Confidence issues - advice please

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Dustyboy

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I got my pony just over two months ago. I got him as a novice rider and to have lessons on. My mum also rides him - I have lost my confidence and wanted to know how I can get my confidence up and get out of thinking he will takeoff when he never would. Has anyone tried hypnotic tracks? Advice please!!
 
First of all, what has caused your confidence issues? If you can identify them then you can deal with them easier.
Secondly, are you somewhere you can hack out with another safe, sensible horse and a confident rider? Or can someone (like your mum) walk out with you on the ground as this could help your confidence too.

As you've only had your pony 2 months, you'll still be early in the 'getting to know eachother' stage so make sure you do a lot of bonding with him to gain his trust in you and yours in him, this will be a great help :)
 
I lost my confidence in a hacking out incident so I am only riding in the school - it seems like whenever I get somewhere I have a set back but I know it's just these stages. But thank you for you advice
 
Ah right okay, that makes perfect sense then! The best way to do it is confront your fear, just taking it slowly, say riding 500m out of the yard and back for a day or 2 and build it up.
I hope this helps :D
 
I suggest that you take your pony out in hand around a short route and then get on and ride round exactly the same route, as you will know tht there is nothing there that he will object to. Plan to stay in walk. Then you could lead part way round your route and get on for part of the way back. Build up gradually, don't push yourself too far out of your comfort zone but to try to ride a a little every day. You might find that if you have had a good session in the school you are inspired to go on a short hack at the end of your session. Asking someone to walk with you is a good idea, they can always drop back if you feel more confident.
You will get there!
 
Cathy Cirett did a confidence coaching series in horsemanship magazine, she also does horse less and horsey clinics.

Or if doing it yourself go to something you are confident doing then work your way forward from that, even if its confident leading him around the field. May be your sub-conscious just trying to keep you safe. I have the Paul McKenna confidence thing, can't remember if useful. I go to bed sometimes listening to positivity or confidence building stuff on you tube so listen to it as drift off to sleep if got something big happening at work.

Sometimes talking it over with a sensible and understanding friend or putting it down on paper your feelings and showing them to someone.

You may think irrational when you not in the moment or you may weigh up the odds and feel that 'my horse could bolt down the road' that is a rational and real feeling! In which case, get off and stay off until you both feel right to do something different.

Good luck, not easy,
Hannah
 
We all have confidence issues at some point, and what you need to do is go back to basics. ~Start off by asking someone to walk out on foot with you for a short hack and see how you get on, if all goes well next time go a little further, but this has to be at your pace and not before you are ready to do so. Then if you know someone with a very well behaved horse ask them to ride out with you, at first a short distance and see how you get on and then a bit further, every thing is small chunks. Carry on having your lessons and perhaps speak to your instructor and let them know how you feel about hacking out and I am sure that they will be happy to help you. I feel sure that you will beat this. Good luck and let us know how it goes.
 
I lost confidence with my lad but am recovering it now. The key for me has not been thinking about what 'could' go wrong but thinking about what is actually happening right this minute. As my lad is really quite a good boy, the answer is usually nothing. When he is being silly, I breathe really deeply and take charge. I should say we are going from strength to strength because I said no, and he seems much more comfortable with that. But he is quite a good little chap and isn't doing anything that anyone would normally worry about!
 
How about getting on a bomb proof pony/horse and have someone else ride yours for you?
Both hack out together so you can watch him from a different angle and see how he moves, what triggers him etc .....

Nothing wrong with schooling but you will need to go back out mate. WE ALL have times like this but its how we deal with it which makes the difference and makes us stronger :)

So what are your thoughts? Next move? :)
 
Hi. Been struggling with my confidence lately too after a bit of a tumble. I think it's important to try and face your fears but do it in little steps. So having someone lead you out just a little bit down the road and then building up to going a little further and then maybe with a friend on a quiet sensible horse. Try not to focus on what could go wrong as hard as it is. Also lessons with a good instructor will help you both build confidence together. Good Luck. x
 
Dont be ashamed of losing your confidence,just try to get it back.I have ridden all my life, Hunted raced showjumped and evented. But as a result of a recent accident ,I have lost my confidence. OK it was a bloody bad accident,but I am now in a place i thought I could never be.Things scare me that I would never have thought twice about before. There is no logic to it,it is just fear. Dont let any one push you ,take your time. You are not a coward, anyone who voluntarily sits on half a ton of horse could never be that!It will come back I am sure. Just keep working within your comfort zone and trying to expand it a little. Good luck from a friend who understands.
 
Thank you everyone! I am really not ready to hack out at this time but schooling is a defo! My horse is 110% trustworthy and isn't the sort that would take off. I have Kirsty Farren teaching me she is the most amazing teacher ever! I won't be giving up!!
 
I've had confidence issues in the past when my gangly three year old grew into an enormous strapping warmblood and learned how to dump me at every turn haha! I just took it one step at a time. Kept to walk for a few days, staying in the school, then progressing bit by to hacking out and getting him out and about. I literally just had to shut my brain off. I stopped thinking about everything that might happen and just got in with it. I found that once I had the horse tacked up I thought to myself I might as well sit on him. Then once I was sitting up there I thought I might as well walk around, then might as well have a little trot etc. I stopped hesitating and practised breathing while on the ground to use while in the saddle. For example, I was finding I was sitting very tense which was setting him off so I practiced breathing out and consciously relaxing each tense muscle in my body. I instantly felt more at ease and my horse instantly went better too.

You need to attack the problem with a different mindset, don't imagine what could happen just deal with what actually is happening. Our horses live in the moment, they don't worry over things that might happen tomorrow and I think we could learn a lot from them in regards to this.
 
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