Confidence like a yo yo

Ceriann

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Fell off about a month ago (twice) in a flat work lesson - not a good day. Both times with canter transition, second time she had a paddy, span like a twit and the fall was hard. Ive fallen off her before but its always been a miscomms not a loss of control. So this time i cant seem to get over it. Ive had a prof ride her, all fine, ive lunged her post hacks to get regular canters (all fine), ive schooled myself since and got nice canters but im still nervous the next time i ask. I dont school anywhere near what i used to either (we’ve spent the last 15 months rehabbing so lots of schooling hasnt felt right) so the gap isnt helping. Hacking is fine but we dont canter (mainly due to route options - ground is too hard). Today i got nice canter but then a slightly excited canter (few strides where she shot forward) which i was able to bring back straight away and continue a nice canter but it put me off asking again (even though i had her working beautifully). Part of me thinks dont push it, carry on hacking and schooling lightly and ask for canter when it feels right. The other part of me thinks thats ridiculous and i should push on, maybe up the schooling for a bit and get over it. The irony is i used to be scared of hacking but schooling was my favourite thing (i bought her for canter) - now its the other way!
 

Mahoganybay

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Are you me?

I’ve got a Warmblood mare who I’ve had some physical and ridden issues over the two years of owning her. The physical issues have caused her to be reactive and I’ve come off a few times. The ridden issues make me feel like I can’t ride her and I’m just not capable.

It’s been so stop/start over the last two years and just when I feel like I’m getting more steps forward we have a massive swoosh back and my confidence is shot. My trainer rides her beautifully.

I had a lesson today, warming her up before my trainer arrived and she felt awful and I just felt like giving up. Within 5 mins of my lesson and we were floating.

Such a rollercoaster.

I used to love hacking, felt that I could take all my previous horses anywhere and I often used to go out on my own for hours/miles. Hated school work as that was were I felt most unconfident.

Now, I’m the other way round, and I think it’s because I feel safer in the school. ?‍♀️
 

Ceriann

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Sympathies Mahoganybay. My previous mare was tricky but this one is really quite easy - I’ve had her over 3 years and she’s done wonders for my confidence, taking me from being scared of most things to competing at novice ( I’d never done a test before). This is a combination of the rehab break, losing my old instructor and trying to build the same relationship with someone new, and this blip. It’s this fear I will lose control and I know it’s me not her.
 

Red-1

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You say she has been rehabbing, are you sure she is in no residual pain? I think they feel different when holding themselves against that, and it feels uncomfortable in a hair raising way.
 

vmac66

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My mare bucked me off in canter in the school just before lockdown. Totally out of charecter for her so was a big surprise. Its taken me 3 months to canter her again. Monday evening I was schooling and it just felt right so cantered a few strides on both reins. I need to keep doing it now. Wait till you're ready, it will happen.
 

Ceriann

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You say she has been rehabbing, are you sure she is in no residual pain? I think they feel different when holding themselves against that, and it feels uncomfortable in a hair raising way.
Pretty sure - she’s been rehabbed incredibly slowly and all has gone well. She feels fine to work and canter is good. I’ve watched her ridden (by the pro) and she lunges nice and evenly. When she was injured (medial branch left suspensory) she looked/felt odd on left rein especially in canter. Instructor thinks she looks good too (and pro thought she schooled nicely). I am aware she’s more sensitive during spring/summer with seasons (spookier, more sensitive to noise) so she’s on oestress which seems to help). If something else happens I will get vet out.
 

Ceriann

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My mare bucked me off in canter in the school just before lockdown. Totally out of charecter for her so was a big surprise. Its taken me 3 months to canter her again. Monday evening I was schooling and it just felt right so cantered a few strides on both reins. I need to keep doing it now. Wait till you're ready, it will happen.
I think I might - I noticed last night that the 15 mins warm up was me working up to canter so I just didn’t enjoy it. Big sigh of relief when canter ok then oh poop when the second had a few silly strides. The schooling after was really good and focussed as I’d decided not to try again. Thanks and glad your canter went well.
 

Widgeon

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I just wanted to say, as a fellow worrier - this is the bit that jumped out at me.

Today i got nice canter but then a slightly excited canter (few strides where she shot forward) which i was able to bring back straight away and continue a nice canter...

So, you asked for what you wanted, she did it, she got a bit excited but didn't do anything nasty or dangerous. You asked her to steady up and she listened to you, and she didn't remain over excited. I'd say that was a big success.

