Confidence - 1 steps forward 2 steps back!

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Horses24-7

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Hi all

I'm hoping some of you could offer some kind advice on getting my confidence back.

Long story short was confident jumping and since fall of a missold horse - leading to a knee injury I just cant seem to shake off the nerves fully!

I have a new lovely experienced horse and I seem to be stuck in a pattern of having a really good lesson jumping 1m+ happily and confidently and then the next time I practice on my own at home my horse will get a wrong stride into a x pole and jump awkward and my nerves are back to square one- I do enjoy jumping but just getting frustrated with myself!

Should I just jump in my lessons for a bit? I'm wondering if on my own I dont ride forward enough hence the set backs?

Any advice much appreciated :)
 
I lost my jumping nerve after an accident and assumed I would never get it back. I would literally feel sick at the thought of jumping anything bigger than about 30cm. When my kids started jumping 45/50cm fences I decided it was ridiculous that 2 novice, wobbly children would jump things I wouldn't. So I decided to start jumping again. What helped me were:

1) Visualisations. I realised I did not dare even think about jumping. Imagining myself jumping made me feel sick and I'd push the thoughts away. So I just made myself visualise jumping until those fear responses stopped.
2) Private jumping lessons, with an instructor who knew how scared I was. I had about 4 or 5 I think starting with X poles.
3) Entering competitons. I started at 50 and realised that I was never nervous in the ring. So I now compete regularly.
4) Being creative about what I do at home. I have just accepted that if I am on my own I won't jump high. So I do exercises over grids or small jumps laid out in ways to work on different things - there is a work sheet on jumping exercises you can do with just 2-4 jumps or canter poles that I use. All just about 50-60cm high because the exercises are not about the heights of the jump but about straightness or rhythm or turns or lines or adjustability or whatever.
5) Never leaving it more than 10 days between jumping sessions. If I don't jump regularly then I lose my bottle again and have to go back a few steps to get it back again.

I still won't ever jump big on my own. But that's ok.
 
If you're happy jumping in lessons, back off the jumping alone. Do polework or cavaletti work, and give it time. Tarrsteps used to say that confidence comes of knowing that you have the skillset to deal with the situation you're putting yourself in - having faith in your system, and having the skills to apply that system. I used to dispute this, but in hindsight, I think it's very accurate. The more you train with your instructor, the more you'll develop your skills (or, possibly just remind yourself that they already exist), and the more your confidence will return.
 
I really like AE’s tips above. I’m similar. Not quite out of it yet (and not sure I ever will be tbh) but def in a better place now. It’s taken 18 months which is ridiculously slow but it that’s partly because I’ve been a bit hit and miss with training.
 
Thank you all for your replies :) I think some of it is me being impatient as uve had to have 18 months off riding due to said injury so spent the whole time feeling frustrated and wanting to crack on! Will take it steady and do the caviletti/small grids on my own and stick to jumping properly in lessons :) hopefully with time I will find my brave pants- also spent last night looking through old riding vids of myself and cant believe how much stronger as a rider I looked before the injury so this definitely cant be helping so probably ly just need some time as well to build back up my rider fitness
 
I don't jump these days but generally when I am feeling confident I use lessons to push myself out of my comfort zone and schooling at home to do what I know I am confident with, when feeling a bit wobbly confidence wise I use the lessons to build my confidence by focusing on what I know we can do well and I keep well within my comfort zone when on my own with the intention of setting myself up for success. I do, however, try to set myself an achievable challenge even if it's something quite small and insignificant. I am particularly careful with a new horse and a bit of a wuss generally so it's really important to keep topping my confidence up or it leaks out of me with the smallest setback! Why not just do some polework with the odd small jump at home, it won't do you or your horse any harm and it might do you both a lot of good.
 
Ambers Echo said:
I lost my jumping nerve after an accident and assumed I would never get it back. I would literally feel sick at the thought of jumping anything bigger than about 30cm. When my kids started jumping 45/50cm fences I decided it was ridiculous that 2 novice, wobbly children would jump things I wouldn't. So I decided to start jumping again. What helped me were:

1) Visualisations. I realised I did not dare even think about jumping. Imagining myself jumping made me feel sick and I'd push the thoughts away. So I just made myself visualise jumping until those fear responses stopped.
2) Private jumping lessons, with an instructor who knew how scared I was. I had about 4 or 5 I think starting with X poles.
3) Entering competitons. I started at 50 and realised that I was never nervous in the ring. So I now compete regularly.
4) Being creative about what I do at home. I have just accepted that if I am on my own I won't jump high. So I do exercises over grids or small jumps laid out in ways to work on different things - there is a work sheet on jumping exercises you can do with just 2-4 jumps or canter poles that I use. All just about 50-60cm high because the exercises are not about the heights of the jump but about straightness or rhythm or turns or lines or adjustability or whatever.
5) Never leaving it more than 10 days between jumping sessions. If I don't jump regularly then I lose my bottle again and have to go back a few steps to get it back again.

I still won't ever jump big on my own. But that's ok.
Click to expand...
Great tips.
 
JFTD-WS said:
Tarrsteps used to say that confidence comes of knowing that you have the skillset to deal with the situation you're putting yourself in - having faith in your system, and having the skills to apply that system
Click to expand...

She still does ;)

OP - I would back off at home, start at basics with pole work. Really think about rhythm and straightness to/over the pole. Then I would maybe add some raised poles. Then a cross pole. And so on. Just build it up slowly, when what you're doing becomes boring/comfortable/non-scary, up it.
Another Tarrsteps-ism is that the riders job is pace and direction, the horses job is to get over the obstacle. Admittedly this is aimed at me who is doing teeny tiny things but I don't see why it wouldn't apply if the horse knows his job and you're not doing anything big - get yourself to the fence and let the horse get you over it :)
 
I totally sympathise with you. You can't force it to come back or rush it. I struggled with my confidence jumping at the end of last year after one bad schooling session and am now only just getting back on top of it. I can't believe how long it's taken but I've just had to accept that's how long I've needed. I put everything on hold while I tried self-help, Rescue Remedy, Kalms, rider confidence websites, blogs, books, podcasts, self confident experts over the phone, a whole host of things! As somebody has said earlier, I think the best of all is having a system, this is what's working for me and makes me feel I will conquer it. I know what I'm supposed to be focused on at every fence and my mind is occupied with getting this right and not worry about the what ifs.It's so easy to ride defensively when you are lacking in confidence but this is the last thing you should be doing but I know it's so hard to have the confidence to just kick on. You will get there though!
 
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