Confidence issues - advice please

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Tayto

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Hey guys, looking for some advice (apologies in advance for the loooong post).

I have had my horse for nearly 6 months. She is my first horse and I would class myself as a novice rider.

In the first few months we did lots of hacking, alone and in company. She took lead file or was happy to go behind and she really didnt put a hoof wrong, my confidence was the best its ever been and I was really enjoying things. After a few months of getting to know eachother I started doing some more schooling and after a bad schooling session about a month ago, I decided to finish on a good note we would go for a hack however the hack ended up with her spooking, spinning and taking off with me and cantering up the wrong side of a road. Obviously I was quite shaken by this as it was the first time she had done anything like this and normally is as bombproof as they come.

The night after we had this scare, her herd was moved into a different field that was quite a bit away from the yard and had REALLY long grass in it. Despite my efforts, she put on some extra weight quite quickly.

Her behaviour following the field move and our scare changed. She started spooking while being led which was very unlike her, she seemed more grumpy and she was being silly on hacks - shying at nothing, spooking, being on her toes or being the complete opposite and refusing to move.

Now we have moved yards and she is on MUCH better grazing and we have much better facilities. We have been there for 3 weeks now and we have been doing lots of schooling and lunging which has been going great. However in this time we have only hacked twice, both times with someone on foot. Although she didnt do anything wrong, I am a nervous wreck which makes her tense. I dont know what to do to overcome this - it seems so silly as what happened wont seem like a big deal to some people but it gave me a real scare.

The other problem is that our new yard is 5 mins down the road from the old yard meaning I have to hack past the old yard and field she was in to get to any decent hacking. I havent been brave enough to hack past the old yard yet as I am scared she will nap and we could end up with an incident similar to the one above as she was very attached to one of the mares there.

Over the last few months I have found that as I have increased her workload a bit more she is putting up a bit of a fight which in a schooling situation I can handle but when on a main road I am not so confident.

I have a riding instructor that gives me a weekly lesson on her and I have had her checked over by the vet who said she was in fab condition.

Sorry, I am totally rambling, just wanted to give you all the background so you can hopefully give me some helpful advice and stop me being such a idiot!
 
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you are not an idiot Tayto. I remember your post about the last incident. Your fears are quite natural, and you need to try to break things down into tiny non-scary steps to build back your confidence. Also, sorry if this is repeating old ground, but have you had her saddle & back checked recently? i get my saddle checked every 3 months and it often needs adjusting, also if the saddle has been a bit funny the back can be put out. I would also suspect the rich grass as you do, and restricting the amount of sugar she gets could improve her behaviour - other people on here are good at advice on that.
as for riding, can you get someone else to ride her who has bags of confidence and will give it to her, then you can do little bits that you are happy with. You can take someone on foot when hacking and just have them go a bit further away gradually, walk away from them progressively etc. I also go in for lots of protective clothing so BP, handle to hang on to (I have an R-S-Tor) AND a sticky seat saver! Finally I find the more instruction i get the more confidence i have so may be you can find a week when you have some time and get a lesson every day which will build up your confidence more than the same number a week apart. Recently my RI got me to take my spooky horse round a set of working equitation obstacles and both of us got huge confidence from that. Good luck - hope you both settle back into a lovely partnership. x
 
Hmm, sounds like she's found her feet, has got fitter and she's testing things a little bit to be honest.

You could try a magnesium supplement as many horses who suffer from spooking/anxiety are low in magnesium. Also, I would suggets hacking out with someone experienced to give you and her confidence. The 'sane' horse is obviously there somewhere, you just need to get her to remember! :)
 
How much regular work is she doing?

Star was spooking a lot etc once he had got fitter and found his feet but he has calmed down a lot since he's been doing more jumping and other more tiring work
 
Both of mine can become complete and utter t**ts when the grass is good. They just can't help themselves! The tb is on Magnitude magnesium supplement which is like a wonder drug! He can now be left in the stable while I take the other one out without trying to take the door down.
 
kittyb said:
How much regular work is she doing?

Star was spooking a lot etc once he had got fitter and found his feet but he has calmed down a lot since he's been doing more jumping and other more tiring work
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Before we moved we were hacking every day for an hour and for a couple of hours at weekend, as I was getting to know her we kept it quite gentle with some trot and a little canter if I felt brave. I started introducing more trot to hacks and more recently I started doing trotting hacks where we would do a small route all in trot. I was planning to build it up before we had our scare.

