Confessions of a Dog Owner

[ChesnutsRoasting]

OK, I'm slightly obsessed with Simon Mayos Confessions, on Radio 2. My confession takes you back to 1982. I was obsessed with dogs. After five years of persistent pestering my parents, Ben arrived. A Sheltie x Cavi, a saint in dogs clothing and the sweetest dog I have ever known. Now, I was 10 and desired a slightly harder dog than Ben Forgive me GSD owners for the following - I taught him "attack". As there were no willing participants, I taught him to attack ME. Don't. Even. Go. There. Luckily for me, Ben was not in the least bit interested in attacking me and the furthest I got was him gripping my sleeve with an unenthusiastic and reluctant growl. I look back and am mortified by my behaviour, dressing him up in Spurs clothing, getting him to jump a homemade Hickstead, it haunts me () So I seek forgiveness from all of AAD for my doggy mistakes.

 

[CorvusCorax]

Bless me, for I have sinned.

1998. Handling class. Kenzo did not suddenly go hopping lame and start screaming for no reason. I stood on his hock. It was an accident. He was being a drama queen.

 

[ChesnutsRoasting]

Bless me, for I have sinned.

1998. Handling class. Kenzo did not suddenly go hopping lame and start screaming for no reason. I stood on his hock. It was an accident. He was being a drama queen.

Forgiven. No question

 

[CorvusCorax]

Well he was a GSD, his hocks were all long and floppy and treadable-on

You are pardoned too. by the GSD Mafia, who was to know he wouldn't make a protection dog? Have you SEEN the Mister Murphy video on YouTube?

 

[ChesnutsRoasting]

Well he was a GSD, his hocks were all long and floppy and treadable-on

You are pardoned too. by the GSD Mafia, who was to know he wouldn't make a protection dog? Have you SEEN the Mister Murphy video on YouTube?

Mister Murphyno. But if it will ease my guilt, then I'm off to search!

 

[EAST KENT]

Bless me ,sinner that I am. My first dog ,when I was eight years old. I taught him how to jump sideways through the expensive pig netting newly erected around our acre of garden,thereafter he had a little bald patch on top of his tail,where the wire hit it as he escaped, again.
ALSO indignantly told a policeman that MY DOG was eight months old..not five ,as my mother said. The call was about his roaming ,and if he had a licence.. Result court fine. Result Two, new fence..which I taught him to jump through.
ALSO,taught him obedience and tricks well, and put him in a downstay..then forgot about him for an hour. Dog still there ,on the tennis court,waiting.
Just a beagley looking mongrel,but a child`s best friend !

 

[ChesnutsRoasting]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rTN5kTkdvME

Wow, what a dog! Mr Murphy is a star.

 

[ChesnutsRoasting]

Bless me ,sinner that I am. My first dog ,when I was eight years old. I taught him how to jump sideways through the expensive pig netting newly erected around our acre of garden,thereafter he had a little bald patch on top of his tail,where the wire hit it as he escaped, again.
ALSO indignantly told a policeman that MY DOG was eight months old..not five ,as my mother said. The call was about his roaming ,and if he had a licence.. Result court fine. Result Two, new fence..which I taught him to jump through.
ALSO,taught him obedience and tricks well, and put him in a downstay..then forgot about him for an hour. Dog still there ,on the tennis court,waiting.
Just a beagley looking mongrel,but a child`s best friend !

Wonderful!

 

[Gingermonkey]

I am not sure I can be forgiven for this but it's worth a try. We had a JRT and I convinced a school chum that they had docked tails so they could be hung on the washing line to dry. When we met up again in our teens and became best drinking buddies, she told me that she got into so much trouble for hoisting her pup, Jacob (JRT) onto her mothers washing line complete with pegs... I really am sorry

 

[CorvusCorax]

Ahahahahahaha!!!!!

