Cold callers - an amusing way to get rid

irish_only

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Am having so much fun now. When they ring me, I say "oh good, glad you called. I've get several nice horses for sale, or a nice litter of puppies. Which do you think you would prefer? Puppies, right, well I have some black ones and some choc ones, but it depends if you prefer a girl or a boy?"

Usually followed by a silence, and then a resounding 'CLICK'. Oh no, they've gone. Another sale lost lololol

One did giggle before they hung up.
 
Love it! I once has someone ring trying to sell me double glazing and i just said, 'why would i need double glazing? I live in a cave!' They quickly hung up too.
 
Give them the classic Seinfeld line

"Sorry can't talk right now, but if you give me your home phone number I'll call you later"

The telesales person will probably refuse to give you their home phone number, so you can reply

"Oh you don't want to be called at home do you? Now you know how I feel"

And hang up.
 
i have several ways of getting rid of them.
one of my favouirte ones is to tell them the person they want is unavialable and to call bk then tell them a time when i know full well no one is in.
Another favourite one is to tell them the person is unavialible and when asked if im related to them tell them no (this really throws them) and when asked if i live there say no (throws them even more!) normally by now they give up i did have one which i told them i was the cleaner and they still tried to sell me stuff! Next time i get to that stage im going to tell thme im a burgler and see what they say!!
A friend of mine used to say ill go and get them and then just leave the phone on the side for an hour or so as they called you you would have to hang up to terminate the call!
 
I tell them I'm a burglar. Get a variety of responses! The best so far has been, "Oh, right. Well, I dont think you should do that." LOL.
 
When I get any cold callers, my response is to say "Did I ask you to call me?" and when they think for a moment and reply "no" I then say .... " WELL DONT DO IT AGAIN!" ans slam the phone down. Bit rude maybe .... :D
 
I have several tactics, one is to switch radio onto radio 5 and leave phone next to it. It usually takes them a while to work it out, plus it ties up the line. Today I had a fit of giggles and repeated everything he said (he reckoned he was phoning from Microsoft and my computer was sending them error messages). I just laughed and said Ok what personal information are you after? He slammed phone down! Other tactic if a company has phoned several times is to ask if they've heard of the TPS and perhaps they would like reporting. A whistle blown down phone also works wonders for persistent offenders. I do however feel sorry for people who cold call for their job!
 
I usually say "Yes I'd love double glazing / a new kitchen / whatever but can you please call me back when I've sorted out my bankruptcy and I'll order it then"

Strangely enough I seem to have been taken off the lists now and rarely get calls like this ;) :D :D
 
I love doing this :D

I will ask the caller for their personal details I get them occasionally

'are you a relative ?
no
a friend ?
no
why are you there then ?
the phone was ringing and the front door was open

Me and my dad also have a great script but it only works if you have a game that has a shooting option

Answer phone

' can I speak to Blah blah blah'
Me : Dad, phone

Dad: (shouting) I thought I told you not to answer that phone
(Place phone next to tv speakers)

Dad : Get here now

Fire three shots

You normally get shocked silence :D
 
I love doing this :D

I will ask the caller for their personal details I get them occasionally

'are you a relative ?
no
a friend ?
no
why are you there then ?
the phone was ringing and the front door was open

Me and my dad also have a great script but it only works if you have a game that has a shooting option

Answer phone

' can I speak to Blah blah blah'
Me : Dad, phone

Dad: (shouting) I thought I told you not to answer that phone
(Place phone next to tv speakers)

Dad : Get here now

Fire three shots

You normally get shocked silence :D

PMSL!:D
I just say I rent the house. I dont think there is any need to be rude tbh as they are only trying to earn a living and it has to be better then being on the dole.
 
OMG what a load of rather nasty people you are - no wonder no one likes horse people.

No one works in a call centre for 1st choice career move - it's normally just a way to try and make a living /pay your way through UNi or pick yourself up when life has gone bad - so well done you for not bothering to be polite - just hope no one bothers to be nice to you if you are down on your luck.
 
Actually, I don't think I'm nasty at all.
I did say I felt sorry for the caller -I know someone has to do the job. :)

However, we do belong to the Telephone Preference Service (TPS) which means they shouldn't be ringing us anyway. If they'd done their homework in the first place, then they would know that.
I also find the calls a real invasion of my privacy and these calls are invariably at a difficult time when I'm trying to make tea/make up horse feeds and entertain two young children having dashed home from work. So, how I deal with the call, depends on my mood and what else is going on. Most of the calls I get these days are from abroad anyway -you can tell by the pause, click and foreign accent that is unable to deal with any response other than their role-play card.
 
OMG what a load of rather nasty people you are - no wonder no one likes horse people.

