Confused.. Has anyone else gone off riding?

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MsMaisy

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As title really has anyone ever found they gone off riding for a while or lost enjoyment in it and given up at any point and come back to it or not?

Long story short had a bad 12 months. Previous horse was totally not as described and unsuitable. I perservered and had a couple of really nasty falls. It went for reschooling at professionals yard but due to confidence issues I couldn't get to grips with it again so found him a new home. While he was being schooled and I had nothing to ride I was desperate to.

We found a new horse that was known locally and on paper much more suitable (quiter, older, smaller). Got horse home and was mega excited. Anyway shortly after this discovered horse isn't everything we thought. Between us buying him and the previous owner we knew of him through he has formed various issues. He doesn't apreciate being groomed and is quite agressive in the stable (ok tied up outside)he has learned that he can get out of being ridden by a nervous rider by taking the pee. The groom has ridden it fine and I got on and although it didn't do anything it felt like a coiled spring and I got off devastated if im honest.

This horse (it transpires) had some reschooling of its own through two trainers as the previous girl was scared of it - although got to grips with it in the end. None of this would have bothered me before I lost my nerve as I am (when not shaking a competant rider and handler).

Since finding out this information I have shamefully totally lost interest in the horse and have been to see it about once per week for the last two weeks. The horse is on full livery so isn't being neglected but my thoughts are turning to what else I could be doing with the money..

It heart breaking cause ive always had horses and done nothing else with my spare time but i've just lost the 'want' to do it. I've got lessons booked for next week but again just don't really want to go if im honest.

I have been driving myself and OH mad deliberating whether to give up for a while but don't want to make the wrong decidion. RI thinks i'm being silly and I should 'get a grip' but i've lost the fight to sort it out..

The horse is on full livery as the yard do nothing else and im wondering if im missing the involvement of DIY. I have tried to lunge the horse/ ground work to try and build a bond with it but it runs at me and where in the past I would have stood my ground im to be honest scared of it. It doesn't do this to RI or anyone confident its just bolshy.

I suppose the question is: Do I feel this way from severe loss of confidence and should force myself to get on with it or is it time to give up and accept I don't enjoy it anymore...?

Any opinions apreciated...
 
This is too expensive a hobby to keep going when you don't enjoy it. It sounds like you need a break. Say goodbye to this one. Come back to horses when you want to and on your own terms. Not because someone else tells you to or becuase you think you should.

In a couple of months you'll probably be desperate to get back to horses. But if not at least you'll be enjoying yourself not wracked with guilt!
 
I too have lost all confidence in riding, and no longer find it a pleasure.
I hadnt ridden for 6 years ish when I got my big girlie 2 years ago, and never really intended to ride her either. She was a pity buy to stop her going for meat, or worse, to a dealer. She has issues with her ridden work, and I have now decided that if Im going to get that worked up about it, Im just not going to do it! Luckily Iv got my own land and stabling, so I can keep Mels and Seren my little one cheaply enough, and still really enjoy everything to do with keeping and looking after horses..
Perhaps you need to step right back, take maybe a 2 week holiday away from your horse, not doing anything at all with him, or going to the yard, and trying not to think about him either... That may give your head the time it needs to decide what is right for you both. Good luck x
 
This is a hard one, not sure there is a right/wrong answer. Probably you are the only one who will know deep down what you should do.

Once your confidence goes it can be very difficult to get it back. Have you spent much time with your new horse? It can take a while to build up a trusting relationship - both ways. Some horses you click with quicker than others, but if you are not together much you can't even begin to get to know each other.

I lost some confidence when I got my horse (had her about 4 months now), with hindsight it was totally unfounded and I was lucky that my OH nagged/bullied/cajooled me to 'keep at it', 'get on the bloomin' horse'.... type thing. I now love her dearly and trust her 100%.

A total break might be what you need, or you might need to 'just get on with it' - only you really know.

Something I do if I am undecided on something is to imagine one scenario first and work my way through it - then imagine the 2nd scenario. I then try to work out which scenario 'felt best/right'. You could give that a go - or just write me off as bonkers :)

Good luck with what ever you decide to do, but it is an expensive hobby if you are not enjoying it.

