confidence going at a drop of hat!

[Emma24]

I can't understand why my confidence is so rocky. I've been jumping happy for the last couple of weeks, been feeling brilliant been jumping bigger then ever, horse going better then ever. Then had my lesson tonight made a mistake into a double, and I then felt like my whole world had just come down. I get so worried i'm going to ruin my horse, and it's going to effect me if I don't learn to get over it.
Why doing have to get so stressed out, I just wanna have faith in myslef cause I know I can do it.
Anyone got any tips on how to stay postive and believe in yourself?

 

[catembi]

I know how you feel - I used to get exactly the same in lessons. You have to try & remember that everyone makes mistakes. The more you get used to working thru them, the less of an issue they become. So next time you make one, see it as an opportunity to practise not being bothered by it, & have another go.

It helped me to think of jumping as a constant work in progress i.e. instead of aiming towards an unachievable state of perfection, I began to acknowledge that the nature of horses/jumping is that there are ups & downs, & it's how I deal with the downs that's important.

So if I made a pig's ear or something, instead of thinking, 'oh no, that's it, I'm rubbish, I'm *never* going to be any good', I'd try to think, 'whoops, never mind, let's have another go'.

Easier said than done, but it *does* get easier the more you do it. Just don't give up, and def don't give yourself a hard time for not being perfect!

 

[jinskymeg]

I know exactly what you mean, I am also prone to sudden inexplicable drops in confidence - try to focus on the hundreds of times you've done it right not the one time it went wrong - you are allowed to make mistakes, you're only human after all! I get upset with myself when I make a pigs ear of something I know I can do, but I have to try not to be such a control freak, let it go and do something else for a bit...I had a sudden blip over hacking out, was convinced my horse would bolt (!!), but with the help of some great friends I forced myself to go for short hacks and gradually built back up - now I don't even think of it.
I would say if something makes you nervous, try not to leave it too long before you tackle it or it can build up and become more and more of an issue. Sorry, I have rambled, just wanted to really say that I totally understand! Good luck x

 

[alwaysbroke]

May sound strange, but after an improvement in your riding, and riding at that level for a period of time, you can then up the anti and move your goal posts without realising, you can suddenly feel like you cant ride and everything starts to feel to pieces including your confidence! as quickly as it happens it can go away and you realise your riding skills have moved on to the next level. Not sure if this makes sense when on paper but this has happened to me several times and to friends of mine.
Hope this helps onwards and upwards!

 

[Daisychain]

I think everyone has confidence issues, i remember reading Pippa Funnels book, and she has had major ones and had to have help to get over them, and look at the level she rides at! I would say probably over 90% of people on this forum have issues just as yourself, myself included, chin up we just have to keep going lol!