Children on the yard.... Long sorry!

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emmaln

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Hi all,

Sorry this could be long!

Here's the thing we are a nice DIY livery yard with about 25 horses and a mixture of types of owner, with this comes the usual yard politics and occasionally things will blow up but it always calms down again!

I have 2 horses and my bro has 1 and we both work at a school for children with behavioural difficulties, over the years I have developed a programme to give our children the opportunity to visit the horses and we even use it as therapy in conjunction with our play therapist. The programme has been a huge success, we heard one autistic child say I love you for the first time to my ex racer and one child who has childhood bi polar managed to express his feelings through her for the first time! I started thus programme at my last yard and when we moved we asked if we could carry it on at the new yard and were told it wasn't a problem!

I take my children up on a Thursday evening and we have strict rules and are bound by both health and safety and thorough risk assessment, I never take more than 2 at a time and they are made to stick to me like glue so that they don't interfere with the other liveries, my stables are also out the way of the others so we are not a trouble!

So here's the thing this thurs when I took my kids up there were loads of kids up there one family who have just started sharing a shettie and another livery had her 2 (3&4 yr olds) the livery's kids were running around unsupervised behind the backs of horses jumping off things and generally being a pain the mother even went and rode and just left the children on the yard asking someone to keep an eye on them! This isn't the first time she has done this it's almost every evening at the mo and one of the other liveries finally complained! I totally understand this and support the complaint however the YM came up to me last night and said that it is likely that all kids will be banned and can I nit bring them up in the evenings! I am so upset by the as my children are impeccably behaved and we'll mannered! It feels like yet again one person has ruined it for others, bearing in mind some of my children are so disadvantaged and often discrminated against o feel I have to do something so here's my plan!

I'm going to talk to all the liveries (I get on well with everyone!) and explain the situation and find out how they feel about my kids (it's only once a week after all) three have already said mine are no trouble and they'd be happy to vouch for me then I shall take all my research risk assessments etc to YO and YM to see if we can come to some sort of compromise! What do you think?

Sorry that was soooooooo long crumpets with cheese and freshly squeezed oj if you got this far!!
 
I think its great what you are doing for the children as horses are great therapists! But at the end of the day it is down to your YO what rules and policies they have. If they say no children allowed, then it is not fair to have one rule for one and change it for another. It might be an idea to suggest if children where on the yard to be supervised at all times by their parent / guardian (and not passing the responsibility to other liveries).
 
Cannot believe that a mother would leave her kids unsupervised like that. Horses and yards can be dangerous places for goodness sake. I think it is really unfair that well behaved children that you are supervising 100% of the time are possibly going to be banned too, although can totally understand where the YM is coming from.

Your plan of having a discussion with the YO and YM is a good one. Also they did enter into a verbal agreement with you by saying yes to you carrying on with this very moving work with the children and the horses.

I'm not sure I'd go round all the liveries personally as it is really a matter between you, the YO and the YM.

The YM and YO need to tell the irresponsible parents that livery yards are not creches and that nobody else is to be given the task of keeping an eye on their kids for them.
 
id see if the YO would be willing to do the no children unsupervised (& 1 strike & off! rule) any children messing about simply are not allowed back, its the parents that have to sort it then.

our 3 kids (4,2 & 11 months) are well behaved at the yard, no shouting/running about ect but we are really lucky in that we rent privatly & have given them a stable of their own to get out of the weather.
 
Thanks all it seems common sense really! I think children need to be allowed on the yard as they are the future of the equine industry but supervision is key! Aoibhin I live the fact your kids have a stable to thenselves he he that made me giggle! Unfortunately it's the same person who nearly got digs banned at our last yard as she used to let hers run around pooing and peeing everywhere when yard rule was all dogs on leads!
 
Sounds like your YO needs to grow some balls and sort the matter out with the livery in question.

Children on a yard need to be aware of the dangers, that it isn't ok to run amok and scream and shout. Now I know kids will be kids, but there is plenty to keep them occupied with if supervised - and that is the responsibility of the parent/guardian.

You have taken every precaution to ensure the relationship with the children you bring onto the yard is positive and beneficial for all concerned. Why should you and your charges suffer?
 
I can't stand unsupervised (or loud/running) children on the yard.

One of the other grass liveries at the farm where I am has beautiful, quiet, well behaved twin girls who are a pleasure to have around.

Another lady brings up her completely out of control 4 year old who just runs around shouting the whole time.

Would be good if the YO could selectively ban kids.....

anyway, sounds like what you're doing for your kids is greatly beneficial and it would be a shame if you had to stop.
 
I completely understand where you are coming from, I work with children also and know how important routine and keeping promises are to kids who have difficult backgrounds or are SEN. However I can see how your YO is in a difficult position it's a lot easier to just say no kids on the yard than pull an individual up about their 'parenting'.

Could you get round it by taking your children down during the school day instead of in the evening? The YO could then make a rule about children being on the yard at non peak times and always under supervision for their own safety. TBH if the other livery is that blase about her kids and just dumping them on other people, she's likely to have that attitude about other things and generally end up being a pain. If I was YO/YM I'd be giving the livery a warning about it and then next time she did something similar asking her to leave.
 
I agree with the comment about a rule about no unsupervised children and the YO needs to be fair but firm! Why should "your" kids be punished for this irresponsible mother? At my yard we have one Haflinger pony that has a special arrangement in that it belongs to a disabled charity and the children come down during the day, individually with the responsible person, to interact and also ride with said pony. The rest of the time the pony is used in the RS so it gets exercised and is calm for the kids. It is great to see them having such fun!
 
Bertthefrog said:
Sounds like your YO needs to grow some balls and sort the matter out with the livery in question.
Click to expand...

^^^ This

maletto said:
I can't stand unsupervised (or loud/running) children on the yard.

Would be good if the YO could selectively ban kids.....
Click to expand...

^^^ This

ajn1610 said:
...it's a lot easier to just say no kids on the yard than pull an individual up about their 'parenting'....
Click to expand...

^^^ and this!

It really annoys me when a 'whole yard' rule is brought in when it is one person that is causing the problem.

At our yard one person persistently did not sweep up after themselves, so now we have a 'no haynet on the yard' rule :( Not major compared to your potential new rule though.

Really sorry about your predicament, hope you get it sorted out, you're doing a wonderful thing and should be allowed to continue.
 
What a stupid rule... no children on the yard??
Are some of the liveries not children with ponies? If so, are they being asked to leave?

I think no children unsupervised is a very good plan... Horses are dangerous and unpredictable and it sounds like the parents need to be more responsible
 
What a really unfortunate situation to be in!

To be honest I can see your YO's point of view, it's easier to ban all children than pick individual fights with parents who are unlikely to accept that their kids are out of control. Might be worth getting in touch with your local RDA and seeing if you can continue your programme with some of their horses/yards they ride at.
 
I can see why the YO imposed a "no children" ban and didn't tackle the individual mother - they were responding to a livery's complaint, and weren't there at the actual moment, by the sounds of it. So the blanket ban is the fairest way really.

It does sound a shame that your visits may have to stop. I definately agree that you should speak to the YO noth the other liveries, and think that taking them up at non busy times during the day would probably be the way forward...
 
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