I actually found that when I introduced more work she started having tantrums as if to say "I cant be arsed!". My instructor says just to bear with it and once she realises that I mean business she will settle down.

I put her on oestress as when in season she is even worse so will give this a trial and if it doesnt work I might try a magnesium supplement instead.

ATM, I am either lunging her or schooling her 5 days a week and I know she should be doing much more as she is young and fit enough for it, I just need to find my confidence and get my butt in gear!

I had her saddle checked when I first got her but her shape has changed since then so I need to get booked in for another check.
 
I have been where you are but won't bore you with the story.

I definately suggest getting a confident rider to ride her on the routes your worried about etc. once you see she is behaving and doing it regularly then have a go yourself with someone on foot. There is no shame in having somebody walk out with you and it really does help and improve your confidence over time. My hubby always comes out with me now and I never worry anymore.

Hope that helps and good luck!
 
Sounds like you've done really well with her, and so far have managed very nicely, have you asked your instructor if instead of a lesson in the school she'll hack out with you? Either with her as a foot soldier or her on a horse.

Her change may well have been due to having found her feet, too much grass or a her coming into season, but in reality all horses have to get used to us asking them to work for a little bit of the day, if you feel she's a little 'on her toes' then keep the ridden bit short and maybe think about doing some in hand work with her.

If it's a case of you having to do things on your own then have a plan of action, then you'll have a purpose and when the going gets tough do everything you can to relax, sing, chatter or giggle.
 
Definitely get the saddle re-checked. If she's changed shape and got fitter, it could well be the saddle is pinching a little bit and could be causing some of the behavioural issues.
 
Tayto said:
I actually found that when I introduced more work she started having tantrums as if to say "I cant be arsed!". ...........

I had her saddle checked when I first got her but her shape has changed since then so I need to get booked in for another check.
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I would get your saddle checked asap. If she has changed shape as she has got fitter (as most horses do) she may well be uncomfortable in her saddle, rather than being awkward.
In the meantime, and to build your confidence in each other, how about long-reining her on some of your hacking routes?
 
Thanks guys. Although having someone more confident ride her is a great idea, I dont really know anyone that could do so. I am at a new yard so dont really know anyone well enough yet. I wouldnt let anyone from my previous yard on her either as I did once, thinking that they were a good rider and they proceeded to yank at her mouth trying to get her to go on the bit - she was quickly told to get off!

I will book an appointment with the saddler and get her saddle checked out. I have thought about long reining, I will have to google it to see how its done.

My partner is home for 3 weeks before he goes away with work again so I will make use of him and get him walking out with us. The other night when we were out I got him to stand to the side and got Tash to walk past him and trot on a bit. She did so but was a but reluctant. Once her saddle has been checked I will continue little hacks like this with my partner.
 
Hi Tayto, wanted to reply because i was in a very very similar position - new horse got more spooky the fitter he got and we also had a tanking away incident on a hack. If it is any comfort it shattered my confidence and it has taken me months to restore it - however it is back so there is hope! He was on box rest over the winter and i wanted to keep him moving so I led him out in hand on all our local hacking routes. This had done wonders for his confidence and my confidence in him - plus we both got fit! I would highly recommend it. We are back to happily plodding the lanes on the buckle now. In the school i would echo the advice of little and often. My boy is much worse in the school than on a hack and so i count it as a huge step forward that we managed a calm trot round last night! I just do what i feel i can and don't push myself too far out of my comfort zone. Good luck.
 
Emilieu said:
Hi Tayto, wanted to reply because i was in a very very similar position - new horse got more spooky the fitter he got and we also had a tanking away incident on a hack. If it is any comfort it shattered my confidence and it has taken me months to restore it - however it is back so there is hope! He was on box rest over the winter and i wanted to keep him moving so I led him out in hand on all our local hacking routes. This had done wonders for his confidence and my confidence in him - plus we both got fit! I would highly recommend it. We are back to happily plodding the lanes on the buckle now. In the school i would echo the advice of little and often. My boy is much worse in the school than on a hack and so i count it as a huge step forward that we managed a calm trot round last night! I just do what i feel i can and don't push myself too far out of my comfort zone. Good luck.
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Thanks Emilieu this makes me feel a bit better. She definately takes a lot of confidence from me on the ground. A few weeks ago, I hacked her on my own and we came upon a dead deer which she totally freaked out at. She was offering to take off so I quickly hopped off and led her past it. I placed myself between her and the deer and she automatically relaxed and walked past. I hopped back on as soon as we were past and we managed to continue our hack.

