Confidence crisis! Big dose of 'man up' needed!

HairyCoblet

HairyCoblet

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To cut a long story short I've been riding approx 10years on and off. I bought my first horse a couple of years ago- a 16hh ex racer who was brill when I tried him then turned into a complete nutter! It got to the point where I was terrified to ride him, he then had a moment in the school and I ended up with a broken hand!

I put him up forsale as I felt he needed someone with more experience and tbh I knew I would never ride him again!
Unfortunately no one seemed to be wanting nutty tb's and the fact I had a broken hand and couldn't ride him when people came to view him didn't help.
I was then offered a 'swap'. My tb went to a lovely home, and they are doing really well with him, I got a cob yearling. I've done a lot of ground work with him, totally fine with him on the ground but now we have started breaking him in I'm a nervous wreck!!

He's only been started on for a week, in this week he's never actually been naughty or tried anything.... I've been on him twice (someone else is breaking him in for me) and it's terrifying!
I feel ok when I have someone walking next to me but obviously this can't go on forever?

I've been having lessons the last few month to try and get myself back into it.

Any tips on becoming less of a wimp?!
 
I would get the horse away to a rider experianced in backing and riding away it's a real skill to it well find someone who does it all the time .
Nervous riders and newly backed horses is not a good combination honestly I feel your sixth sense is telling you the right things .
Let someone experianced get your horse ridden away ,keep going with your lessons and start together a bit further down the road .
 
I think just backed horses often feel 'scary' because they do not have the response to the aids you will be used to from more experienced horses, so you suddenly feel like you have no steering and no breaks etc. I think if he is being professionally started for you let them ride him for you and a month or more then get back on you may find he is not so scary after all because he will feel like backed horses feel rather than like the very very green horse he now is
 
I think it's totally understandable you feel the way you do. From what you say you had a bad fall a few years ago and although you've been around horses since then you've had very little riding time so you've probably built it up to something much bigger in your head than it is. If I haven't jumped for a while, I get like that, but by the end of the first lessson I can't wait to book the next one!

I would persevere with the lessons to build your confidence and let the person breaking him in carry on with his ridden work for now as a nervous rider and newly started horse isn't always the best combination. Spend as much time as you can with them while he's being ridden and just watch what he does and when you feel he's established enough for you to know he's not going to do anything, then get on him and build it up slowly - 5 minutes in walk is fine if that's what you're happy with. There's no shame in having someone walking with you and you can gradually have them further and further away from you. Go at your own pace and you'll get there. Good luck
 
The person doing the breaking will be with us for the next 3 weeks.
From next week I'm off work for a couple of weeks so I'll be able to be there every day with her- I figure even if I just get on a do a couple of laps of the school I'll get my confidence back eventually.

I've had him 2 years so I do know him well. I don't think he would do anything due to naughtiness.... I think it would be more a case of him being unsure with what I'm asking him to do!

He has been ridden in a open field with no problems at all!
I was thinking about keeping him going over Christmas then in January I was hoping to send him away to be schooled/brought on more!
 
You are very sensible asking for impartial advice.

What you want is a horse that you can jump onboard and it will give you confidence rather than scare you.

The last thing you want is a flighty thoroughbred or a youngster.

My advice is sell your youngster to a good experienced home and go out and buy yourself a nice friendly laid back schoolmaster that will give you the feel good factor and loads of confidence.

Best of luck.
 
OrangePepper said:
You are very sensible asking for impartial advice.

What you want is a horse that you can jump onboard and it will give you confidence rather than scare you.

The last thing you want is a flighty thoroughbred or a youngster.

My advice is sell your youngster to a good experienced home and go out and buy yourself a nice friendly laid back schoolmaster that will give you the feel good factor and loads of confidence.

Best of luck.
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Selling him is out of the question... hes got a home for life with me so hes not going anywhere.

I do think it will help me better as a rider if i persevere with him... Ive done more with him in the time ive had him (groundwork included) than i ever did with my tb.
 
OP let the person who's breaking him in - break him in and ride him away for the next couple of months. Then get on him.

It's a big deal starting a young horse, and it's not for everyone.
 
I would advise having someone else do the first 6 months of ridden work with him (at least), either them coming to you or having him on a full livery somewhere. In the interim you need to be riding safe experienced horses 2-3 a week, either friends/RS, to get you back into the swing of it.
 
Goldenstar said:
I would get the horse away to a rider experianced in backing and riding away it's a real skill to it well find someone who does it all the time .
Nervous riders and newly backed horses is not a good combination honestly I feel your sixth sense is telling you the right things .
Let someone experianced get your horse ridden away ,keep going with your lessons and start together a bit further down the road .
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Excellent advice, no point in setting yourself up to fail and this way you will be gaining confidence and watching your youngster's progress.
 
I used to back and ride youngsters all the time and it didn't bother me. However a couple of years ago I bought one and backed him after only riding my older one for ages. I was a nervous wreck when I rode him , even though he was good, and it felt so silly as I'd never been like that before. However after a couple of months I suddenly seemed to gain confidence with him and after that we were fine. Hopefully that will happen with you to and until then just make sure you have someone you can call on to help you when needed.
 
Gloi said:
I used to back and ride youngsters all the time and it didn't bother me. However a couple of years ago I bought one and backed him after only riding my older one for ages. I was a nervous wreck when I rode him , even though he was good, and it felt so silly as I'd never been like that before. However after a couple of months I suddenly seemed to gain confidence with him and after that we were fine. Hopefully that will happen with you to and until then just make sure you have someone you can call on to help you when needed.
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Thats what im like! If i can ride 2-3 times a week then im fine, even if its just a plod around the school for 10min, its when i dont ride for such a long time that the nerves kick in!
I dont think its helped, having such a long time off riding. Im still continuing with my lessons at a RS but for the next 3 weeks i will be getting on mine aswell, with someone there with me.

I just need to remember hes not the nutty tb.... hes the little fluffy cob thats chilled out and lets me do anything to him!
 
Yes, if you just keep riding him, doing unchallenging things to start with, hopefully you'll build your confidence up again.
 
As Gloi says! If you can spend some time with him while the trainer is available that will help. It doesn't matter if you spend an hour messing around at the mounting block finally getting on one side and straight away off the other! Then the next day you might be able to sit still without moving for a few minutes - this is excellent training for him as well as confidence building for you - baby steps!!! Good luck.
 
Well I did a few laps of the yard today, only in walk, but going in different directions, around obstacles and changing the rein.... I survived!
It felt fab!
 
Well in the space of 3 weeks i have gone from being a nervous nellie to being able to get on him, walk/trot him around the school and the yard without the need for someone to be near me haha!
We are slowly getting there :)
 
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