Confidence issues

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Swiftlet

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This is my first post to the forum, so I'll start by saying hello everyone :) - and I'm not entirely sure if this is the right place to post this..?

I have been riding since I was a small girl, and recently I've had this new instructor after my old instructor retired. My new instructor has been putting me on this arab, I have ridden her many times before, but in the last 5 lessons it has been hell. We were trying to do some canter work, and she just refused to go into canter. I didn't want to keep nagging at her as I knew she would start bucking me with, and my instructor kept on shouting at me to get her into canter, and then I kept on shouting back saying she wouldn't go, and then it would result into the horse bucking and me falling off. It's happened 5 times now, and the last time it happened I was bucked into a fence and badly bruised my rib. I don't know who's fault it is, if it's mine, or the instructor? I don't think it's the horse's fault, she either didn't like me or just didn't want to canter I guess. The thing is, it has badly knocked my confidence, to the point where it scares me to think I can ever go back to my riding school. I love it there, the people and horses are wonderful. I know I don't want to quit, but I know I'm quite terrified of going back. I just want to know if anyone else has been in a similar situation, and how they managed to overcome the anxiety of it. It's bringing me down, but I feel as if Idon't have the confidence to go back to what I love doing.

- Emma.
 
Hello and welcome :)

To be honest, I think you need to find a different instructor. A good one should be able to adjust their teaching style to suit the pupil (i.e. not shout at you if it's 1) not working and 2) stressing you/the mare out)

I used to be taught by an absolute dragon who would shout & tell me I was unfit and useless and didn't deserve to ride my horse. I hated it and I ended up hating riding & gave up having lessons. Cut a long story short, my confidence was shot to pieces (not helped by falling off onto a jump & getting severely concussed!!).

Since moving to a new yard & getting in a freelance instructor who I absolutely adore, my confidence has skyrocketed and we have actually started jumping competitively again.

The interesting thing is, my instructor can tell that I need the encouragement/praise/an overall more gentle approach but when she teaches my friend after me, I can hear her yelling at her and being really strict but that's what works for her.

SO... basically, I think you need to get a new instructor. Not sure how possible that will be for you but you cannot risk losing your confidence. Once it's gone, it's really hard to get it back.

Let us know how you get on!
 
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Sorry to hear this -

Instructor sounds pants. Is there anyone else you can use? IMO she should have stopped you, explained clearly what you needed to do in order to achieve a canter and then sent you back out to try. If it still didn't work, she should have got on and demonstrated what to do. Shouting and balling from the sidelines with no constructive advice is not a good instructor and at the end of the day you are paying good money to be taught. I don't think the problem is the horse and I'm sure with a different instructor who can instill confidence you would be fine x
 
don't let it get you down, we all have confidence issues now and again and nobody enjoys being bucked off. Ask to ride a different horse for a couple of lessons to enjoy your riding again. I don't think your instructor shouting at you is going to help at all. You pay her to teach you to ride but sometimes partnerships between horse and rider are never going to work, try another horse.
 
Hi!

Is there any way you could ask to ride an different horse until you get your confidence back? It might help, and it's great to ride different horses to get your confidence. As for whose fault it is, it's hard to say without seeing you ride/be taught, but keep at it, it's not worth riding that particular horse if your not enjoying it, it is supposed to be fun, after all!! :D
 
Hello :)

I dont think you are to blame at all, simply shouting at pupils is no good, she could have asked you to come back to trot establish your trot and once trotting steadily around then speak to you and explain a more effective way to ask the horse to canter, sometimes just tipping forward a bit when u ask can unbalance the horse or it wont understand, or giving too much with the reins, if she could be constructive and give you things to think about during the transition to make it a more effective one rather than just yelling make her canter!

I had an experience with a very well qualified instructor about 4 years ago and i have to say she wasnt very good, my horse at the time (who i still have but hes retired) never went on the right leg and her answer was keep asking and keep asking and then when he does go on the right leg shorten the reins up and pull his head in and keep him cantering with your legs (not ask him to soften, just pull his head in) needless to say i did not stick with her for long at all and she was supposedly a reputable instructor who a few people reccomended to me.

There is the possibility its the horse however you sound quite a sympathetic rider as some people blame the horse for everything and its good your not and by the sounds of things the instructor doesn't sound great.

sometimes all round instructors are terrible and a more specialised one is better e.g. for showing or for dressage, don't be put off if one day you want to do such a thing but dont think your good enough yet and think of getting the basics with a 'jack of all trades' instructor, you may find if you do move onto a more specialised one that you spend the first 4 months correcting bad habits from it.

Dont let it put you off riding or get you down im sure once whatever the problem is is fixed you'll get your confidence back in no time :)
 
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