Control freak yard owner!!!

[BeautySoph]

I am confused. I have owned my 14.1hh Irish cob mare for 6 months and she is at a livery yard where she has actually been for 2 years(i bought her and kept her where she is) This yard is actually a place I have ridden at since I was 10 so am very familiar with everything. She lives out 24/7 all year round and has hay in the field in winter months, yard owner does this.

This means I do not have the pressure of going twice a day like DIY. The yard owner however is another story. They are a control freak, a bully at times, she even referred to herself as my horses mummy at one point! She is very knowledgable and helpful but I wish she would just back off and not criticise everything I do.

I work shifts and worry that if I moved to DIY I would struggle. Having a sharer is not an option... However DIY would mean that I would feel perhaps like I actually have my own horse!! Opinions please ? Thanks

 

[be positive]

As you bought the pony from the yard the YO has probably known her for longer than you so does feel that she is in control, which to some extent she is, you have been involved there for many years but not as an owner so probably get treated much the same as you were prior to buying her, moving to DIY on the same yard will probably be worse the YO will still be there to criticise and you will be there more often to be criticised.

I would suggest you look for somewhere else, you may find full grass livery in more friendly environment or assisted DIY where you will not be bullied and can enjoy your horse as you should be able to, on your own terms not someone elses, it may feel like a big step but start looking and if you find the right place move and don't look back.

 

[Flyingwithoutwings]

Hiya, don't move to DIY if you feel it would be unfair on you and your horse. If she's not doing anything to hurt your horse, then rise above it. She may be a bully but she just wants attention, so leave her. If she is claiming to be your "horses mummy" it's slightly, well, childish? Don't you think. You could either give her what she wants.. Attention, and move away. Or you could ignore her. Maybe move to part DIY. I don't ow if you have this option but at my livery yard they do like a three day DIY. Idk. Look into it xx

 

[dogatemysalad]

I understand how you feel but in the defence of the YO, you say she is knowledgeable and helpful, so maybe she's not so bad. Even YO's become very fond of their livery horses. I guess she just wants to ensure your horse is ok.

The more time you spend with your horse, the more she'll feel like you are her owner. I think its always hard to take on a new horse and stay at the old yard but with time and doing things with her, you'll get there and the YO will gradually step back. It happens a lot.
The YO maybe a strong and forthright character but since you have been there for years, I guess, she's genuine enough.

Sometimes moving yard can help to establish yourself as an owner but don't do it if your horse can't have the same level of care and companionship otherwise you'll find yourself dealing with a new set of problems.

 

[MiJodsR2BlinkinTite]

I understand how you feel but in the defence of the YO, you say she is knowledgeable and helpful, so maybe she's not so bad. Even YO's become very fond of their livery horses. I guess she just wants to ensure your horse is ok.

The more time you spend with your horse, the more she'll feel like you are her owner. I think its always hard to take on a new horse and stay at the old yard but with time and doing things with her, you'll get there and the YO will gradually step back. It happens a lot.
The YO maybe a strong and forthright character but since you have been there for years, I guess, she's genuine enough.

Sometimes moving yard can help to establish yourself as an owner but don't do it if your horse can't have the same level of care and companionship otherwise you'll find yourself dealing with a new set of problems.

Agree with this basically. As a YO myself (we only offer DIY here) I can see where your YO is coming from: TBH I think the "mummy" thing is merely an idiosyncracy rather than anything "controlling", and I would treat it as such.

I would be hesitant to move yards at the mo TBH; yes you're maybe feeling a little overwhelmed, and are worried that other people, especially the YO, are "interfering" with your horse and/or telling you what to do and thus detracting from your "ownership" role. BUT you are in the situation where possibly you simply haven't time for the DIY option, and your horse has obviously been on this yard for some while now and has got used to the routine, and if you either change to a different routine where you horse might not receive the attention it has to date, or worse still, move to another yard where things might be a whole lot worse, it will be unsettling for both of you and you might just be going from the frying pan into the fire!!!! After all, your horse has been on this yard a while now, and has settled into the routine - and TBH your horse is the thing that is important to you. You will find there are ALWAYS personalities at yards that will try to "interfere" and/or bully and boss other people around, that's the way things are unfortunately: and at least this is a case of "better the devil you know"........??? :

Why don't you have a quiet chat with your YO? Pick a time when she can give you a while and say you're just feeling a bit that you're struggling to feel that you are your horse's "owner"......... as a YO I'd be far happier if someone came to talk things over rather than feeling they have to post on HHO that I was a "control freak"!!!!

Its not easy being a YO; you have to please everyone, all of the time, AND make sure that all horses in your care are OK, have enough hay, food, turnout etc., and that everyone riding stays as safe as they can.

Your YO sounds like she's had to toughen up a bit to deal with difficult people - any of us who're YO's have had to develop quite a thick skin TBH!!!, but I suspect that underneath it all she's a real darling who really cares about the horses (and owners) and would value you going to her quietly and having a little chat about things.

 

[_GG_]

Agree with this basically. As a YO myself (we only offer DIY here) I can see where your YO is coming from: TBH I think the "mummy" thing is merely an idiosyncracy rather than anything "controlling", and I would treat it as such.

I would be hesitant to move yards at the mo TBH; yes you're maybe feeling a little overwhelmed, and are worried that other people, especially the YO, are "interfering" with your horse and/or telling you what to do and thus detracting from your "ownership" role. BUT you are in the situation where possibly you simply haven't time for the DIY option, and your horse has obviously been on this yard for some while now and has got used to the routine, and if you either change to a different routine where you horse might not receive the attention it has to date, or worse still, move to another yard where things might be a whole lot worse, it will be unsettling for both of you and you might just be going from the frying pan into the fire!!!! After all, your horse has been on this yard a while now, and has settled into the routine - and TBH your horse is the thing that is important to you. You will find there are ALWAYS personalities at yards that will try to "interfere" and/or bully and boss other people around, that's the way things are unfortunately: and at least this is a case of "better the devil you know"........??? :

Why don't you have a quiet chat with your YO? Pick a time when she can give you a while and say you're just feeling a bit that you're struggling to feel that you are your horse's "owner"......... as a YO I'd be far happier if someone came to talk things over rather than feeling they have to post on HHO that I was a "control freak"!!!!

Its not easy being a YO; you have to please everyone, all of the time, AND make sure that all horses in your care are OK, have enough hay, food, turnout etc., and that everyone riding stays as safe as they can.

Your YO sounds like she's had to toughen up a bit to deal with difficult people - any of us who're YO's have had to develop quite a thick skin TBH!!!, but I suspect that underneath it all she's a real darling who really cares about the horses (and owners) and would value you going to her quietly and having a little chat about things.

Perfect post as are the others along the sane vein.

 

[BeautySoph]

Ok thank you for all your advice