confidence crisis... how do I get over it

Angua2

Angua2

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*warning this is a bit long*

Last week I managed to get dumped. I hacked my mare out and she was remarkably spooky, but I thought she would improve when we got off the road and on to the tracks. Dispite the spooks off the livery yard, which would have been well suited to the mission impossible theme, we crossed over the main A121 a main road for north london that leads from J26 of the M25, and on to the tracks. Thought at this point that a trot was manageable and a controlled canter up the steep 1:10 incline hill. Hum.... this all went swimmingly until I went into a slight forward seat and then discovered that someone had activated the ejector seat while hitting the breaks...... I went straight over her head. At which point the baggage thought "oh no" and buggered off home.

I did get back on when I eventually got home and she tried to get me off in the school. I sat it! and I did do walk, trot and canter (while grasping the neck strap for dear life!). I was so glad to get off!

A supportive friend then took us on a hack the following day and we managed walk trot and canter.... although I didn't go into forward seat as it felt like she was bucking with the canter transition....... to say I was terrified was and understatement. The canter felt fast and uncontrolled. Although apparently it wasn't. I was glad to get home and have manged to avoid riding my girl right until today, when we managed to ride round my livery yard. I was sort of fine until some other horses were around and my girl started to jog..... a serious case of "arrg get me off" occurred.

The thought of cantering her now terrifies me.... how long is this going to last! how on earth do I get over it if I think I am going to get dumped everytime I have a canter.

Oh dear..... I have totally lost it haven't I.

Hot chocolate and marshmallows, baileys hagen dazs and what ever takes your fancy if you get this far
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sorry to hear about this, i'm sure evryone gets loses their confidence now and again though. it will get better with time i think you have to just keep working at it, taking baby steps. i was sh*t scared of my new mare running backwards with me but i have perservered and worked through it and now i take it in my stride.

in regards to your mare, have you had her back or teeth checked? there could be something underlying her behaviour and maybe understanding that could help you.
 
Not sure whether shes being excited, or has pain??
My friends horse started bucking for no reason, and she also lost her confidence. It transpired her had damaged muscles in his back,
Maybe get her checked out, before doing too much more with her. (Might feel more confident, if you knew why she was acting in this way?
Dont know if this helped.
 
Been there! Horrid isn't it? Unfortunately you cannot manufacture confidence! If it's any consolation, I find that ours are always super spooky in January.

Problem being that when they knock your confidence, they pick up on the subsequent nerves, and it makes them more spooky and sharp.

Take it slowly. Leave the canter for a bit & work on walk & trot. If you do canter, be focussed. Ask for the canter at a specific point, and pick another specific point after a few strides at which to make the downward transition. Get her listening to your aids so she is wondering what you are going to ask for, rather than wondering at which point she is going to do some acrobatics.

Good luck. You'll build your confidence back up in time!
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She had back and teeth done before christmas and her saddle is regularly checked. I have booked the back lady again as you never know.
 
hmm, sounds just about like me at the min!! i hacked ou couple of weeks ago and my boy started mini rearing on the road, every time i pushed him forward, he reared higher. i wimped out and got off. got back on, he did it again, i got off again. got back on and he was okay, hacked home. bring on massive confidence loss and general wimping. got on him fri, the second i got on he tried to get me off. i wimped out again, very nervous. so urgently called a very good instructer over for sat. got on him, he instantly tried to deck me, inst very good and led me down to the school where we proceeded to work him hard for an hour, i instantly started feeling better, like i was winning the battle. then hacked him out afterwards when he was tired, no issues. then hacked him out today, didbt even think of trying it!! i instantly feel better, that projects to him and all is better. things can detoriet so quickly (just like my confidence!) so i suggest you work on confirdence building exercises only until you feel better! i know just how you feel tho, not easy.xx
 
Natalie, I think you may have hit the nail on the head.

Will definatly follow your suggestion of walk and trot for a while..... I think we can cope with that. THe suggestion for canter is also a good one that I think I will do when the right moment presents, and she is not going to do her wonderful acrobatics
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THis is the wonderfuld thing about HHO, you are never alone it is so comforting to read that others have the same kind of thing..... Thankyou
 
Take time out on your confidence bit, everyone is going through the same thing at the moment. We've been spoilt by mild winters and now we have had some really rotten weather that use to be normal this time of year and finding it hard to cope with fresh horses and trying to fit everything in. More bad weather on the for Feb, so you can start getting a regime in place for her. To be honest it sounds like she was enjoying herself but forgot to tell you,as for your forward seat, perhaps you unbalanced yourself and her by going a little too far forward, done it myself many times, come off many times, that's what it is about riding, We cann't all be like the event or jumping elite, just normal
 
You are definitely not alone! My horse is acrobat extraordinaire! Some days he tries it on, but I'm full of confidence & can get him back into line straight away. Other days I am less confident, he tries it on, and I am a quivering wreck sitting nervously in the saddle waiting for the next unseating - and he clearly picks up on this & doesn't want to disappoint me! Once your confidence is restored, I am sure she will be much better behaved. It's all about taking control back.
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You will - old saying "the darkest hour is just before dawn" - its one of these if you want it bad enough you will acheive it.

Forget about canter I agree - do it when it feels right and if in a couple of months time you still dont feel right get someone you turst or a bit of a pushy riding instructor that you trust to go out with you, even if it is just on the ground.

Sounds like your nedster just took advantage of your forward seat, and this can happen to anyone - i know it did to me about 2 years ago - in front of my entire yard - now that is a confidence issue ! lol - still worry about my first canters out but make the fear your friend (quoteing the marines new tv ad) and it will help you grit your teeth, kick on and say "no you bugger - you arent getting me OFF !" once the horse senses you really mean it - they usually back off. (assuming here no pain issues)

Good luck - you will look back on this post in about June and laugh that you felt like this.
 
simple solution ............. just cut out all the bucket feed and just feed best quality hay or haylage! turnout as much as possible! and work as hard as possible! if of normal weight for build they will not waste away! unless the horse is working in excess of 90 mins per day they dont require much if any additional food bar best hay and haylage!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
[ QUOTE ]
simple solution ............. just cut out all the bucket feed and just feed best quality hay or haylage! turnout as much as possible! and work as hard as possible! if of normal weight for build they will not waste away! unless the horse is working in excess of 90 mins per day they dont require much if any additional food bar best hay and haylage!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[/ QUOTE ]

Sounds simple but in reality not actually possible!
 
Oh no, been there and know how you feel. I ended up going back to basics and for a while I didn't canter on a hack, and I would only canter in the school when I had someone I trusted or my instructor on the ground with me, slowly but surely it did the trick.

It may be her back, ever since I got back on after the snow I wasn't happy with George something didn't seem quite right, his canter transitions were rushed and he was throwing his head in the air and almost leaping into canter. When the back lady came out the muscles in George's bum were in spasm, but now she has worked on him he seems to be back to old George.

Take care.
 
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