confused dilemma please help!! LONG!!!

gonebananas

gonebananas

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So I keep my horses on a private yard which we rent fully, and in summer we rent extra fields which works out all year at around £32pw. Right now I have finished college but will be going to uni in september, depending where I get into I won't be leaving home as I can commute to and from uni easily and cheaper than moving. But here comes the dilemma(along with some family/financial issues) we have 4 horses in total, 1 would be my grandpas (a happy hacker)and the rest are mine, I have my 14hh pony Jet who I hack and do occasional show jumping but I admit I have outgrown her in terms of ability BUT she can be left in a field for ages and be just as good to ride as when I left her!!! Then I have my larger horse Meg at 15.1hh who is more of a challenge for me ability wise but I am capable, she is the one who keeps me interested and ticking. I hope to hunt and do some other things with her once we get transport(another issue part of the dilemma) my RI thinks she could do well in WH classes and could go quite far. She needs regular work to keep her tip top. She would be more difficult to sell with her quirkiness and head issues due to been beaten in the past. And finally there's my 2year old PBA Amira who I am going to break in and ride myself, she's not going anywhere. All mine are good doers and can live out with a decent rug and feed.

So right now as we all know we're in a recession and money is tight especially for my mother(who has nothing to do with horses but part of the situation) she agreed to buy me a car for my birthday in April but hasn't yet due to me not passing :( but now I'm due for my test again we are looking for a car and she can buy it by going halfs with me but not afford to insure it, so I have to dip into my savings for that,(which I was saving up for a trailer as my grandpa keeps saying for the last 6 years we're going to get one but it hasn't happened yet:mad:) My grandpa pays for the horses upkeep etc but is quite well off but tight with his money type of thing(old school man!plus recession isn't bringing him any work in either, basically he just ummms and arrrrs and moans but yet manages to go on holiday with the wife every 6 weeks!!:rolleyes:) I do help with farrier bills (taken shoes off Jet to save costs, shes sturdy footed) and dentist bills and pay £10 a week for the rent(I do not have a job and I cannot find one!:() so I pay this with my savings. In winter the horses live out, my grandpa does the morning shift and gives them hay and checks the water etc as I live inbetween college and the stables and it would take too long to do both, plus he lives 100 yards down the road!! Evenings we split depending what time I finished etc I also used to have a few mornings off college too where I would feed and ride and then get G to put more hay out later.

So many of you now might be thinking hey she's got a lot of savings!!! Unfortunately no I don't :( Now some of you will be thinking oh you shouldn't have horses if you don't have the funds for them incase something goes wrong - see my grandpa been well off but tight about it, he will pick up the bills if I can't help out, so the horses never go without anything.

Now going to uni in september I'm hoping to be doing the legal executive course which is all coursework no exams. I will have to travel from my house to the campus by car which will take about 30mins which is an hour commuting every day so I really do need a car and I can't share my mums as she needs hers to do the school run and work. The times I go to the horses will depend on my timetable as it did at college, I'm not sure how it will work out at uni :confused:

You still with me??? I'm not even sure I am tbh!!!

So I don't know if I'll have enough time for horses while I'm at uni, and right now I need some money for car and stuff but I can't decide which horse I would be better off selling :( and really I don't want to sell but it may have to happen when I go to uni due to having no time. Right now I am thinking sell Jet as I've outgrown her ability and carry on with Meg, but when I'm at uni with no time will I get to ride her enough to do her justice? And if that happens I'll have ended up selling the wrong horse and be even more heartbroken than I already would have been by selling Jet :( Or I could just loan Jet now and wait till I'm at uni and see what the situation is like regarding Meg and decide then as I will still have Jet. I can't face writing the advert.....

I've had sharers and part loaners before but they never worked as they never showed up and didn't do things they were asked etc so I really don't want to go there plus I'd find it difficult seeing someone else with my horse :o But a loan wouldn't solve my financial problem :confused::(

I'm soooooo confused I don't want to make the wrong decision and end up regretting it forever...

What do I do?!?!

Thanks for letting me get this off my chest!!! Tea, chocolate biscuits and a nice bottle of shiraz for those of you who have made it this far!!!

If you don't understand anything or I've missed things out and mixed them up feel free to tell me as I got confused myself writing this!!
 
I find it hard to believe you can't find a job of some sort! You have 3 horses that you can't afford - time or money, you 'need' a car. Have you talked with your mum & grandad all 3 of you together? What do they think you should do?
 
