Cant stop crying 2 horse PTS in 6 days

[miss_bird]

OK many of you read my thread about my 5 week old foal breaking her leg and having to be put to sleep on saturday.
Well i just had a call from my vets that after to speaking to the top orthapedi surgeon in the country she had to be pts tomorrow.
I also have a horse that had a glucose test on monday and if that comes back negative it is most likely she has a tumor and will have to go the same way as the above two.
I just dont know what to do,
i do everything for my horses but i obviously dont deserve to have them.
I cant stop crying and blaming myself

 

[Ravenwood]

Listen to me hun - same as I replied on your FB status - **** happens and you have been tremendously unlucky. You are an excellent owner and it has all come about beyond your powers.

I so know how you feel though, I lost all three of my horses in three months and it was devastating - but as they say "time is the greatest healer" and when I eventually did get another horse, my heart was in my mouth everytime I went down to see her.

I feel your pain, its agonising, its gut wrenching and life can be so unfair.

Huge hugs to you hun - if you need to chat about it just PM me - always here xxxx

 

[x1xpixiex1x]

Please don't blame yourself, none of the injuries or illnesses to your horses were caused by you. I feel for you and can't imagine what you are going through, to lose one is bad enough. I bet your horses have had the best lives imaginable. Fingers crossed that your mares test comes back positive and she is well.

Ben and Jerrys for you xx

 

[WoopsiiD]

First thing first-its not your fault.
The foal (Pride?) had an accident that could have happened to anyone's.
As for the second one, is it the one with the tumour? (sorry I had a bit of trouble understanding post) Again, a tumour is nothing you have done.

Its just sheer bad luck.
You have done everything for them-a person who didn't deserve horses wouldn't be getting vets advice.

Huge Hugs

 

[Starbucks]

OMG how *****ing devastating!! I feel like someone has died and my horse has only pulled a tendon - puts things into perspective!!

You poor thing.. can only offer big hugs. xxx

 

[maletto]

I've been drifting in and out of the forum for the last few weeks so haven't read your thread but I have to say - please please don't blame yourself. like ravenwood says, **** happens but it doesn't mean you deserve it. Not one bit. Of course you should cry, sometimes that's the best way to deal with things but I'm sure you are a wonderful owner and you care so very much for your horses which is why you're so upset.

I really hope the glucose test comes back positive and your horse will be ok. massive hugs ((((((()))))))))

 

[nickslynn]

So Sorry to read this, I`m sure no words can make you feel better at the moment, but remember that the time they have spent with you they have been loved and you have done all you can for them, many horses sadly dont get this, you are doing your best by them,and althou it is hard on you, I`m sure you now that its the kindest thing.
hugs.

 

[B_2_B]

I'm so sorry L
You have done nothing wrong though, please try not to think that you could have done something to help this.

((((hugs))))
xx

 

[ISHmad]

Devastating as this is for you facing the loss of your horses it absolutely is not your fault. There is no way on this earth you could have foreseen the accident with the foal or a horse getting a tumour. Life really is cruel and unfair at times. But it is absolutely NOTHING that you have done.

I'm so sorry for what you are facing and wish god speed to them both with their passing.

 

[Pedantic]

xx

 

[julieleach9]

Take solace in the fact you looked after them to the best of your ability, loved them with all your heart, took the correct veterinary advice and had the money and patience to do things properly. There are many horses, now safely 'grazing upstairs' where the grass is green and lush, looking down on their owners with thanks for doing the right thing.

I know how hard coping with these things is. Time does heal... it just doesn't feel like that at the start of the journey.

Thinking of you.

 

[finkle]

Really feel for you....your pain must be horrific. Life doesnt always go to plan and losing someone/or something we love is the hardest part.
I am sure each and everyone of us feels your pain. Take time to grieve..time doesnt heal but it sometimes takes the edge off all the hurt. x

 

[hairycob]

It is just really bad luck - not your fault. Just sit down &try & think realistically what could you have done to stop these horrible things happening. Keep reminding yourself it's nothing. You'll still get through a lifetime supply of tissues but you might stop beating yourself up about it.

 

[Three]

More (((hugs)))


You have done everything humanly possible, no-one could've done more.

