Could it be grief?

[Biglets Mummy Again]

Hi All - I'm not a newbie but for some reason I cant get into my old account so have been advised by H & H to register again - so here I am desperate for some advice.
8 weeks ago we lost our much loved mini Dougall who has lived with his mini partner for over 20 years night and day. They never had a day apart. From the moment Doog passed my little elderly mini has gone through the floor. He wont lift his head up from the ground, he has to be coaxed in and out of his stable , he staggers when he walks and as soon as he gets in his stable he just lies right down on his side and stares at the ceiling. He is eating and drinking though. I obviously got the vet out straight away and after a full exam and bloods can find nothing physically wrong with him bar slight lameness on back left which at 28 years old isn't unexpected. He is blind in one eye but he has been for some time now. He seems marginally better in the day as he is in with the "big" lad so he does have company and their stables are adjoining so he can see him all the time when he is in.
Farrier has looked as well and I'm on the verge of getting a physio out to see if that helps but I just want to get my little chap happy again. Before he lost his friend he was in rude health and trotted around head in the air happy as anything but its almost as if he has given up. I know you cant put human feelings onto an animal ( so I've been told - Jury out on that one ) but could this be depression brought on by grief?.He is getting extra love , attention and fussing but nothing is lifting his spirits. Vet on the second appointment thought he could be depressed. We have tried him on a course of bute incase its pain somewhere but no different. I am looking for another little mini to keep him company but not having much luck at rescues but would love to hear from anyone who has experienced something similar with their ponies. Thanks for reading x

 

[Meowy Catkin]

Yes it could be grief.

I'm sorry for your loss.

 

[poiuytrewq]

So sad to read, I’m really sorry for your loss.
Not on the same level quite but last year I lost my old horse and he left behind a Welsh A who’s in his late 20’s.
They were together 24/7 even sharing a stable and as much as I tried to fuss over the pony he wasn’t interested. I put him in with my other horses and it was pretty horrible, he didn’t want to settle with them and spent hours stood calling and just a bit distressed/unsettled.
I’m not sure when things started to change but they did and now he’s just fine again. It did take a while and I thought it wasn’t going to work but he can now even handle being in a stable by himself.

 

[daffy44]

I'm so sorry for your loss, yes, it absolutely could be grief, I would give the little one some company as soon as possible.

I lost a horse last year, and her best friend was with her when she died, and she only left the body when she was ready, but even so, after the horse was buried her best friend just lay down in her stable all day, only picked at hay and looked utterly miserable. Fortunately I had another elderly pony who could be her new friend and as soon as I put them together she perked up, she was very clingy to her new friend for about a week, and then they settled into a more relaxed relationship, and they are very happy together.

 

[ElleSkywalkingintheair]

I lost a pony P a few weeks ago, knowing her shetland pal N (been together since they were 4 and 5) would be alone, I got a new shetland D before I had P PTS thinking N would be fine with her new buddy. They met and went out together before P was PTS.

Once P had gone it was apparent something wasn't right with N. She wouldn't eat, stood with her nose in corner of stable, was listless to handle and had none of her usual personality (she enjoys a tantrum and likes to wait to you get close to catch her before running off at high speed and taking herself in, generally by opening shut gates). I was sure she was ill and got her tested for cushings which was clear.

A chat with the vet said said she was most likely grieving, a few weeks later shes showing subtle signs of improvement. One day she had her head over the door, which we realised she hadn't done in months, even before P died but when she was very ill. She had a tiny tantrum the other night when her food was late, and shes trotted/cantered in few times in the last few weeks. Yesterday she waited for me to get close and you guessed it, trotted off. She's by no means back to normal but little glimpses keep coming through.

Really hope your little chap perks up soon and you find a nice friend for him

 

[Biglets Mummy Again]

Yes it could be grief.

I'm sorry for your loss.

Thank you so much Catkin - we all miss him so much x

 

[Biglets Mummy Again]

So sad to read, I’m really sorry for your loss.
Not on the same level quite but last year I lost my old horse and he left behind a Welsh A who’s in his late 20’s.
They were together 24/7 even sharing a stable and as much as I tried to fuss over the pony he wasn’t interested. I put him in with my other horses and it was pretty horrible, he didn’t want to settle with them and spent hours stood calling and just a bit distressed/unsettled.
I’m not sure when things started to change but they did and now he’s just fine again. It did take a while and I thought it wasn’t going to work but he can now even handle being in a stable by himself.