I hope that doesn't sound patronizing, but I know it's the only way I can manage my own thought patterns - and let's be honest horses are horses, they're not machines - the odd bit of excitement or spooking etc is inevitable. It's how you both cope with it that's the important thing. Yesterday I hacked out by myself for the first time on a new horse (I had to get on and do it before I started over thinking it) and we rode past a man who started throwing gravel into a cement mixer. All the legs went in different directions and we lurched past with matching elevated heart rates! But we got past, neither of us panicked, horse listed to me throughout and we were safe. So I took that as a win.
 

Ceriann

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Thanks Widgeon - not patronising at all, I completely agree it was a success and totally different to my fall. It was even an issue and pre fall wouldn’t even have merited a thought other than to get her more balanced before asking. It just fed this fear I now have and I just couldn’t ask again even though I got her lovely and relaxed. She’s such a lovely mare and was so good to me when I was scared of everything, we just need to work through the blip!
 

Mildlander

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You could be me!
I have been up and down with asking for canter through loss of confidence. At the moment I'm happy to canter in the school but rarely on a hack. But last year didn't want to canter at all. So I go for when it feels right I ask, do a few strides then stop. That way I've built up in the school and now can't remember why I was so worried but I was. I'm going for the same out hacking, if it doesn't feel right for me I don't ask, if it does I might or might not!!
Take the pressure, if it's right for you fine, if not also fine.
Confidence is a fragile thing (or it is for me) be kind to yourself
I'm now working on rebuilding my confidence for jumping - I'm never going to jump more than 80 (maybe) but was doing fine last year til an unscheduled dismount last April, well in the last 2 weeks have started cross poles again and on monday managed a massive 30cm upright. Having said that only out of trot, definitely not ready to canter into a jump yet though we did canter away!
One other thing that has helped me is having a schooling session with no intention of cantering, it somehow takes the pressure off so it's not sitting at the back of my mind worrying about when I'm going to ask for canter and then sometimes I've found I wanted to canter and have but not necessarily.
 

Ceriann

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You could be me!
I have been up and down with asking for canter through loss of confidence. At the moment I'm happy to canter in the school but rarely on a hack. But last year didn't want to canter at all. So I go for when it feels right I ask, do a few strides then stop. That way I've built up in the school and now can't remember why I was so worried but I was. I'm going for the same out hacking, if it doesn't feel right for me I don't ask, if it does I might or might not!!
Take the pressure, if it's right for you fine, if not also fine.
Confidence is a fragile thing (or it is for me) be kind to yourself
I'm now working on rebuilding my confidence for jumping - I'm never going to jump more than 80 (maybe) but was doing fine last year til an unscheduled dismount last April, well in the last 2 weeks have started cross poles again and on monday managed a massive 30cm upright. Having said that only out of trot, definitely not ready to canter into a jump yet though we did canter away!
One other thing that has helped me is having a schooling session with no intention of cantering, it somehow takes the pressure off so it's not sitting at the back of my mind worrying about when I'm going to ask for canter and then sometimes I've found I wanted to canter and have but not necessarily.
Thanks - confidence is very fragile, especially as you get older. I just need to work through it like you. Part of me is incredibly disappointed in me for not being able to look at all this logically - well I can dismounted but stick me in the school and I can’t! The mind is a terrible thing! Well done on working on your fears - it seems so much easier than it is.
 

Mildlander

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I think you are doing great, just be nice to yourself and don't even think about cantering for a while. Enjoy doing other things maybe poles or different exercises and you'll get back to it when you're ready.
For me the more I think I "should" be doing something the worse I get. There's no rule to say you have to do anything, it is supposed to be fun and if asking for canter isn't fun at the moment don't do it.
I can sometimes use reverse psychology on myself if I tell myself I'm not allowed to do something then I want to, if it's ok once don't do it again that session. Stop on a good note, it's what we're told to do with our horses but don't always apply the same to ourselves.
As you say it always seems it should be easier than it is.
You've already done so much with your mare, it will be fine. To quote/misquote Exotic Marigold Hotel - "it'll be alright in the end, if it's not alright it's not the end" :)
 

Keira 8888

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I just wanted to say, as a fellow worrier - this is the bit that jumped out at me.



So, you asked for what you wanted, she did it, she got a bit excited but didn't do anything nasty or dangerous. You asked her to steady up and she listened to you, and she didn't remain over excited. I'd say that was a big success.

I hope that doesn't sound patronizing, but I know it's the only way I can manage my own thought patterns - and let's be honest horses are horses, they're not machines - the odd bit of excitement or spooking etc is inevitable. It's how you both cope with it that's the important thing. Yesterday I hacked out by myself for the first time on a new horse (I had to get on and do it before I started over thinking it) and we rode past a man who started throwing gravel into a cement mixer. All the legs went in different directions and we lurched past with matching elevated heart rates! But we got past, neither of us panicked, horse listed to me throughout and we were safe. So I took that as a win.

wise words here ??
 
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