Continuing to loan a retired horse?

[Coop23]

Hi all, first post so please be kind!

Just looking for some advice on a situation I am now dealing with. Had my horse on full loan for 2 years. Love her to absolute pieces, fully bonded and treat her and see her as my own.

She has been lame for the best part of about a year and half. We were hoping with rest and turnout she would come right but after following vet advice the decision has been made to retire her. During this time I have continued to care and pay for her as if she was my own as I was hopeful she may of come right (obviously things didn’t go the way we had hoped).

I’m still going to continue to look after her (owner is unable to care for her following an injury which was one of the reasons I took her on for her so she didn’t have to sell) so she will be staying with me / her routine won’t change however I can only afford to keep one horse. Am I out of order to ask the owner to take back over the cost of keeping her? She’s a TB and it’s not just as simple of putting her in a field as she requires to be stabled in winter due to mud fever ect so things can get expensive so if I was to continue paying for everything I would essentially have to give up riding. Horse is only young too so she will be with me for a very long time.

Now I’m not ignorant. If I legally owned her of course I would have to pay ect and it would just be one of them things but the reality is she is not legally mine. Again I’m not giving her back and will continue to love and care for her as if nothing had changed but if the owner was to take back handling the cost of her it gives me the option to get another horse and continue to reach the goals I had planned.

We never signed a contract. Owner is good friend and I’ve never once complained regarding having to pay whilst she has been lame but I just feel it’s unfair to myself for having to put every penny I earn into this. She will always have a home with me but I do feel like the owner should take back some responsibility I’m just a bit stuck atm….

Any advice would be appreciated.

 

[The Xmas Furry]

Speak to the owner over a cuppa.
This horse has only been rideable for 25% of the time you have had her, many many others would have called it a day way before now with a loan horse.

Be prepared that if the owner isn't willing to pay for her horse, then a question of pts may come up.

 

[Pearlsacarolsinger]

Imho you need to talk to the owner and explain that you have already been paying to keep an unsound horse for longer than the horse was sound. Owner should have offered to cover the cost, even if unable to do the physical care.

 

[nagblagger]

I would write/talk to the owner saying something like..
Obviously now the vet has confirmed that X should be retired I wondered what your plans are as I will be looking for a horse to ride. If you want to keep and pay for her at 'Y' , I am more than happy to assist with her daily care as before.

 

[Cragrat]

There are arguments both ways.

The downside of loaning is the horse is never yours, and can be taken back by the owner .
The upside is the horse is never yours and can be given back.

Being a friend, and not having an agreement, of course muddies everything.

If you DID own the horse, you would have to consider other options if you didn't want to continue paying for a field ornament. What decision do you think the owner would make?

 

[Coop23]

There are arguments both ways.

The downside of loaning is the horse is never yours, and can be taken back by the owner .
The upside is the horse is never yours and can be given back.

Being a friend, and not having an agreement, of course muddies everything.

If you DID own the horse, you would have to consider other options if you didn't want to continue paying for a field ornament. What decision do you think the owner would make?

Thank you for your advice! If I did legally own her I would keep her as she would be my responsibility I suppose retirement is something we need to account for when buying a horse but my issue is that I don’t own her and have this option to give her up as you suggest above that’s one of the positives of loaning.

while I would never give her back nor would the owner take her off me if the owner was to take back responsibility of the cost of things it would allow me to buy my own. Owner wants to retire her doesn’t want to PTS no reason to really but she also hasn’t suggested she would take back over cost either. I was more wondering if people believe I should continue to pay regardless of weather I can ride ect

 

[Melody Grey]

You’re more than reasonable for wanting to return the horse OP, that’s the benefit of loaning. Many wouldn’t have kept her this long with such uncertainty of whether she’d come right. You could offer to look after her if the owner would pay her bills as has been suggested, but I wouldn’t if thats at the sacrifice of having a ridden horse. Sorry if this sounds unkind, it’s not intended to, but it’s not your problem.