 

[ChesnutsRoasting]

I am not sure I can be forgiven for this but it's worth a try. We had a JRT and I convinced a school chum that they had docked tails so they could be hung on the washing line to dry. When we met up again in our teens and became best drinking buddies, she told me that she got into so much trouble for hoisting her pup, Jacob (JRT) onto her mothers washing line complete with pegs... I really am sorry

Your confession is making me feel so much better

 

[Gingermonkey]

I am so pleased to have confessed...my soul is so much lighter now

 

[lillylau]

When I was little I used to walk my aunties JRT we used to go down to the lakes and I used to throw him in ashamed now. I used to laugh at him swimming back to shore. I also used to dress him up as a baby girl

 

[orionstar]

When I was 9 I tied my sisters trike to the Old English Candy that we had, because I wanted a chariot. Candy threw a hissy fit and it resulted in a chunk of my knee being left on the handle bar. Dad then fixed it with a bottle of raw iodine I still feel guilty about it as she was a lovelly dog!

 

[CAYLA]

FORGIVE ME....but don't ever let my mother know

We where told NEVER throw Sticks for the dogs EVER well me ignoring this and throwing one off the side of the house ended up in my mam prize shepherd running into said wall and the stick going straight through her tongue sorry (shera) I was about 10 and never did own up because I would have been given shut a "good hiding" my arse prob would have combusted "omg how did that happen mam?" dog was ok, had about 30 stitches in tongue

For blowing in my nanas cavis face under the old side board thinking her teeth looked rather funny showing through her lips and making her very very bad tempered, no hiding escape that time my nana tanned my arse raw
I was only about 7

Forgive me OH for not telling you it was my mams GSD that ate your ferrets

 

[JFTDWS]

Forgive me, father, for I too have sinned. My first dog, a little cavalier, was subjected to regular showjumping competitions in the spare room, and was broken in using those ornamental /toy miniature saddles and bridles you used to get. She accepted being ridden by a stuffed animal tied onto the saddle with exceptional grace.

More recently (two days ago) I told my current collie to jump into the back of the landy. I had neglected to open the door more than an inch at the time. The dog is very trusting and failed to look before he leapt. Dog is now sporting a fetching line across his forehead where he smacked it off the bottom of the landy door.

How many "Hail Mary"s should I expect?

 

[stencilface]

Forgive me, I used to lay our guinea pigs along the belly of our lab cross when I was about 8, so it was like she had puppies. I think she quite enjoyed it though, and thankfully didn't eat any of them!

 

[HeatherAnn]

These are so funny!

Mine is only tiny. When I was about 3 I committed a sin, mum's friend's mongrel dog sat there looking downhearted whilst I stood giggling tugging his ears, making him yelp each time. Poor dog just sat there, he could have easily have walked away or eaten me but he didn't. But alas, this game wasn't long lived as when my mother saw what I was doing my ear was promptly tugged until I yelped

 

[Bionic Boy]

I am not sure I can be forgiven for this but it's worth a try. We had a JRT and I convinced a school chum that they had docked tails so they could be hung on the washing line to dry. When we met up again in our teens and became best drinking buddies, she told me that she got into so much trouble for hoisting her pup, Jacob (JRT) onto her mothers washing line complete with pegs... I really am sorry

Pricesless

I too am guilty of dressing my boxer dog up in many a different outfit and also making him do a clear round show jumping in the back garden. When i look back i do feel sorry for him but he did seem to enjoy it.

 

[Archangel]

Forgive me, I told my OH that Purdey helped me eat a packet of Jaffa cakes yesterday.
But she didn't, I ate the whole lot myself

I mean chocolate is bad for her so I couldn't possibly let her have one

 

[ChesnutsRoasting]

The knowledge that I amongst fellow sinners on AAD, brings me great comfort

 

[horsemadelsie]

When I was little I used to walk my aunties JRT we used to go down to the lakes and I used to throw him in ashamed now. I used to laugh at him swimming back to shore. I also used to dress him up as a baby girl

Two years ago my JRT was too scared to swim so I threw her in the sea while we were on holiday. Turns out she can swim and quite enjoyed it afterwards- I don't feel the teeniest bit guilty about it though!

