Clingy ponies....?!

[ginger_dressage_pony]

Okay so here is my dilemma...
I have one horse at home currently, he lives with a retired pony belonging to a family member. In a few weeks time, my new horse will arrive, and both of my horses will move to new stables together, still at home, but seperate from retired pony. No problems so far.
My concern is, that the horse I have currently is competing approx 2 weekends a month, and sometimes we have to stay away for a few days for competitions, but I am not sure how my youngster will cope at home when I go away to shows. I have someone who can come in and do the horses for me, but my new mare would be left without company, which I know she doesn't really cope with (she had one night alone recently and totally lost the plot apparently.) I wouldn't feel so bad if it were just the odd day, but if I am away for several days with competing, it is unlikely she could even be turned out, she would be alone and likely to get very worked up and potentially try something stupid. She unfortunaly cannot go with the retired pony, already living here (long story, belongs to the MIl..) so my two horses will be totally separate from the pony. Would be interested in any opinions, do I try and get my horses to be totally independent and be happy to be left alone for potentially several days without each other, while one or other was competing? Or is this unreasonable. I don't want any injuries, obviously, and I am also conscious that in the first few weeks my new mare arrives I should be bonding with her and getting to know her, rather than stressing her out more than neccesary. It Is hard to explain the situation, but FIL and MIL not horsey whatsoever, and it has taken a while for them to come round to the idea of my second horse moving here.
I have been offered an ideal companion mare, which would be my ideal choice if it was up to me entirely, because she would look after which ever one of my horses was left at he, but before I suggest that to the FIL, I wondered if I would be being unreasonable to explain the situation, and ask about having a companion for my horses. I did wonder about a Shetland, but not sure if my horses would think that was a sensible option for a companion..hope this makes sense, any advice so welcome! Basically, should I compromise and try and cope with leaving one at home potentially losing the plot, or broach subject of a companion with unhorsey Inlaws?!

 

[wkiwi]

I would train second horse to be independent. I have done this with mine when i have had no choice and in the long run it is much easier.
A companion shetland could also be a good idea, but remember that they can get overweight and very very bored with nothing to do, so consider what work/occupation it could have too.
However, it would be much cheaper just to put your 2nd horse in a 'hotel' (good livery yard) for a few days each time you go away, rather than have another horse/pony -- one vet bill for them would cover the cost of an awful lot of livery!! Alternatively, is there anyone near you that could bring a horse over for a few days when you go away?

 

[muckypony]

I think it is unreasonable to leave one alone for several days at a time.

A companion would be the best option I think, but I'd say not a Shetland or small native pony. They are so much harder to keep than people think. I have two and a welsh D so weight wise they are similar to keep. If you have something that needs good grazing, you're likely to have problems with a Shetland (laminitis) and also depending on what fencing you have they can also be tricky. My two are very good really but love scratching their bums so much that I'm often greeted by broken fence rails!!

You can get a nice companion from somewhere like the blue cross and if yout situation ever changes you know that you can always give them back and they will be well cared for

 

[ginger_dressage_pony]

Thanks for your replys guys! Wkiwi, I would be interested to know how you taught yours to be independent? Tough love, or gradually increasing length of the they are alone? Mine are dressage horses, so they do need to be independent enough to go off to a show and concentrate on the job on hand, rather than their companion back at the yard. A Shetland may be an option, but my horses can have quite a lot of grass, so it would need to be managed carefully weight wise, not a problem but I can't help feeling it might not be the nicest life for a pony.
Muckypony, blue cross is a good idea, thanks! I haven't broached the subject of a companion with the In laws, my yard is on OH's farm, his dad still very much involved and he's not horsey at all, I feel I'm pushing my luck having two horses, don't want to rock the boat.
I wish I knew what to do for the best!! Argh!!!

 

[Dazed'n'confused]

I have similar problems except I need a companion for my companion!!
I keep my horses on inlaws farm too (you have my sympathies), they are also non horsey & I have found it really, really trying, to the point that I often wonder if I'd be better moving them! I started with in-foal mare & fat companion - it's so hard to explain to disapproving farmer that yes, the fencing really does have to be 6' high because the mare jumped 1.40m & will jump out if bored. No, the pony cannot just go out on the grass; yes, the muzzle is necessary; no, I don't care if the villagers think I'm cruel. Then when foal arrived - please, for the 100th time of asking, would you NOT drive a tractor right behind the stable coz everyone panics & the foal gets squashed; NO they won't get used to it....! I could go on...
Currently I have the now 3 yr old (she survived somehow ) & her fat nanny pony! It's hard, as has been said, as youngster needs more grass than the pony but we've managed by bringing them in in a morning for a few hours then turning the youngster back out & the pony going in a small track that I sectioned off at one end of the field. They are technically still next to each other, just separated by electric fence. All happy with this arrangement & at least youngster learnt to be a bit more independent. The pony is then turned out muzzled with youngster overnight.
Now that the 3 yr old is ready to do a little bit of "work" on her own (I've always led them round the farm/up & down village together) I'm having to consider another companion as the pony is hysterical when I take the youngster away!! Young one isn't too bothered to be fair, whinnies a bit & prances but is prepared to leave without major tantrum!
However, there is no way I could leave youngster on her own, she would definitely injure herself! I think your best bet is to get a pony as I don't think it's fair to ask a young horse to be alone for a few days. If it was while you rode out then it wouldn't be so bad but I would still worry. It's different if you've two older horses who have been out competing & know what being alone is all about but youngsters at home are idiots!!
Good luck with the inlaws tho....