 

[Melody Grey]

Thank you for your advice! If I did legally own her I would keep her as she would be my responsibility I suppose retirement is something we need to account for when buying a horse but my issue is that I don’t own her and have this option to give her up as you suggest above that’s one of the positives of loaning.

while I would never give her back nor would the owner take her off me if the owner was to take back responsibility of the cost of things it would allow me to buy my own. Owner wants to retire her doesn’t want to PTS no reason to really but she also hasn’t suggested she would take back over cost either. I was more wondering if people believe I should continue to pay regardless of weather I can ride ect

Definitely you shouldn’t be paying, offering your time and attention are more than adequate.

 

[Coop23]

Speak to the owner over a cuppa.
This horse has only been rideable for 25% of the time you have had her, many many others would have called it a day way before now with a loan horse.

Be prepared that if the owner isn't willing to pay for her horse, then a question of pts may come up.

Thank you! Owner is happy to retire doesn’t want to PTS as there’s no reason to currently but she also hasn’t mentioned anything about the future costs of things. I will take everyone’s advice and look to meet up with her to discuss things. Thanks so much!

 

[Clodagh]

Thank you! Owner is happy to retire doesn’t want to PTS as there’s no reason to currently but she also hasn’t mentioned anything about the future costs of things. I will take everyone’s advice and look to meet up with her to discuss things. Thanks so much!

We will need an update!

 

[Fieldlife]

I would consider the costs of keeping her stabled. Loads of TBs can happily live out. A good field retirement where she can live out on free draining soil with a herd and large shared shelters may work out far cheaper and stabled DIY.

 

[Coop23]

I would consider the costs of keeping her stabled. Loads of TBs can happily live out. A good field retirement where she can live out on free draining soil with a herd and large shared shelters may work out far cheaper and stabled DIY.

Thank you she would happily live out and I have mentioned this already to owner about finding a field better suited but I think owner wishes to keep her where she is which will also help me continue to care for her as I do wish to continue her care (there is very limited yards in my area) and our fields have little drainage so would require to be stabled over winter. We have access to all year turnout 24/7 but her legs just don’t cope with all the mud. Which is why I think if she’s not willing to move her at least I think the responsibility of the cost should go back to her but just wasn’t sure

 

[Mrs. Jingle]

Thank you for your advice! If I did legally own her I would keep her as she would be my responsibility I suppose retirement is something we need to account for when buying a horse but my issue is that I don’t own her and have this option to give her up as you suggest above that’s one of the positives of loaning.

while I would never give her back nor would the owner take her off me if the owner was to take back responsibility of the cost of things it would allow me to buy my own. Owner wants to retire her doesn’t want to PTS no reason to really but she also hasn’t suggested she would take back over cost either. I was more wondering if people believe I should continue to pay regardless of weather I can ride ect

You have already gone over and way beyond what many loanees would be prepared to do and that is highly commendable. I think a nice cup of tea and an open and honest chat with the owner is long overdue, I hope she appreciates your offer to carry on giving care and offers to pay expenses so you can get a nice riding horse for all your trouble.

 

[irishdraft]

I don't think your being unreasonable in wanting the owner to fund her own horses retirement. As others have said you need to have a frank discussion with owner to see the way forward especially as you want to ride and can only afford one, nothing unusual in that at all. Hopefully your friend will see this and not try to emotionally blackmail you over it .

 

[PinkvSantaboots]

Thank you she would happily live out and I have mentioned this already to owner about finding a field better suited but I think owner wishes to keep her where she is which will also help me continue to care for her as I do wish to continue her care (there is very limited yards in my area) and our fields have little drainage so would require to be stabled over winter. We have access to all year turnout 24/7 but her legs just don’t cope with all the mud. Which is why I think if she’s not willing to move her at least I think the responsibility of the cost should go back to her but just wasn’t sure

I don't think your being unreasonable at all and if the owner wants her living in a stable now she is retired she should be responsible for paying for that, it's certainly not down to you to pay for her now but I understand that you are friends so obviously want to come to an amicable agreement.

 

[Ahrena]

I’m on the flip side of this. I am the owner of a 26 year old horse who is out on loan.

Loanee has had him for years now. She messaged me a couple of weeks back saying she thinks it may be time for him to retire come autumn. I’m lucky to keep my horses at home and I have space with him so she’s aware there’s an open ended invite for him to come home to retire.