 

[LauraWheeler]

I'm so very very sorry for you. I know it won't help right now but massive ((((((((((hugs))))))))))). I read about your foal on FB but not been online very much recently so had no idea you had lost her RIP Pride xxxx or that your other two where ill. Non of this is your fault, you are doing everything to help your horses many people i know would just giveup on them and have them PTS anyway but you are looking into every possable way to help them. I'm shore they are thankfull to you for all you are doing. If I was a pony I would want a mum like you who would love me and always put me first nomatter what the outcome.
I'm here if you need to talk or just let it all out. I'm only a PM away.
Have some more (((((((hugs)))))) and remember you are doing all you can for your horse which makes you the best horsey mum there is and means you do deserve to have them. xxxxxxx

 

[miss_bird]

Thank you everyone,
I am in better rame of mind this morning, think shock has taken over from raw emotion.
I know there is nothing more the vets, farrier or i could of done and believe me it was not want of trying.
So will just prepare myself for saying goodbye to another loved friend this afternoon

 

[MochaDun]

I've never had to deal with one horse being PTS let alone 2 or more. You've done everything you can for your horses and it's not your fault, it's very sadly just the circumstances. Will be thinking of you today.

 

[Sadiemay]

I am so very sorry for your loss.

Its heart breaking but really none of this is your fault!

Its just terrible luck, nothing more, nothing less. You did everything you could.

Take care and be kind to yourself.
Sadiemay

 

[Kenzo]

Very sorry to hear of your news , it's always hard loosing a horse so I can imagine the thought of two must be very soul destroying but please be strong and remember it's not because you don't deserve to have them.
so don't go thinking it's anything to do with you, things like this just happen and in your case it seems to have all come at once.
(((hugs))))

Good luck and fingers crossed re the results for your other horse.

 

[Natch]

What a horrible time for you. Take care, one day at a time and all that. x

 

[doris2008]

So so sorry. Can't begin to think what you must be going through, but please please remember its no ones fault, its just a horrible fact of life.
Massive hugs for you

 

[Janesomerset]

Thinking of you today. xx

 

[happyhack]

thinking of you L

xx

 

[applecart14]

I cant stop crying and blaming myself

Ok. You are going through the early stages of grief. Blaming yourself for your horses death is one of the first things to happen. Before long you may experience anger, bitterness and a whole host of other emotions, these are all stages of grief which help your mind come to terms with what has happened. After losing my horses I used to feel intense anger and bitterness when I'd hear people say they 'couldn't be bothered' to ride their horse that day, I used to want to grab them by the collar and tell them how lucky they were to still have a horse and how selfish they were that they were only thinking of themselves!! Its just another stage in the bereavement process. Time is a huge healer and you will one day look back on how you feel now with wonderment and amazement that you blamed yourself. You need to speak to someone now hun and get some help. My mum was brilliant with me - she understood how I felt and was really helpful to me coming to terms with what had happened to my horses, not once but four times in sucesssion. I also had anti depressants to allow me the breathing space I needed to cope and I found that by writing and talking about what had happened it helped no end. You could try to contact the blue cross charity as they operate a bereavement service.

 

[turkana]

You poor thing, I'm so sorry about this news; there's no reason for you to feel guilty but it's a normal part of the grieving process.

Loosing loved ones (wether they're human or animal) is very difficult, I don't know you but I am thinking of you.

 

[Tinseltoes]

Sorry to hear of your horse and foal. Sending hugs to you!

 

[TheresaW]

Agree 100% with Ravenwood. **** happens and there is nothing you can do about it. I still have my beloved mare, but have watched her have a stillborn this year, and she has lost early on the foal we were expecting for next year. I am gutted about it as Dolly has the best care I can give her, regular vet checks, fed, watered, etc. I know someone local who doesn't even feed her horses, let alone muck them out or turn them out very often, she probably couldn't tell you the last time one of them saw a vet, yet 2 of them gave birth to healthy cracking foals last year. How is that fair?

Take comfort in the fact that you have done everything in your power to make sure your horses have had the best of everything and wanted for nothing. It won't make your pain go away, but hopefully will go some way to easing it.

 

[Cazza525]

what run of s*** luck you've had! Thinking of you and please don't blame yourself xxx

 

[miss_bird]

WEll Ellie went to sleep very pacefully at 3.25pm today, amazingly after the raw emotional grief laying with her, i was able to look and think she really looks peaceful.
It was rather odd as when the crem people came to collect her they brought Pride's ashes which was comforting in a way.
I also got June's results today and thankfully it is malabsorbtion syndrome, but she has to have x-rays before they can stick her on medication as she is borderline lamanitic, then it is a month of steroids and hopefully they work because if not it will be another day like today

 

[Ravenwood]

Good news about June L