Considering selling

[Cozzabelle]

I bought my first horse a year ago after four years riding at riding schools and wishing that I had my own like the other liveries on the yard. Fast forward twelve months and I’m considering selling my sweet but sensitive mare. We have had ours ups and downs but nothing too dramatic. I’ve just got to the point where riding, which was once something that I lived for and couldn’t get enough, has become something that I struggle with, have gone backwards in my ability, no longer feel confident to do on my own and feel guilty that I don’t do enough of. I’m coming to accept that the financial and time burden of owning a horse has become too much for me and my family at this time in my life which is heartbreaking because I wanted it for so long. Mostly I just feel so guilty for wanting to sell my mare, she was moved on a couple of times before she came to me and I swore I wouldn’t do that to her. But I can see that my level of stress is beginning to effect her and she doesn’t deserve that. I didn’t want to be one of those people. But the constant cycle of expense, worry and stress is wearing me down. Has anyone been in a similar situation and what did you decide to do?

 

[HashRouge]

I haven't been in a similar situation, but it sounds like this is something you have thought long and hard about and, based on what you have said, it seems like a sensible decision. Riding is supposed to be fun - owning a horse is a very expensive hobby if you aren't enjoying it any more and as you say, it isn't really fair on your mare. You could sell, take a break, and then maybe try riding lessons again if you miss it.

An alternative, if you aren't sure about selling or are worried you will regret it, would be to try and find a good loaner for your mare. It's not always the most straightforward solution, but if you take the time to find a decent loaner it would give you a bit of breathing space and perhaps the chance to decide whether selling really is the right choice.

 

[Midlifecrisis]

You have scratched the itch and discovered that at this time horse ownership is not for you. It isn’t uncommon and you should sell with a clear conscience...you have to be totally committed to the lifestyle for it to work and there is no shame in saying it’s not for you.

 

[ycbm]

I think you need to separate two different things in your head. You have over horsed yourself (not uncommon, don't beat yourself up about it) and have a mare you aren't confident to ride. You should sell her if you can't get a good instructor to help you through this phase, and maybe even if you can. And then take a little while to work out whether the cost and time issues were to give yourself more justification to sell an unsuitable horse, which you feel guilty about doing, or whether they are genuine.

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[Widgeon]

I think you need to separate two different things in your head. You have over horsed yourself (not uncommon, don't beat yourself up about it) and have a mare you aren't confident to ride. You should sell her if you can't get a good instructor to help you through this phase, and maybe even if you can. And then take a little while to work out whether the cost and time issues were to give yourself more justification to sell an unsuitable horse, which you feel guilty about doing, or whether they are genuine.

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Definitely this. I would find a good home for your mare and sell her. Then give yourself a break, pay for some fun hacking on nice horses at the best local place you can find, have some lessons and see if you start enjoying it again. You can justify spending money on good lessons and hacking because it's still cheaper than owning! Then if you find that's not enough, try again and buying your own. Good luck.