confidence really low

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lucy_jw

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well there was me thinking my confidence in the saddle was just the problem, seems not! Went to help my friend today with her pony, was so looking forward to it. She told me he is bombproof, never kicks, bites etc her kids can lead him in from the field even. So i managed to catch him pretty easy, put headcollar on. She did something odd which i wanted to say its probably not good but he is her pony! She tied him and gave him a big bowl of feed,then said to me to groom him. Well he was very fidgety, didnt like me picking his feet and just seemed to want to go all the time. When i untied him to lead him back he was like a coiled spring and tried to drag me! I managed to stop him but its really scared me. If this small pony can dominate me how the hell am i going to cope in a riding lesson next week! My friend said she has only ever seen him drag someone once when they first got him and they were trying to load him. Does anyone else agree that giving the pony the feed could have been the problem or am i just a nervous wreck
 
Small ponies can be a bit like that, they are often quite pushy. I wouldn't let it worry you. And anyway, he didn't win because you managed to groom him and pick out his feet even though he was trying it on, and you stopped him when he dragged you. Don't dwell on what the pony did, think about what you did to resolve it, thats the most important thing. Ponies were sent to try us I'm sure!

I've got a shetland that is good as gold with the kids, but always seems to make me look like a right idiot whenever someone is around, he does it on purpose I know!

Try to relax a bit, if you go to your riding lesson all wound up then you are not going to enjoy it. Do you know the horse you are going to ride in your lesson?
 
i wouldn't personally give a feed while grooming, as i think most horses prefer to be left alone. having said that regardless of the feed he shouldn't have dragged you, so there must be an issue with your confidence in handling if he barged. Theres no way my horse would be allowed do that - food or no food.

From your post it seems like you go hard on your faults. You had no problem doing 90% of the stuff, but then you go hard on yourself for the last bit. confidence is just ACTINg like you can do it until some day you find out that you can. the dressagementor.com website has some good audios for building confidence with horses, she has good tips.
 
paddi22 said:
From your post it seems like you go hard on your faults. You had no problem doing 90% of the stuff, but then you go hard on yourself for the last bit. confidence is just ACTINg like you can do it until some day you find out that you can. the dressagementor.com website has some good audios for building confidence with horses, she has good tips.
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Ditto the above! In the end, he did what you wanted and you'll be ready for him next time. It doesn't sound like your friend helped your confidence and they do pick up on nerves. These cute likkle wikkle ponies are little b******s in disguise!
 
you would think i had never been around horses from this post but i started riding aged 3, owned my own for 10years, but have taken a break for a number of years due to various reasons. I am having lessons again because i took such a long break and would hope to own again in a couple of years. you are right i did stop him, i did groom him and i even re-rugged him myself. It makes me cross with myself because i was once so confident and would have ridden any nutcase going. Perhaps age makes us more aware of the bits that can go wrong.
 
Yes I think as you get older you see more danger in things, I would go and enjoy your lesson and yes ponies are far more difficult as other posts have said. Maybe find a horse that is really good to groom etc and get your confidence back good luck, I know its difficult.:)
 
If it makes you feel any better I bought my cob x this summer who's 14.2. I'd lost my confidence (in the saddle that is) with my 16.1 TB ex racer, so thought this would be great in getting my confidence back, something small and good calm temperament.

First time I lead her into the stable and let her go and was leaving to go through the door and she nudged me hard from behind and tried to come through the door after me. I managed to push her back, but burst into tears afterwards because I'd geared myself up so much into thinking this was going to be the answer to all my prayers! I took it as confirmation of my inability with horses altogether. So silly looking back on it, after all she was new to me, me to her and in a strange place. She's also tried and drag me off to the field in those first couple of days and I had to treat her totally differently to my TB (who's a gent to handle) and growl at her and make her realise I'm boss. She very quickly stopped any silliness and showed me respect and now I don't think anything of handling/leading/loading and generally dealing with her on my own or hacking her on my own.

I definitely would agree with those that have said a lot of horses want to be left alone while eating. My TB isn't too fussed, but I don't think my cob would like it very much. You need to get to know a pony/horse and then all these things should become a lot easier as you'll know what you can and cannot do.

Don't worry, most of us have been there and felt like fools and worried we'd never get our confidence, but I promise you it will happen, take your time and set yourself up for success. Wish you the best of luck :)
 
thank you all so much. Have since found out he actually does that to everybody apart from my friend and her children, so actually he is a very naughty boy that needs to be taught properly. I would never allow my horse to behave that way, some friend eh!
 
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