No one works in a call centre for 1st choice career move - it's normally just a way to try and make a living /pay your way through UNi or pick yourself up when life has gone bad - so well done you for not bothering to be polite - just hope no one bothers to be nice to you if you are down on your luck.

You're so right. I will amend my response.
If it is a man calling I will ask him which girl he would like to book.
If it is a woman I will ask her if she would prefer a blonde or brunette stud.

I hope this is ok?
 
OMG what a load of rather nasty people you are - no wonder no one likes horse people. Who doesn't like horse people? why?

No one works in a call centre for 1st choice career move - it's normally just a way to try and make a living /pay your way through UNi or pick yourself up when life has gone bad - so well done you for not bothering to be polite - just hope no one bothers to be nice to you if you are down on your luck.

Are you serious? :confused: I can't believe that you would stick up for these muppets that cold call people at home and try and scam money out of them :confused:
If they can sit in an office bothering people on a phone all day they could do other things, working in a supermarket is a good, honest job, not what these plonkers are doing! :rolleyes:
 
my 3yo nephew was here one day when i got a call, had this caller on a few times and had told them to remove the number from the list but they still called
i passed the phone to my nephew who is a chatterbox and left him too it - not had a call from that seller again
 
My favourite one was when a chap called from **** Market Research company and told me that as I'd not filled in their postal questionnaire, they would like to give me the opportunity to complete it over the phone. For my trouble, I would be entered into a prize draw to win £1000 off a conservatory.
I replied, "which company did you say you were calling from?"
"**** Market Research"
"you're not very good at it, are you?"
"what do you man madam?"
"well, you haven't done much resaerch now have you? I live in a first floor maisonette, WHERE am I going to put a conservatory?!"
He laughed and put the phone down!
 
The best one I had was the one who asked me what my windows were made of, then got the giggles when I said glass! Well don't ask stupid questions!:D
 
For anyone getting calls from Microsoft claiming that your computer is having problems, it's not a 'call centre' employing hard done by people open to abuse from the recipients, but a scam. They want to direct you to 'clean up' your computer by sending you to a site, where a spyware program will infect your computer and steal your personal details.

Next time they ring, I shall tell then that they are through to Staple Hill police station, WPC Brooks, how can I help you.
 
Although they annoy me so much, I try to be quite nice as I really feel for to people who have to work in places like that. They know how much people hate it but often, it's the only job they can get.

BTW some brilliant responses on here, I'm chuckling rather a lot :D
 
hehehe!! love some of these, I worked in telesales for a long time, and would love it when people would give me funny answers, it would just kill the monotomy of he boring job!!

I once got asked out on a date!! hahaha!!

Have also had the I live in a cave!
 
OMG what a load of rather nasty people you are - no wonder no one likes horse people.

No one works in a call centre for 1st choice career move - it's normally just a way to try and make a living /pay your way through UNi or pick yourself up when life has gone bad - so well done you for not bothering to be polite - just hope no one bothers to be nice to you if you are down on your luck.

There is a world of difference between working in a call centre fielding proper customer calls and cold calling agencies. Plus around 50% of cold callers are now proper scams generally run by overseas cartels (Nigeria and the Netherlands seem to be the leading countries for this). These cold callers are aggressive and out to STEAL your money and or PERSONAL INFORMATION

So I think horsey or not, everyone should be treating these types of callers with the contempt they deserve and hopefully if everyone did this, they would cease to exist.
 
Just for the record, not all outbound calls jobs are 'the only job you can get'. I earn a very reasonable amount of money and work for a high-end hospitality company whilst predominantely making outbound calls... I could do a job in a variety of spheres but choose to do this as I am good at it and enjoy it.

I always try to be polite to salespeople as I appreciate not all of them are as lucky as me, and probably earn very little basic salary therefore rely on commission. I'd never waste their time as some of you seem to enjoy doing - just politely say 'no thanks, I'm not interested.' and let them get on to another call, where someone might be interested!
 
If I suspect I've been cold called, I say something like "sorry am having trouble with the phone, can't hear you .....", THEN I press the hash key repeatedly, which apparently (or so I've been told) makes the computer generated calls spit your number out of the system.

I really resent being phoned by cold callers - I'm self employed and too blimmin busy to be bothered by people trying to sell me things I don't want - especially so as I'm on the TPS list for both the phone AND junk mail - and still keep getting both! TPS will tell you, if you complain, that you need to get the number of the company that's phoning you and when I've asked for this they either tell you there is no number !!! OR that they're not selling you anything just conducting a survey and thereby getting away with it.

OR, another solution given to me by a friend to get rid of them is to get your word in first and ask the caller if they're "saved"!!!! They'll put the phone down pretty quick then.
 
My aunt once got rid of them by detailing the exact specifications of the conservatory she wanted and getting the salesperson all excited ... then asking them how exactly they planned to fit a conservatory to a 12th floor flat :D
 
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