Child issue on livery yard

[skint1]

I've recently moved to a different part of my yard where there are more horses and more people including some young children. It's very nice but I am quite a socially anxious person so having more people around is not always easy for me, even when they're friendly (which thankfully is the case on my yard).

One of the liveries, who I get on fairly ok with (I think) has a child (probably around 3-4yo) When I first moved there the child would chatter and we'd laugh etc but about 2 weeks ago they stopped, seemed quite whiny etc. I'm not a child expert so I figured maybe they had a bug or were overtired so didn't think much of it, but tonight the child actually told me they didn't like me.

I feel bad, don't want the kid to feel uncomfortable or hate coming to the yard- am thinking of moving my horse back to our original stable, except that logistically it's much easier in this new stable and my horse seems happier because he can see more and there's more horses around. During the working week I generally don't see them but over holidays and weekends I see them more often. How should I handle the situation? Is there anything I should or shouldn't do to try and improve things?

 

[HashRouge]

Honestly I wouldn't do anything. Carry on doing what you're doing and enjoy your horse. Be friendly when you see them - say hello to mother and child, but don't bother about much else or trying to win over the child. Small children are funny things and are prone to odd mood changes and randomly deciding they don't like certain things/ people for no good reason.

 

[MuddyMonster]

Honestly, I'd ignore it and carry on as you were. Children have a habit of saying these things that they don't necessarily mean or understand.

If you are really worried, you could bring it up lightly with the parent, but personally I wouldn't worry about it (has as it may be to not!).

 

[DragonSlayer]

I wouldn't worry at all! My step-grand-kids of that age have told me they don't like me on the odd occasion!

You're there to enjoy your horse so get on with doing what your there to do, and as the others have said, just be friendly and don't go out your way.

 

[skint1]

Thanks guys, I know it seems a really silly problem to have, and you've helped put it into perspective and given some sound advice to just carry on as I am. I don't think I will mention it to the mum in case it makes it into a bigger thing than it needs to be. As you say, it may well pass as quickly as it came.

 

[Greylegs]

Just ignore and carry on enjoying your horse. This kid is 4 years old!!!! Who the heck cares what he/she thinks? As long as you've not done anything to make the kid dislike you - which I'm sure you haven't - then be friendly and polite to its mother and don't let this comment derail you.

 

[Flicker]

Kids randomly don't like people. Mostly it's to do with whatever developmental stage they are going through at the time.
You are there for your own enjoyment and I really wouldn't read too much into it. Although, as a very socially sensitive person myself, I can totally relate to what you are feeling!

 

[blitznbobs]

My 4 year old tells me he hates me about 5 minutes before he tells me he loves me - trust me they're that fickle... Don't stress it

 

[Fiona]

Hopefully the child will love you again soon... Don't let it spoil your horse time... Hugs x

Fiona

 

[Doormouse]

My 4 year old tells me he hates me about 5 minutes before he tells me he loves me - trust me they're that fickle... Don't stress it

Mine is exactly the same, regularly is off to live with Granny! They are very fickle and most of the time they don't really understand the true meaning behind what they say. I should just carry on as normal, probably by next week the child will have changed their mind again!

 

[FfionWinnie]

Just ignore the kid and enjoy your time on the yard.

 

[alainax]

Until I had kids I'd be the same as you! Turns out they are funny wee things.

My 18 month old today didn't want to be on the chair, but didn't want off the chair. Didn't want to be on the floor, but didn't want picked up. They teach you very early on that there is no point rationalising with them

Just act as if it never happened. Don't go out of your way to be her friend, but don't worry about it either. You know it will have been something like when you were not there she picked up your broom. Her mum gave her a row , told her to put it down as that was your broom, and from then on she hates you...


If she says it again, I'd be tempted to say " oh that's a shame, as I like you"

 

[limestonelil]

My 4 year old tells me he hates me about 5 minutes before he tells me he loves me - trust me they're that fickle... Don't stress it

This.They are very disconcerting little beings at times. Forget it.

 

[skint1]

Thanks all! I do have a child (well they're 25 now!) so I may have forgotten that stage and since then I haven't had many children at all in my life so am not used to it lol!

 

[FfionWinnie]

Well my child never said anything like that and if I had caught her saying it someone else I would have been mortified so I don't think it's your inexperience at all but it's nothing for you to worry about

 

[wench]

I'd have been given a good hiding if I'd have said that to anyone!

 

[Antw23uk]

Oh man I would LOVE this scenario ... I hate kids, cannot bear them and for one to be like this would be like all my Xmasses had come at once, lol! Personally I would never have been nice to it in the first place but you have been weak (your forgiven but dont do it again) Ignore the brat, pretend its not there .. better yet push it in the muckheap or water trough and then muckheap!

 

[wills_91]

Children are strange critters. My son has on occasions told me he dislikes somebody for reasons I cannot figure out. Don't make a deal of it, enjoy your horse.

 

[blitznbobs]

Crimes that can cause children to hate you

1) talking to them .
2) not talking to them
3) putting ketchup exactly where they told you to put ketchup
4) not putting ketchup exactly where they told you to put ketchup
5) being tired
6 NOT being tired

.... I could go on ... And on and on








And on...

