Creepy Ex Owners and how not to become one!!

horsefeed

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10 July 2013
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I have traced my old childhood pony through a FB group and then I commented on picture of him saying used to own him and attached a pic of him from year ago.
Definitely same pony, very distinctive markings. He now lives less than an hour from me. Current owner commented and we exchanged a few comments. I (my parents) owned him 15 years ago so he must have had a few owners since and probably but recognise me but I would love to go and see him, receive updated on him. I would also like to let her know that if he ever needs a home to let me know but I don't want to become 1 of those creepy ex owners that wants updates all the times as I have had those on ponies I have since brought and they are a nightmare?
How would you all approach this?
 

helenchat

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11 June 2016
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Hmm that's a tricky one! Think it can be a fine line sometimes - I'm always worried about being one of those old owners too! I happened to recognise my old pony at a show one day, and after approaching and chatting to the woman who now owns him I added her on Facebook, and she posts regular updates on her account about how they're getting on- so I'm able to see their news without stalking too much ! Even though they live a good few counties away I have run into them at a couple of national championships this year, and when I do I always like to say hi, give my old boy a polo, and if I have time I'll try and catch her test and congratulate her afterwards. Other than that we don't really have any contact- I think maybe this is a less pressured way to do it, as I know I've felt pressure in the past from old owners insisting on coming to watch competitions/training etc., which whilst sweet, can be off putting!
 

Merlod

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Just send her a polite message and/or friend request. I have a couple of ex owners of my ponies on facebook and I am happy for them to see what I am doing. 1 girl is lovely and just comments nice things or likes the pictures i've invited her down and we even meet up at shows which is really nice, another owner was a complete PITA, always commenting about how much they love and miss "their boy" and that really grated because it just made me feel like saying well you shouldn't have sold him then if you loved him so much.. so stop trying to keep a claim on him
 

{123756}

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Agree with above. Add on facebook and hope they update regularly, maybe comment mentioning that you would love to see him if they ever have some time and leave the ball in their court. f they chose not to take that offer, leave it there. If they do, you can mention that he always has a home with you and that you would like first refusal if they're ever in the unfortunate position that they have to sell the horse. Again, after that i would say leave it there again unless invited.
 
Joined
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the North
How not to be a creepy ex owner: Don't turn up unanounced to visit the horse at it's new yard, because you saw the owner with it one day and worked out which yard it must be on. Don't send messages in the middle of winter asking if the schooling has improved and suggesting you could come and have a ride in the summer. Don't start every communication with blunt "requests" for a photo of the horse. Don't cry down the phone to the new owner about how much you miss the horse. Don't turn up at the yard when the horses owner isn't there to start tacking up and lie to the YO about being allowed to ride. Think that just about covers it :biggrin3:
 

ROMANY 1959

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I have good contact with two of my horses I've sold to new owners, both owners will tag me on FB and I still see both the horses at local shows, and I am often asked to hold the horse or help by reading a test or helping tack up ect...but I am not a creepy ex owner!!! If new owner ever said I was being a nuisance then I would stop offering my help.
 

FfionWinnie

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I think as long as you don't push it you'll be fine.

I bought a pony a few weeks ago. People were scared of it and just wanted it away. I had a message asking if he was ok and I replied and said yes and that I would let him know how he goes. Well did I not get two further messages in the next couple of days asking if he was settling. I'd had him 3 days max at this point. So I just ignored them. Which is a shame as I didn't mind keeping in touch at all, but I could see that becoming something it wasn't ever going to be!
 

VikingSong

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If I ever do sell a horse, I'd like to think that I would gracefully let them go. In other words, I'd accept that I'd had my time with them and now it was someone else's time.

I ignore requests from previous owners wanting to "drop in" or wanting my mobile number so I can text them sodding updates. I know someone who very nearly took out a restraining order over a previous owner who couldn't accept that "her" lovely lad wasn't her horse anymore (nor had been for a number of years).
 
Joined
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I hope I'm not a creepy ex owner. I've never turned up at the yard but we do keep in contact.

I also bred the ones that I owned so like to know how they are getting on. I had the lovely pleasure of showing one of them recently too. :). Two of the people I have sold to have become very good friends.
 

miss_c

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22 October 2008
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Near Bristol
I think I saw your post... (little chestnut pony on a large regional group?)

I can reassure you that he has a home for life and they have had him for absolutely ages. :)

Even if that's not you, I'm so pleased for you that you have managed to trace them!
 

zoelouisem

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10 August 2010
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Windsor
I've got all my daughters outgrown ponies new owners on fb, her 12.2 has now been resold after they outgrew her to a a friend or a friend and as she came back down south they invited me to see her which we did go and have a cuddle which was lovely!
Latest ponies new owners I have on Facebook but they don't really post much I've refrained from messaging even though I am desperate to know how she is as was the most heartbreaking sale of the kindest pony ever. But she's there now. I do always like the pictures though and say well done!! Wish I could keep them all but daughter is growing like a weed!!! I swear sometimes you can actually see her getting taller!!
 

Bessi

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30 September 2013
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138
I keep in contact with the previous owners of my lad, I had him as a youngster, sold him with the agreement I would buy him back if they ever wanted to sell. Bought him back with the agreement they would have the chance to buy him back if i ever sold him again. We keep in contact via Facebook, visited a few times when we lived closer and they came to watch his first event.

Ive recently sold another one who got sold on quite quickly, Ive messaged his new owners on Facebook who've told me they're getting on well with him and will send photos at some point, I won't message them again will just keep an eye out for updates.
 

Llee94

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1 October 2014
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Devon
I have my mares old owner on facebook and she loves the updates I put up. Also have my youngsters breeder on there as well who has since given up horses and moved to Spain but again she loves to see how he is getting on.

I think there is nothing wrong with asking to keep in touch. The worst they can say is no!
 

horsefeed

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10 July 2013
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433
I think I saw your post... (little chestnut pony on a large regional group?)

I can reassure you that he has a home for life and they have had him for absolutely ages. :)

Even if that's not you, I'm so pleased for you that you have managed to trace them!
Thank you, I wrote this post before I really spoke with new owners m too much and having never spoken with new owners before and only experienced over keen ex owners I was a little unsure what people considered normal or creepy.
I am over the moon that he has landed on his feet and is so well loved and cared for. I am friends with new owner on fb so will see updates which is amazing.
 
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