Best wishes :)
 
I don't enjoy riding anymore, had to have my cob put to sleep in 2008 and havn't got another. I still enjoy looking after my friend's pony but not bothered about riding. I find lessons boring and although I enjoy hacking it's mainly road based and just think it's too dangerous now. Still adore horses but the passions not there like it once was xx
 
What's wrong with having a break from horses for a bit? Its not like they are going to all go extinct if you walk away from a few months or even years. I adore my little mare, but she's only on loan to me, and when she goes back to her owner I will be having a break from horses for a bit.

I've gone off riding because of her arthritis, i feel guilty riding her! I had quite a long break from actual riding over the summer and autumn last year, when she first developed a problem, and i wanted her to recover fully before i got back on, and the enforced break made me keener than ever to get back on. Same with the dreadful weather over the winter - the lanes were icy and the school was frozen, and riding was scary at best, so i stopped (didnt want to risk Ella's knees if she went down), and after a couple of weeks of not riding, I couldnt wait to get back on her.
 
if you stop enjoying it it becomes a chore rather than a hobby - i would take a break before things get too bad you never ride again and remember the bad rather than the good - thats how i felt so am going back to weekly lessons for a few months
 
Your horse is calling the shots and is testing the boundaries in its new home, quite naturally. Don't give in.
Go and do some ground work with him/her, including some join up - and don't stand for any nonsense. Get a mate (who is firm but respects horses) at the livery to help show you where you're horse is testing and how to instil good ground manners (you may have learned this once, but now you're too close to the situation andan extra objective pair of eyes works wonders)
What you say and want, must go - the horse must learn this.
Tie up to groom.

You'll soon start enjoying it once you bond, if you stay away though, you aren't giving both of you a chance to .:):):)
 
I lost intrest for 12 months after having to give up loaning a horse-now it sounds really stupid because it wasnt even myne but the girl who owned the horse was so nice, the place was so nice, the horse was so nice and Id grown such a bond but then I realised she was too much. I thought that there was no point because I wasnt going to find such a lovely set up(I was just being stubborn and moody!) Anywayy, I took two steps back(RS) to take one forward again(loaning) which is what I think you should do.
Im not saying go to a RS or anything like that but if your not enjoying having this horse, then its too expensive to not enjoy! Why dont you try getting a schoolmaster or something like that? I know people will say you need to show the horse where he needs to be but when you lose your confidence you cant, its impossible!
Make sure whatever you do, you enjoy and you are comfortable with! After all, horse riding should be a hobby not a chore! :)
 
I had this a while ago,I was having lessons, but not really enjoying them. Isaid to my instructor I was happy to continue caring for benson, but I didnt want to ride anymore. After abou 3 weeks of not going to the yard I spoke to instructor again and in the end felt I would try something different, so went and tried some dressage. In the end it wasnt I didnt wabt to ride, its just I was jumping and scaring myself, but dressage I loved it.
 
Not sure about your overall situation but on the grooming thing, well, I don't like being stroked by strangers either! It took share horsey months to get to really *enjoy* me touching him but he now when he puts his head down for an ear scratch I know it means something. Not all horses are cuddle-tarts and it just makes it more special when they do get to like you :-)
 
I'm off riding at the moment too. My 2 are retired now and last autumn I was going to buy another. To cut a long story short I was trying a new horse which reared vertical then spun and I fell off and broke my hand. So I thought I would wait til the spring and buy then. Now it is the spring and I have lost all motivation. Just can't decide if I want another or not

Don't get me wrong I love my 2 dearly, just not sure I can get the enthusiasm up to get a rideable one. My fall hasn't dented my confidence at all, but just can't be arsed at the moment! Am hoping my interest is rekindled soon!

In your position, its a tricky one. Do you think your early experiences with this new horse could be overcome or has your confidence taken too much of a bashing to ever recover? Like hollyb says, imagine selling the horse. Would you be upset? If not then I think sell and take a break.
 
Have you got a friend or nearby riding school where you could go and ride something quiet? Then, you could decide if you have gone off riding or just gone off riding your own horse. If the latter then you probably need to sell and maybe get a quieter, possibly loan horse
 
Thank you to everyone for all your replies and support! I've got a riding lesson booked at a riding school tomorrow morning and supposedly one on my new horse in the afternoon which im having palpatations about even now!

This horse was supposed to be a schoolmaster and very quiet. I had no intention of any sort of project and even though we thought we had done everything to check it out we were duped which I suppose makes the whole thing worse as we have paid more than it is worth in a bad market. The horse isn't a nutter but its certainly far from ideal for a nervous wreck and the seller was well aware of that when we bought it.