If I couldn’t look after him anymore, I would expect to pay for retirement livery and would absolutely cover his costs if she were to keep caring for him.

At the end of the day, I chose to loan this horse rather then sell him, so the buck stops with me and I wouldn’t expect anyone to care for my retired horse for free.

 

[Fransurrey]

I think you offering to look after her with the owner paying costs is a good compromise, especially as they want to keep her at a yard where stabling is necessary and you're not legally obligated. I'd go down the cuppa route. Hopefully your friend will appreciate that you've looked after her at cost to you for a long time whilst she's been lame.

 

[KEK]

We must be entirely a soft touch- we are still paying for all of the costs for our loan 25yo standy and she hasn't been ridden due to lameness for over 3 years (field sound). And her owner still comes to visit from time to time.. I actually find this pretty annoying behaviour as she's never offered to help pay for anything so I hear you, OP.

 

[nagblagger]

Maybe you should give her back @KEK , or go along the lines of some of the advice on here.

 

[KEK]

Maybe you should give her back @KEK , or go along the lines of some of the advice on here.

The owner doesn't have land so she can't take her back. I consider she's abandoned her, really, which makes the visits even more annoying (and she stays for ages, last week I left her to it in my paddock for 2 hours..!)

 

[ihatework]

You've done more than many loaners would have done already, so whatever happens do not feel guilty.

I thinks it's more than reasonable to ask the owner to cover out of pocket costs during the horses retirement, I'm surprised the owner hasn't broached the conversation with you already.

The difficult thing will be the friendship, if the owner can't or won't cover costs - have a think about what you will do if they say No. Personally, I would then send the horse back to them. If for whatever reason you decide to keep the horse and keep paying, then I really don't think you could consider the owner a true friend. You don't have to be a martyr.

 

[Abacus]

If you had enjoyed many years of riding the horse then it might be different, but 6 months is barely getting started,and you have done another 18 months of care, not to mention probably vet visits (and cost?). If I were the owner I would understand this and be grateful that you are offering a solution for her care even at my cost.

It may be worth though exploring retirement livery options to free you of the caring responsibilities, you could offer to visit regularly and pay her attention but it would still add up to less overall work for you. Two is harder than one even if the costs are covered. And maybe even nicer for the horse to live out her retirement in a herd outside, if you can find a good place.

 

[FinnishLapphund]

I would write/talk to the owner saying something like..
Obviously now the vet has confirmed that X should be retired I wondered what your plans are as I will be looking for a horse to ride. If you want to keep and pay for her at 'Y' , I am more than happy to assist with her daily care as before.

Maybe you've already talked to your friend @Coop23 , but if you haven't, I especially like the above suggestion. Regardless of how you choose to phrase it, I hope you make it simple for yourself, by not leaving any opening which can make it sound as if she has an option to choose between taking back the responsibility to pay all costs for her now retired horse, or letting you continue to pay all costs for her horse.

Since you're friends, I understand if it's tempting to want to go gently, but make it clear that since the horse is now permanently retired, you of course can no longer continue to loan her as a ridden horse, and will start to look for another rideable horse to loan/buy. Followed by either bluntly telling her that since you're ending the loaning agreement, it also means that from X date all bills regarding her now retired horse will again be sent to her, or if you want to be a bit less blunt, say that you want to know at which date she will be taking back the responsibility to pay the bills for her now retired horse.

Ideally your friend will accept this as a reasonable person, but maybe be a little bit prepared for that it is possible that she might get upset. Perhaps her situation has changed negatively money wise since you started loaning her horse, or perhaps she has simply gotten used to using her previous "horse money" on other stuff, in either case, she might not want to start paying for her horse again, and there's always a risk that that could lead to that she decides that she doesn't want you to continue to take care of her horse at all, without she prefers to make other arrangements that doesn't involve you. Which will hurt you since you say you've grown very fond of the horse.
Worst case scenario, it will also torpedo your friendship, but if that happens, she was only your friend as long as she could use you, and even though it might not feel that way at the start, you will be better off without her.

But, fingers crossed, hopefully everything works out as well as possible, she starts paying for her horse again without any issues, and you two remain friends.