I guess I should apologise to my mum though. When I was tiny (and could barely walk) I used to dress up our springer in all the clean clothes mum was trying to iron. He didn't mind bless him He also would come when I called him 'ish' because I couldn't yet pronounce 'Ricky' Oh, and I used to steal his toys and wouldn't let him have mine. He was such a good dog!

 

[SpottyTB]

When I was about 6, I used to put a headcoller on our collie and lead him around. He was also lunged often (with a bamboo stick as a lunge whip), jumped many courses of jumps, was fed carrots in a bucket, stabled In the shed and groomed with an inch of his life..

He is such a good dog, or though at 15 he still doesn't like the brush.. Think I put him off!

 

[Littlelegs]

Forgive me father for what happened with my first pyrenean. Although we always had them as a family, first one that was 'my' pup was when I was 7 or so. He was a particularly large one when grown too. I used to take him out alone, & had the bright idea of teaching him the 'kill' command. This involved him running full pelt at my close friends, jumping up & knocking them over in an over excited & friendly way. Fantastic fun when I spotted a friend across a field etc.
At school I had a fall out with a lad who threatened to get his 12 yr old sister from big school to beat me up, I said I would set the dog on them. A few days later I spotted him across a local playing fields & thought it would be fun to tell the dog to 'kill'. Cue him running for his life until the dog bowled him over & licked him to death in his usual friendly way until I stopped laughing enough to get him to heel.
Being a kid, I had no concept of him being unused to dogs beforehand, let alone that he would remain petrified for years after of all dogs. And before I am sent to hell, in my defence I was a mostly unsupervised child with no idea of giant dogs being either scary or labelled dangerous!

 

[vieshot]

Oooooo dear!

When I was young we had a lovely lurcher called Kiffy. She was a typical sighthound wanting to chase small animals. We had four cats at the time and my parents had worked very hard to ensure she knew the boundaries and that 'our cats' werent for chasing. When my parents went out I would encourage Kiffy to come with me on what I refered to as being a 'catty hunt' lol. We would go round together finding the cats and chasing them out of the house.

 

[maryk91]

I'm told I learned to walk by pulling myself up by our mongrel terrier's ears. I also dressed him up, told him to stay and forgot about him for an hour or so, and had to be fetched to tell him he could move. I do remember harnessing him to a 'cart' (bottom bit of doll's pram) and stealing his maggotty bone. Dogs are too good for us.

 

[Kitty B]

My mom always had Dalmatians, but for the first few years of my life we also had a pair of St Bernards that belonged to my father. My brother used to push me off our shetland pony, so my confession is this... I used to climb up onto Sam's back when he was lying down, and pretended he was a pony instead. In my defense, I was two, he was built like a tank, and he didn't seem to mind! He was so patient with me... made a rotten 'pony', but he was a great dog!

 

[Karran]

I too used to dress my labrador up, harness her to a sledge/kiddy wheelbarrow and tell her to "mush" and take her showjumping.
I used to feed her grass too on a regular basis (not my fault if dog was then sick). I'd take her dinner away and make her sit and stay again just for the fun of it, another "fun" game i'd play as a child was to stalk her as she slept and wake her up by grabbing her tail or feet.

I was a horrible child and I have no idea why she put up with it.

My brother also painted her green with poster paint to make her prettier.

 

[Red30563]

My brother also painted her green with poster paint to make her prettier.

Erm... Pics??

This thread is hilarious. I think you are all forgiven, because you have made me laugh so much. (And what saints our dogs are!)

 

[paisley]

For my wickedness: my fathers tough-as-nails JRT was err, lucky enough to get a helium balloon tied to his collar.
He jumped up at it for ages, till the clever beggar managed to grab it and kill it