Thank you so much - that gives me hope that he will work through it- glad your Welshie picked up - I feel so helpless to help him x

 

[PurBee]

I concur with the others - having witnessed different species of animals showing distress/dis-interest after the departure of their mates.

Sorry for your loss...its hard to know how the other animals will react when one goes. Its only been 8 weeks so still fresh and a change your 28yr old will take time to adjust to.
Your idea of finding another mini companion could lift his spirits...if just for distraction to help him become involved with life again. Poor little boy, you must be heartbroken...but know its temporary and he has the big companion so not totally alone.

Maybe start a separate thread on here ‘Desperately seeking mini companion,“ include area youre in if travel distance is restricted for you.

We as humans know grief well and know that a distraction of another new animal helps a lot, helps us keep on...despite the grief. The same seems to work for animals.

Wishing you huge luck in finding a mini soon to befriend and cheer up your boy.

 

[Biglets Mummy Again]

I'm so sorry for your loss, yes, it absolutely could be grief, I would give the little one some company as soon as possible.

I lost a horse last year, and her best friend was with her when she died, and she only left the body when she was ready, but even so, after the horse was buried her best friend just lay down in her stable all day, only picked at hay and looked utterly miserable. Fortunately I had another elderly pony who could be her new friend and as soon as I put them together she perked up, she was very clingy to her new friend for about a week, and then they settled into a more relaxed relationship, and they are very happy together.

Thank you so much Daffy - think I need to up the horse shopping something I haven't done for a very long time x

 

[Biglets Mummy Again]

I concur with the others - having witnessed different species of animals showing distress/dis-interest after the departure of their mates.

Sorry for your loss...its hard to know how the other animals will react when one goes. Its only been 8 weeks so still fresh and a change your 28yr old will take time to adjust to.
Your idea of finding another mini companion could lift his spirits...if just for distraction to help him become involved with life again. Poor little boy, you must be heartbroken...but know its temporary and he has the big companion so not totally alone.

Maybe start a separate thread on here ‘Desperately seeking mini companion,“ include area youre in if travel distance is restricted for you.

We as humans know grief well and know that a distraction of another new animal helps a lot, helps us keep on...despite the grief. The same seems to work for animals.

Wishing you huge luck in finding a mini soon to befriend and cheer up your boy.

That's a brilliant idea Purbee - I have been horrified at the price of some of the little ones Ive seen for sale and would love to rescue - Thank you so much for your response x

 

[Biglets Mummy Again]

I lost a pony P a few weeks ago, knowing her shetland pal N (been together since they were 4 and 5) would be alone, I got a new shetland D before I had P PTS thinking N would be fine with her new buddy. They met and went out together before P was PTS.

Once P had gone it was apparent something wasn't right with N. She wouldn't eat, stood with her nose in corner of stable, was listless to handle and had none of her usual personality (she enjoys a tantrum and likes to wait to you get close to catch her before running off at high speed and taking herself in, generally by opening shut gates). I was sure she was ill and got her tested for cushings which was clear.

A chat with the vet said said she was most likely grieving, a few weeks later shes showing subtle signs of improvement. One day she had her head over the door, which we realised she hadn't done in months, even before P died but when she was very ill. She had a tiny tantrum the other night when her food was late, and shes trotted/cantered in few times in the last few weeks. Yesterday she waited for me to get close and you guessed it, trotted off. She's by no means back to normal but little glimpses keep coming through.

Really hope your little chap perks up soon and you find a nice friend for him

View attachment 73348

Just love this picture - its gorgeous

 

[nellietinker]

Glenda Spooner have just had some Shetland and shetland crosses in

 

[Biglets Mummy Again]

Glenda Spooner have just had some Shetland and shetland crosses in

Im on it - that's one I've not checked nellie - thank you so much x

 

[PurBee]

That's a brilliant idea Purbee - I have been horrified at the price of some of the little ones Ive seen for sale and would love to rescue - Thank you so much for your response x

ive been browsing at mini’s recently too and agree, the prices are shocking!

There’s lots of traffic on this site an many folk know lots of horse folk not on here who may know of mini’s needing homes....so keep your search thread bumped to first page with requests on ‘whats new’, so lots of people see it.

 

[ElleSkywalkingintheair]

Just love this picture - its gorgeous

That's was the minute D got off the lorry, they were buddies straight away but not best best friends.

