Completely pointless rant but need to get it out of my system (long)

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Luce1504

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Right well a bit of background first- Me and my sister have always ridden and got our first mare 11 years ago when I was 13 and my sister 11 (we used to share her), we then acquired our second mare about 2 years later and we both used to look after both horses between us, although I rode the cob mainly and my sister rode the TB x mainly.

Anyhow my sister has over the past few years lost interest in the horses. I can to some extent understand this, as we all know what a big commitment horses are. However the thing that really gets to me is that she has started this year riding for other people. She is backing a horse for a friend, and showing 2 others for someone who has too many horses in the same classes. I just can't get my head round someone who will get up at 6am to go to shows to ride someone elses horses but yet doesn't even know what her own horse has been fed all winter and has been known to leave them in until 11am when I did ask her to put them out for me one Sat after I'd had a heavy Friday night
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I now no longer trust her to do them and will ask my non-horsey OH or my dad to do them if I can't, which is a sad reflection of how bad her lack of interest is. The people she rides for all think she is fantastic and dedicated and looks after her own horses impeccably because they don't realise it is me doing it all! and she will ring me up telling me all about the shows and how the young horse she is backing is progressing but yet has probably only stepped foot through the gates to the yard about half a dozen times this year (its about 50 yards from the front door of the house).

The fact that she won't ride also means that I don't get to ride anywhere near as often as I'd like as our 2 mares have severe separation anxiety, and so will not hack out alone and we don't have a school and our fields are on a hill so not really suitable either. Luckily I have a friend who will ride out with me whenever she can but its not that often
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It would be easy to say I should sell her horse and in some ways I wish I could but firstly I am attached to her also (even though I would never have chosen to have 2 on my own as I really struggle for time). Secondly we keep the horses at my parents house and so if I sold my sisters mare then I would still need to buy another companion pony which whilst I would buy something smaller, it does still seem mad to sell one to buy one and I would probably still have the same issue separating them.

Its just such a frustrating predicament to have got myself into, and there is no way out its just something I have to get on with and I do love my horses to bits, it doesn't usually bother me too much but I have just wound myself up about it recently and needed to get it out of my system.

Cookies, wine, chocolate... the works, for getting this far!!
 
I can see how annoying that would be. I don't have any horsey siblings and I like it that way! Could you not look fer a sharer for teh TB? It might allow you to ride out more and they might even put a little towards the up keep.
 
That would definitely be an option but I just think it will be near impossible to find a sharer who would be willing to fit in their riding to suit with me or vice versa, as we have nowhere to school and whilst we have fantastic hacking, they will not leave each other to hack out alone.

The TB is actually the better of the 2 at going out alone and I did brave it about 6 weeks ago to try and take her and we got round the block ok but she was drippin with sweat, was jogging continuously and felt like she would bomb home if i'd let her, and I wouldn't want to have a sharer deal with this as I could never forgive myself if something happened. But if there is someone out there who would be willing to ride at the same time as me then I think that would be a fantastic solution!
 
I do, but time is at a premium when doing the 2 I have, so don't really want to add a 3rd into the equation, but having said that if it meant that the 2 mares would hack out separately then maybe finding a sharer would be easier. I maybe should look into finding a sharer and then once i've done that get a pony so that we are not tied to hacking out together.
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I've tried putting the sheep in with them (my dad keeps sheep) but my sisters mare just chases them round continuously and I think would end up killing them as they are so exhausted by the end.
 
I guess I could but its not something I have ever tried before and whilst there is a bridle path which runs through our fields and therefore I have direct off road hacking it is a woodland path once through our fields and it is very narrow, and so the horses would have to be in single file and as most of the time is spent ducking under branches etc I don't think it would be most suitable.

The other direction involves going straight out onto a main road that is fairly busy so not sure if I trust them to behave enough for me to ride and lead, but it is a straight wide road and I only have to ride about 1/3 of a mile on it before I can turn onto quieter lanes, so it may be a possibility but I think it would be my last resort- thanks for the suggestion though!
 
I think your sister needs to take responsibility for her own horse ideally. I know how difficult it can be with family politics etc but it is just not on to be leaving you to deal with the separation anxiety of the 2 mares alone. It sounds like you barely get any time in the saddle because of it! I would tell her honestly that she is taking the p£$@ riding for other people and not helping you out looking after her own horse on her doorstep.
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Oh believe me there has been many a heated discussion between me and my sister over this. The last one resulting in my mum saying that she was going to have both horses shot to end the problem
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I don't think she is ever going to change her ways, and I have cried many tears of frustration as i could throttle her sometimes- this weekend being one of them and I guess is what sparked me on to post this. She had been out competing all weekend leaving me to sort out the electric fence that had blown down in the wind,find and retrieve and fill up the big water tubs that had again blown away in the wind, then poo pick the big field which took a good couple of hours as well as a load of other chores, then she turned up with the lady whose horses she had been competing and caught the horses to show her them and was chatting away about them and even arranging for this lady to pull her horses mane and tail and neaten them up as they are a mess at the mo (dig at me) - well that was red rag to a bull and I had to walk away.

But I guess at the end of the day it is now my problem because if I didn't do her horse then it would have to be sold and then my horse would be on its own and would go ballistic.
 
Its just sooo frustrating, I could deal with the fact that she had completely lost interest in horses full stop if she had, but sometimes I guess I feel like a mug for doing the hard work while she takes all the glory like what happened at weekend.

But nothing is gonna change, I'm just going to have to deal with it like I have done for the past few years. I love both horses and I get so much enjoyment from looking after them and they are pretty much my life. I just wish I got more opportunity to ride and a bit of help with all the jobs so that more of the little spare time I have could be spent on actually enjoying the horses.

I do think a little pony probably is going to be the only solution to me being able to hack out alone, but right at this minute I am not in a position to be able to get one even though I have the room, but fingers crossed I may be able to at some point.
 
To be perfectly honest, I think you should sell your sisters horse and get yourself a companion.
 
Well, here's my random idea. Get a companion horse (I think yours is an ideal situation to loan or buy a lame but otherwise healthy horse or pony, say from ILPH, but go for something small and hardy so you're not using up yet more time). Then, loan out your sister's horse. This way, if the loaner appears when you fancy riding, you can hack out together, and if not, your anxious sister's horse will have company so that you can go out alone. How does that sound?
 
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