I think to be honest i'm exhausted with horse related drama and the new horse even if it turned out to be ok had a load of lies told about it so now in my nervous state i've imagined god knows what esle we don't know etc.. I swing from wanting to sort it out to never wanting to see it again! Stupidly when I tried it and belived it was 'safe' I was fine with it!

There would be no love lost in selling it at all I think its more pride (silly as it sounds!) I bigged it up to everyone at the yard and was so excited about it and have fallen at the first hurdle over something I would have thought before was pathetic but it all seems rather big now.

Listen to me still rambling on! I wll see how I feel after the riding school tomorrow hopefully it will clear things up for me. Thanks again to everyone..
 
When I considered stopping riding because of logistical difficulties or lack of confidence it made me want to burst into tears...now I am quite a emotional person, but what I am getting at is that you will probably know if you are going to really miss it. It's nothing to feel ashamed of if you do want to give up, just sometimes the effort isn't worth what you get out of it.

I get the feeling that even if you were going to carry on the horse you have isn't the one, so maybe sell that and see how you go. Tell other horsey people you have time to help them if you do find your missing it. Maybe not having the responsibilty and being able to share your experiences with someone else would help.
 
I feel like this as well. Lately nothings gone right. Horse has got severe COPD which hasnt got much better. I feel fed up and in the last fwe weeks cannot be bothered to ride. I think that sometimes we do need a break and it can also be a combination of circumstances at the time.
 
I think a break might do you good you might really miss your horse and want to go back and have in your mind that you are really going to crack on and make a bond with your horse, or you could think that you still want a horse that you can ride but he just isnt the horse for you, or maybe you will say that you like owning a horse but havnt got the confidence to ride so get a shetland or a sec A and do a bit of in hand with it, or you might not want a horse.

There is no right or wrong its how you feel.

My brother used to ride and we shared a pony, the pony had to be PTS and my brother has never looked at another horse again and has no interest in them at all now that was 10 years ago before that he wanted to be a farrier.

Your not the first to go off riding i hope you work out whats best for you and your horse x
 
This horse was supposed to be a schoolmaster and very quiet. I had no intention of any sort of project and even though we thought we had done everything to check it out we were duped which I suppose makes the whole thing worse as we have paid more than it is worth in a bad market. The horse isn't a nutter but its certainly far from ideal for a nervous wreck and the seller was well aware of that when we bought it.
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I wonder about this. Quite often horses really are an asbolute doddle in their previous home, but taken to a new yard with a new rider they can act very differently - not suprisingly so.

There is a lady up the road to me who is very nervous and she has gone through three cobs now until she has finally found one that is obliging enough for her to handle and ride.

The previous ones were all perfectly fine for an experienced rider, who wouldn't even encounter any nappiness or behavioural problems, but most horses find it very scary and worrying to have a nervous rider on their back - either that or they just take the Michael and do what they want, usually head straight back to the yard!!

So, maybe it is your lack of confidence in the horse that is creating the issues and not the fact that the horse has issues.

However, whatever the circumstances, to pay for full livery and only see your horse every other fortnight is a ridiculous waste of money and must be very demoralising for you. If I were in that scenario I would definitely sell it and take a break until you are ready to tackle a horse properly.
 
I lost interest at 16, went off to uni shortly thereafter, and then moved to London. I started to miss riding in my early twenties, but living in the city and having a busy career, it just wasn't a practical hobby to pursue.

Skip forward to age 32, and having hacked out once or twice a year for a decade, I'm back to weekly riding lessons and hope to loan a horse in August and enter a local show. The bug is well and truly back :D

Perhaps you don't need sixteen years away from the neds, but it sounds like you should take a step back for a while.
 
had 2 years away after getting very bored with a succession of unsuitable ponies in my 20s. then cam back to it, loved it but the horses I had again werent right. I then got a horse who was a bit of a rescue, hes been a money pit, saddles, back, vet claim etc, im now fed up to top it all he completely lost all my trust in him on saturday napping and leaping aroud like a git at 17.2 and me 5'4 part of me is thinking sell him to some person whos big enough to handle him, hes not fit so imagine him when fit!

Im now met with possible saddle not fitting yet again and quotes of £500, bleugh, I just want a nice little 14.2 Fjord to have fun with, but can I sell my horse to an unknown future, not sure.

Id take a little break it does clear your head quite a bit, as said hobby should be enjoyed it costs too much not to. :):)
 
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