Confidence crisis!

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MissJael

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I had a bad fall from a supposedly safe HW hunter last year after he bolted with me, it completely shattered my confidence although I did get back on and ride.

Since then I've only ridden one other horse as I have none of my own at the moment and since he is a hunter too I have got some stupid notion in my head that any hunter is going to bolt with me and jump whatever's in its way!

I know this is ridiculous and I can't tar every horse that's ever hunted with the same brush, I'm due to ride a new horse in the morning and am bricking it!

I know I am being silly but has anyone any tips for how to get off to a good start with the new horse tomorrow (also a hunter!)

Many thanks
 
Hi Kat55546

Correct, quiet riding will work, believe me!

You just need time to learn + trust the new chap. Time to get to know him is the key, i think.

Another idea is - not get a hunter (if your confidence has been so shattered by one)

Maybe you need to ask yourself what you want to do with the horse? Do you want to hunt? If not, then why keep looking at hunters? (Out of the mouths of babes + sucklings?!! Please forgive me if i've missed anything)

My best advice is to take your trainer with you to look at the horse. Trainer knows you, + his/her experience will know within a minute if horse is suitable for what you want.

Speaking as one whose first horse used to bolt for Britain, flung myself off countless times - well they're not all like that, friend! Ride everything you can get your hands on, do BHS stages, BSJA, BE, just do it!

By riding loads, experiencing loads, is only way to learn, then we build confidence.

Look upon horse you're riding tomorrow as someone who can teach you, please ride him like you like him as a friend, not as someone with whom you need to 'get off to a good start', like it's some sort of battle. Talk to his owners, learn more about him (including between-lines)

Hoping this makes sense, i mean well, both to you + horse, all bests, BS x
 
poor you, confidence is such a fragile thing (mine has been shattered into a million pieces)

can you go back a few steps and have some lessons/fun on something bombproof?

i agree with BrandySnap, when you get on him, it's not about a battle you have to win, it's about finding a partner/friend.

going to bore you with my story...
this time last year, i had decided i'd never be able to ride again, after an experience that shattered my confidence (evil horse repeatedly tried to kill me). to try and help me regain my nerves, my friend managed to persuade me to help exercise her horse... i rode her three times, then one day, on a hack, i jumped off and led her the 4 miles home. she hadn't done anything, i just decided riding wasn't for me anymore as i was so nervous.

i went home and cried. a lot. and i gave away all my horsey stuff i'd collected over my entire life (am now 31... that's a lot of stuff).

in about feb, my husband took pity on me, as apparently i was becoming a 'shadow' of myself... and persuaded me to buy something bombproof. i'd previously always had projects and the thought of 'bombproof' made me want to cry. but.... i did it. i looked at hundreds (my friend rode them all, i refused to get on any of them). and then i found raff. my friend rode him for about 2minutes before i decided i'd have a go. and i instantly fell in love with him.
when we got him home, i decided he'd make a far better field ornament than riding horse... but everyone forced me to get on him and ride. i literally had to run to the toilet and puke before i got on him. and when i was on, i'd shake so much my instructor used to make me let go of the reins because i'd jab him in the mouth. but... within a few weeks, i was able to get on without spewing. and able to plod him round. i rode him until i was 7months pregnant. he's now got a few months off until i'm allowed to ride again.... but, i'm soooo excited about the thought of riding him again. i can't wait to do xc schooling, dressage clinincs, SJ, galloping along the beach, cantering through stubble fields. all the things i've missed out on whilst being petrified. my point is, you can lose every shred of confidence, but the right horse can find it for you again. i'll always be a nervous rider after having an accident, as i thought i was indestructible before, and now i know i'm not.

but, i can still enjoy riding, and hopefully you'll be able to find that too?

good luck. reeeeeelax. xxx
 
Thanks for all your relplies, I should have said the horses belong to a woman I ride out with, so they are all hunters which she uses.
I needn't have worried, the horse I took out this morning was a complete angel and it has made me begin to realise that not every ned I get on is going to tank off.
I was a confident rider before and hopefully it won't take long to return!
Thanks again for all your nice comments
smile.gif
 
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