I am thinking about long reining - I have heard a lot of good things about it and I think it would be better for building her confidence if I am behind her as opposed to leading her where she just follows and doesnt really have to think about much.

Thanks for your positive story :)
 
Hi Tayto. I really feel for you its horrible when you have a loss of confidence, specially on a fairly new horse. I am still a fairly confident rider but an incident in the past when an I had an accident out hacking and my then horse died at the scene still comes back to haunt me sometimes - and at the time it took being very strong minded to see me through it and regain my nerve. What I will say is that you can do it! My current horse who I've had for years now has been a real handful at times, but has taught me the ability to get to the other side of nerves! I know this sounds a bit basic and also can be very difficult at the time, but you have to RELAX. It really is the key to controlling the situation. Practice breathing deeply when you feel stressed, and also I have found that singing a song out loud (yes i know!!), when approaching or being in the middle of a situation works wonders. Focus on the words and this also distracts your horse from its own issues and constantly think forward forward forward!!!. If she spins get hold of her asap and ask her forward again - remember to distract her away from her fear as you try to pass. Also arms really wide out to the side creating a barrier a barrier for the horse can help. If forwards isn't an option then backwards can be - getting past the sticky object or site is the priority it doesnt matter how you do it! Sick like a sack of pototoes being heavy in the saddle, again it helps you stay relaxed and less likely to become unseated. Try to ride out with someone else at first, sending your horse ahead at all times (although this will not completely fix your problem as your horse will look to nesh back to the other one if worried and you really have to be able to control this behaviour alone) - it will give you more confidence. The same applies to getting someone to walk out with you - you must stay ahead or you can end up creating more problems as you horse will get used to following.
Something I strongly advise against is getting off and leading your horse, for a couple of reasons. The first being the complete lack of control that you will then have if your horse continues the behaviour. A friend of mine had a napper who she began to dismount when faced with a problem, and one day lost control and her horse ended up galloping back down a very busy main road, tack flying, luckily and amazingly the horse made it back to the yard unscathed. It can be very dangerous to surrender mounted control of your horse out hacking. The second is that your horse will come to expect this behaviour every time it doesn't want to do something - again a situation you really want to avoid. So my advice is stay mounted - you have the best chance of being in control, facing the problem and getting over it this way. After all we buy a horse to ride not to faff about leading it all over the place don't we??!
You WILL get over this problem - its good that you are having your horse checked over but I seriously suspect that she is finding her feet, testing you and taking the P**S!! If she was perfectly safe in the first place she can be again. Sometimes horse ownership can be a bit of a battle of wills at times - but remember - you are the rider and you know best!! Good luck, you can do it. xx
 
Tayto said:
I hacked her on my own and we came upon a dead deer which she totally freaked out at. She was offering to take off so I quickly hopped off and led her past it. I placed myself between her and the deer and she automatically relaxed and walked past. I hopped back on as soon as we were past and we managed to continue our hack.

I am thinking about long reining - I have heard a lot of good things about it and I think it would be better for building her confidence if I am behind her as opposed to leading her where she just follows and doesnt really have to think about much.

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That is exactly how i would deal with that issue out hacking. I think it is a matter of opinion and subject to circumstances - I know i have more control on the ground and he is more confident. It has always helped us and he will ride past the next time i ask him to.
Long reining has been fab for my boy in the school but i'm not quick enough with the reins to attempt it on the road - if he span on carried on I can imagine us ending up in a terrible tangle!
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Emilieu - it certainly is a matter of opinion as is everything with horses! Whilst I do understand why you and others feel dismounting can help in certain situations (and I am not questioning that it probably has helped you at the time), my point remains that you really do not have more control on the ground with the reins as your only means of controlling a spooked / misbehaving horse. I'm pretty sure anyone who has a - felt the full strength of a panicking horse on the end of lead rein, or b - seen a loose horse disappearing down a road at full tilt with reins tangling around its legs will probably agree here. This isn't a criticism, horses can scare us sometimes and I really do understand this, which of course is why people feel that dismounting is the best option at the time, but what I am saying is that the repercussions of this action can be unforseeable and potentially dangerous, particularly when you are on a road. I think long reining is a different matter as you have far more control (as long as you know what you are doing!), and are still being consistent in your approach of getting from a to b, rather than an up top, on floor, up top, on floor approach.
 
Loads of good advice as ever. If you wanted someone experienced to hack out for you why not ask your instructor if he/she will, or knows of a good freelance rider/groom who might. Good luck and let us know how you get on.
 
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