Easy decision for me. Sell the 2yr old and possibly try to sell Jet because you've admitted you've outgrown her ability and you need the money.

If you are commuting 30mins a day don't just think about time, what about the money involved? Petrol is so expensive at the moment. You really shouldn't take your mum for granted either, so you should pay for your insurance AND your horses as a matter of fact no matter how wealthy your grandpa is.

There really is only one solution to solving your financial problem- get a job!
 
Mari said:
I find it hard to believe you can't find a job of some sort! You have 3 horses that you can't afford - time or money, you 'need' a car. Have you talked with your mum & grandad all 3 of you together? What do they think you should do?
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I do need a car for when I go to Uni. I can't get all three of us together to talk about money because my mums too proud to ask for help and my grandpa bought me Meg which my mum didn't agree with and it would just turn out in a big arguement and I don't need my family upturning against each other right now especially after things this year.

No I can't afford to keep three hence my grandpa helping out, he would pay for them all even though i've said hes tight with money in an old school way but i offer to pay for stuff
 
You are very lucky to have a grandpa who is willing to pay for the upkeep of your horses.
You are also really lucky to have a mother who is willing to go halves with you on a car.

Talk to them both (it sounds as if they both care for you very much) and explain the situation, it may be that they can help you find a job (and you can't be fussy, as you probably know, jobs are pretty rare these days!)

And also, take a look at your horses. Do you see yourself having time to back and bring on the PBA? you say yourself that Meg is challenging your ability, and obviously breaking in the filly is not going to be easy?

Do you want to find a loaner for your first mare? I'm sure there are plenty of teens and adults alike looking for one that can just be taken out of the field like that and ridden, you just have to sift through them and find the right one...


:)
 
how can you say your grandpa is tight when he is helping you out??? i think he is a very nice grandpa.
if i were you id sell all of them except one.if you are commited to university aswell you arnt going to have time for all of them are you?
be practical and do wahts right and get a job aswell.
 
I think you have an exceptionally nice family!!! :)
This is the very reason I didn't get my own horse, I shared instead - I knew I'd be going to uni. If it were me, I'd loan/sell Jet, sell Amira and concentrate on Meg - but beware, even so, you MAY not have enough time...:(
3 of my friends started to commute to uni in first year - only 25 minutes away - 2 moved out of home and into uni halfway through and one dropped out as due to traffic, work commitments, petrol money they were unable to hack it. One (who had a horse) said she was having to go to the yard at 6am to literally throw a feed in and set off to uni in order to get there in time for 9am lectures. She said it was then taking her an hour-hour and a half to get home in the traffic, then run to the yard, feed, ride if she had time, muck out and then have to get her work done at home. Around exam time was a nightmare for her, and competing was out of the question. She ended up putting her horse on loan.
If this was my situation, I'd seriously consider moving to uni, taking the horse with me, selling the other two and getting a job at uni to pay for the livery there.
I hope things work out!!
K x
 
I can understand you don't really want to let any of them go but realistically you know that one of them has to, i think the best thing to do is talk to your grandpa as he is the one most involved, what would he think if you put Meg up for sale seeing as he bought her for you? he might think that you should let the filly go as she is , for want of a better description, just an extra cost at the moment that you don't need.
oh and if it makes you feel any better, i'm 40 and my parents still help me out occasionally;) :o
 
nuttynugget said:
Easy decision for me. Sell the 2yr old and possibly try to sell Jet because you've admitted you've outgrown her ability and you need the money.

If you are commuting 30mins a day don't just think about time, what about the money involved? Petrol is so expensive at the moment. You really shouldn't take your mum for granted either, so you should pay for your insurance AND your horses as a matter of fact no matter how wealthy your grandpa is.

There really is only one solution to solving your financial problem- get a job!
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Sorry but I don't see how petrol is going to cost more than living in student accomodation, buying food, tv license and everything else you need :S And I'm sorry but I don't take my mum for granted it was her present to me for my birthday! Its what she wanted to do and give me, it will be the same for my brothers too. She's a proud person like that.

Jackson said:
You are very lucky to have a grandpa who is willing to pay for the upkeep of your horses.
You are also really lucky to have a mother who is willing to go halves with you on a car.

Talk to them both (it sounds as if they both care for you very much) and explain the situation, it may be that they can help you find a job (and you can't be fussy, as you probably know, jobs are pretty rare these days!)