I tried WHW, Bransby and a few other organisations looking for a companion then DSW found D for sale so I bought her. Here is a link to a thread I did looking for a companion a few people made great suggestions of charities to try

https://forums.horseandhound.co.uk/threads/shetland-rehoming.803880/

 

[Xmasha]

So sorry for you both

Yes, it could well be grief. When my 1st homebred was PTS at 9yo his mum ( Asha ) was in a bad way for a couple of weeks. Even being with the others ( which included her daughter ) wasnt enough to cheer her up. It just took time. It was heartbreaking to see her like that. I honestly thought something else was wrong, but after a few weeks she found her spark.

 

[Emilieu]

I’m no help at all but this is one of the saddest things I have ever read ? the poor wee soul. I’m sorry for your loss and really hope that he perks up soon

 

[maya2008]

Absolutely yes. The year my oldest mare’s long time best buddy died, I thought I was going to lose her too. She literally almost pined away to nothing. She had a herd full of long-time friends, a new boy to cheer her up, the best food, rugs etc we could provide - but she was a hat rack. You cannot force a horse to eat, and she just didn’t care any more.

Thinking she was going that summer, I then bought a new mare, which coincidentally was similar to the one we had lost. A small bay New Forest. Oh my was that a game changer. Apparently, what she couldn’t live without was a small, cheeky, bay New Forest in her life. She perked up almost instantly and is now in good health, having wintered well with minimal rugs ever since.

She and that new New Forest had an argument yesterday. I haven’t seen her so sheepish and sad in a long time (there was kicking, and NF has fur missing). Almost like she feels that if she is mean to this one, she will get sick and die like the old one did.

Your little one just needs the right new companion - I hope you find one soon!

 

[brighteyes]

World Horse Welfare and Blue Cross always have smalls in.

 

[SatansLittleHelper]

Awwww how bloody heartbreaking for you both, so sorry for your loss ?
I dont have any advice to add to what's been said but I really hope you can get things sorted for him soon xx

 

[Ownedby4horses]

So very sorry for your loss. I totally agree that it is grief. Some horses are able to seemingly cope when they have seen the body and move on (when we lost hubby’s mare suddenly, we let the herd see her body in the stable and they all went out and no one called, it was eerily silent for a few days and no running around playing.

we have three minis and when our eldest (31yrs) was very poorly at the end of last year, the vets advice was to shut the other two minis out of the stable (they had free range then in the barn), so that we could monitor him and let him rest etc. His best friend who is 12yrs old has been with him constantly since he was 5months old and he was that traumatised by our elderly mini being sick and he could only see him over the door, he attacked our other mini (who he’s also best friends with). Without putting human emotions onto them, I think a lot of times, we don’t understand how much they really do feel.

I hope you can find a new wee friend asap and I really hope things improve. x

 

[bluehorse]

Whereabouts are you based OP? Munchkins Miniature Shetland Rescue may have something suitable for rehoming as an elderly companion to yours. They are based in Devon though and don’t rehome very far out of the south west.
https://www.mini-munchkins.org/

 

[Biglets Mummy Again]

So sorry for you both

Yes, it could well be grief. When my 1st homebred was PTS at 9yo his mum ( Asha ) was in a bad way for a couple of weeks. Even being with the others ( which included her daughter ) wasnt enough to cheer her up. It just took time. It was heartbreaking to see her like that. I honestly thought something else was wrong, but after a few weeks she found her spark.

Thank you so much blue horse - I am feeling so much more hopeful that he might come out of this x

 

[Biglets Mummy Again]

So very sorry for your loss. I totally agree that it is grief. Some horses are able to seemingly cope when they have seen the body and move on (when we lost hubby’s mare suddenly, we let the herd see her body in the stable and they all went out and no one called, it was eerily silent for a few days and no running around playing.

we have three minis and when our eldest (31yrs) was very poorly at the end of last year, the vets advice was to shut the other two minis out of the stable (they had free range then in the barn), so that we could monitor him and let him rest etc. His best friend who is 12yrs old has been with him constantly since he was 5months old and he was that traumatised by our elderly mini being sick and he could only see him over the door, he attacked our other mini (who he’s also best friends with). Without putting human emotions onto them, I think a lot of times, we don’t understand how much they really do feel.

I hope you can find a new wee friend asap and I really hope things improve. x

Thank you -

Whereabouts are you based OP? Munchkins Miniature Shetland Rescue may have something suitable for rehoming as an elderly companion to yours. They are based in Devon though and don’t rehome very far out of the south west.
https://www.mini-munchkins.org/

Im in Herts so I think they wont rehome this distancexxx