Communication issues

Cowpony

Well-Known Member
Joined
17 May 2013
Messages
2,953
Visit site
Does anybody else have this problem? I spoke to my mother on the phone earlier and have just been catching up with my sister on messenger. I really really wanted to say that I had a brilliant lesson today doing lots of lateral work. Pony has finally worked out that she's supposed to move away from my leg and we got some fantastic changes of bend as we leg-yielded towards the fence and as soon as we got to the track leg-yielded away again. And she did most of it whilst working over her back, which we've never managed before. And Piggy French won Badminton!! 😀
BUT.....They are totally non-horsey, wouldn't have a clue what I was talking about and wouldnt understand the significance of what, for me, is a big breakthrough. I feel there's this huge portion of my life that I can't share with them!, So when they ask about my news I end up saying "Oh, nothing much, work is busy, the kids are fine.... "
 

JFTDWS

Well-Known Member
Joined
4 November 2010
Messages
20,982
Visit site
You don't have to go into minute detail but you could say, 'I had a brilliant lesson today, I was really pleased with the way it went'. If a friend who had a hobby that you don't share told you that, you'd be pleased for them, even if you didn't know the first thing about their hobby, wouldn't you?

Indeed - more than that, I'm interested in hearing about people's hobbies in a degree of detail - sometimes you learn something useful!
 

Meredith

riding reluctantly into the sunset
Joined
21 February 2013
Messages
11,962
Location
the sat-nav is wrong, go farther up the hill
Visit site
Indeed - more than that, I'm interested in hearing about people's hobbies in a degree of detail - sometimes you learn something useful!

I was talking to my Son in Law who is ( vaguely) musical. He plays the guitar but not very well. I am totally useless musically. S in L was really interested to hear about rhythm of the horse’s paces.
 

Shay

Well-Known Member
Joined
17 August 2008
Messages
7,345
Visit site
You have kids?

How many times have your kids come home and prattled on at you in utter delight about something you have no idea about. And it was totally lovely. They were engaged, happy and enthusiastic. Your ability to understand what they were going on about in no way diminished either your pleasure in hearing or theirs in telling.

That doesn't go away with time or age. One thing that is very clear in my mother's final illnerss - she may not understand what I - or my DD - are going on about. But she loves to hear it, and to feel engaged and a part of our lives. Obviously there is a politeness limit as adults - but you really should not feel limited in what you share with your family You are enthusiastic and happy. Whether they understand that at a technical level or not they can still share the emotion with you. Don't limit that.
 

milliepops

Wears headscarf aggressively
Joined
26 July 2008
Messages
27,538
Visit site
Obviously there is a politeness limit as adults - but you really should not feel limited in what you share with your family

Depends on your family 🙄
I was told by mine at an early age that people weren't interested in horses like I was so I shouldn't talk about them.
So I just don't unless with horsey friends.

Like I say, that's what HHO is for 😁
 

Meredith

riding reluctantly into the sunset
Joined
21 February 2013
Messages
11,962
Location
the sat-nav is wrong, go farther up the hill
Visit site
My parents always said I was the only person who would talk about horse poo at the dinner table

Obviously there is a politeness limit as adults - but you really should not feel limited in what you share with your family You are enthusiastic and happy. Whether they understand that at a technical level or not they can still share the emotion with you.
 
  • Like
Reactions: TPO

Pinkvboots

Well-Known Member
Joined
25 August 2010
Messages
21,373
Location
Hertfordshire
Visit site
I don't really talk about the horses to my mum she is not remotely horse minded she is actually scared of them, she was completely baffled when I mentioned I had a riding lesson! Her reply was didn't you learn to ride years ago:D
 

little_critter

Well-Known Member
Joined
20 June 2009
Messages
5,758
Visit site
I don't really talk about the horses to my mum she is not remotely horse minded she is actually scared of them, she was completely baffled when I mentioned I had a riding lesson! Her reply was didn't you learn to ride years ago:D
My usual reply to that is ‘Andy Murray still has a tennis coach’ (or insert suitable alternative world class sportsperson)
 

SO1

Well-Known Member
Joined
29 January 2008
Messages
6,685
Visit site
I always talk to my parents and sister about my horse, otherwise we would have nothing to talk about. My sister will talk about her dog and my parents talk about their garden.

