Compliments with a sting in the tail...(this has become a rant)

Mavis Cluttergusset

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....I'm kind of getting used to them, but each time a new 'compliment' comes along, the inevitable sting hurts a bit more!

I am entering a few classes at a couple of local shows in a few weeks' time, so I thought that perhaps I ought to school at least a couple times in the pelham I intend to use for some of the classes. I found myself another set of reins, and was so preoccupied with the naughty thievery of said second pair off the grimy depths of the floor under the saddles that I forgot to pick up my schooling whip and didn't think to put spurs on. Started schooling, was very surprised at how nicely P went in a pelham, was secretly rather chuffed that we managed what felt like a very passable medium trot. Attempted 20m circle in canter which was alright - would have been better if I'd been in possession of whip/spurs as P is superbly lazy. All the while I can see scary other person from yard watching me and clearly talking about what I was doing. Ignored her and carried on schooling. Scary person approaches.

'P looks like she is going very well'. Thanks, I say, and try to carry on. 'Her trot was very nice'... Thanks, I say again. Attempt to walk off. '...shame about the canter though. That wasn't very good at all'.... Ouch. '....its not her best pace is it. Who told you to start using that bit?' Errr....nobody. I thought it up all by myself.

Fortunately at this point somebody starts flying a kite in the next door field, pony in paddock on other side starts to go beserk, P is fixated by kite and cannot move without assistance so I call it a day.

I was quite chuffed with how she went - so why, now I am sat at home, do I feel the need to justify why I wanted to try it, why my canter was so crap, and how I managed to think up trying it all on my own without anyone telling me to? I don't comment on this person's bizarre fixation with themselves and their unfounded confidence in their dressage ability, so why do they want to belittle me the entire time? I wouldn't mind if they were qualified to comment, but they aren't. In fact me and P whooped their backsides in the last dressage test we both did, so why can't she just mind her own business?
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Feel free to ignore that, it turned into rather a rant
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joeanne

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Oh sod the nasty comment giver. Who CARES if her canter was not spot on??
You said yourself, her trot was lovely, so focus on what WAS good and next time you can work on the rest!
P is your horse, so only what you think really matters.
Next time you see said busybody schooling you can return the favour.
Some people can never just make a nice comment can they?
 

ElliePippa

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Ahhh Poor You, as i have no experience with yard politics, i cant help you, but as you say, you beat them, so you must inevitabley, be the better rider. simple as.
Dont get yourself down hun, its just one of those things
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NR99

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You need to thank her kindly for her comments and say you'll take them on board, if she was trying to be helpful and going about it in the wrong way no harm done and if she was being a cow then it will annoy the hell out of her x
 

JoBo

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Oh I know exactly how you feel, I have a friend who is very quick with the compliments but then very clever with an end dig.
I got ‘Oh he is doing so well at Novice now, shame he won’t go higher then Elementary’, and ‘Well done on the first, were there no nice horses there then?’.

She is just jealous that my cob beats her expensive Warmblood though (according to her cobs are the lowest of the low), so I find it quite funny.

Just try to brush it off, I know easier said then done though!
 

Ellies_mum2

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[ QUOTE ]
You need to thank her kindly for her comments and say you'll take them on board, if she was trying to be helpful and going about it in the wrong way no harm done and if she was being a cow then it will annoy the hell out of her x

[/ QUOTE ]



I so agree with this comment
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Put so much nicer than I would have said it
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MrsMozart

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As bat-face talks, imagine you're sat/stood blowing raspberries at her and saying "Kiss my ar$e".

Works for me every time. Means I end up smiling sweetly and ignoring every word uttered
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Mavis Cluttergusset

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[ QUOTE ]
Oh I know exactly how you feel, I have a friend who is very quick with the compliments but then very clever with an end dig.
I got ‘Oh he is doing so well at Novice now, shame he won’t go higher then Elementary’, and ‘Well done on the first, were there no nice horses there then?’.

She is just jealous that my cob beats her expensive Warmblood though (according to her cobs are the lowest of the low), so I find it quite funny.

Just try to brush it off, I know easier said then done though!

[/ QUOTE ]

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Those are EXACTLY the type of comments I get!! I do try not to take them to heart but when it's the type of person who genuinely believes they rule the yard and put us all in the shade with their exemplary riding skills, it's quite difficult. Oh for some self confidence!!
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H's mum

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I'm LOL'ing whilst typing this... a yard wouldn't be the same without the dressage diva! I wouldn't worry too much - I think I've posted before about her being a bit pea-green that you beat her at her own game
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Enjoy what you're doing and "narna's" to her!
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Kate x
 

f_s_

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I feel the need for the "You can be..." line!!!
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Alternatively, next time she's so horrible, look her straight in the eye and say "Thank you, none taken!!!"

