Competition pony advert - can I have some help with wording and price?

I

icklemadame

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As I've had no response from Horse Quest I'm going to re-advertise her on the Pony Club website and probably some others and hope I get a better response!!
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The wording for her Horse Quest ad was this:
"A super duper little all rounder who really has been there and done it all, she’s taken care of her little owner for many years and now she has moved on to start eventing her first horse Lady is looking for a new home and a child to take care of!!

An easy peasy pony to handle and ride, she is the perfect combination of being really sweet and cuddly, not minding small children around her feet, and yet being a superb competition pony, she jumps for fun and has competed up to Newcomers BSJA and will pop round an open/3ft xc course without a hesitation. Her jump is careful and very easy to sit, she really does know her job and does it all for you, you just have to sit and steer!! She is well schooled with three lovely paces, and is easy to do in every way – she hacks alone and in company, in front or behind, you can lead her or lead from her, and she isn’t worried by heavy traffic, dogs, tractors etc – absolutely nothing fazes her!! She’s also good to catch, shoe, load etc.

She is the perfect childs second pony and is ready and waiting to go out competing and playing at Pony Club this summer!!"

I'll obviously put her age and size in as well!!
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I was wondering whether to make it more focused on her being a true competition pony - she's one of those ones who you can stick any child on and she'll go into a ring and do her job, you kinda push the button and off she goes, clear and fast everytime!

And what does everyone think she's worth?

Thank you!!
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Iv commented on the pics.
Wording, less childish with the easy peasy bit....... (sound a little bit ... naive or childlike in the writing with that bit)

I think the advert is good as its clear she does comps really well, but can be a kids safety pony too (which people are willing to pay alot for!)

how much are u thinking for her?
 
[ QUOTE ]
(size age bred) for sale. A fantastic little all rounder who really has been there and done it all, she’s taken care of her little owner for many years and who has moved on to start eventing her first horse.

Lady is looking for a new home and a child to take care of.She is excellent to handle and ride, doesn't mind small children around her. Lady is a superb competition pony, she jumps for fun and has competed up to Newcomers BSJA and will pop round an open/3ft xc course without a hesitation. Her jump is careful and very easy to sit, she really does know her job and does it all for you, you just have to sit and steer!! She is well schooled with three lovely paces, and is easy to do in every way – she hacks alone and in company, in front or behind, you can lead her or lead from her, and she isn’t worried by heavy traffic, dogs, tractors etc – absolutely nothing fazes her!! She’s also good to catch, shoe, load etc.

[/ QUOTE ]

have change it a little other might be able to do a better job though
 
I would say:
"--.-hh, --yo mare. Super allrounder who has been there, done that.
Easiest horse to do, great with children.
Jumps for fun, up to newcomers BSJA to date, and jumping 3ft xc courses. Placed everytime out, knows her job very well.
She has 3 lovely paces, and is well schooled on the flat.
Great to hack alone or in company, will go all day, never spooky, silly or nappy!!
Great to load/clip/shoe/catch etc

She really is a one in a million pony, and is ready to compete, or be anything you want her to be. Sad sale as rider moving onto horses."

How old is she and what height?
If 8- 12yo and about 14.2hh, I would put her up for 4.5k, pony club mothers will pay for a good pony!
 
To me the advert is too wishy washy, sounds like you are trying to sell a big cuddly teddy bear rather than a competition pony.
As the mother of a Pony Clubber and Junior BSJA rider, I prefer Coffee_Beans advert.
Sorry to be harsh but adverts are not cheap!
Good luck.
 
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