And also, take a look at your horses. Do you see yourself having time to back and bring on the PBA? you say yourself that Meg is challenging your ability, and obviously breaking in the filly is not going to be easy?

Do you want to find a loaner for your first mare? I'm sure there are plenty of teens and adults alike looking for one that can just be taken out of the field like that and ridden, you just have to sift through them and find the right one...


:)
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When I say Meg challenges my ability, I don't mean she's too much for me but more like she pushes me to do more and makes riding more challenging and make me learn more if that makes sense? :) I was going to break in my filly with my RI's help.

aintgotnohay said:
how can you say your grandpa is tight when he is helping you out??? i think he is a very nice grandpa.
if i were you id sell all of them except one.if you are commited to university aswell you arnt going to have time for all of them are you?
be practical and do wahts right and get a job aswell.
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he is a nice grandpa but he just moans :S I do appreciate what he does for me though

And I am looking for a job!!!! It's just no where is hiring even MaccyD's
 
KellysHeroes said:
I think you have an exceptionally nice family!!! :)
This is the very reason I didn't get my own horse, I shared instead - I knew I'd be going to uni. If it were me, I'd loan/sell Jet, sell Amira and concentrate on Meg - but beware, even so, you MAY not have enough time...:(
3 of my friends started to commute to uni in first year - only 25 minutes away - 2 moved out of home and into uni halfway through and one dropped out as due to traffic, work commitments, petrol money they were unable to hack it. One (who had a horse) said she was having to go to the yard at 6am to literally throw a feed in and set off to uni in order to get there in time for 9am lectures. She said it was then taking her an hour-hour and a half to get home in the traffic, then run to the yard, feed, ride if she had time, muck out and then have to get her work done at home. Around exam time was a nightmare for her, and competing was out of the question. She ended up putting her horse on loan.
If this was my situation, I'd seriously consider moving to uni, taking the horse with me, selling the other two and getting a job at uni to pay for the livery there.
I hope things work out!!
K x
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I do have a nice family thanks!!! :D:D:D but not when it comes to talking money with each other I'm afraid, they don't all see eye to eye at the best of times, add money and its a recipe for disaster XD.
Thanks for that! Might be more of an idea for me if it does get too much commuting everyday. My RI is friends with someone with a stud and plenty of land near the uni I'm going too so maybe that could be an option.


Ibblebibble said:
I can understand you don't really want to let any of them go but realistically you know that one of them has to, i think the best thing to do is talk to your grandpa as he is the one most involved, what would he think if you put Meg up for sale seeing as he bought her for you? he might think that you should let the filly go as she is , for want of a better description, just an extra cost at the moment that you don't need.
oh and if it makes you feel any better, i'm 40 and my parents still help me out occasionally;) :o
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Thanks, I think I'm going to talk to him this weekend, I've mentioned it to him before but I don't think he actually passed it off if you get me :confused: He wouldn't mind if I put Meg up for sale as he bought her for me, he would support me in whatever decision I make. And haha yes it does make me feel better hearing that! Glad I'm not the only one on here!
 
gonebananas said:
When I say Meg challenges my ability, I don't mean she's too much for me but more like she pushes me to do more and makes riding more challenging and make me learn more if that makes sense? :) I was going to break in my filly with my RI's help.
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Didn't mean to imply that you couldn't! Just that with uni and restricted time, it would be hard ;)
 
I kept 4 horses and a shetty through my law degree and worked 20 hours a week to fund it. My 'working' horse stayed in work, my old mare stayed in occasional work, my 2 year old got handled daily and my hunter had a sharer who paid a contribution to keep and kept her fit.

It was after uni I struggled with time and money. The hunter and the shetty had to go. I am now selling my youngster to focus on my career and then hopefully babies. I thought it would be cripplingly hard to part with her but I have found the most amazing buyer and have a water tight buy back in the sale paper work. I am actually looking forward to hearing about their life as I know she will keep in touch and my youngster is so special she deserves to be someone's world.

I would sell the little one and the pba. If u start advertising well before the money runs out and be really thorough u can turn down people who aren't right. Could even end up with someone perfect.
 
