Confidence issues

[G33KKITTY]

hi guys im new here

bit of background
rode for 10 years as a kid. came of landing on my back on a trotting pole. lucky for me I had a body protector on nothing more than a few bruises and knock to confidence. Unfortunatly due to different circumstances I was unable to ride for over a month. meaning when I got back on.... It had all gone. I gave up riding for ten years ... biggest mistake ever..

I started riding again at the age of 20.. slow confidence but was on a lovely shire who looked after me and we happily did lessons jumping XC gallops and my confidence came back.

Left university been through a few shares for different reason never worked out. Past year I have been with youngsters who are not backed and worked on groundwork. Confident on the ground with the bolshy youngsters.

I rode about 6 months ago a friends eventer and unfortunately He bolted round the school scaring me and then went towards a fence and darted the other direction. I came off smashed my hat on a fence and my confidence was shot . I have recently started riding a friends ploddy safe Cob how ever I am in bits... I am nervous to canter. I cried at the thought. I have been slowly trotting walking and had a little canter on both reins the other day which I was happy with how ever I couldnt get the confidence to make him carry on through into the corners and carry on the circles. I was so scared he would get me off or dart in the other direction because hes been pushed on. I tried again and got him into the corners.

I rode him bareback last week and refused to get out of walk. how ever last night I did the same and we had a nice little trot.

My balance is horrific I was never good at bareback as a child and now 20 years on lets just say age has given me alot more bouncy bits!!!!..

I have to get my confidence back. I love riding and always have done. Its gotten to me so much over the past few months ive just thought im going to give up. then realised how much i regretted it as a kid.

Can any one give me any pointers? I cant afford lessons as I currently am working a 3 year old and a 5 year old before I ride and I only have use of the school late evenings.

Can any one give me any pointers? I want to work on my balance, my position, and most of all my confidence!!!!!!!

im distraught please help me

 

[dominobrown]

I would advise you to carry on a you are! Dont be so hard on yourself... you are doing the right thing. Just make your self a series of goals and break it dien into small steps. Make a record of each mini goal, keep diary of what you have done each day and how you felt ( people often forget how far they have progressed and then feel like they arent getting anywhere so it is handy to look back).
Each mini goal should be pushing you slightly further towards your big goals. Like one day ride a half circle in canter... next day 3/4 then a full circle etc etc

Also you need to deal with how you think about scary situatuons and why you are nervous. Are you thinking logically? Often your confidence is affected by other things in your life unrelated to horses.

 

[matt_m]

Ah, the confidence battle is a hard one, we all lose (and re-gain!) it, but it can be soul destroying when we lose it big time!

I agree with the above reply. I actually think the moment we stop putting pressure on ourselves and start taking our time, that is the biggest step in becoming confident again. Who cares if you only walk around for a few weeks...months even? Don't worry about what other people think....it is a hobby to be enjoyed!

Could you find somewhere with a horse simulator to work on your balance? This would be really good for you to improve your balance without having the added worry of coming off.

Keep telling yourself that you've been unlucky and had bad experiences but there are many more good ones to be had, it will just take time! The cob you are currently riding sounds lovely - could you find a suitable horsey 'friend' (the owner maybe?) to spend time with you while you ride, give pointers, maybe even lead you around when you feel ready to try some trot work again for the initial sessions...never feel silly. It will all come back in time.

 

[Mike007]

First post , and a serious one!. The thing about confidence is that if we were ever to take an honest reality check about getting on over half a tonne of somewhat deranged equid , then we would all be **** scared. Also from a horses point of view we ask so much of them . Get in this metal box on wheels ,its OK . Jump over this. dont panic about that!So the moral of this is that you are both in it together and you and your horse need to both work on your trust and confidence. It doesnt happen overnight. So dont try to push it. Take it slow ,its not a race. Enjoy your equine friend.