They always ask if I have been riding at the weekend and how my pony is. I think even if they can't understand the details they are just glad to know that I am enjoying myself.

Having said that my family are animal lovers so they do understand the bond that one gets with pets, my parents have a cat they are very fond of and have also had dogs over the years, and as a child I had a pony I kept at home, and my dad did have a pony as a child as well so they are used to horses and animals.

I also talk to my work colleagues about my horse and they talk to me about their hobbies including things like football which I have no interest in at all!
 

Pippity

Well-Known Member
Joined
3 February 2013
Messages
3,320
Location
Warrington
Visit site
After I'd had my mare a few months, my mum finally came and looked at her over the stable door. The verdict was, "He seems nice."

But she listens patiently while I wibble on, even though she doesn't understand a word I say, and is appropriately enthusiastic when expected. In return, I listen to her stories about what Janet - you know, Janet from Hull - has been up to, and how her 97yo primary school headmaster seemed at her last school reunion.
 

Pearlsasinger

Up in the clouds
Joined
20 February 2009
Messages
44,732
Location
W. Yorks
Visit site
They haven‘t and neither have I.


When he was writing about collecting animals for zoos (which is how he started his involvement with endangered animals), the humans spent all day tending to the animals that they had in the camp until they had as many as they needed, when they then transported them. During that period, the humans only all got together at mealtimes when they spent most of their time discussing the health and habits of the animals they were looking after - and we all know which habits tell you most about the health of an animals!
 

Goldenstar

Well-Known Member
Joined
28 March 2011
Messages
46,020
Visit site
My family have not in the least interest .
That’s what friends are for .
And here .
When I was younger I used to to be so envious for friends whose mums came with them to clinics and things ,who shared the fun of it all .
I have a lovely friend who fulfills this roll .
 

dogatemysalad

Well-Known Member
Joined
22 July 2013
Messages
6,118
Visit site
Three years after my mare of a life time died, my son came to build me a new stable. He said, ' where's that white horse gone ?' I guess that in the all consuming, exciting life of a 20 year old, his mum's grief had been forgotten. Kids, eh ?
 

Teajack

Well-Known Member
Joined
22 October 2018
Messages
589
Visit site
Non-horsy best friend has - rather pointedly I thought - lent me Melanie Reid's book, the one about her life as a quadriplegic following a fall eventing. Great reading for an ageing nervous returner. This followed from me being rather pleased that I had managed to have a fall fairly early on in my resumed horsy career, which saved me building it up into a big what if ... Meanwhile work colleagues think I am nuts and boss, who is a surgeon, recounts tales of all the horsy women clogging up A&E when he was a junior doctor ... TBH I feel like telling them all I've given up and riding in secret.
 

Cowpony

Well-Known Member
Joined
17 May 2013
Messages
2,953
Visit site
I do envy all of you who have family who relish your enthusiasm! We were constantly discouraged from talking about horses when we were kids. My mother will ask if I've been riding now but I get the "haven't you had enough lessons by now?" comments, and she changes the subject very quickly. My sister "can't be doing with all that Mallory Towers horsey stuff". 😧 So I'll talk to you guys instead 😀😀
 

Trinket12

Well-Known Member
Joined
20 December 2017
Messages
383
Location
Vancouver, Canada
Visit site
Having just bought a new horse and being very excited about it, I am telling everyone! But the level of detail depends on the understanding of the person, my husband always asks how my lesson was and time at the barn. If he doesn't understand a term I use, he'll ask and I explain (he's not always the wiser!). This thread made me think of this meme :D

Party.jpgParty.jpg
 
Top