Hi, just adding my thoughts. I live near a university city and know thata ten minute journey in rush hour can easily turn into an hour.
If your "tight" Grandad is moaning then perhaps you have pushed things too far with that many horses. Do you think that now is the time to take resonsibility for yourself and your commitments for your future. I think that you may be underestimating the time , tax, ins and petrol costs involved with trying to do your course at uni justice and a young horse.
Trailers dont have to cost a lot ours was £450 on Ebay 4 years ago but what are you going to tow it with ? ar you expecting Grandad to cart you around ? perhaps that is why he hasnt bought one yet . If not then you are going to have to take a trailer towing course and buy a larger car to be able to tow it, perhaps doubling the associated costs of running a car. I think the course and test are quite expensive.
I think that perhaps your very generous Grandad is trying to tell you something, doesnt sound like he is happy with the situation . Good luck
 
OP you come across as ungrateful to those helping you out. Your grandpa is entitled to have as many holidays as he wants..he has obviously worked hard to be able to enjoy life.

There will be plenty of part time jobs going at the end of the holidays/September time.

Cut down to one horse. If YOU cannot afford to pay all costs incurred for all three then you need to cut down.
 
Is it the ILEX legal exec course you want to do or actually a law degree? If ILEX, many people do this part time over a couple of years whilst working so that may sort out the money issue, but wouldn't help time-wise!
 
Can I just point out to everyone who thinks an hours travel a day plus uni will make things really hard... that a HUGE number of people, myself included, have that sort of commute and still have horses. And as for rush hour... welcome to the real world!
 
Sorry, gonna be really blunt here, but if I were your grandad and read this, you saying he is always moaning and tight with his money, my wallet would be shut for a long time!

It comes across here that he helps you out an awful lot, and you just keep taking more.

You need to take responsibility for your horses, which you have chosen to have, and fund them yourself. I think you need to sell the most sellable, whether that be the one you have grown out of, or the one you say will never go anywhere.

I am sorry if this has come across as harsh, but TBH, you are coming across a bit ungrateful.
 
What degree are you doing? Are you applying for a student loan? When I was at uni I didn't have lectures everyday and it was quite easy to hold down a part time bar job at the same time leaving daytime free for study (and in your case also time for the horses). Remember you will also want to join in with the student social life in the evenings!! I think realistically you are going to have to look at selling one or two of your horses though, time and money will be issues. Make sure you factor in the cost of parking...I went to Portsmouth Uni and it cost a fortune to park for a whole day unless you parking a 20 min walk away and I now work at Southampton Uni and its the same situation here. Petrol costs are also crazy, I spend £150 a month on petrol just doing a 20 min commute. Maybe you should sit and work out your anticipated costs? Also go into town and go round all the shops/pubs and ask if they are looking for staff.
 
benson21 said:
Sorry, gonna be really blunt here, but if I were your grandad and read this, you saying he is always moaning and tight with his money, my wallet would be shut for a long time!

It comes across here that he helps you out an awful lot, and you just keep taking more.

You need to take responsibility for your horses, which you have chosen to have, and fund them yourself. I think you need to sell the most sellable, whether that be the one you have grown out of, or the one you say will never go anywhere.

I am sorry if this has come across as harsh, but TBH, you are coming across a bit ungrateful.
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This ^^^ Couldn't agree more.

OP I think you should sell Jet and the filly, then find a job and pay for the other one yourself. There will be lots of jobs come Sept when people leave for uni etc.
 
I kept my horse throughout uni, it was hard but possible.
I'm a stubborn git and everyone told me that I was stupid and I should sell the horse, so I decided that I would take her with me and was determined to get the most I could out of uni, whilst also enjoying my horse and that if I had to sacrifice anything it would be sleep.
I went to uni up North and live down South so obv moved up there, and took the horse with me. I worked 2 nights a week in a nursing home up there during term time, and worked days in one nursing home and nights in another at home during the holidays so I could save up enough for my rent and livery and also to compete a bit - my parents couldn't afford to help me out at all but I did have a student loan as well which helped a lot. I didn't need a lot of sleep back then...also didn't do much in the way of studying.
I took the horse with me, and had her on diy livery, so it meant no lie ins, and no all-day drinking sessions as I always had to be ok to drive (ok ride, I had a little moped... couldn't afford a car). In my final year I moved her to a local college where she was on working livery which really helped financially and timewise but didn't suit the horse. She was older and established so no longterm damage done, but if I had my time again I would keep her on diy.
I don't think I could have found time for more than one horse without sacrificing a lot of the uni experience - as it was I found I managed to get involved in student life and did plenty of socialising. and got a good degree, but in the first year especially I did feel that I was missing out on lots of fun and had loads of responsibilities and worries that my friends did not have to consider. And I never got to watch ANY daytime TV! Glad I did it that way though.
I think if I were in your shoes I would sell Jet and the filly, and would just keep Meg. University is a unique and wonderful opportunity to meet loads of likeminded people and get involved in all sorts of activities and clubs. It would be a shame to miss out on that experience for the sake of struggling to do 3 horses which you don't have time to enjoy either.
Good luck!
 
