Confidence crisis :(

[jenz87]

Hi everyone,
Not really sure why im posting this, but maybe a bit of advice may help

Ive been riding on and off all of my life (give and take being a baby ) and went a few years recently without riding, then got a pony when i graduated from university again. We were doing great and we are super bonded, but she is a difficult horse and sometimes a bit too much for me. Sadly, late last year she spooked and threw me off and i ended up in A&E with a broken coccyx which laid me out for a good long time and still going for osteopath treatments to this day.
Trouble is, i have totally lost my confidence. I was never THE most confident rider due to a bad fall smashing my shoulder socket as a teenager, leaving my shoulder likely to dislocate painfully every now and again.
I trust my mare fully on the ground and we are so in tune its unreal but im scared to ride her!! We are fully joined up and we do all sorts of work together on the ground.
Ive ridden a couple of horses since my fall off, but im still nervous, but its more her that is the problem. I love her to bits, and want to get back on.
I rode a horse the other day and i felt like a sack of potatoes, im not saying i was ever the most stylish rider, but i felt like a total beginner and it was so embarrassing and disheartening, it really knocked me back and upset me

My boyfriend has been riding her since i fell off and has gotten her to elementary standard and along with a fine tuned amount of supplements and carefully scheduled routine, of groundwork and schooling she is a different horse, although, she is very spirted and can still suddenly switch.

My aim is to get back on and do a "dressage anywhere" intro B by the end of august to a reasonable standard, but i seem to find almost any excuse not to get on, and when i syke myself up for it, something happens and i dont get chance!!

Any advice would be gratefully received, although i feel this has probably turned into a pitiful winey post, so, sorry and thanks for reading!! !

 

[Echo Bravo]

Think most of us have gone through this at sometime, couldn't you carry on haveing lessons on a school horse for awhile, to help buid up your confidence that way. I think maybe end of August maybe a little too soon for you both.

 

[Trish C]

The first step is the hardest, but once you've taken that hopefully everything else will seem easier

I'm no expert as suffer with confidence issues myself, but my initial thought was maybe do a session of groundwork that you both enjoy and find relatively easy, so you're nice and laid back with each other. Then hop up onto her with someone leading her, walk once or twice around, and then call it a day. Once you've actually sat on her you'll probably remember what it is you love about it all and want to go and do a full schooling session

Best of luck whatever way you decide to approach it

 

[be positive]

Find an instructor who is sympathetic, they need to let you take things slowly but still encourage you to progress.
Your BF has been doing well with her do not try to catch up with him
If your horse is not going to help you long term consider selling and starting with a new one.This is not giving up, just being realistic,she may be a lovely horse but may not be perfect for you.
Take one day at a time and set yourself realistic goals ,just get on and walk round quietly,dont do anymore til you are ready.
Good luck you can do it

 

[Tammytoo]

Don't put pressure on your self by saying you want to do Intro B on her by the end of August. You need to find a good confidence giving instructor and a sensible horse to build up your confidence. It seems that you don't 100% trust your horse when you are on her which won't help either of you. Would your boyfriend continue to ride her whilst you buy/loan a more reliable ride?

Don't be so hard on yourself, you've had two nasty falls and your body is telling your mind to go into defensive mode. I know you love your horse, but if she isn't the right ride for you perhaps you should consider a change. After all, riding is meant to be fun!

 

[legaldancer]

I sympathise, I really do as I am going through the same thing, but have an un-horsey husband & no-one to ride my mare, who hasn't really done anything wrong.

I would say there's no rush, & if your boyfriend can keep her ticking over for you & can offer support, take things slowly until you feel comfortable getting back on her.