Ps tell them they smell of poo. This will have one of two effects

1) they will find it hilarious
2) they will hate you forever (well at least until tomorrow when they will have found another reason to hate you - or not hate you.)

 

[Clare85]

Children are strange little creatures. There's a lady at my yard who my son thinks is brilliant, but the other day he told her he doesn't like her. She just laughed it off. Sure enough, the next day he said "Mummy, I love Sarah".

I wouldn't worry op. Just carry on being friendly and enjoying the time you spend with your horse.

 

[GirlFriday]

Honestly surprised at all the people saying kids do that every five min - the ones closest to me don't, there are people liked and people not liked, not so much swapping round. Whilst I don't encourage inhibition they tend not to explain their feelings to the people they don't like but that is something that comes with more maturity and empathy than this infant has - developmental stage not yet reached, that is all.

But what I will say is, so what? There are probably heaps of people of your acquaintance you don't particularly like as well as those you do. Doesn't mean you can't get along with them perfectly well.

If it was a kid I was chatty with I might ask why (at the time, not later - but no reason you shouldn't if it comes up again) but I'd also just accept that not everyone will always like me and the only difference here is that this one is too young to know how to be tactful.

 

[Ladyinred]

It could be worse. My 3 yo grandson looked at my daughter the other day and said, very seriously 'Mummy, you've got a big bottom'

 

[Equi]

lol i hate kids. Ive been known to make them cry when giving a lesson or just in general being around them. Bloody horrible whiney noisy movey things. Should be not seen and not herd in my books. Theres large hay nets for that sort of thing..

 

[PorkChop]

Ditto the other posts, children are fickle creatures it won't be anything you have done or not done!

 

[Drzoidberg2]

I had the opposite issue when a family with young children shared my tackroom in the yard. They had one girl who would constantly follow me round talking about anything that popped into her head. She announced one day that I was her best new friend. Very sweet until she started telling me about how her daddy was mad because she wet herself that morning, and then in the same breath said I was fatter than her Mammy... What do you even say?!

Kids are weird. Enjoy the silence while you can is my advice! 😂

 

[Sussexbythesea]

There's a child on my yard and when he was younger he went through a phase of poking his tongue out at me (and other people) all the time. So I told him a story about how the crows would take his tongue away if he kept doing that and he never did it again after that 😂.

He also once said "hello stupid" to me, his mother told him off but he never seems to receive any kind of sanction for his (frankly at times odd) behaviour. I couldn't care less esp. as I'm a BSc. and MSc. so pretty confident that I'm not stupid. 😂

 

[scats]

I'm like a child magnet and I've no idea why. I think it's because I treat them like small adults and not children. I have no desire to talk to them in a 'younger' way and they seem to love having normal conversations with me. Trouble is, they follow me about and I'm not really a child fan. My friends with children think it's hilarious!

They are funny little things, I wouldn't worry. Just be your usual self with her, say hello and smile. I think 3-4 is a strange age.

 

[paddi22]

Even if it was an adult who said they hated me, if i was on a livery yard i really liked then i'd just ignore it and give them a cheery wave when i see them!

its very easier to get sensitive and react to others views of you, but the child is entitled not to like you. There are plenty of adults who don't like eachother on yards and they all still go up and enjoy their horses, they just don't have the honesty filter that children have to say it out loud;. Best thing i ever learnt was that its fine for other people not to like you, it doesn't mean you are a bad horrible person who has done something thing wrong, it just means they don't like you for their own reasons and those reasons usually have nothing to do with you anyway. And there is no point to waste energy trying to please them or change their minds.

Its a good thing to work on not caring what people think of you and just concentrating on being a nice person. I spent years trying to figure out if people were happy or angry, or hadf i done something to offend them. And it takes up so much of your energy and always keeps you on eggshells analysing and minding your behaviour. Best advice i even got from a fiend was to stop trying to be liked and just be myself. Some people will just not like you, and thats fine. And even if you spent all your days trying to make them like you and doing the right things, chances are they still wouldn't. Best thing i ever learnt (apart from learning how to say no!)

 

[sasquatch]

I also have social anxiety, so can understand why you feel bad.
Honestly, children are strange especially at the age of 3/4.

For some reason, kids seem to like me without me really trying and I don't like kids very much which is probably why. Another livery had a sharer with a little girl who was very curious but not badly behaved, and as B has a long mane he seems to also attract children. The little girl was wary enough of him to not come too close, but was happy enough to come and chat away with me and offer to 'help' some days and the next time I would see her she would be glued to her mum and not talking to anyone, or having a bit of a tantrum.

Kids can be tired or get bored and fed up of coming down to somewhere 'boring' (like when mum is doing the horse and they want to be watching TV or playing with a friend) and that's when they seem to be crankiest and saying 'meaner' things.

Honestly, if the child says they don't like you, I'd just stick your tongue out and make a funny face and move on. Children are often very fickle and the smallest thing can make them 'dislike' someone, and often it's for the stupidest reason.

Don't let it bother you, it's one small child and you're just not flavour of the month, it'll be something or someone else next week!

 

[rowan666]

Yep my kids are exactly the same! 3 and 12) I wouldn't worry OP, kids are fickle and will often say things they don't mean just for somekind of a reaction, just carry on as normal