sell the 2 year old and the one you have grown out of.....

keep one on livery or advertise for grass livery (one other person) who can also check on remaining horse etc....

Then get a job and work/commute to uni like the rest of us do!

sorry to be blunt but your very fortunate to have family who pay for them - i pay for mine, do full time uni, work, run a car (petrol/tax etc)!!

its not easy but its do-able if you want something badly.
 
Luci07 said:
Can I just point out to everyone who thinks an hours travel a day plus uni will make things really hard... that a HUGE number of people, myself included, have that sort of commute and still have horses. And as for rush hour... welcome to the real world!
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^^^This!^^^

My horse is a half hour commute from where I live never mind work. Sheesh! :eek: Its not that big a deal. I also travelled much further to uni every day and still kept my horse (1) and a job. It is doable if you're FULLY committed to doing it - you'll miss out a LOT on the social side of uni - but I don't imagine it would be feasible with 3 horses to do.
 
I kept a horse on diy, in full work, whilst doing a full time uni course, which involved three hours commuting a day and working weekends. Now I have two hours commuting to full time job and 3 of the little devils on a private yard. As others are saying, it is possible. Not always easy, involved sacrifices (normally of the socialising nature) whilst at uni. That said, financially it sounds like you will have issues - your grandad sounds very generous, and you do sound rather ungrateful. I would sell the PBA and loan or sell one of the others - depending on how seriously you intend to ride whilst at uni. You may find it easier to keep the little "easy" one, and just pick him up and have fun, rather than have to keep the bigger, more challenging one in work. But that's personal preference.

If it were me, I'd keep all three, get a job (I've never known it be so bad that no one is hiring - they are round here!) and get on with it. But I'm a bit of a stubborn idiot like that.
 
I have to agree with Benson21.

I think your very generous grandad is trying to tell you he can't fund your every whim!

YOU are the one with financial difficulties. YOU need to sort them out and make some sacrifices. Your poor grandad has worked his whole life (making plenty of sacrifices of his own along the way i'm sure) and now it's his time to enjoy doing what he wants with his money.

I didn't have my own horse (despite living somewhere I could keep one virtually free of charge) until I could afford to pay for it myself - I was 26!! I had saved and bought my own car which was essential etc BEFORE i got a horse because that was the responsible thing to do. You have been priveliged enough to have had horses bought for you but you are at an age where you should really be taking more responsibility for yourself (and your horses)

I think you need to sell two of them. whether thats your little one and the baby or the little one and your current riding horse is up to you. keeping the pba while you are at uni would be quite a good idea in that you won't feel obliged to dedicate the time to riding when you could (and should) be having fun and she will be there, ready to back when you graduate... however that will also mean no riding... unless you can ride grandad's or something to keep your hand in...
 
Sell your PBA, when it comes to backing her you'll struggle to find the time to do it properly as you will have CW to do and you arnt aware of your time table. Young horses need a day to day routine not just weekends:)

I'd also sell one other, you could sell jet to a nice family and she could teach another child the ropes OR you could keep jet and settle for small time sj/hacking out (as really you wont have a lot of spare time to compete 'properly' with your 15.1). So you could spend time finding the right understanding people for you 15.1hh.

Either way I'd settle for one horse, you can always have more when you have your qualification and some more money.

Concentrate on your future and career but at the same time have that one horse as a reward!
 
They live out, therefore do not need to be mucked out or put out in the field, so the time they are given feed/hay doesnt really matter as long as they get it within a reasonable time, why do you have to get rid of any of them just yet?? If you could find yourself a job to help cover farrier costs/hay and emergencies, your grand pa will surely continue to check on them (probably gives him an interest) and give it a year or two and see how things pan out, no need to rush off and start selling your horses, prices are not good right now and for how long will the money you got for one of them keep you going, relax - all will be well, deal with it as it happens.
 
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