking, climbing etc. We have a wide network of friends and spend lots of time with them either socialising or doing our hobbies. On top of this I have a dog and an absolutely beautiful 4 year old horse. This is the bit I struggle with, I love her to pieces and make sure I make time for her every day but it is a struggle and timing, especially with my job, is inconsistent, i.e. I'll put her out at 6am one morning and 9am the next. I ride her four times a week minimum but it can be difficult. We are off to Australia for a month next week and I plan on getting a sharer when I get back as I just don't feel I am being fair, plus the fact after the wedding we are planning on starting a family.

Anyway sorry I've rambled but central question is how to others cope? Can you have it all - or does something have to give as horses do take up so much of your time!
 
Hi Sunny08,

I too somehow manage a career as a manager at a sharedealing company, have a fab fella, own house, 2 cats and 2 horses - and somehow manage a social life!

One of my horses is retired so just gets a load of fuss, the other is a youngster who I ride 6 days a week!

I guess it just takes a lot of organisation, and a lot of early starts and late nights!

I can manage on about 5hrs sleep a night - which is a good job as am up at 5.30am all year round (7ish at the weekend)

I guess I just feel I only have one life - so may as well cram in as much fun as I can!

Gem
 
Can't have my career as well as a life, let alone all those other things
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I have struggled on for the last year, but am looking around for new jobs. I'm not desperate to leave - yet - but I really can't hack another summer season in this job if its anything like this year (an no, I am not a red coat
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I'm lucky in that the OH has lots of interests, and after working in Oz for 16months with him, I think he now appreciates how much my horse keeps me sane at home! I am lucky in that my mum and sister also ride, so can pick up the slack if I'm working away - which is often
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but means I haven't done as much this year as I wanted to horse wise.

And me and the OH bought a project house, but one for us to live in, not to sell - in March, and after living with our parents since then (they live on the same street
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) we are about 2 weeks away from moving in. Doing up the house has certainly taken longer thanks to my work.

I don't have much of a life though - bff moved about 40mins away (which I know is not a massive difference) and me and OH are too busy to want to go out atm.

How sad am I?!
 
I don't know, I'm trying to do all four and struggling.
I have a god job, but is very stressful, horses, OH although I don't have much of a life. Feel stuck in a rut and something has to give but don't think I want to face up to that prospect yet.
 
life is what you make it interspursed with love, luck and horses! Everybody is different and don't all strive for the same goals. I have just packed in my well paid job to step down and do much simpler things for a living, which gives me more time but less money but I don't mind because I find the corporate commercial world too backstabbing and greedy for my liking.

Some people can and do have it all but alot of people dont. That's what makes us all different.
 
I have a wonderful partner, and we have a house although would like to move, we both work full time and my job is fairly full on and stresful and i deal with not very nice poeple too, it is reasonable pay although i am considering a change. I have a 2yr old horse to break next yr and a 14yr old warmblood out on full loan who is retired and we have dog. we have around 2 cheap hols a yr but dont have much of a social life. We are happy though wihc i guess is the main thing.
 
I do, it just takes being organised and determined. I have a good career, good marriage, a horse I ride six days a week and a social life I'm happy with. Takes planning and supportive friends and family.
 
Probably if you're a morning person and can fit things in before work as well as after! I recently had to sacrifice the horse for the job, house, and marriage in 2 months time (plus OH was made redundant which didn't help). I figure if I have kids in the near future I can get a horse shortly afterwards but one I can pretend is shared by the family! You probably just have to be really organised and able to survive on little sleep but I'm neither of those things!
 
I think it can be done, but it takes a very organised and determined person.
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I am having a wobble at the moment - my job is taking so much time up, but it pays very well, I put a lot of effort in to getting to this point in my career (exams, long hours, promotions).....but, in all honesty I would love a job that pays a bit less, so I had more time for my youngster (and on/off boyfriend - which is probably because of my time issues). But need to find said job!