She probably won't get it, but you can have a lovely chuckle to yourself!!
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Whilst doing this, you need to think that this lonely sad person, has only one objective in life and that is to be a know it all. Keep your chin up, and well done
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You're obviously doing better than her if you're beating her!!
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abracadabra

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either ignore her, shes clearly a jealous, insecure bint who is trying to put you down to make herslef feel better

or... return the favour when shes on her horse

or... thank her kindly for her advice, but tbh youd rather ask somebody competent/qualified/whos opinion you give a [****] about (delete as applicable) , if you require feedback at any point...lol
 

Mavis Cluttergusset

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I'm not sure if I should admit this, but myself and another livery jump on a Friday morning (this is itself is not the shameful thing). He loves building technical courses with loads of fillers, doubles, triples etc, and she insists on taking the entire course down before riding in the school (even though it's built outside the 20x40 arena to allow for dressage practice). We have started to put out as many poles, wings and fillers as is humanly possible. 59 at last count (we know, she counts them as she puts them away).

Juvenile? Very. Satisfying? Extremely.
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Pedantic

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[ QUOTE ]
I'm not sure if I should admit this, but myself and another livery jump on a Friday morning (this is itself is not the shameful thing). He loves building technical courses with loads of fillers, doubles, triples etc, and she insists on taking the entire course down before riding in the school (even though it's built outside the 20x40 arena to allow for dressage practice). We have started to put out as many poles, wings and fillers as is humanly possible. 59 at last count (we know, she counts them as she puts them away).

Juvenile? Very. Satisfying? Extremely.
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[/ QUOTE ]

Love your siggy Mavis lol, I like your style
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regarding putting stuff out for the dozy sod to put away
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abracadabra

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[ QUOTE ]
I'm not sure if I should admit this, but myself and another livery jump on a Friday morning (this is itself is not the shameful thing). He loves building technical courses with loads of fillers, doubles, triples etc, and she insists on taking the entire course down before riding in the school (even though it's built outside the 20x40 arena to allow for dressage practice). We have started to put out as many poles, wings and fillers as is humanly possible. 59 at last count (we know, she counts them as she puts them away).

Juvenile? Very. Satisfying? Extremely.
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[/ QUOTE ]

lol, flowerpots!
get some flowerpots out too
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to get your horse used to decorated fences in the ring, obviously, haha
 

Mavis Cluttergusset

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Oh good plan! I was wondering about shavings bales (for working hunter practice - we dont have strawbales so they would have to do and they happen to be quite cumbersome)
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Slinkyunicorn

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[ QUOTE ]
I'm not sure if I should admit this, but myself and another livery jump on a Friday morning (this is itself is not the shameful thing). He loves building technical courses with loads of fillers, doubles, triples etc, and she insists on taking the entire course down before riding in the school (even though it's built outside the 20x40 arena to allow for dressage practice). We have started to put out as many poles, wings and fillers as is humanly possible. 59 at last count (we know, she counts them as she puts them away).

Juvenile? Very. Satisfying? Extremely.
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[/ QUOTE ]

Loving it......
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Next time she needs the feel to chip in thank her for her valuable input.....then make V signs behind her back
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- also very childish but also very satisfying.......
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abracadabra

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[ QUOTE ]
then make V signs behind her back
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- also very childish but also very satisfying.......
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[/ QUOTE ]

thanks for that, ive just spat a mouthful of hot tea out, laughing
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now the dog is staring at me in amazement,lol
 

skewby

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I learned to deal with "onlookers" by riding so badly, I had a massive audience every time I tacked up. And I had to get on with it. It was horrendous but it taught me to block them out. When I went out and started really doing things, well, with my horse, they shut the thingy up and stopped watching. They are always going to be at livery yards ready to pounce, and they captialise on any insecurities you have. Just get rid of the insecurities, carry on in your own sweet way and have them eat their hats. That's what I did anyway
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f_s_

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Oh I love the idea of the jumps!!!
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Perhaps you could incorporate a full seating area, for the audience!!!
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Would serve her right!!
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DebbieCG

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With regards to comments that are usually back handed compliments I never have a good retort ready. I think if you are the type of person that doesn't say anything derogatory to others it is therefore more of a surprise when you are on the receiving end, but a lot of people give them out, especially on the equestrian scene!

One comment i received a few years ago was when my horse had just got back from equine college where she had obviously been schooled/in lessons 5 times a week for most of the year. (When I am looking after my horse I don't have time to ride/school 5 times a week - hence why she is at equine college).

The person said to me: 'Your horse looks really well. I've never seen her looking so well.'

All I could reply was 'Thank you, yes she does doesn't she.'

What else can you say to these type of comments?
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And that was one of the more mild ones.
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Mavis Cluttergusset

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Next time the silly cow offers her words of wisdom tell her to get on P and show you how it's done...

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I am tempted. Trouble is there is always the risk that she might ride her better than me, then Id look even sillier!!
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CrazyMare

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Its alright - I can lend you at least one horse that would rather dump a rider than cooperate if the rider pulls the 'I can ride, therefore I am bossing you' card.

Especially embarrassing when one is only 13hands!
 

Mavis Cluttergusset

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hee! P is easy enough, but it's quite hard to get her to work 'properly'. This lady has no concept of that anyway so my sneakiness would go unrewarded - in her mind she would have ridden her better anyway.

Note to self: Must grow up soon.
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