Am also re-evaluating my other commitments which I seem to have built up - some of them will have to go, as I can't do everything.
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I can empathise!! xx
 
i like to think that i have all of the above although i don't sleep and take a lot of pro plus so thats how i get it all fitted in
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(oh and my OH is quite understanding about not seeing lots of me and me doing zero house tidying etc!
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i have 2 horses on DIY and compete / train a far bit with my 4 year old. also have a mental whippet who i take to dog training every week. i work full time as a teacher so the holidays help but its crap having to work in the evenings and weekends. i get up at 5am and go to bed about half 11- its the only way i fit it all in
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I'm 17 and work full time between 40-48 hours a week, sometimes more if people are off sick or on holiday. I have 2 horses of my own, 1 which is a 1 year old colt and the other is a 2 year old filly. I turn out and muck out my own horses every morning and also my sisters horse who is at a different yard. I have to walk to both yards. I then either manage to skank a lift or walk to work. Walking takes an hour. I don't manage to do the horses in the evenings as the earliest shift I do is 11-7 and latest being 3-11. My job isn't very good but pays okay for my age. I have hardly any time at all to see my friends and my last relationship ended because we hardly saw each other anymore. Consequently I don't have the time to meet anyone new either. I've decided I'm just going to concentrate on my horses for a while and try to get some money behind me. I'll also be searching for a new job with better prospects but for the time being I'll have to manage.
 
I manage by being very organised. I have a good job and two lovely horses and a 'sort of' fella (long story but its going well)... My friends are understanding and will often come to the yard to see me or put up with me popping round in yard clothes for a cuppa and a chat.

Having just had two weeks off work though I've realised 'trying to have it all' was exhusting me and actually I need to give myself a bit of a break so I've cut down on the amount of socialising I've done this week (normally out for dinner/coffee etc 4+ times a week) and I have to say I'm happier, have more energy and my bank balance is healthier... I don't intend to become a hermit but I do need to realise with a demanding job and two horses I can't be out every night too!!!
 
I certainly hope so! I have the house, job and horse, family possibly coming in the next couple of years and I say - bring it on! I was on here asking people how they cope with horses and a family and everyone was very supportive and said if you are organised it can be done. There's no denying it won't be easy but worth it imo.

I try to do as much as I can before work and then I don't have to rush about quite so much after work and can ride about 4 times a week, which usually involves going to the yard early on weekends so I can have a long ride but still have the afternoon to spend time with OH/friends. My best mate comes up the yard with me and she's well used to me showing up at hers with hay in my hair and muddy wellies on. Other than that I don't really do much socialising. Btw, I agree with slinky, can't have a clean house too.

I think it can be done but I also think it's important to recognise if you are doing too much and ensure you get time to rest otherwise you will just exhaust yourself. I find that as soon as I take time off from work I get ill as I do some much everyday that as soon as I stop my body just goes into meltdown and gives in.

Hope you figure something out
 
It depends how much you want it and how hard you are prepared to work.

For me I have stepped off the high paid executive career path and could not be happier. Ok i earn a third of what i used to, but i am not spending the majority of my life travelling from one continent to another - it always sounds glam but after a bit one airport looks pretty much like the next and after a day on a plane you then have to be "sparkling" for a backstabbing meeting or play the ever wonderful host !

I wasted my life for 20 years - and i wasted my wonderful old horse - she was always on livery and now she is retired i think what a waste.

My husband is the best husband in the world - he works 6 days a week and on the 7th he plays with boys toys - motorbikes, speedboats, race cars so he never really bothers me, and he buys me whatever i want for my hobbies.

I dont like my current position is someways - i was always so used to just spending money on whatever i wanted - i would think nothing of ordering a new saddle or a whole collection of rugs, now i budget - and think about what i spend.

Good luck and go where your heart is - at the end of the day what is more important the love of your animals, husband and friends or the so called loyalty of your job - and trust me when you leave somewhere after a week you were WHO ?
 
If you want it bad enough, you can have it all
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I'm probably a bit young to have much experience of the career aspect, seeing as I am really just at the start of mine, but bearing in mind I commuted 2 hours each day to Uni in order for me to maintain the life I had at home (boyfriend, mum, and of course my horse
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) I am probably quite a good example that you can make it all work - you just have to want it enough. My mare is on DIY livery and although Mum and OH help out on the odd occasion, primarily I do everything with her myself. I am up at 5.30am, at the yard by 6am, on my way to Uni/work placement (currently training to be a teacher) by 7am. I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years so we are what may be considered 'serious'
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and, believe it or not, I do actually feel that I am able to have a 'life' - well, the life I would want, anyway!
On the other hand, I know lots of people who have had to sacrifice something to keep their dreams alive, and that something is often their horse
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A good friend of mine is about to go into the police force and has just had to sell her mare, who she'd had since a foal
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I guess you just have to prioritise everything and work out what it is you want most. But you can have it all - if you dont mind early mornings, late nights and not much riding in the week
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